Hump Day blog

In the past I have had to write some extremely boring stuff. I mean boring stuff. Policy and Procedure, funding applications, letters from hell,Reports on the same old same old same old selection criterias etc. Mind numbing boring crap. It can be incredibly painful. And you have to do it because either your being paid to do it, or you promised you would help out or your helping a friend...... and hell... painful - I have given birth and had teeth taken out. I can do painful.


A girlfriend once taught me to write two - one a send up of whatever you are doing and the other the real one. It works wonderful when your doing a PowerPoint presentation or something like that. You find the real pictures of the committee members.. mess with them a bit... and completely send it up. Set the music to "who let the dogs out" or similar. (If anyone has a copy of Tex Morton's "Old Blue" I am so eager to get it) You MUST remember to delete them after you get the real one finished. But it is so much easier to write the boring stuff! You spend 15 minutes laughing at your funny one... and then you seem to know where the introduction etc goes into your real one. Trust me - you put pink fluffy slippers, comic balloons and cans of beer all over the floor next to the committee members and the words will just flow.

I always delete quickly the funny ones because I am too scared of the wrong person seeing my funny one. SOOOOOOOOOO many people in my life just don't have a sense of humour.

But anyway, Monday I rocked up to Women's Health and looking productive started glancing at the emails... and I found this wonderful gem in a PDF file to enhance community groups........ and the CEO had written this double entrende;-

"A good board member doesn't have to put his/her hand up for every
necessary chore - that way lies burnout. But they must be prepared
either to volunteer themselves or to finger someone else."

I am SURE she just used her WRONG one. And the only person who giggled... I suspect only giggled 'cause she is my friend. Anyone else I showed did the.. eyes roll backwards, step back and fake smile and quickly exit thingo. (Oh maybe it is just ME!)

The rest of this week I am at my new "real" job. Scarey stuff really. The school girl in me just won't DIE dammit. I am always the daggiest one. I always find toothpaste or peanut butter where it shouldn't be on my person as soon as I sit at my desk. Everyone else is always so glamorous and sophisticated. I am using my "covered in dog hair is the new black" face. I always laugh at inappropriate moments. I am always caught upside down under my computer wondering how hard it would be to open my tower with my nail thingo. I will always decide fiddling with my bellybutton or fly on my pants is an interesting thing to do for a break from the computer screen.

The UPSIDE is the money isn't bad and the work isn't hard. The downside is I get bored and - when I volunteer if someone asks me to do something and I don't want to... I just DON'T. Paid work and I realised I had to agree to go back into the 475 labels for files I had just made and bold all the fooking file numbers. I refrained from saying... the reason why this crap is being filed is cause NO ONE NEEDS IT ANYMORE.

The job is completely out of my recent realm. I don't know the answers, the best point of referral and man is my maths bad. I barely feel as if I am helping anyone. Some people are nice to me and claim I am. I am still not really sure what we even DO at our work. I know everyone is always heads down bum up working and no one says "poo". NEVER does anyone break into song and starts the "Hey roll me over, lend me an ear" stuff.

I had terrible trouble remembering how to use Word for maths formulas and ended up copying and pasting any time any maths was needed. Engineers use a lot of maths. Sigh. I had to come home to Anna and say... quick show me how to do this. She said something like "You show me a Mummy who remembers to clean our school uniforms so we don't have to put them in the dryer 30 minutes before school." I put my sockettes in her fish tank.

Then I worried the fish would die - so I pulled them back out again. It is the thought that counts. The dryer died this afternoon too. Double sigh.

My girlfriend Robyn is in Rockhampton this week. Part of me can't wait to see her. The good Mel in me tells me I so must not muck up this week. My normal fook ups are bad enough. I so don't need to be going into work holding an icepack to my head or worse still singing. Or calling in "gone fishing".

Read Jellyfish's blog on the leech ... hahahahaha... It is kinda sad my kids are older now and she won't be their educator. (I had the Julie Longdon's and man was I lucky)But I read that post and thought... I so can't say that in the past.. that so would of been any of my kids. If anything dreadful was gunna happen my kids would ALWAYS do it. (Julie would of stuck the leech in a bottle.. taught the kids about it... and made me take it home on Friday with a talk about it was appropriate for me not to encourage the children to play with stuff they find and don't know stuff about)

For the record I didn't encourage them.. I probably found it first.

Oh what a week. Cheerio.

Guess what.. more fishing posts!

Yes - we went fishing today. I guess we could be the most consistently boring people in Australia.

Me- What will we do today?

Him - We could play adult games all day?

Me - No, sorry that ones not possible today.

Him - We could go fishing?

Me - What a splendid idea!We should take one of the dogs!

Oh well... it doesn't take a terrible lot to amuse me. Rocky was absolutely terrified. He despises water. (Except to drink out of the toilet bowl of course) He pointed at the land and told us in no uncertain terms he wasn't very happy to be there. At the boat ramp Christian had to carry him down the muddy slippery slope and I had to hold on to him until we got away from the bank.

He was however amused when we caught the puffer fish. (Or any fish.. he likes that bit) Ok so the pictures blurry - I so always miss the good photos or make them blurry? I need a new digital camera that can not only take the picture when I hit the button... but also adjust for whatever shakes are affecting me at the time.Pretty amazing critters huh?
Anyway - we are coming around the corner of our little creek and who do we come across - our neighbours Paul (human) and Moose (dog)! It is possible Moose is Rocky's father. There is also the possibility Digger or another dog is Rocky's father. Mongrel dogs in this area all look kinda similar. Rocky and Moose don't like each other at all. Both dogs raise their hackles and act tough. Both dogs are completely aware there is water between them and so no actual fight can happen. I am thinking a moat around our houses could be a very good idea.
We caught enough summer whiting for dinner. I took a picture of them before I steamed them but I was so hungry I forgot to take another picture when they were cooked. Anyways, they were delicious.

Saturday waffles....

We did the usual at William's soccer. The boys lost 2/3 - however a valiant try and they were all wonderful as usual.

Some friends of mine bought me a new fishing rod! It is odd when you receive an act of kindness and generosity like that. I so shouldn't of whinged so badly the last time our rods were all stolen! I almost wanted to cry - but I certainly didn't want to hug. And I never know what to say other than "thank you, you shouldn't of". And of course they shouldn't have. But I am looking forward to using it. It is a long beach rod - so today I didn't take it.
We took the boat along the Calliope river today and mostly fished near the railway bridges and along the rocks. The tide was low - the birds lovely to watch - and I forgot I had to recharge the batteries again for my camera. Sigh - better luck tomorrow.
We caught stacks of tiddlers, all released of course - only one left with a piercing....and a flathead, one good sized bream and whiting. Mostly I just enjoyed the views.

I am charging the batteries tonight so tomorrow I can take lots of pictures.

Cheerio!

They took the site down! There went my stalking career!

The site had that many hits and that many COMPLAINTS. (Must remember the more boring/insecure friends of mine in future!) If your looking to buy a site that generates heaps of clicks... ya best speak to that server!

I think it is a shame. We quite happily stick our name in the white pages. I reckon ya only need a silent number if your in a profession that means your likely to attract the attention of people when you dont want to. Or if your the kind of person who regularly attracts enemies. Or your a criminal.

I had forgotten half my neighbours names. That helped heaps - thank heavens I printed my street out! When Christian's work has to pull up pipes and services that affect more than just the block they are doing - there saves all his "Mr & Mrs Cranky"'s. (He actually calls them things like that when he tells me the stories)They can of course pay heaps to get that information - but they dont dont always have too. So the next time your neighbour gets some excavation work done... and you find you have no water/power/phone for that few hours... remember had that site been on you could of been warned.




I will remember half my friends and family are not to be shared any useful information with (It cant be this blog it gets fook all traffic anyway!)

Get to know your neighbours?

There you go!

The next time your neighbour's teenage son pisses you off with his drum kit? Or you want to crash a party maybe? Or the latent stalker in you?

Just put your street name and postcode in the variables - leave the rest blank. Great for the invitations for the street Christmas party too!

In case you didn't see the link - I will put it here.

The wonderful, good,bad or boring and the ultimate in ugly!

I do love blogging - both reading and writing. Some blogs are so amazingly funny, so real - so - oh I can feel what he/she means? Some informative. Some have fantastic pictures. I always love the ones who have cats and children who are almost always good. The ones who have art projects and finish them threw!

But Anna's blog was poignant in that when she went to find blogs of her own that I hadn't pointed her too .. all she found was crap. I found some hideous crap tonight. And it is ironic how something so pleasurable can become so miserable? I did think of pasting the wankers link here to.. highlight it? ... but then again the person is so now worthy? But the real comment that irked me ... was... urghhh no I just read more of the dribble. Some people are just horrible.

That is just life. You are not going to avoid them at 7 1/2 yrs, 15, 25, 35, 45, 55 etc. No matter how hard you try. Always dreadful fookers are gunna come out and invade your space. Or say or do something that is going to make your head reel... your eyes roll and your wholde self become tense. As far as I can see it the best way to .. avoid it? is to just associate with the ones you know you prefer. And the rest of the time watch the clock.. it wont be all that long till we get home.

And anytime you see some dickhead condone rape of a 16 year old because their parents had cannibis on the premises........ dont get upset about it? ahh bugga.

K - I have to be up early and its late again.

Happy Birthday My sweet William

And - a flower he isn't. Dirt however would be appropriate!

Twelve years old today. M & KW and I celebrated with the kids with pizza, thai fish cakes, spring rolls and scotch. Well no - the kids had pepsi or some other ghastly thing.

I did the weak mother thing again. He said.."Can I stay home today?" I said... "No William this afternoon you have soccer training and you are not sick." He said "Anna got to stay home on her birthday."

Anna said... "For gods sake mum on your birthday at school everyone just PUNCHES you." I said... surely not. They both stared at me like I was a curious antique. For the life of me I cannot remember the arguement Anna gave me on her birthday. I really hope it was on similar lines. Once when I was a kid I decided the thing every kid needed was at least uniformity. (I had just read "A Long way from Verona" when I decided that.) At least at home - you should know what will happen next. Of course... the book was fiction. Nevermind.

Gunna be an interesting note I write tomorrow morning. Especially after 7 hours of playing the new soccer monopoly (for the life of me I do not remember Monopoly being such a noisy heated game?) and William finally retired to bed... and said.. "Mum can you write me a note too for not doing my homework because it was my birthday?" arghhhhh "You didn't tell me you had homework!"

Soccer training was cancelled due to wet weather. So all the kids arrived somewhat early.. and M helped me prepare the last of the food. That was amazingly pleasant. Eight children bouncing off the walls.. but still pleasant.

We did take photos and we did ... all of that. But I havent recharged any batteries in the house and ... it will have to wait. And yes the dogs were horrid to the smaller children. Dotti had to be chained up for pouncing on pizza already in small peoples mouths.

It is nice now they are all asleep. I am thinking of a darker more horrible time many years ago......... when this was never going to happen? I really think we have survived well.. considering. Happy Birthday to A tomorrow and Rocky on Thursday.... maybe we can have another party. We certainly have enough food left over.

Cheers to beautiful boys.

My baby is blogging!

Isn't that exciting! Normally when I read her stuff I find funny or interesting or thought provoking - she rolls her eyes at me! But no - she read's stephs blog - roars laughing (I was kinda shocked she even found the dildo's in the shoe bag so amusing? eek - she NEVER laughs at ANY of my jokes about sex! I wasnt even aware she KNEW WHAT A DILDO WAS!) And I don't want her to be so amused by Steph... outta pure jealousy! Little "Miss-Bling?!" didnt think it funny at all the time I put the bag of ice in the cupboard and the wine in the freezer. Why is it funny when Steph does it and not me? (Could it be that she had to help me clean that dreadful mess up?)

And I am a newbie blogger with Blogger. I was using msn space. Obsessive? Ok so some days I say "quiet I am checking to see if Ms Fits has finished questions and answers?". I confess to getting all choked up at some blog posts. I roar laughing at some blogs. I peer for ages at the photos on other blogs. If I am reading an interesting blog I get the same annoyance as if I were reading a book.......... something the kids are perfectly used to.

Little "Miss_Bling" once wrote a msn space blog. I criticised the spelling and grammar and she deleted it. And never wrote anything again in it. I did that with Jane too. She is at boarding school and she used to email me with crap like.... "wazzuuuuuup Mum how u doing i am grate" and it would annoy me. I complained... many times... (cutting a long story short) and she stopped emailing me ALTOGETHER. Except this week when she is annoyed I no longer email her. You cant win as a mother... best dont try.

Little "Miss-Bling" made me promise not to ground her for anything that goes on her blog. Convincing she is.

Save Nazanin

I just nicked this from tigtog's blog. There is no way I am gunna comment on that tonight. I would need to search around for better swear words. But hell yeah... what horrid bullshit.

(I am so hoping tomorrow I can Google this and find its a hoax?)

Yabbies and fishing

These are the yabbies we use as bait for fishing here. (Look at Christian's hands! Lol) Anyways, at low tide you go to the yabby banks and pump the sand out... squirt it out and pick up the critters. I am not very good at this part of it. They have a claw and they bite. I squeal and ... am generally not taken unless there is absolutely not one other soul on earth willing to help. I am not even good at just holding the torch still. (Idiot people that put those stupid crocodile warning signs at the boat ramps!)Christian likes my company for fishing - but not for catching bait. I whinge it's cold and I whinge it is dark. But generally, catch these on the Friday after work (tide complying - you can only get them at low tide)and you have live bait for the weekend that isn't stinky - but on the downside can bite you.

When you see holes like this you know you can pump for yabbies. We sometimes remember to aerate the water when we are at home - but mostly we just make sure the water is changed a few times a day. The beach is a short walk and a shorter drive away and there is plenty of water!

So today we went fishing at Wild Cattle creek. We only caught tiddlers. But - floating along the creek is a lovely way to spend an afternoon.

I will bait my own hook with anything dead... but not live yabbies. The cut they make is similar to a paper cut. It doesn't seem to bother Christian at all - but I simply will not touch them.

At the mouth of the creek we admired the surf kites.So - basically we just had a lovely afternoon on the water admiring the scenery!

Senator Julian McGauran is an asshole

The anti-abortion politician should be feeling really happy with his ratfacedasswipedickhead self. I reiterate Pavlov's Cat's concern for the mother, the family, the friends, the doctors, the nurses and yes the community.

The unnecessary stress on other people affected by dwarfism? How they - due to their love of the people they know - will feel compelled to defend this ghastly Senator's actions. Just all round unneccessary pain.

One woman's private and personal and most dreadful decision. (I have had four terminations for the record.. I would of been 27 with 8 kids without them - judge all you like contraceptive simply didn't work for me - and believe it or not I had trouble convincing doctors to put those little bands on my fallopian tubes)

I EVEN had the condescending "But your young and attractive and now single - what if you meet another man?" line.

It takes a really special kind of woman to be able to handle a child with a disability/deformity.

I always wanted a son. So - naturally I had three gorgeous girls first. My son has a very mild.... condition? Nah - let's be honest the damn thing is a deformity. Some things are too hard to pussy foot around.

William has hereditary multiple extoses. It is all a hell of a long story - and I will tell it one day. I am bored at retelling it because I have almost spent 12 years .. hashing (boring?) it with family and friends.

Digressing - as I said - this is condition that is very mild. He is simply lumpy and very small. It is a horrid condition because even the most casual GP you go to with - say he has the flu? Will suddenly call in his colleagues to view the tumours. I usually just avoid Doctors now. When William was five the Doctor's removed one tumour from his left wrist. I felt like it was all a bit of a freak show... so many curious onlooking Doctors. They removed it.. said at the post op - woops we accidently shortened his ulna. They asked me to consider an artificial implant to correct this. I was a bit.. beaten about emotionally? so I said I would go home and think. It took me a few months to think..and by that time the fooking tumour was back just as large as it ever was. Let's not even go to how it is now.

BUT - even with this MILD condition - I am so often forced to deal with situations I don't want to. The queries. And they are innocent - people don't know I don't feel like discussing it with them. The urge to snap "fuck off" is sometimes very hard to control. At soccer (and frankly William plays VERY well) and the spectators who are not aware I am his mother standing near them - and the comments... "What are they thinking letting that little fellow out there with all those big kids?" And I do feel a crushing guilt... am I doing the wrong thing - should I stop him from doing what he loves the MOST? Or should I turn around and say - well his use of the ball just flat assed your giant son/grandson/nephew etc? (It is ok - I dont I just try not to shake and keep telling myself it is all going to be fine)

Anna said even the physiotherapist she has observed for the past week - was intrigued and fascinated with William's condition. She told me at lunch that she really didnt know very much about it all because I won't normally discuss it in any sensible state. Anna seems to respect the man - and she isn't a bad judge of character usually - and she says he said to bring William to him if ever he suffers pain. William doesn't tell me about pain. He tell's me we are out of peanut butter and who scored the winning goal at lunch time.

It isn't easy being the parent of a child who is "perfect". It is damn hard work being the parent of a disabled person. I advocate the right of a disabled person to the same rights as us. I truly do. But I would never advocate that we can't DECIDE what to do if it (what that mother decided) happens to us.

Remember - William's condition is simply lumpiness, shortness and sometimes an impediment of movement. He doesnt fit your "disabled" category. In any way shape of form. I am simply trying to express how hard it is with something mild - when it is someone you love.

That mother would know herself. Some jumped up ass politician shouldn't be allowed to cause more pain for her. She has had enough. Hell her future perfect children are going to give her enough pain and suffering! And thank God/Dog for Doctor's who actually listen to their patients.

Can be a fooking cruel world sometimes.

That is why we feed ducks.

Amen? (Did I forget to say Senator Julian McGauran is a complete asshole?)

Wednesday Waffle

Every day this week Anna and I have had lunch at the Marina with the seagulls so she can tell me her most profound observations and - oh ok I just love feeding birds HER lunch! Today's lunch from DJ's cafe was particularly dismal so the birds got quite a bit. It isn't that I expect a lot - it is just it pisses me off that I KNOW the same amount of money spent with my cooking would of been a hell of a lot tastier. Who ever started the stupid practice of putting grated carrot on burgers was a bloody idiot.

Oh - but mind you - if you ever are stuck in Gladstone and have to eat? The Green Pepper Cafe in Goondoon street - Trish (she also owns a great dane which of course makes her a very lovely person) makes the most devine wonderful lasagne THAT HAS GRATED CARROT IN IT! I remember the first time I had it ... I NEVER like anyone elses lasagne but my own - and opening the box and seeing the dreaded grated carrot. I was so disappointed - I was starving. I think she only cooks it on Fridays. But oh man... it is so so good. The serve is enough for two or three people... but in true "upsize this" style.... I always manage all of it. Sigh. Hey - two days till Friday! As you can see I cannot get a Great Dane myself until we move and have more room for sofas (nevermind the fact Christian would probably leave me) and it is actually ILLEGAL in this dog hating town to own more than two dogs.
Yes Humans sit on the floor sometimes. Alright most of the time. I bought bean bags once to stop that practice but the dogs chewed them up. Full on Christmas snow scene in the living room when I returned home from work one day. That was over two years ago - and still when I empty the guts of the vacuum cleaner those little white balls are there. One of my many oh shit moments.

Now for something funny. Look at this. You just have to love part 2 question 4. (d)! And part 3 question 4! OH man! J found that last night as we scrolled threw the delicious blogs.... and this morning - what a coincidence! Rex Hunt had to confess to all his sins holding his wifes hand after years of critising every other wrongdoing man in Australia. Poor bugga... or stupid bugga? Actually I don't really care about Rex's sex life - felt for his wife ....No... was cross at his wife for her ability to ,,, be so nice about it? But like she said.. she had seen far greater sadness in her life. (There you go the size of a man's BOAT doesn't matter!?) Everyone is capeable of stupidity and cruelty. It is just the rest of the stupid bugga's don't get to make money out of it. Or probably even better - don't have to tell everyone like that. (having being both the cheater and the cheatee...... ok.. another time!) Anyway.. onya Rexy... I still think you are great fun to watch. Although the one time enough I was stupid enough to copy you with the fish kissing crap - it bit my lip hard.

I like the tv show "Thank God Your Here" on channel 7 Wednesday nights. I agree with my aunt that it would be a good fun party game.

I forgot all about William's soccer game after school today for his school. Last night at training for his club game his soccer boots sole with the tag thingies FELL OFF. And when he got home to KW, M and me and all the kids eating pizza and chicken nibblies and drinking.. very assorted wines (the adults not the kids!)... SOMEHOW I managed to forget all about it. We have an almost ritual. The kids go to soccer, us Mum's cook or buy food - and they come back here after the little kids training is finished...and the two older William and Billy walk home together at the end of their session. The club is very close to home and it is a ..the boys are 12 and 11 at 6.30pm they are trusted to walk home alone. Together. Only together. And my dogs are left on the verandah. And both boys have been instructed to yell loudly if anyone stange approaches them. I am only a slightly neurotic mother. Honestly.

I decided to do go to a management meeting and something else that probably would of involved sweating - and Anna was going to come with me.. and William was going to come shopping with us so we could fix his shoe problems........so when he got home and said.. "Mum we gotta go to soccer now!"... when I thought I had at least an hour to spare......... mad chaos reigned again.

It has only been 20 years of mad chaos so I can do this. I tell William get his shin pads, the soccer socks and his water bottle. I consider the girlfriend I said I would go to the meeting and sweating thing and realise she isn't contactable now. The priority is William's soccer boots. I yell to William we have to go buy soccer boots first. I find him in the front yard with bare feet playing in the dirt. Fooking fantastic. Once again he is going to be presenting his foot to a sales person covered in dirt.... I can TELL by his facial expression and body language he has NO IDEA why I am mad at him. None whatsoever.

We can leave out my embarrassment at the dirty feet at the sports store. All other mother's will understand that.We got the shoes. I am never going to that shop again. And the sales woman was lovely. It is just the shame.

I get William to soccer just in the nick of time. I still have to get Anna from her work experience and to the mall to get what she needs. And I still need dinner. And Anna can't make up her mind at the mall. And I can't make up my mind at the supermarket. And its getting dreadful close to the end of William's game I swore I would watch some of.

Yep - i missed it all.

And worse - William volunteered ME to wash the bloody shirts. He is standing there with his bag and this huge ass bag of dirty shirts! I said to Anna "Oh, he didnt!"

What was he thinking? I told him he was having steamed broccoli for dinner. Nothing else. Once again I didnt follow threw with my threat. I so should carry out my threats.

You probably get stoned to death for bad laundry management for soccer things. I don't know. I am not entirely sure we even OWN an iron. I do know EVIL CHIT happens in our laundry. Things can go in clean and come out not wearable. We don't have to mention socks. The tangled things I have put straight in the bin on a bad day.

Righto.. I am still kinda sane. See - I can stand up straight and... I haven't thrown anything. I remember tomorrow is Thursday. I can do Thursdays.

Go on - admit it! You watched it and you loved it!

Remember the A-Team? You do, dont you? You just won't admit you watched it. I know you did. Well - read this.

Last night I complained I had no reality show to watch and today they announce THAT. (I found that on a link in jellyfish's blog - and that was a funny blog anyway!)

I have friends who LOVE to watch Dr Phil. I have to be in a particularly nasty mood to watch it and I have a feeling my method of watching it isn't what the Dr Phil thing is meant to be about. I certainly couldn't watch it with my friends who love him - I kinda like my friends and dont need them to know the nasty side of me.

I reckon this show will be a riot! I can't wait - I need it now. There is positively nothing for me to watch on tv at 7pm. I can't get cable tv - I AM going to move (I have been saying that for three+ years now) and so I can't sign any contracts. Anyway, when we had cable tv in Brisbane it used to really mess me up. I would watch the Bears or Lions or Tigers (oh my!) at say 7pm, but the clock in my messed up head would see that it was going to be shown again at 3 am - and I just automatically wake up then in time to watch it again. I have enough problems with sleep patterns.

A twisted nasty cow freind suggested I attend the gym classes over the road that seem to occur around then. At 7 pm I have just finished serving my family dinner, oversaw homework, pretended to have listened to my partners day, worked either at home,at work or volunteered for something,probably played, walked the dogs (ok so we drive they walk/run mostly)done laundry (something I will never stop hating)and am at least on my second glass of wine. I WANT to laugh at some other silly sod - not go to a gym and show my absolute unco-ordination in front of a room of beautiful looking people. SHEESH.

What to do what to do! Righto - time to make afternoon tea for the monsters. Cheerio.

Banning Big Brother 2006

Insipid, boring, vain, NASTY and plain stupid people were the cast requirementsof this years Australian Big Brother. I confess - in the past I have LOVED BB. I have even half filled a shopping trolley at Bi-Lo and then realised it was 5 minutes to 7 and I couldn't miss the antics of Sarah-Marie and ... yes.. I ran out on it and drove home without ANY shopping. (Daughter No 2 is working at a supermarket and I KNOW she will rouse on me for my terrible deed)

There is none of the ... likeable characters that keep you watching. The Reggie's, Chrissie's, Sarah-Marie's, Tim's, Trevor's, Frisey's(?sp)- I am gunna regret missing ones I forgot that I liked. These were people you watched and thought - you would be perfect as a friend of mine? Hell with Reggie and Chrissie I was in a terrible dilemma... I couldnt possibly chose between them?

I ended up reading Tim's blog and telling Christian to change the channel. I cooked the dogs some sausages. I watched some lovely bloke who came from a family of ten kids and his mum a sole parent on ABC talk about surviving poverty in Australia.

Tim's blog attracts the most horrid argumentative people. If your really bored read it... and it is ok.. dont call the men in white jackets I only skimmed it for the really funny abusive comments.

I particularly liked "Go impersonate a pothole moron" and "nippleperiodarsemunchtamponbrain" or ok you gotta love this one "We are both still waiting for you to get that brain bypass corrected."

Good stuff hey? (This is all in the comments section - read the one on Anzac Day - I couldnt possibly post THEM)

Here is William and Dotti. Isn't that a lovely picture? Note her lovely love heart nose?




The dogs love to run up to QAL lookout hill.




Look at all that happiness. Yes we drive - they run. You try walk these bugga's. The DONT CARE about the choker chain.

Anna started her work experience today for school at the physiotherapy and fitness centre in town. I woke her at about 6.40am to get ready and crawled back into bed. Seconds later she was screaming "Compton-ass-terry is dead". That is what she named the fish she bought last week that was swimming upside down in the Pet Store! I did point out it wasnt going to live. My little drama queen gave grief worthy of a lifetime friend.Compton-ass-terry was mourned with great tragedy. When I said.. "just flush it" her tirade meant I had to hold the pillows over my head.

Twitch survives Compton-ass-terry. Apparantly good mother's would of got up and helped with the flushing. So much to learn as a mother. I took Anna some spaghetti bol at lunch time and we drove to the Marina to eat it. She described her day to me. The dolphins were not about - but the seagulls amused us. She really seems to be keen on this stuff with sport and training and injuries. And that is lovely.

Once again the happy Mummy. Why happy? Because she does always give so much of herself to doing the right thing - she loves her job (albiet the money, she participates ENOUGH at school - gets good marks - pisses off the occasional teacher... can always make me understand her... always. When she hurts because someone or something lets her down.. I hurt. I can know she is wrong but I will still stand up for her? She could probably commit crimes and I would understand - the best thing is she wouldnt. She is damn funny. She is caring and compassionate. But she won't suffer no shit. Not even mine.

I have a few girlfriends who have equally beautiful kids. Sadly their girls are tall.. and my Anna... isnt. Anna is just louder than the tall beauties. But to love their optimism and their dreams (or the dreams I hold for them?) and their... enthusiasm........... and golly gosh pure gorgeousness? (I suffer from terrible gushiness sometimes) Anna has to use her brains. And I have no doubt she will!

I wanted to blog about a mother's day treat last night but I will ask permission from the friend first. But it is just magic stuff seeing our kids do.. extra ordinary stuff.

Mother's Day

William and Christian went fishing again at sparrowfart - and William caught me this beauty on his brand new rod and reel in the Calliope River. That is a suitable Mother's Day feast! Christian had to make do with one legal sized whiting - and was duly teased by William for the rest of the fishing expedition.

Due to the flu and the urgency of not sniffling and hacking at the new job - I remained home and stared at started the housework.


The trusty old EF Ford Falcon had a milestone itself this week. This morning it has driven to Tannum Sands to catch the yabbies for bait (I forgot to get a picture of them) and back - and then towed the boat to the ramp for the boys expedition of the Calliope River. Christian is most impressed with both the Ford and the boat - and I could tell as I told him how I had accomplished minor achievements with HTML on this thing - that HE TOO IGNORES ME when I talk about things that bore him.

Sara has texted messaged me - she sent us all presents last week in a big post box. Sara and Anna are both working for Mother's day.


William played soccer yesterday and soon afterwards Christian and he went looking for yabbies to no avail. That is where Christian got the wonderful idea to go to Tannum Sands at 3 am to get them. I still can't believe he will wake me to ask if I want to come to such things! He took Rocky with him - and at almost all the local boat ramps are the crocodile sighting warnings. Wonder's if there could be a hidden meaning in this? Anyway, Christian TAPED a torch to his hat in order to accomplish his mission.

At the boat ramp the DPI inspector inspected the boat for undersize catches and illegal crabbing - and Christian said he told him the name of the fish - that Christian promptly forgot. A few years ago J and kids, B & S (great friends) and our clan went fishing at night time under the powerhouse bridge and there S caught the same kind of fish in the bait cast net. We took it home, looked on the internet to try identify it - got nowhere so we just ate it - and it was quite nice - has brown meat at the top that I wont eat just cause of the colour. But - I am still in the dark as to what it's called.

Anyway - I think it should be cooked now. Cheerio!

The Divinci Code

Ok - this was good to read. I am not the only person who found this book rubbish. I only picked it up because one of my dearest friends was positively RAVING about how wonderful it was bagging catholism etc.... and it facsinated me that a protestant raised English origin but Australian raised woman could give a flying shit about that stuff. So I borrowed it from another friend. My friend who was excited about it has a heart of gold really - she just seems to get .. sidetracked? She seemed to think it was a brilliant intellectual book that somehow confounded (nope that was my perception of her - not the word I am looking for at all) - for Her it elucidated all her beliefs that the Catholic church is evil.

(Dont go there - I think most religion is BOTH evil and good. Far be it for me to ever condemn ANYTHING that someone can use to prop up their existence - and yes I am guilty of snickering at it all... but would hope never with any viciousness)

I couldnt read the damn thing because it was BORING and the pace was too slow and .... it was about the same time I discovered some blogs I found way more amusing to read, started attending art group and when the freind I borrowed it from asked when she could have it back I decided finishing it wasnt a priority. And only a week ago I asked my girlfriend who was so excited about the book in the first place how she found it. She said... she hadnt finished it yet. We are talking MONTHS.

Will we go see or hire the movie? That is the question! Can Tom Hanks make it not dull and slow moving?

Oh - I just noticed you're meant to set the time yourself on this thing. I have not been typing at 1 am lately - mores the pity! One of the things about this new job is that I have to be available pretty much all the time. I dont think first fortnight is the time for me to be refusing to answer telephones due to sitting in a chat room or talking to someone until 3 am and in the course of same have a self inflicted "other" condition. It takes me two coffees just to be able to speak properly on a good morning.On a not so good morning... the morning just wont happen.

I just don't know what I am doing with the editing here yet and am refusing to read instructions again. I will figure it out trial and error.

Right - well I was showing you this dreadful decorating someone did. Look here. At least the rest of the Clifford poo pool house was lovely? These people continued an exceptionally ugly theme ALL OVER! And see the agent call's that a "Neptune" theme? It is a special kind of person that sells real estate. Not a type I wanna hang around with.

I could do a home decorating magazine on what NOT to do! I love looking at home decorating magazines even though I can't decorate at all here because I have more furniture than house - and it's a rental so taking apart the built in wardrobes isn't really an option. I have considered it and stared at them for a long time considering the consequences. If patience is such a virtue how come I don't have my reward yet?

I whinced when I read what I wrote in the "my profile" bit too. Yuck Yuck Yuck. Obviously MOTH (Man of the House) had very recently either pleased me in an adult way or helped one of my girlfriends with something. Must fix that soon. Do remember he is also a terrible slob, snores, is oblivious to anything I do or say unless I either take my clothes off or wear too short a skirts. He thinks bills and savings accounts and any tax or similar stuff is automatically done by some fairy in the sky (but still thinks internet banking is evil and wont allow his own account to use it so instead for the past five years every payday I take ALL his money except his allowance, stick it into my account and THEN use internet banking) He is remarkably human. And like most men he is still a little boy - and he takes his toys seriously. He managed to fit both boats into our single carport last night. Both cars are out in the weather. Go figure. I will get a picture... it was actually quite an accomplishment. I wont do it now - the mosquitoes are just dreadful at the moment.

Oh - I have a wonderful housekeeping trick directly from the Collins/Wright home. When you buy that wonderful decadent ice cream or my favourite - boysenberry ripple frozen yogurt... use the nikko pen and in BIG LETTERS write "dog food" or "vindaloo" on it in big black letters. Guaranteed to last the whole week. Even a five litre tub of generic ice cream in this house cant last more than a day or two. And ALL you have to do is write that on the top! (Anna and Jane I am joking - I don't do this, I love you both and I love sharing with you both.)

William loved his camp. Anna is almost as dreadful as a male when she is sick. She requires constant attention, indulges in non stop whinging and no amount of medication from the supermarket/chemist can console her misery. She STILL puts her used tissues in my handbag when we are out. That just kills me. Ones own snot is bad enough - someone elses is just gut turning. Dry retching at the supermarket aisle when we reach for our purse isnt something we want to do.

Home decorating gone WRONG.

Nearly as good as the Clifford Poo Pool house. In case you have forgotten that I will try stick the pictures on here.

I was meant to use today to catch up on housework and find a little order in our routine.

Fat chance - this is after all MY life.

William went on "camp" today. He was most excited - however this "camp" is an overnighter in the nearby town of Tannum Sands. Last night when we examined the gear he needed - I saw the state of his only sneakers. They are more holes than sneakers. "Why didn't you tell me you needed new shoes?" The answer "I didn't know." Oh yeah, your so not going to notice what goes on your feet five days a week.

Jane used one of our sleeping bags for her school camp in first term - and forgot to bring it back from boarding school in the holidays. However I couldn't find ANY sleeping bags at all. I must of put them in a "safe" spot or lent them to someone. At worst I have stored them in a garbage bag and accidently sent them to the Op-shop. That would explain the bag of clothes for the op shop I did find. Blah. William was happy to just take his dooner. He is such a good kid like that - nothing phases him (ok the time I washed his backpack and the 500 pokemon cards did irrate him a little).

I worked yesterday so didnt have time to bake anything for the morning tea I had already committed to bake something for... so William and I had to pull into the shops before meeting the bus to find something that looked appropriate.

When we pulled in to meet the bus, I noticed another mum and a friend of William's and greeted them. I looked at this womans' son in his - oh-so-neatly-ironed clothes and then noticed William's shirt looked like it had lived on the bottom of a closet for a year or two. Then I remembered Anna telling William he looked feral and me yelling at Anna to leave her brother alone. Sigh. Sometimes the kids are right. Then I realised (once again) that mornings are so not me.

When I got home to the flu ridden Anna and told her about it... the smugness on her face said it all.

Anna Meg and I went for lunch at the all you can eat at Tank Street. None of us really ate much. The flu had Anna and I beat and Meg has hay fever. Also while I was chewing on the chilli chicken... I remembered the news story about chinese restaurants like this that wash the left over meat and chuck it in tomorrows meat and it kinda fitted with the chewyness. Then we went shopping for Anna's work experience wardrobe for next week where she is going to be learning at a physiotherapy centre. It takes me about 15 minutes to get bored shopping. So I had to just follow them around for an hour and a half.

I dropped in all the forms for the new job - tax file declaration, confidentiality agreement, internet and email policy acceptance (note to self dont give certain people my work email) and terms and conditions acceptance.

I had to go to two supermarkets just to get the ingredients for chicken soup. Of all my goals I was meant to achieve today - I dropped in the forms and I made bloody good chicken soup. I achieved NOTHING else. While we were out Dotti the wonderdog taught herself the art of stealing tissues from the tissue box. If there is a contest for it - she is a sure thing.

Sara sent a parcel with my Mother's Day present in it. She had somewhat closer timing than I did. Was nice to receive a present. And was nice she was thoughtful and could think of something I could use. I wasnt so... considerate last week myself when I wrongly thought it was Mothers' Day a week early.

I have the flu and maybe i should of read the warnings about the alcohol and the flu drugs. Well - I did but I decided they didnt apply to me.

What an emotional day!

Tasmania's miners finally emerge (albiet amongst all the political hype in that article? Do pollies really think us Aussies BELIEVE they could possibly relate to this stuff? Sigh) Anyway - I love Kochie and Mel's commitment to the story. Ok I just really like Kochie and Mel and even on mornings I dont bother to get up.. I usually watch them with one eye open. Blah I cant find the bit immediately were the miner gave Kochie his check in tag..and told Mel she owed him a hug... but here is the channel seven blurb without the good stuff.

Anyways I cried twice this morning at the tv and again when I got home from work at Channel 10's coverage. Those poor families. Fourteen days stuck 1km underground. And Richard Carltons death at the site? Todd Russell making the funeral of his lost colleague?

Mind you I cry at heaps of stuff.

Anyway - the very next time Christian suggests him doing the generic mine induction course.. I am gunna hit him really HARD. Maybe I do need handcuffs.

It was amazing at work to see the structural engineers distraction too. Every time you walk past their work stations they were on a news site listening or watching the news. I guess it had to run through their minds... THANK F*CK it wasnt a mine they had anything to do with?

One of the nice things about my new job is the amazing people who are environmental engineers or scientists...and how fresh faced and eager they seem? I am really hoping looks are deceiving.... Surely they too dont like to rise at sparrowfart and look at their laundry and feel a pit in their guts same as I do? Surely their perky smiles and pony tails where paid for? A few of them I KNOW their mum ironed their shirts. At least I really hope I know that. I tried to use the stupid iron thing this morning and it took two buttons off my shirt. I wore it anyways. I was so wild with the stupid thing it was wear the shirt or wear no shirt. I decided I do need the money so I wore the shirt. No one commented. Another lucky break.

Tomorrow I can blog I think. Or venture further into the laundry. Or NOT.

Boating Boys

The males of the house are perfectly happy. This morning at sparrowfart off they went on their boating adventure. (I declined the temptation to leave my bed in the dark to go play in the chilly morning with sand flies and mosquitos and offered sexual favours on Christian's safe return - didn't have to do that...they seemed to have had a perfectly good time - Live and Learn!) They came home with stories of what they saw on the islands, the turtles, the fish that were thrown back and the whoppers they missed. The tinny (a 12 foot boat with a five hp motor) has now been launched in 5 local boat ramps and they are eagerly waiting for next weekend so they can explore more.

Anna and I slept in blissfully and we both pretended to clean house a little for a while. We are both ready to ... turn our dogs over to the errant dog people. Well almost.

I went with them this afternoon to Toolooa Bends, and we caught a 38 cm flathead... perfect size... the big ones taste awful! They caught a few whiting this morning. It was a lovely ride in the boat. It wasnt hot and it certainly wasnt cold - our long sleeves were more incase of insects than the weather. Sea Eagles and something large... I missed it but heard it and the boys were amazed with the size of the head.. either a turtle or a dugong they decided.

Let's see how I go posting pictures this time.

Rightio- it is very easy to post two pictures on instead of just one. Nevermind. It should be ages before anyone reads this. I tried reading the edit thing but I spilt my wine and had to get another one and it hardly seemed worth it when I got back here!

I thought tomorrow was Mother's Day. Apparently it is not. Silly me! I imagine Christian's mother and mine are somewhat confused at the thrown in the packet at 5 minutes before closing time Wednesday - I had every intention of driving uptown and chosing more suitable gifts than just the nicest looking chocolates at the supermarket. I have a vague.. niggly feeling that neither women even like chocolate (or is that because I dont like chocolate?)

Bernie and Tara accompanied us to Awoonga dam... wherein the poor buggas where instantly bored senseless. I AM easily amused if you give me beauty and give me a few people I love I am perfectly content. And there is simply something about water that makes me unable to be bored. I will confess I was shocked by Bernie's new found ability at profanity - even though I admit I find reading profanity funny nowdays too. It just seemed so out of character with who I think he is. Is it just the getting older? Why am I so intolerant of constant swearing?

It makes no sense because when my aunt says the c*nt word... I think it is funny. Another member of the family swears and it amuses me too? If someone uses the word constantly I find it... tedious? Christian works in an environment where there is a lot of swearing. Rarely but sometimes he comes home swearing like a trooper... and the kids and I almost hide from him. We dont know who he is. If I swear Christian acts like the sky is falling... even when I have just managed to drop hot fat on my foot trying too cook him the perfect tempura? I dont like Anna saying "freaking" because I know she really means another word.

Of course, my father too me was the most important opinion in the entire universe. He used to tell me.... the use of profanity simply displayed a lack of the ability to use the english language. I would retort just like Anna... "oh fook off".

But there are incredible exceptions to excessiveness. And I can digress when I am .. feeling my way.

I have decided I want an adult blog. I have been waffling in the msn blog for a year and a bit - but I find if I want to read a blog the LAST place to look is the msn blogs... mainly due to the millions of teenagers who post stuff I can't relate to. (There are exceptions to that... occasionally a smart teenager with a sence of humour does turn up - but its just to rare.)

I am hoping I have chosen the right one here... I want to be able to add photos and stuff... Here is William holding the boat at Awoonga this afternoon. (Fingers crossed!) Oh.. wow the picture went there. Ok. Ya learn stuff ALL the time. I have got more I want to waffle about.. its just I want to see what this looks like first! Back soon... and someone should of told me tomorrow was not mothers' day- my mother and Christians' mother are going to think I am a right idiot.