Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Gardasil for our daughters

This morning at 10 am the Prime Minister and Federal Health Minister Tony Abbot announced the funding of the HPV vaccine Gardasil for next year.

I for one am no longer looking at our emergency savings for the girls. And I am relieved. It isn't like we have money to spare. And ONLY YESTERDAY I discussed the vaccine at our local doctors - he wisely told me to wait.

The fact sheet can be found here.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Suzie could climb trees



This is my oldest daughter's old dog Suzie. Suzie would climb the peppercorn tree to scitch the cat. Somewhere I have a picture of Suzie getting swatted higher up on this tree by the cat.

When Sara was 6 she "found" me a black terrier dog that I loved madly for years. Sara named that dog "Suzie" too. Sara wasn't very original with names.


This is our beloved troll escapee hornbag bastard Rocky atop of Mount Larcom on one of his three climbs.

The ONE part of our fence that is not 8 foot high... he is escaping over.(It is five feet high and in his effort to get over it he is losing plenty of skin and fur) I went to the clothes line and heard the troll barking at some innocent person walking up the street from our front yard. Rocky starts his bark from the nature strip - then backs towards the house - still barking aggressively. So - I tied him up out the front. Where he dug up the newly planted plants BEFORE I went to leave to work and there is the LOCAL ANIMAL OFFICER not ten minutes after Rockys incident. Our new neighbours are very quick on the draw to ring the pound. Seems ironic - afterall it wasn't them Rocky barked at. I.. err fibbed and said he was on his chain.

Guess who is back at the fencing shop on Saturday and what exciting stuff we are doing on our Saturday afternoon?



Dotti - of course - never wants to leave the yard unless its for a walk or a drive. Especially since yesterday we cranked up the airconditioner again. Dotti LURVS the airconditioner.

However - she is deaf. And so she thinks the coolness is directly related to a particular dining chair. Move this chair into the kitchen where it is not as cool and she still sits on it and crys. Poor girl. It is funny when I am bored though. Move her chair watch her get confused. The only other airconditioner she feels is on our bed.. and Rocky normally doesn't allow her there.

Monday, November 27, 2006

MAYBE we shouldn't FEED them!

I just read or told Christian the crux of all of this. Anna has gone to bed telling us we are embarrassing her and it isn't normal for parents to react like this.

He said " Of COURSE Robert is fine with us - we feed him all the time."

I said "We feed ANYBODY any time!"

He said "Well maybe we should stop this shit!"

Hahahahaha.

Blink and time goes by....



Only a moment ago my little redhead was tottering around refusing to ever get dirty.

This morning I picked Anna and Will up from the train station to quickly get dressed for school, give them their "why we are late notes" and lunches and drop them off at school. I had to wait till William was out of earshot before I could tell Anna what I found. And that I had blogged it.

I swear she wasn't even out of the car and she was texting Robert to tell him! And the dear young man.. quickly blogging and commenting... he must of had some fear. (He still should.. Christian and I may be... understanding? however I can assure anyone... her father is the worlds biggest PRUDE and would .. geez I don't want to think too much about his reaction. I suspect I will get introuble for it. I hate being on the defensive.. so prefer the offensive.)

It - lol... that... seems wrong too?

I was a little bit disappointed that she hadn't complied with her end of our agreements - that we get contraception FIRST. We had procrastinated with that. On occasion she did say.. I think I am ready to do it.... and I would say... book the doctors appointment and we will go. So I was a little miffed that she ... neglected THIS VERY IMPORTANT PART.

However I am not mad at her. And it has made way for some wonderful jokes and horrid teasing all afternoon! I wish I could remember all the dreadful puns.

As Christian walked in the door she complained to him about the sunburn she had inflicted on herself whilst visiting her father.

"You should put some Ansell cream on that!" quipped Christian. I laughed and she looked confused. I had to quickly tell Christian that I had already blabbed... (I was meant to try say nothing and see if she read this to see I knew)... and to explain the joke to Anna.

She had some ideas for her upcoming 16th birthday party and I quipped "Well, I will have to remove the word "sweet" now wont I?" I roar laughing. She looks at me like I am mad. Again I had to explain it.

It is much harder to be funny these days I tell you!

I wish I could remember the others. It was bloody funny and I guess I won't get to do that one again. Another monumental part of our life over.

We have a doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon and... lol.. apparantly the teens have decided being around me for a few days together isnt a good idea.

She did worry that her maternal grandmother would read this and hate her. I tried to assure her that even her grandmother would understand. And you have to love Anna's complete over dramatization on anything.

My sunburnt young woman has gone to bed early. (She almost always does)

Time goes by so fast.

May she be blessed with a good healthy sex life, no ridiculous hangups,no idiot boyfriends who don't understand sex is meant to be for both partners and no early pregnancies.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Moving on to the "real" story

I treat this blog as my diary. I have always kept diaries of some sort. A couple of them have got me in big trouble. I suspect ... that tradition continues.

Sometimes I fret it - I have something I want to write and then become worried it would upset someone so I chose not too. Damn shame too... a couple I so want to share. On a few occasions I have blurted out my ramblings at midnight - to wake a little hung over and deleted.

I probably will.. I am absolutely dreadful at keeping secrets. (One brilliant one about my nearest friend... that I am silly not to because I KNOW she doesn't play on the internet so I should be safe - but I still worry my observation would upset her... so I don't)

But THIS one is about my daughter number 2. That makes her absolutely fair game.

Anna and I have (as I have blogged before) had many discussions about sex, sexuality, safe sex, when to feel it is ok, the consequences of bad decisions etc etc. She tells me stuff so that makes me feel safe.

Anna has a boyfriend - Robert. He is one year older than her and works at the same supermarket. He has became part of the furniture here. Polite, always a little terrified (I like that), bearer of the wrong gifts (he remembered I liked a particular chocolate when I quit smoking, drinking etc all those months ago - BUT he didn't remember that I only like chocolate when I quit all those things)He is a nice young man that we all like. They have cute "anniversaries". I kid you not. Monthly they try to treat each other. She did not get any of this shit from me.

They text and talk on the telephone all the time. I mean ALL the time. I have heard her phone go off at 3 am and she answers it. If I wake her pissed as a parrot after a wonderful night at midnight she tells me to piss off! Actually - she gets mad at me when I want to crawl into her bed to watch "Cell Dogs" when Christian is watching dreadful car shows at 10 pm at night. It is much more fun to watch "Cell Dogs" with a friend than alone.

I am completely aware I am waffling badly.

Today - we went to get Anna's bedhead to take it outside to strip the paint and prepare for the continuation of decorating her room. And alongside the dust bunnies under her bed.. LOOK WHAT WE FOUND!


I was tempted to text message her. Before she left for Rockhampton Christian actually told her to make sure she had nothing to hide in her room because we were going to work in there. My daft beautiful girl.

I wanted to text "Dumbass - always get rid of the evidence.. dont leave the opened condom wrappers under your bed!" .. and then I thought of the consequences had her father seen that text message.

Christian wouldn't let me broach the subject this afternoon at the supermarket with Robert when I went to get dog food. By absolute miracle Robert was STACKING THE DOG FOOD AISLE! Christian actually pointed at the checkout for me and I had to go. I didn't get to say ONE WORD.

I was going to be funny and say "I found something of yours under Anna's bed". Christian assures me this is not funny and I am not allowed to say ANYTHING until I have at least discussed it with her.

Funny just isn't funny anymore!

She is growing up. I know she is no dill. This is all a normal part of growing up.

Friday I told M (girlfriend) about how I had accidently burst in on Anna and Robert that week and ... met a compromising situation. I was cranky at me - forgetting to knock... barging in without thought...

The compromising situation may have been just a little more compromising than I thought.

So there will be no more procrastinating discussions about birth control or even me thinking to wait for the cost of Gardasil to go down.

Her dumbass actions are actually heriditary. Sigh.

Repairing the Benaraby Race Track


Last week a fire destroyed property at the local Benaraby Race Track. That is about 15 minutes drive from here. It certainly isn't one of your flash race tracks - but it is a place many local blokes have a lot of fun. I have never enjoyed watching any type of motor vehicle go around and around. Christian and the kids do.

However, Christian's boss is very much a car enthusiast. And when a "working bee" to fix the damage was called for today... Christian's boss kindly volunteered their services. Sunday pay rates are very attractive. However - I happen to know Christian will volunteer his services. I am pretty certain his boss wont read this.

So - they removed the burnt wreckage and left just the concrete block. Christian arrived home just after noon absolutely black with soot and dust. This would mean he had been having a lot of fun playing. The other photos he took - I worry the fun the men seem to be having could get someone in trouble.

A very odd Sunday

Building up to the most interesting thing that happened today. Actually feeling nervous as I write this. So I am going to start with the most odd.. yet banal thing that occurred today.

As I mentioned - the kids are away this weekend. Jane is home from boarding school and Anna and William have joined her at their fathers.

Today - Christian worked. That was odd for me. A Sunday morning wherein I didn't cook a hot breakfast for all of us. It was quiet... and although I had a list of tasks to achieve.. the quiet and luxury of being alone... meant I didn't seem to achieve a terrible lot. No taxiing or instructions on when I had to be available. No Christian hounding me to get up before 7 am (or indulge in adult type activity)and a terrible struggle to sleep in. It was so odd.. I didn't manage to sleep in properly. I kept waking until 8.30 am and I gave up. I HAD planned for indulgent sleeping and dreaming until at least 10 am.

I played with the new BBQ - cold chicken galore in the refridgerator now. I washed and cleaned.(Not enough) I tossed the ball for the dogs. I walked to the supermarket for capsicum and mushrooms to add to kebabs for the BBQ. All the time .. feeling half way between happy and sad. The quiet was nice, I felt like it was perfectly ok for me to sit and do my nails for an hour...and yet I felt like I was cheating? I dead headed the marguerite daisies..with scissors wasting heaps of time. But I think the sadness came from being completely out of my normal.

The dogs liked it when I accidently cooked ham steaks and realised they wouldnt be so good cold. It was really odd.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

I don't normally like games - but this is cute - QWERTY warriors

Bored - waiting for something and can't find any more blogs or news that you like to read? A friend gave me something to do in those boring minutes that I don't mind! (The kids are away) BUT.. I am also thinking this game could be good for the kids typing skills!?

Try QWERTY warriors.

The New BBQ - Jackeroo Tuscany SV

Today - we went and bought a new bbq. The best we could afford. And for once it wasnt the absolute cheapest! There were some real beauties.. but our budget didn't go that far...

I have always said I am easily amused. Six burners under the hood thingo - and the side burner for my wok or the corn cobs! Or the pot for the crabs!
I was so impatient to bring it home from the shop that I didn't heed the safety instructions at the delivery bay. They clearly said that if your vehicle couldnt fit the boxes in their original state you could not take the item until you had arranged a trailer etc. I didn't want to wait to go and get the other car, hook up the trailer etc etc... Saturday morning traffic is a bastard and all... everywhere was SO BUSY this morning... So I convinced the staff member to let me break the rule and pull all the bits out of the box so I could fit them in my little ten year old hyundai sonata.
Unfortunately in part of the packaging I tossed into the skip bin... was the assembly instructions etc.
My beloved can have a filthy mouth sometimes.
Anyway - I was confident in his ability and duly delivered cold drinks and held bits while he screwed bits in. Instead of having spare parts like I usually do... he went to the hardware store to buy more bolt thingies... for extra strength.
The kids are away at Rockhampton this weekend and I was disappointed I didnt have a hoard of people to cook for.
Sadly our new possession pleases me. Really pleases me. I didn't even whinge when MOTH made me go visit more boat motor shops. Not verbally anyways.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Greed:Low
 
Gluttony:Low
 
Wrath:Medium
 
Sloth:Low
 
Envy:Very Low
 
Lust:Medium
 
Pride:Medium
 


The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

Haha... I really didn't lie on the food questions. And I am aware I am a glutton who loves food. But I just dont eat takeaway very often and I cook more than many.

How dull! I do have a temper it has simply been curtailed somewhat over the years. The lust I have is plenty but it is for my partner. And Envy very low.. I dunno. I do envy other people.. it's just I can always go feed the ducks, go fishing, read a book... the questions on these things are a bit odd.

If only the mirror could do this!

My title is purely in jest. I do worry about the negative effects of body image and what advertising is feeding our children. I found this page over at Tigtog's blog. Have a look - 70 years ago we DID know to appreciate beauty.

I reckon I have more to say on body and beauty image. But I just spent an hour talking to my girlfriend Robyn.... and she made me laugh too much over her latest antics and I completely forget what I was thinking about.

I need to write a blog just about what my girlfriends are up too. I miss a couple of them too... there is just never enough time. Sigh.

Nope - I haven't cleaned up the Gecko poop. Maybe tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Gecko tale



Us Queenslanders do enjoy our little geckos. Although - I suspect this gecko isnt the one of the native variety and is in fact an Asian pest that has populated the town via illegal entry....

There are no spiders in my house EXCEPT for in the loo and the bathroom - where we have never seen a gecko. I don't worry about spiders either - so long as they live by the "above head height" rule they can stay. But if they venture down below head height.. they have to be moved outside.

We see the geckos in every other room, and delight when they sing to each other either around the house or the garden. Vocal and lusty little creatures. Bit of singing.. then one peeks out of one painting and the other from a blind.... and one of them scurries to the other.

Another of lifes wonderful things. EXCEPT! LOOK!



It HAS to be gecko poo. There is simply no other explanation.

On my new yellow paint. That attracts bugs just for them. Sigh.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Best Scottish short joke?

BEST SCOTTISH SHORT JOKE...

A guy walks into a Glasgow library and
says to the librarian "Excuse
me Miss, day ye hiv ony books on suicide?"


To which she stops doing her tasks, looks
at him over the top of her
glasses, and says, "F*** off, ye'll no bring it back!"


Ok - I could be having a dark humour day. I think it is bloody funny.

Love and Sharing

When you have a Drumstick - chances are you have a very good friend.
An extremely loving and patient friend with very good manners.
Buggar off Anna - this is ours!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

festy toe number 3



Now - half the toe nail is gone. Christian said he helped cut it off so William can now keep it cleaner. Of course if you look at the rest of his foot... it isn't very clean. They have been burning stuff in the back yard.

Sigh. Gross huh?

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Boxers love to play ball



Every single night at around 9 pm Dotti finds one of her balls... usually under a sofa, cupboard or bed. She crouches where she finds it and cries until one of us stupid humans retrieve it for her.

Then, she bangs us all with it until we throw it. I mean it .. continually hits the ball onto our legs and lap to tell us to play. She lets go of it ever so breifly and then snaps it up fast. You will get hurt if you are too slow. (No blood... just snapped) The ball gets all wet and disgusting. I tried to ban all ball playing inside after we started the painting. I am not very successful at setting boundaries I guess.

Tonight she has started at 8pm! Has she some southern bloodline that means she is now on daylight savings time? Horrors.

The WORST thing is neither of my dogs are keen to play ball outdoors. They always get sidetracked by something else. But inside.. they will play ball all night long.

My son no longer HATES girls

This week William (12) proudly announced to me that he has a "girlfriend". He asked Elle to go steady with him - and she agreed.

Not only has poor Will's had to deal with the ribbing from his mates at school - but his home life has endured some unwanted teasing too.

William is the youngest with three older sisters. When he was very little he proclaimed he HATED GIRLS. They fussed him, teased him, dragged him, bullied and generally harrassed him.

One particularly NASTY day - when William said to his sisters "I HATE ALL GIRLS" the girls told him.... "MUMMY IS A GIRL."

William was horrified and ran to me - "Mummy, YOU ARE NOT A GIRL ARE YOU?"

And nope.. William I wasnt THAT KIND OF GIRL. Anyway.

And for years I worried he would NEVER like girls. And it would be all his sisters fault!

But - as I watch him carefully comb his hair and actually bother to wear socks... I kinda miss the little boy who was sure his beloved MOTHER COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE A GIRL.

Dotti waits for me to attend to nibblies



Patiently waiting for me to bring the treats. What lovely manners!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Storm in a teacup - continuation of Boarding School woes

This was Jane's (my youngest daughters) email to us this morning.

Hey Mum...I I have my first piano concert this friday and im playing oh
when the saints come marching in...Im really nervous about it though...Bell
is about to ring so i have to go...Bye Mum Love you...Oh yea and i got a
official warning and if i get 2 more im expelled so i wont get any
more...Bye Love you

Damn shame we can't get the school to compensate us for her lacking in grammar and spelling.

But she has said what she knows I want to hear.

I thought she had quit piano just before she took up tennis. Tennis that she quit - and Anna and I now use her racket for our "hit and giggle" sessions. And after was dancing and swimming. Or was that before?

Festy toe is getting better



William's toe is looking much better. Less blackness. More poking and showing his friends.

Boys can be gross.

Pinching a meme

Ok. Christian is at his boat course and I am bored alone. William is in his room watching “The Neverending story”, Anna and Robert (her boyfriend) are in her room probably sucking face, Dotti is on the sofa next to me and Rocky is miserably awaiting his masters return outside by the front fence. The fence that – hooray! Insert happy dance here - has kept him inside the yard all this week.

So – I am going to do the meme I found at PC’s and then at Elsewhere’s. (Well it originally went the other way around but nevermind) I went and copied and pasted it from the original link – and want to go look at the other ladies but am making myself wait until I finish mine. And I mustn’t go back and peek.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I am late and my hair is a disaster. Nevermind, stick it in a pony tail. I also pondered how come our bathroom vanity mirror is so disgusting and made a mental note to clean it when I got home from work. Another mental note I took no action over.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
Hmmm, there is $2.30 in my wallet and $6.40 in the drawer for milk and bread money. I will have to replenish both tomorrow. I almost always use Eftpos. Except for booze – I always get the cash out for that first at the supermarket and then go to the bottleshop.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”

Core?

4. Favorite planet?

Well Earth, duh. I do like it when Christian points out Mars to me when we walk the dogs along the broadwalk. He is probably wrong – but I always love those times anyways. Probably because sometimes he astounds me in what he is interested in.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

Anna. sigh.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

Nope I don’t have a favorite one. I chose this one just because it came from the song “Sunday Morning After” and the only other one I recognized was the one in the dinosaur poop in one of the Lost World movies. Even now I hear it and think.. Dinosaur poop. Somehow a hangover is more appealing to me than the thought of dinosaur poop. Dinosaur poop is probably more useful.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

A work white t-shirt. I have the exact same ones in red and navy blue. I am hardly a snappy dresser. I mean to go to Rivers soon and buy three more. The same colours. Sigh.

8. Do you “label” yourself?

Well – I guess I am a lefty… but no – I let others worry about nomenclature. And I just try to follow the rules?

9. Name the brand of your shoes you’re currently wearing?

No shoes.. and no desire for brand names. I do like comfortable. And I like to look at pretty shoes.

10. Bright or Dark Room?

Bright! Bright! Bright! I hate the dark! Unless it is outside by campfire. And Christian AND MY KIDS like the blinds shut and dark. Next house will have a bright room just for me and they can all buggar off and stay in their dark rooms.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?

Oh! I love reading the blogs. Latest addiction. It is so interesting to hear about everyday things from the perspective of someone (especially women but not only) that live a different reality than me. I think the two I did read of this one are both interesting women and ones that would be pleasant to have lunch with or go for a bushwalk with.

12. What does your watch look like?

I don’t have one. I use my cell phone or the computers to tell me the time. The kids always tell me when I am late anyway. I should get a watch. Maybe there will be a watch at Rivers.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Oh how embarrassing. I was watching Madonna and Shakira on You Tube swigging away on my wine and apple and guava juice telling myself to get to bed because I have work in the morning.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

“Pick me up at brumbies now luv u” from Anna.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?

I think there is something similar to 7-11 at the Nightowl shopping centre. And – there is an all night service stations that sells stuff. Don’t pay that much attention I guess.

16. What’s a word that you say a lot?

Dreadful. But I have four kids and two dogs. Not to mention a man.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?

Christian. Human wise. When Anna says " I LOVE you Mum" it usually is after I have tucked my dress into my underwear, tripped over in the street or starting singing "The sign says one way" from Sesame street in the supermarket. The dogs tell me they love me much more often.

18. Last furry thing you touched?

Dotti. Short fur – but fur none the less.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

Just coffee, cigarettes and wine. I reckon that is plenty? I take panadol three times a year. Wait – I have got a drug in the cupboard a doctor gave me when I tried to quit drinking alcohol, coffee and smoking cigarettes. But I only took two. Zamhexal™. Should give them back to the chemist I guess. Or I might try quitting again. Who knows?

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?

About five. And I am a bit scared of them too because I KNOW at least one roll had “adult” pictures taken… from when I first met Christian 11+ years ago. They are all pretty safe in the drawer. I wonder what is on them.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?

Too hard a question. Pass and hope I get marks on the others. I liked many ages. The years/times I found difficult wasn’t because of the age.. I just have more pleasant memories than bad ones.

22. Your worst enemy?

I don’t have one. I am not going to say myself. I quite like me. But I can suffer from “foot in mouth” and sometimes I don’t need my feet or mouth – my facial expressions have got me in plenty of trouble too.

23. What is your current desktop picture?

Current one? I haven’t changed the Windows™ one yet. Last one for months was my grandson Jay and the seal – and the one before that was William and Dotti “playing” checkers.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?

“Anna – where is my camera card?”

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

Fly – even though I am afraid of heights. I would still choose to fly. (But REALLY when am I ever going to get THAT choice. Sometimes the choice of.. too sleep in or not to sleep in is beyond my control)

26. Do you like someone?!

I like HEAPS of people. I love a couple of dozen I guess.

27. The last song you listened to?

Oh no……… yep it was Shakira “Hips don’t lie”. I just love it to get me dancing.

28. What time of day were you born?

I would have to ask my mother. I think sometime late afternoon. I forget.

29. What’s your favorite number?.

Seven. Buggared if I know why I say that too.

30. Where did you live in 1987?.

Epping, Sydney North Shore NSW and worked at Rushcutters Bay.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?

Sure – momentarily. Sometimes I would love more money, or to never have to find the cheap way to do something. Or to have traveled! To not turn the car radio up when a new strange noise develops as I drive past someone in a new slick car. I have envied the women who look sophisticated with their face cleverly painted, gorgeous jewelry and tailored clothes as I lick down my wayward hair, pick bits of tobacco out of my lipstick, fiddle with my painted macaroni necklace and try to get the dog hair off me with a wet face washer. But I get over it. Usually very quickly. Bet those lucky people can never fit three or more humans to a bed and some dogs. And I reckon the time wasted putting the face on would be better spent out smelling the flowers.

32. Is anyone jealous of you?

I would hope not.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

Well – happened I was asleep. But I did watch the news in horror and chat to some online friends in the Northern Hemisphere.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?

I almost never use them – however I cant see myself getting upset over small change.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?

Yes.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?

“Had to”? Well I guess then I would be a prisoner or something. Because I simply wouldn’t get a tattoo.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?

Yeah – I am dull here and would go with French or Spanish.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?

Of course. I will move even if the people I love dont want me too. I want to see and experience all I can.

39. Are you touchy feely?

I don’t like to be touched or hugged by people. I barely like my kids to do it. But I like sex. I don’t think this meme was meant to be x-rated but.

40. What’s your life motto?

If all else fooks up – you can always go watch the dolphins, feed the ducks and smell the flowers.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

All times. That is a bit silly isn’t it? What about the shower or in bed? But I do have my purse, usually my cigarettes (wretched slave that I am to my own addictions) and generally in public I wear clothes.

42. What’s your favorite town/city?.

I haven’t left Australia yet so I don’t know. I love to visit Sydney but I wouldn’t want to live there again. I just don’t know yet. I can amuse myself and find something that makes me happy in most places really. I think I would feel annoyed if I lived somewhere that had no nearby fishing.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

I always pay cash for my wine and other alcohol. Only because I grew horrified at looking at my bank statements appearing to be DOMINATED by the names of liquor stores.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

Too long ago and I certainly owe a few.

45. Can you change the oil on a car?

I can check it. Christian does the oil. I guess I do know how too. Christian used my Christmas pudding steamer to change the oil once! I was furious – a gift from my mother in law – that I returned to her every Christmas so she could make my pudding!

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?.

Oh nothing. Actually I think my first dozen male type “loves” where all duds. I don’t really give a damn about them*. I do hope they are all happy. A couple were very nice people.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?

I don’t really listen properly. I loved it when my Aunt Nina would talk family but I don’t seem to remember it all very well.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Heavens! when I put my work skirts and shirts on I think I am dressed fancy enough for me. Shortly the silly season starts so I will need a dress for parties and dinners I guess.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

Nope. I ate too much. And the wine hasn’t given me a buzz yet. I am capable of complaining without actual pain.

50. Have you been burned by love?

*Well that comment just made me feel like a real bitch!
Of course I have cried and been hurt when my ideals didn’t turn out to be what they should have been. I have listened to Melissa Etheridge OVER AND OVER AGAIN and even.. sigh.. sang “Jolene” and “I’m not Lisa” as I drank too much and produced too much mucus. And I have been hurt by those I love many many times. But everything usually sorts itself out. And I love to love, feel loved and... etc etc.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Wow - who would of thought? (detect the sarcasm peoples)

Ms Fits uses her delightful choice of saying little to say a lot. Comments are interesting too.

Monday mornings - or tales of the festy toenails & errant dogs

William woke me very early this Monday morning with - "Mum look at my toe - it is leaking stuff!"

Of course I thought it was a bad dream, and rolled over cause we all know to roll over is like changing the channel on a dream.



But this bad dream kept on going.

"William get that THING OFF MY BED! Couldn't you wait until I got up to show me that?"

"You told me I wasn't to wait until you were late for work to tell you important stuff."

I MEANT tell me the day before. Or get an appointment or something. I DEFINATELY didnt mean stick it on my pillow when it is only just daylight.

I sat up and asked him why it was "leaking". Because he and his stepfather had CUT IT WITH A SCALPEL. Well duh. I asked Will why he would do such a thing - and he said.. because Christian says the toenail is going to fall off and that is going to be so COOL.

So - I head for coffee and try to wake up. He follows me and asks me WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT. Oh gawdddddddddddddddddd. I dont know. So I soaked it in the foot spa with some bicarb. I was gunna throw in my foot salts.. but then thought again about the word SALT. I said maybe it would soften it up and the toenail would come off sooner.

Sadly - William thinks this is very cool. His mates all come over and peer and poke at it. It makes me gag and I .. was so never meant to be a nurse. I so appreciate nurses.

Anna wakes and comes and yells at me. "William is squeezing his toe and making GROSS STUFF come out of it in the living room." (What - she thinks I don't KNOW THIS ALREADY?)

Anna reminds me "Today is Williams swimming day - they arent going to let him swim with that."

William suggests a bandaid. For heavens sake - he has been manipulating the toenail so much its.. just sort of hanging there and its LEAKING BLOOD AND STUFF. He is SQUEEZING stuff out of it. More dry retching and I threaten him... for making me ill.

Well the dumbasses have cut at the toenail so that now it is all jagged! and a sock or shoe cant go on it. William TRIES TO HAND ME THE SCALPEL! I said maybe we should just go to the doctors. William said his mate REGGIE DIDNT GO TO THE DOCTORS WHEN HE HAD TWO OF HIS FINGERNAILS FALL OFF. I say - WELL I BET REGGIE DIDNT SLICE AT HIS WITH A SCALPEL.

William shows me his blood and.. oh I don't want to think what... stained sheets and said it was oozing stuff BEFORE THEY CUT AT IT.

OH gawd... he can just have the day off school. Happily William retreats to the sofa with remote control and cartoons to fuzz his brain MORE. I guess to appease me during the day he dragged out the footspa a couple of times and sat soaking.

By this time I have noticed Rocky isn't home again. He was there when I went for coffee.. I heard the back door slam... and now... he is nowhere. Shit shit shit... I dont want another fine. So - top half dressed for work bottom half in boxer shorts I drive round the streets looking for the dog. Hoping I dont have to get out of the car.

When Rocky heard the car he came running over the bridge and jumped into the window... for a drive. A very short drive. Home. To go on the chain. ALL DAY.

Yesterday when Christian and I were working on the crazy path out the back and laying topsoil - arguing with the dogs because they thought the fresh soil was for them to dig nice cool holes in... we discussed buying yet more dog fence wire for the only bit of the yard that isn't absolutely secure...but is still a 6 foot fence just with chicken wire.. that Rocky has previously managed to CLIMB over. We decided.. nah - the efforts we had made SURELY would secure him.

WRONG AGAIN.

My car boot is full of winter dooners that I wash at the laundrymat because my machine just doesn't do them as well. They have been there for a while actually. With a box of powder. Groceries still fit in. Dog wire wont. I will have to do the bloody washing this week. Yes I suspect I put them there for out of sight out of mind. I should of done that this afternoon.

And of course it is Monday and IF Tom is going to put in his ten cents worth about Jane's storm in a teacup it is going to be today. So I turned off my mobile phone and took the house phone off the hook. Archiving is good work at the moment - no one can find me there.

I should of done lots of things this afternoon. But I didn't - I just fiddled with the plants for the garden. Cooked dinner and didnt bother to make dessert.

It is pretty safe to say William has learnt not to put his festy toenail on my pillow in the morning. He tried to tell me this afternoon that it didn't hurt at all and I went off again. THEN WHY THE HELL DIDNT YOU GO TO SCHOOL!

And he said because Anna and I were so disgusted by it..... and because we said he wouldn't be able to do swimming! I THOUGHT it looked painful and must of been KILLING HIM.

Note to self - ASK the kid if he is in pain and needs to stay home. Don't assume.

And - Rocky continues to be miserable with his confinement. Anna PAID William to do the washing up tonight.

There are days that I think we are the perfect contented family and all is good and lovely in the world. Today has not been one of those days.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Ok - I am over it.. next...

Thank you my southern new found friends. (Hmmm funny I feel like that about you hey?)

After the drama on Friday night - Anna (daughter no 2) told me that her father (Tom - an ex) had told her on the telephone that he had absolutely had Jane's (daughter no 3) behaviour - and he was going to send her back to live with me and attend a public school.

Luckily that seems to have been the BEER talking. I was afraid at first. But come Saturday and both sobriety and sanity prevail....and although I DESPISE arguments with Tom - I was ready for it.. and it didnt happen. He can be a sensible man.

I guess tomorrow we will find out the schools response to both Janes' actions and my arguments. After work I will ring the school and discuss the problem again. Or I could simply bury my head in the sand and wait for the danger/ickiness to pass. Mondays can be like that. If she is given her "exit course" as the boarding supervisor told her she would have.... I will quickly print out and mail Tom the information on other boarding schools.

Jane's boarding school is actually cheap. Tom - who neither cooks or cleans for himself REALLY found that sending Jane to school for $250 a week was cheaper than trying to look after her himself. Occasionally he tries to complain to me about how much he has to pay. I immediately go into my own tirade of how.. before this arrangement myself or the stepfather have paid for every morsel of food, roof over head, education requirement, sporting activities, medical expenses and then I can REALLY go on about the amount of work, sleepless nights, property damage, intellectual damage, PHYSICAL DAMAGE and then I venture into the public humiliation stories.

He ALWAYS pours himself a drink when I do this. And (almost always) I win.

Because Tom is self employed he can claim most expenses. His three week holidays with his racehorses... are all tax deductions. USUALLY he doesnt have to pay me child support. He can buy horses worth tens of thousands of dollars, new vehicles to transport them and stay at nice hotels around the country. For two years he had to pay me $10 a fortnight. It took me eighteen months to FIGURE OUT WHY THIS TEN DOLLARS A FORTNIGHT WAS GOING INTO MY ACCOUNT. Child support laws in Australia are just fooked up. Last year he won a considerable amount of prizemoney and got ordered to pay me just under $500 a month.

Christian (step father) is a labourer who earns about $50k and does huge overtime. Sometimes I do paid work and more often than not I dont. I just do housekeeping (yes badly) and often volunteer work. I am always busy believe it or not. Usually I never get all the stuff I am meant to do done. I really never get the time to finish reading the books I want, or to draw or paint, I have heaps of stuff i want to fiddle with on the pc....

Child Support Agency told the ATO and Centrelink that we get an extra $500 a month, so our government allowances where cut. I rang and said.. well I dont actually get this money.... and they said.. either you go with your original (fifteen years ago when I told child support I would collect it myself because the amount was NIL... sigh... IDIOTS) ..SIGH.. either I go with my original Or I hand it over to child support agency who will get the dollars out of him no matter what ..... Oh yeah. Like I am really going to be a part of them taking his stuff of him during lean times to compensate for better times. It is a domestic violence situation waiting to happen. And being realistic... his assets are eventually my kids assets. Shove the money we will manage just fine without it.

Arseholes.

I HAPPEN to like peace. I like to be able to talk to Tom like a normal person and not fight. I like it when we all have dinner, Christmas and birthdays together. I dont mind it when he needs my help with paperwork or similar. I like it when we act like friends. I know we are not - and his resentment of me is always brimming.... I leave when he has had a few beers and I laugh when the girls tell me what he says about me. Oddly enough, I loved this man once. And I almost feel sorry for him that he hasnt had the times with the kids that I have. Well - almost.

I can see why other seperated couples are so bitter and twisted though. When we seperated we had many.. odd times. One time he wouldnt pay the mortgages cause his bush lawyer mates told him I would get the lot. That placed a hell of a stress on me. Three toddlers and a $2k a month mortgage on two properties and thirty stables. The bank was pretty unhappy about the missing payments - and I had rent to pay, two toddler girls and a baby in hospital. Then we had a stage where we decided to continue our original.. subdivide and sell slowly to make money .... then I got sued by a horrid cow that threatened to bankrupt me and Christian... and would of affected my assets with Tom - so I accepted a nominal settlement to protect the NSW interests. When I told Tom - pay me $20 k and I will sign out... he who crys so broke ALL THE TIME... had that money in three days. In the end the horrid cow got fook all.

But I am still glad I protected the other people involved.

Tomorrow will bring another chapter. Or if I am lucky - not. But mannnnnnn am I glad there has been no confrontational phone calls with Tom.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Dickens style boarding schools in Australia

Jane rang today upset because her boarding school had decided that her punishment for not attending dinner time - was that she could not have dinner. (She has told us in the past of similar punishments - I confess I simply didnt believe her. Who the fook doesnt feed kids now days as a punishment? That went out with the dark ages? Or not)

I spoke to her immediate supervisor who defended the decision that because Jane was eight minutes late no dinner - but common room food that was available (toast, cereal and fruit) was acceptable.

I said I didnt think it a suitable punishment. I suggested there would be other more suitable punishments. Jane doesnt eat cereal, only eats fruit if you sneak it into something and.. has never been fond of toast. Supervisor referred me to the boarding boss. I rang, and got the answering machine. An hour or more later (our dinner time.. boarding school dinner time must be like 5.30 pm)

I went to bed hungry only once in my life. It was my stepfathers form of punishment. And it was horrid. I would wish it on no one.

Boarding boss confirmed.. decision stood.. it was acceptable punishment. Jane was late to dinner therefore she gets none. She can eat toast and fruit. In the common room. Of course if there is any left.

I said I completely disagreed with that punishment and was sure another more appropriate one could be used. She said ... then you speak to the school principal Monday. I said I will. I also suggested that I dont think the Department of Community Services etc would advocate not feeding children dinner as a punishment. She said toast and cereal were perfectly appropriate food.

Remember - boarding schools promise to educate our children for the future. In future I do not want my daughters eating toast for dinner.

I got very angry. I want claps for not swearing. May the horrible cow eat toast and cereal for dinner for the rest of her life. Or at least the week.

Jane wasnt aware I was on the phone trying to defend her. Jane took matters into her own hands. And pissed off and walked into town to buy her own dinner.

While I cooked our dinner... Jane's father rang Anna (older sister) to tell her he was cranky with Jane and wanted her to come home to me... but wasnt game to talk to me now. Good move. Hot pokers and nasty thoughts definately come to my mind.

Jane then rang me... she has been told by cow superviser that she is to be given her "exit course" from said school.

ehh - Jane should of been on time for dinner. She should be punished for not being on time - I can agree with that. But toast? and fucking Milo? Apples and cereal? With no milk? Why cant she just help cook for a week? Peel some potatoes? Do an extra round of housekeeping? The old emu duty... pick up papers on the oval? Hell make her write lines.. she has beautiful handwriting.

Would YOU starve a kid as a punishment? Have you ever tried to sleep hungry?

Jane is no angel. Apparantly she was upset another girl was threatening her and thats why she was late to dinner. Jane claims the cook was still in residence when Jane was sent away. I dont think parents should have to fret that our kids are being taught toast is ok for dinner.....when we pay them to educate the kids.

And wow.. I am really drunk and cranky about this.

Prelude to the next post - dont read this one...

The drama of having teenage daughters. Sensible people just have a dog. I am having “an evening”.

My youngest daughter Jane attends boarding school in Yeppoon - about an hour and a half drive away. Normally – I love boarding school for Jane. I guess that could sound rather cold and heartless of me. However, I have raised Jane. It has been a hell of a lot of hard work. One of the great things about boarding school is that they rarely call me. I hear about any of Jane’s not so pleasant escapades either from her or via her sister. I often wonder why the girls insist on telling me the stuff I don’t really want to hear. But – they do. And I thank god/dog for boarding school.

Boarding school has rang me twice. Once when Jane – extremely clumsily and .. oh like chicken scratches? Cut her arms.. self harm means I got a call. And the other time was when she fell and they took her to the doctors but nothing was broken.

I have already lived with raising Jane. Some of the unpleasant effects of this included:-
• Other parents arriving at my door agitated over some horrid antic of hers (examples could include:- emailing their children porn (met one of my best friends with this actually); showing their children how to make home made bombs; using paint to decorate tree houses meant to be used on their super dooper new renovations; throwing food at their children from the bus; general harassment etc)
• Hmmm – the other parents thing wasn’t just at my door – I have been accosted by angry parents at sporting events and the supermarket too. For a while there I hated going out into the world because I was constantly worried someone would grab me to … tell me how awful she had been.
• Regular (never ending) fear of the telephone – it will be the school for sure.
• Visits from relevant child protection agencies sure that Jane’s behavior must stem from horrific abuse and neglect. I sometimes was not very nice to these “officials”.
• School requests that I attend endless (and expensive) psychiatric assessments and the suggestion she has aspergers and I should really seek medical intervention. (They clearly meant drug her – there was no mistake about that)
• Her father chastising me over my rotten job at raising her (whilst he contributed ZILCH financially, emotionally or physically he did do a very good job of telling me how I was fooking it up.)

My daughter Jane is juxtapose of characteristics and traits. She is clever (it is pretty clever to find out how to make home made bombs at the age of 7 from an hour or so on the internet when your mother thought you were playing Neopets), and she is curious (she wasn’t happy to just watch old Stevie Erwin milk the cane toads for poison – she had to do it herself.. and store the poison); she is very pretty, she can be wonderfully communicative and tell me witty funny stories… (it is just a terrible shame they sometimes are about illicit parties, sneaking out of school or her fathers house and condoms filled with hair conditioner and unsuspecting and innocent victims) she can be amazingly resourceful and hardworking (hey that tree house looked wonderful in blue! Three kids covered in turps wash off paint when I had no turps wasn’t one of my favourite moments though)

She is taciturn, though. One on one contact with Jane can be pleasant and fun. Asking Jane why she chose to use nikko pen on the school bus seats to write nasty stuff about the driver can be very unpleasant. Both her father and stepfather don’t seem to be able to retain their temper when she stares at the ceiling or starts singing during such “conversations”. I don’t really either – but I just react differently. I guess.

I did make the decision to send Jane to her father – who almost immediately made the decision to send her to boarding school – the day she raised a fist to me. And life for the rest of settled down …….. so much - that it was painful at the same time it was happy? I miss her, fret for her and wish she was here with me. And then school holidays come – and terror and fights and Anna and William DEMANDING I send Jane to her fathers home. When Jane is gone though – if anyone says the slightest thing that could be perceived as bad about Jane – both of them will jump to her defense. Boarding school has longer holidays than public school kids… so about four weeks a year Jane and I have with her siblings still at school – and that time is pleasant.

Jane is smart. Really smart. If SHE chooses to work – she does a brilliant job. She has decided to please me by cooking or cleaning and done wonderful work! If you ask her to make her bed or hang out a load of washing – she will do a terrible job. Actually she will simply throw a cover over the bed and possible hoik the wet washing in an unseen corner of the yard. She did well academically… there was never any problems with that. Academically she did (does) the best of all my four children. (excepting first term this year – I still have no idea what happened with that)

When she went to live with her dad, she gained heaps of weight because he didn’t keep her occupied like I did. And he let her eat rubbish. (This also contributed to her fights with me here – I was a fool who tried to feed my kids healthy stuff…and home baking caused an alienation.. ) Unfortunately this contributed to some of her teenage angst. I.. used the tactic – keep her busy and I should have less trouble. If she got banned from the school buses (twice) she had to ride her bike to school and I would not pick her up. Drama classes – expelled and no refund. Dancing and cheerleading (the cheerleading was not my idea.. bloody school) and she got banned from both.

It resulted in huge energy (yes read angst) for me… attending job interviews or William’s doctors appointments with his bone tumors.. and Jane HIDING from the school in a cupboard or pissing off into the local drainage pipes with an equally “resourceful?” friend resulting in police searches……..(one of those events really was the day that we went to find out what Williams first bone tumors was… I felt like an absolute lunatic – hollering on the phone… “Oh for heavens sake… SHE IS FINE - SHE IS JUST BEING NAUGHTY I WILL DEAL WITH IT LATER” as the horrid principal tried to tell me I should really be there with them and the police search. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I guess I am only now - eight years later - coming to terms why that bastard told child services I was unfit. He probably had a good point seeing I reacted so badly.

But she was… just hiding. In a cupboard. Watching the drama unfold as the school searched for the missing child.

And back then… in the early days when this trouble would happen. I would react badly like that… tell the principal to deal with it … I guess act as if it wasn’t a great deal… and then I would feel bad and jump the ropes they asked me too… book the shrink appointment, attend it, (PAY FOR IT!) watch Jane completely refuse to speak to them, ($150 to not talk to someone!) think I didn’t really blame Jane for not wanting to talk to the smiling stranger either… Get angry at the GP’s suggestion of Ritalin, try (unsuccessfully) to explain to teachers that Jane was just naughty…

I STILL feel that. Jane is just naughty. When she is good she is very, very good and when she is bad she is horrid. It isn’t easy to get attention in this house. Middle child (Sara was not raised with me), youngest child with health issues and oldest child… well I relate well to Anna.

Every awful thing she does.. I completely relate to.

Anna gets suspended from school.

Why? She hit a boy with a stick.

Why did she hit the boy with a stick? Because the boy hit her first with his hand.

I related to that. I don’t condone it or… want her to run around hitting anyone with sticks.

Every time Anna gets introuble I can relate to what she did. One time an Indian maths teacher accused Anna of a racist remark… and Anna went off her nut… absolutely refused to behave….she felt she had been wrongfully accused.. did not say the derogatory term that had been attributed to her….BUT FELT CALLING HIM A DICKHEAD ETC after was perfectly ok. (It is kind of funny – three day suspension and all)

And the AWFUL part of me… agreed. It is so hard being a mother.

Jane doesn’t make it easy – by refusing to tell us why she did something horrid. Hell – Anna and I have tried to slip her half decent excuses and she just wont,,,,,,,,, tell us.

Ask the dogs. They just learn quickly chewing up the sofa isn’t beneficial in the long run. If you are a dog chances are you need a sofa to sleep on.

Sofas don’t grow on trees you know.

Guess who could of consumed more wine than necessary?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The first Tuesday in November

And my first ever Tuesday when I didnt bother to celebrate Melbourne Cup day! William, Anna and I went and fed the ducks at the duck ponds instead. Anna and I played tennis yesterday afternoon and today both of us are sore. We are unsure if it was from the exercise or from the laughing.

Work had a luncheon and they put the bigscreen tv outside in the carpark... and sweeps etc. A few asked me to stay but I just wanted to get home. Make sure the dogs were in the yard and the kids hadn't burnt down the house type thing. And why I would want to hang around at work .... when I am so enjoying this half day stuff?



Lucky for me today Rocky has been pretty tired. We started painting Anna's furniture on the weekend and will do walls etc soonish... and today both dogs found the brand new bedspread appealing. At least they were out of our way.
In this photo the dogs are both watching Anna grumble at me because somehow my... making mess and dragging stuff out of her room has made the commercial tv channels not work and she wanted to watch something... and the colour has gone. I have stuffed up our cable channel thing much worse - it shows Saturdays channels at 8.30 pm now... completely not intune with whatever I am watching. I should ring them and ask what I did. But... it seems to take me ages to figure out that Queer Eye isnt Rex's fishing adventures anyway? I think once I have finished the painting and decorating... the cable and wires and power point problems will be pretty horrendous.

She also quite rightfully pointed out I tend to start projects and never finish them. HOWEVER... there are reasons for that. I havent found the right tiles for the mosaic lizard yet; I havent found the right handles for the kitchen cupboard yet; I need to "find" more oddshaped concrete for the back pathway and the passionfruit simply isn't growing as fast as my imagination had envisaged to give the screen I promised her from the neighbours. She is probably right in that as I looked for the new handles.. in the op shop I ended up dragging more old furniture that cant fit in the house home anyway.

Anyway her room is going to be gorgeous! AND the dogs can tell.. they look very pleased with the bedspread choice. And I painted half the bed already. If you cant tell... my flowers are meant to be cherry blossoms. I didn't get to finish painting the yellow stamens BECAUSE she insisted I had to put the bed back together the same day MOTH and I had stripped the old paint, given it two coats of "sand" and painted the flowers on it. When I tried to take the bedhead out.. she told me I had to wait till the weekend or when she is at school. When she is at school I am at work most of the time. Midnight suits me better to do this stuff.




DOGS however do not mind if I want to use a heat gun or sander at midnight. Dogs think the bargain bedspread you buy is perfectly good. Dogs do not give a crap if you accidently mess up the wires to the television. You can yell at or even smack the dogs... and within SECONDS they will be asking you to cuddle them or play ball (my dogs only play indoor ball - they wont play ball outside). Dogs do not care if you make jokes about condoms on bedheads in front of their freinds. And dogs certainly do not care if the furniture is second hand.

There are many reasons to love dogs.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Dogs can embarrass you too

I had to bail Rocky the wonderdog out of the local pound today. $147 it cost me. Rocky has been pissing a new neighbour off. The new neighbour is ... slightly stupid... and has been accosted with Rocky playing "troll of the street" before. Rocky rushed out to bail up her walking her dog past our front yard. As Christian held Rocky down to let the pass... the woman INSTEAD chose to stay and check out her dog for injuries still on the nature strip in front of our land. For too long... Rocky decided that she and her dog had breached his territory and he continues to carry on even when he is behind our fence if these particular couple are near. When she takes her dogs over to the railway yard to defecate... Rocky gets very annoyed.
Rocky has always played "troll of the street". Sometimes he has played "troll of the bridge" three doors up too... letting no one pass. The neighbourhood knows Rocky and either people complain to me and I lock him up - or they deal with Rocky themselves.

If Rocky was human we would all hate him. He is your typical bully. I tie him to the front porch with his chain just short of the mailman. The mailman approaches and Rocky and the little dogs next door bark their heads off in total macho toughness. And then the postie reaches over and pats Rocky on the head and Rocky ALWAYS looks back at the house ashamed to see if I saw. One local lady who walks everywhere told me she carries chocolates just for Rocky. The bully bastard.


The little dogs next door are lovely yappers. They tell us all if anyone is near. My dogs... are inconsistent. They bark .. when/if they feel like the game.

We recently put a 8 foot fence around the entire yard... to combat the complaints from the woman up the road. Other neighbours where bemused... it has never worried us before that Rocky sleeps on the bridge and strolls the neighbourhood. Rocky will be four on the 25th May next year. He walks to the pet shop up the road and gets a free pigs ear. He walks to the IGA supermarket... sometimes they ring me and tell me he is there. He also occasionally disappears for lengths of time .... and annoys local owners of pure bred bitches. It is more than once another particular woman has yelled at me over the antics of my entire dog. I tried to deny it was him once... and she produced his collar and tags. Bastard dog.

IT SEEMS today that Rocky jumped off the back porch ramp onto the boat in the carport and then down onto the ground. Pretty clever really - and clever is one thing my beloved dog .. well you just.. blah he is really not the brightest dog.

Anyway I left for work at 8.25 am and the animal officers had Rocky impounded by 9 am. My neighbour is wasting no time ringing them lately.

So - I get home to the fine notice and instructions on his recovery. I take Anna with me to the pound and she has the camera.


There he is in the cage looking happy as hell... having a jolly good time? And what lovely company he has! The pound is right next door to the sewerage works too - so to Rocky it smells pretty good too. I tell Anna to wait while I deal with the paper work in the office.


And she waits and Rocky does....... a Rocky thing. (WHAT FOOKING IDIOT PUTS AN ENTIRE HORNY ROAMING DOG IN WITH A BITCH ON HEAT FFS?)

One of the animal control officers tries to KICK them apart (I kid you not! in front of me he KICKS Rocky.... resulting in the push-me-pull you effect? Nah sigh that had already occurred) Sigh.



Not only did I hand over the $147 bucks... but I had to wait 30 mins while the dogs.. calmed down. Holding the lead... trying to stay calm telling the officer trying to "help" not too...

For a long time I have advocated desexing Rocky. Believe it or not... Christian STILL doesnt think desexing Rocky is the answer. He is mad at the new neighbour. He doesnt think Rocky would ever willingly jump into the boat. (Duh - the battles on the boat ramp would be entirely different - there is no WATER in the carport)

And when I try tell Christian how Rocky behaved at BAIL time.. he (rightfully I guess?) says "What kind of sickos are you two taking pictures of it?"

Really there wasnt a terrible lot else to do at the time. And I did say to Anna - "Why didnt you stop him?" and she looked at me as if I was insane.. and said... "And HOW WOULD I DO THAT MUM?" Good point.

Anyway... it was no punishment for Rocky. Two car rides - one in a strangers car, a great place to stay with a wonderful smell, a pretty female companion,other dogs to play macho too (through a fence..safe too) food and water on hand AND FREE SEX.

Dotti - the other wonderdog - sniffed him and attacked him as he walked in the door. He even smiled all threw me bathing him. The bastard.