Oh this is wonderful.. big brother blogger!

Ok I just cried laughing? Bevis is so clever with this?


Feral is fantastic? They cant possibly put Msfits in there.. she would be so horrified at the food? And I cant wait to see what Steph will do?

And we thought 2006 BB was... a wash out? This one is fantastic! Like I am not already addicted to enough stuff?

Saved by the Britex?

My two youngest daughters and I went to lunch today at the Yaralla Chinese Restaurant. At first I felt rather... squirmish? in my decision last night to allow Anna's boyfriend to sleep the night rather than walk the streets at night. I do get the "But EVERYONE walks around late at night, Mum" argument. I understand I am being unreasonable and that neither has really done anything to breach my trust in them. They just don't get that it isn't them I have the fear of a breach of trust in?

I tried again to bring up the topic of "SEX" and ....

Anna said.. "Mum - I am not having sex..... when I decide I want to I will tell you"

Me - "Well you don't have to it is after all a private thing.... but is there anything you want to ask me? You can ask me anything you know?"

Anna - "Mum don't you dare start with sex stories now? It is not that big a deal Mum - just dont worry about it... I am going to be fine. I will not get pregnant and I will not have unsafe sex."

Me - "Are you SURE you haven't any questions you want to ask me? I just want you to be safe and happy.."

Jane - "I have questions!"

Anna and me - "No you don't you are too young... shush"

Me - THINKING ... AHHH CRAP NOT HER TOO!

Me - "Well - how did you find sleeping next to Robert? With no sex?"

Anna - "Mum we just slept next to each other! It was all fine .. stop stressing!"

Me - "Well was it like sleeping with the dogs maybe? Nice and cosy - someone to cuddle?"

Anna - "Mum Robert is not a dog. He doesnt have fleas and he stayed on his side all night"

Me - "My dogs don't have fleas.. well often!"

Anna - "I am sooooooooo going to tell Robert you said he has fleas?"

Jane - "Did he kick?"

Me - "Does he fart?"

Anna and Jane - "Mummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

I was just curious.

Anyhoo? I think she got the shits with me trying to open this conversation that I dont really want either. She was such an adorable toddler. Long red hair and porcelain skin and such a sense of what was right and wrong.

So she suggested we go and hire the britex and clean the carpets and the sofas. Our dogs are horrendous.... they dont like water. Recently it rained. And the dogs decided not to utilise outside toilet conveniences and to instead crap in front of the front door or in Williams bedroom. They aren't little dogs. Rather than have wet paws for a short time.. they are quite happy to........ get in trouble for a minute.... Even when you smack or scold them... three minutes later the dogs are on our laps saying .... we love you.. and have completely forgotten why you were mad before.

It was a diplomatic and clever move. The Britex machine is so noisy no further conversation was possible all afternoon. And Anna Jane and I huffed and puffed and ran the machine until late evening.

Oh just Angst.. and not enough gin or scotch!

I have had 30 stories to tell. I mean it.. thirty! Oh ok maybe three.

I wanted to blog the story of yesterdays funeral of little Cricket the dog. And William's misery at the Socceroos demise? And I have worried a little about P - but know Lishy will help her if she can. Of jobs I want but arent meant for? And documents from my current job that.. read like a joke? (It is the only mail i have got all week too!) Of listening to children and thinking,... I should pull them up on that story and then thinking... nah,,, they are only telling me it is safe....

And ME! Losing it completely when Anna returned home late tonight! I made Jane dress with me hurridly,,, I had used the last of my phone credit calling Lishy....on the wrong damn number at first.... and Anna was at least an hour late home. On finding her and Robert I said.. best u both sleep at home than walk the streets late at night. Stepfather and sperm donor are so gunna be wild at me tomorrow! More - really cause she told me she would try get home early. And she has been enjoying busting shoplifters lately and a few have made threats towards her. Her being her means she thinks,,, "My Mum will have your ass..." and really what the hell could I do? I just yell a lot? The kids from next door dont worry about me yelling ONLY because we have a truce agreement we just know from looking at each other. We dont get mad at each other because I understand what they go threw and they understand I am a complete wimp and will always open my door for them. I will yell and be mad.. but I never say no to them. I can no longer go anywhere and not have them call out hello to me. Today... one of the kids little brothers.. I am not sure of his name... sang out to me... Mel - mum said i have nits! We were at the petrol station. I am never sure what I should say back.(He didnt have nits .. I have checked.... he was scratching all over cause of bugs not head lice)

Oh back to the bomb shell. I let Robert sleep over and basically said I would prefer that in future to worrying at night. Have I made a dreadful mistake? Anna said.. oh we can sleep on the sofa bed. I said .. oh no.. dont do that.. I have to talk to your stepfather alone first before he sees the two of you asleep on the sofa. I said.. cant you just sleep top to bottom tonight and let me deal with this tomorrow. Jane started fits of laughter... snorting and farting..... and I realised I had chosen my words ... badly............

I said.. DO NOT SLEEP TOP TO BOTTOM. that was it... everyone was laughing except for William who still wants to kill spanish referees and Italians (I am kidding) Poor Robert is as red as beetroot and Anna recovers to remind me how ghastly I am.............. Anna knew i was going to mention birth control again and........... got really mad at me.

But I am happier knowing they are here. And I will be happier knowing Anna is at his grandparents house. I know them.. the kids are safe there. MY bravado will wear off with the wine. Christian (step father who put in 12 years and all the yakka)and Tom (sperm donor but i suspect he kept everything together for the kids) are going to kill me when they find out I said.. I would rather you two sleep together than wander about at night. I am so up shit creek. But when the headlines of the papers ran threw my head a few hours ago when Anna was not at home... it all felt just fine to me?

I have tried to convince Anna to use birth control. She gets mad at me! I tell her birth contol can fix pimples. She gets madder at me. The time I put condoms in her draw.. she REALLY got mad at me. I am LESS scared of her getting pregnant... THAN i am of some awful person hurting her. I also think she is smart.. and wont let anything hold her back. Especially not me or her family history. Jane and I roared laughing. I am so introuble tomorrow. I am not even worried now about how mad the neighbour will be at the back fence after our loss to Italy.

One more try... work for me blogger

The photos are just so not uploading! Blah

The photo I am trying to post is a picture of the children of us cousins. One of the children.. is my beautiful oldest daughter Sara. What happened at the funeral was just gorgeous and Sara is going to take ages getting over it.

This is how she described it to me.

S - Your dementia affected relatives came to me and said... "Hello Melissa you havent changed a bit."

Me - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SNORT LAFF SNOT SNORT HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH... snot snort hahahahahhahahahahahaa

S - fuck off Mum.

Isn't she just beautiful? I dont even like that picture of Sara. She had her NOSE PIERCED... and I think she seems to be screwing up her face because of it!

Ok I think now we have contact - thank you Blogger. My daughter is the first on the left.

I have had a ghastly time for the past few weeks

.
Oh no! Whinging! Yep I agree dont read this. That was the picture of my Aunts and Uncles taken on Monday at Aunt Nina's funeral. Nine reduced to seven. Friday morning after letting William down a little with the football.... the horrible news that Dora (the oldest) had suffered horrific burns FROM A HEATER? and the family gathers yet again. The photos of the siblings are always taken from oldest to youngest. The handsome (but strangely grey) man second from the right is my father. (My aunts names are Dora Nina Ilma Nita and Lola - my grandmother must of had a terrible sense of humour dont you think? I tried to do the four letters end in a thing too but lost with Jane because her father was so adamant he wanted that name.) It always shocks me to see him as a grey haired man. Odd huh? To me he is still a redhaired man who will race me to anything and leap fences!

I have been so slack. Raising these kids of mine I have... always drawn from what I learnt from my family but at the same time I have neglected being part of my own family. I am just too busy? And I don't do an awful lot? I cook and I clean and I pay bills and I figure out .. things and I.... works sometimes and... well I am an expert taxi driver...IMAGINE if I did actually have a career?

I RUN to be home at 3.10 pm for my son who starts calling for me when he gets to the end of the street. I get shitty with Anna for making me wait in the drop and pick up zone at high school for too long. She does what I did and ignores me COMPLETELY. If I get real mad and get out of the car she does come though. I wonder how career women find time to make soup and birthday cakes. I wonder why my house gets so filthy with countless children and the dogs when really I have plenty of time to clean up after them.

This picture is of my generation... ie; the kids of the aunts and uncles picture who attended Nina's ceremony.I keep pouring over the photos and remembering wonderful things... and sad things.. and .. just things.

I have stayed away for so long... but.. the photos mean the world to me. These people taught me so very much. I bet they dont even know what they taught me. (The bitch in me has to say there IS one I dont care for and think deserves a cunt award.)Ahh maybe I am being cruel. There is so much I dont know. Have to say I think the women in our family dress so nicely. Nina would of loved that. My lovely cousins.

Oh wait I have to post the picture of our generations offspring and then I will have to take that back! Hahahaa... Anna tells me that the boots I found horrid are actually very expensive and very cool. She had her "Oh mum you are just so archaic" face on when I commented on the clothes.

Hmm.. blogger wont let me upload the picture? Have to try again later I guess. But I have spent way more tears and time wasting reminiscing this last few weeks. Earnt a few more grey hairs, wrinkles and wasted a few more brain cells. Revisited smells and emotions and laughter and sadness. Remembered and ... found once again just how gorgeous my kids are and how ... my life partner deserves a medal to put up with me. (I am very lucky.. the only way he knows how to communicate with me is to .. satisfy/amuse me sexually... isnt that ghastly? my world disingegrates and I just... enjoy sex .. a lot... I read some sad persons comment on a wonderful blog today who said their sex life had .. became dull after only 18 months. And I did think... oh you poor fool. Isnt that terribly mean of me?)

More Socceroo fun

Being ,.. well me... I had every intention of getting up at 4.30 am and watching the game with my son. I firmly believe in sharing our kids interests and I make many endeavours to be a good mummy. But it was cold and dark - and only two tvs in our house get SBS reception - and not the tv in our bedroom - so I faked interest in it from my bed. I did berate myself and tell myself to drag my sorry ass up. But sadly it didn't happen and instead William kept running in and waking me from my snoozes to tell me what was happening. His cheering was fantastic even without the slack mummy help!

At 10.30 am the school rang and said William is pale and claims to have a headache. I said... "He is just tired from watching the soccer match!" and went and got him. He didnt even make it to his room - he fell asleep on the sofa telling me he was not tired and that it was a genuine sickness and not from getting up early. There he stayed until after school time.

Read a thoroughly enjoyable book yesterday

Preethi Nair's "One hundred shades of white" is a thoroughly enjoyable read. I adore the intermix of food and family love. (Yep - cooked vindaloo for dinner last night too! Am going to now track down her other books to see if they are just as good.

While at the library this afternoon, I glanced at the dvd "Anita and Me" (which I thoroughly enjoyed regardless of that review) but Jane said "For Goodness sake Mum you already saw it"....

Ok - today is goodbye Nina Nora

I just checked my email and found that gorgeous thing. Thanks Marie - I really thought I had no more tears left to cry this week.

My father and step mother are going. As is my oldest daughter and her paternal aunt. I havent looked at the letters and family tree stuff yet.. I can do that this afternoon. It is already the dreaded Monday.

I dont cry for her. I cry for me. Death is such a stupid selfish thing. I am glad she is no longer in pain and no longer torturing her family with refusing to eat. (Mind You I noticed if they cooked for her she tried... it was just the hospital crap she seemed unable to deal with) Her son's last email before she died,.. had the entry that the particular hospital she was in should only be allowed to do Little Johnnie's Labotomy. (Yes I know my spelling sucks.. it is 5 am...) Of course my lovely cousin had forgotten that this had obviously occured way before ... and maybe at the same hospital.

Its just such a myriad of wonderful memories with a woman I always loved and felt safe with? And EVERY one is more important than the story I have to tell today. Of being a child and being spoken to as if I were an adult - and not the normal ... "run away dear us adults have to talk". Of watching green frogs and smelling roses and feeding the magpies and of understanding the fear of being attacked by butcher birds......
Of humanising your own parents with stories that made sense. Of laughter and safety and love. Of her volunteer work with disabled kids that touched her and my heart. She told me the only reason she ran around an oval three times a week with a disabled kid was because if she didnt she wouldnt exercise. I was 13 and knew she was lying her ass off. And I ADMIRED her for her actions. Her dedication. Her willingness to give.
Once at Hat Head (their holiday house with Aunt Ilma) she stopped me on a bridge and spoke to me about disadvantaged people.... I have a feeling it was Ilma who made the sexual references that confused me for a while about the "raspiness" on the sex on the beach. Dunno but - time blurrs memories.
Tomorrow all my family will gather. One of the "three ugly sisters" will be missing. I wont be there,.... my first born daughter will. They will shriek and be funny, and rude and obnoxious. Thankfully for me the other Aunt I need and love as much as I loved Nina is young and can entertain and inform me for at least another 30 years. I wish I wasnt a coward and did go. I so desperately want to see them and breath them and laugh at their antics. (My Aunts are so mean they take their own food for the animals at the zoo) ((No - wait sometimes they wont enter the zoo and will simply shove the home bought food threw the fence))
Nina could feed families cheaply. I mean cheaply. She had a big strapping handsome husband who adored her (oh poor Dave i cant even imagine that side of it) and no matter what she said he was always at her side. I remember when she first got cancer and she would say ... yesterday it was raining... and he would say.. no it wasnt. And it confused me. (Normally Uncle was meant to just concur) You see it didnt matter if it rained or not. Yep - poetic license runs in our family. His pain was felt that way.
I think she is the only person i ever spoke to about death. I loved the fact she would show me pictures and tell me stories.I never stopped to think she would die. Or that I would be so selfish. What was she thinking with dying? I mean... next time I have to ask a question who is going to know the answer? Lola can only answer so much.
I think I am gunna dribble about this for bit.

Socceroos fall - 2-0

William and I set our alarm to watch the game. It was a great game and Australia played just fine. The more experienced and luckier? Brazil won.

I however LEARNT heaps. William pointed out to me that I only laugh or get excited when someone has either fallen over or committed a football crime. Or miss a goal and I dont seem to be able to differentiate for which team. William says I cheer for the other team just as loudly. It is four am... and I am thinking he has it wrong. Hey - I am new to football I didnt know ... well heaps of stuff. I find it rediculously funny when they crash. I have NO IDEA what the referee is doing. Apparantly William only hears me on the field when something awful is happening and I am laughing? I have to find me a rule book. William said something about just dont laugh so loud.

But I thoroughly enjoyed watching the game. Brazil played in the shirts of yellow and green. So for the first 30 minutes I argued with William they were Australia. Silly me - the black shirts were the Australians? That kind of stuff people should tell me. I assume we are green and gold. I was actually thinking... but it is no longer fashionable for our men to have long hair and pony tails - that was the eighties. I was thinking for a second we are are more multicultural than we think. I of course was thinking that was a good thing.According to William if Australia can just draw Croatia...(we had Bosnian friends... soccer was their WORLD... poor Aussies lol) we stay in the game. I wonder if William wants me to stay up for that game? He spent most of this game sighing and saying... "wait till half time mum and I will tell you!" and "shush" and "Mum that is not funny - stop laughing" At half time I had to pee and stuff! Ok you can probably subsitute the word thinking for drinking. Was kinda fun but.

The pain of last week fades... slowly...

Friday Will had a soccer carnival at Benaraby Primary School.In the back of my mind always was the blue card submission rubbish. Anna came with us, and two other of Will's mates. Benaraby primary school is utterly charming in its beautiful rural setting. Tiny mis-shapen football fields and rickety equally tiny goal posts - and 6 player teams playing 6 games for the days competition.The Mum's from Benaraby primary school put on a wonderful feast in the canteen - meat and salad sandwiches a couple of inches thick for only $2.50 and a piece of cake for 50 cents. Last time we went there - on the oval were grazing roos. This time we were a little late and didn't see them. We did however see this wonderful critter. (Look closely... its a bearded dragon.) I THINK if you click on the pictures you can see them bigger.

Anyways - we found the critter because I saw two girls from a local private school attacking the thing with sticks.(Yeah number 13 and 9) I thought.. what are those kids pelting sticks at..walked closer... saw.... and - yep out came mean Mel and I yelled at them to bugga off etc............ Anna rushed to me and said... "no mum... think of the blue card you can't go around yelling at children today OF ALL DAYS!" Now? Isn't that just rediculous BUT TRUE! I guess nowdays in times gone mad it isn't appropriate for me to yell at strange children for hitting a defenceless creature with sticks. Definately going to have to be another thing I have to work at. (Don't yell at policemen who keep walking in on your naked child and do not yell at children harming animals) It just really strikes me as ..... odd.

I called the kids down from William's class and showed them. The kids were lovely and enjoyed it as much as I did. I told them of the mean girls with the sticks - and for me they acted horrified and displayed what they would do to such mean people - which also involved acts of violence and cruelty. Sigh.

Then my gf rang and said she couldn't print my reference (she can be computer "challenged") - and I organised with another Mum for a ride of my charges home with her.... lucky for me she had been unable to be there for the start and had a completely empty car. I was willing to do the 60 k round trip back - but thankfully another wonderful mother was able to step in.(The world is so full of wonderful mothers!)

Then - after printing, taking a few pictures I had promised her daughter in China! (How exciting is that!) and chatting - off home and then to fax all the horrid bits of paper for the blue card. Naturally I left the camera at gfs. Sigh.

I had to order William to bed rest because he volunteers to play for the under 13's soccer team - the age group above him on a Friday night and he was knackered. Of course he argued with me the entire way to the bedroom. All up in the last week William has played 13 games of football - not including any training.

Anna (with her newfound wealth from her first job) decided to be a treasure and shout take out for dinner. I so appreciated that. (And then I had a minor pc drama that appears to have been a storm in a tea cup - however the wine I consumed helped it become... cyclone similar)

Right so I missed the first half of Williams soccer game with the big boys... on a real sized field... but walked over for the second half with our dog Dotti. (William amongst his own peers is tiny... amongst these blokes its almost terrifying) I tried to sit somewhere and be unnoticed - firstly I didnt feel like company and secondly I wasnt sure you are meant to have dogs there. Sadly Dotti didnt feel like being unnoticed and I spent the next forty minutes madly trying to contol her - she wanted to join the chase for the ball. I dont have to join a gym. I just have to take my dog out more. We were not unnoticed. In between Dotti trying madly to get onto the field she insisted on sitting on the bench next to me and licking my face. Next dog is so never allowed to sit on my lap. Or on chairs. Or at the table. Or in my bed.

Gf rang with yet another pc drama that I talked her threw while watching the game and manhandling the dog. Somedays - just what I do to get threw an evening is amazing. William and I walked home in the cold as he excitedly told me all I had missed in the first half. He fell asleep on the sofa. I threw a blanket over him and left him there. I ran every virus -spyware- adaware programme i could think of... caught up on my reading... (saw that pissed and distraught the night before i had typed utter rubbish on someones blog) chatted to some friends and finally had a little cry... and went to bed. Went to bed KNOWING I could sleep in - because the first soccer game of Saturday wasnt till 11.10 am.

The phone rang at 7am. Go and get daughter no 3 (Jane) from the train station. It is daughter no 2 (Anna) telling me this. I barked at her "you told me Jane said she was going to her fathers!". We have since worked out Jane texted to my phone... that she was going "home" Saturday morning via the train. Anna decided that Jane's home isn't here. Sigh. Too think I always wanted a sister.

Go to the train station to get Jane. There, a small black and tan bitch is tied up to a fence..... and a man is near. I asked if she was his dog. He says no... he just rang the pound as it was running around the station with the lead on. As a dog owner I know ok - it is just a fine for having your dog running around. I also know if your dogs do cop a fine it will be on the worst possible week, and the owner will probably have to beg and borrow to get their dog out. But this dog has no tags. And she is a real cutey. So while William cuddles the dog... I run up and down the street asking anyone if they know where the dog came from. The train comes down and I beckon Jane madly because I have found someone who thinks they know where the dog lives. We deliver the dog to the house....and felt somewhat despondent because the owner didnt seem at all pleased the dog had returned. By now I am almost late for soccer.

Off to soccer and a woman who works for a local care agency sits next to me. Small talk starts and within minutes I am getting annoyed with her. She asks me if there are any other soccer ovals in town and I start naming the ones I know. She asks where is a particular one.. and i say it is behind the retirement village. She says Gladstone doesnt have a retirement village. I assure her Gladstone does. She argues it a bit more. Luckily I remember.. dont argue with idiots..and I just let her talk. I realise soon she gets paid more than me - gets more hours and has the luxury of choice on where she lives. And she doesnt seem to have the need to watch every precious second of every game of the kids. It REALLY could be just me.

Saturday afternoon and Jane and I just catch up on what has been happening with her at boarding school.

And a small incident where I HID from a "friend" .... the third person I asked for a reference and who refused.... and I opted just to........ HIDE? Like a complete coward ... rather than deal with it. She caught me today before I was able to hide. I was cooking Jane lunch. I did think of out the back door and over the fence. But I had my "couch potato" pjs on still (that she bought me from st vinnies)

Maybe that is good. Maybe I am getting over the pain of her refusal to help me. I know she suffers her own pains and her own worries. Today she actually said these words "I must be such a bad person" and I ... managed to not say anything dreadful.

My misery wont end till after tomorrow and the funeral is over. But I asked Christian to take my friend from the senior citz computer classes out ... and they went out this afternoon. Look at what my friend caught. He was so happy with himself. I was wildly jealous.

So Jane is home from school - and William is still soccer mad. And Anna is doing her own thing and always wonderful. I am still hurting but I am healing.Poor Christian just suffers us. And the dogs dont give a damn..so long as they have a sofa or a bed.

All is good.

Can you spot the serial killer or the puter geek?

Thanks to Bob for this. Bob, Christian and I got 7/10. Bertie got 3/10. What did you get?

I did edit it all... and it is all faxed off.

Cheers to the wonderful people who wrote my references for me. They were so lovely I felt ... very... hmm privileged and humble and for a split second I wondered who they were talking about! Anna wrote one for me! And Roxanne wrote me a beautiful submission that completely deleted my waffles and jokes! But I didnt see it till I got home late today. It was way more sensible and less emotive than mine. Too late now the damn thing was faxed half an hour before the deadline. Joy helped me too.

I was too cowardly to ask very many people for a reference and only asked the three women closest to me who knew me from the "incident". Two were just wonderful - but one... a woman I see 5 days a week, cook for her kids at least two days a week, have babysit her kids, pets etc (or my girls have), been her taxi for so many things declined to "get involved'. I reckon I will be declining to do a lot of things from now on. Of course I didnt want to ask anyone IN THE FIRST PLACE. How bloody embarrassing the whole thing is!

Anyway - it is all done. Thanks for the lovelies with the kind words.

Utter humiliation

Submission to Support Blue Card Application

Address the information listed;

The information is almost correct. My partner smoked cannabis. I agree with the part about how when the police raided our home at 8am in the morning I showed them immediately anything connected with it. I completely disagree cannabis was ever used in front of children or anywhere near them. The cannabis was kept in our bedroom and the children were always discouraged from entering our bedroom. I did become “difficult” that morning however – even though I had taken the police officers directly to what they were after they insisted on searching the rest of the house including the bathroom where my 11 year old daughter was in the shower TWICE. I probably shouldn’t of yelled at them. But in hindsight I still would of yelled at them. I didn’t see it necessary for two men to enter the bathroom when my daughter was in the shower. I find it very hard to believe three adult males mistook my… excited (hysterical?) reaction as me “showing no remorse”. Really – if I showed no remorse why would I have taken them immediately to it?

Tell about the events forming the basis of the information;

I annoyed a person who was aware of my partner smoking cannabis… and shortly after the “events’ unfolded. Two days before the “event” I made a ridiculously stupid comment to the Department of Families representatives that my partner’s use of marijuana was “None of their business” and I told them to leave my house. I have no idea what to say about this. Should I have lied and denied it? Should I have thrown the man who supported us for all those years out immediately?

Tell me the background of the information;

My partner works 10-12 hour days in the sun using jackhammers and heavy machinery basically digging holes all day. He used cannabis to calm him when he gets home. I don’t condone and have never condoned any illegal activity however he is an adult and can make his own choices. He wears earmuffs all day – and comes home still shouting without being aware he is. He suffers from aches and pain and occasionally terrible sunburn.

He would smoke the cannabis in our bedroom and then become quieter and calmer. He has been a good provider to me and my children.

Tell me your personal circumstances at the time of the event/s listed in the information.

My partner was (and is) the sole provider to the family. We were new to town and I worried that if he took the blame for it, as he drives heavy machinery – he could lose his job. With four children and various financial commitments the thought of that was worse to me at the time than the possible consequences. Come to think about it maybe I should of thought about the consequences! I don’t even have speeding tickets on my record. I consider myself to be honest, reliable, patient, and compassionate and I have always contributed to the community.

I do find this terribly embarrassing and regrettable. My children are responsibly educated about substance abuse, illegal drugs and anything harmful. Stranger danger, keeping themselves safe and healthy have been paramount to my raising children over the past 21 years.



Tell me about your experiences/interactions with children;

Over 21 years I have raised my four children as best as I could. My only regret is that I wasn’t able to provide them with very much money. I wish I could just line them up in front of you – I have four well adjusted sensible kids who are all worthy of pages of comments. I have assisted girlfriends with babysitting and cooking, cleaning, laundry, assembling play equipment, attending P & C, fundraising, taxiing children to sports games, sleepovers, being a listener when a child has a problem – and talking when I have a problem with one of mine. When a girlfriend has had a problem such as a relationship problem, or is hospitalised for childbirth or has had to travel to attend something – I take on their kids. It isn’t easy taking on four extra kids in a three bedroom house – but we always managed.

This week alone – I have taken my son, daughter no 3 and one of William’s mates to Rockhampton for a soccer carnival wherein we stayed overnight. The carnival was held in pouring rain and I had very wet, muddy and grass riddled clothes and shoes to dry, dinner and breakfast too cook and forms to fill in, teeth to be brushed…..ego’s to be dealt with, knees to be bandaided. Entertainment to be provided (I recommend the movies Dr Doolittle 3 and Goal – ok so the boys did ewww at the kissing scene), crushed toenails to be fixed up. Soccer games not to be tolerated in other peoples houses.

I do the afternoon lifts to school for daughter no 2 and two of her friends. Her friends’ mother does the morning lift. Daughter no 3 attends boarding school. Daughter no 1 is a competent driver.

I have talked to them about the topic of death (my aunt died on Monday) and the kids had.. Difficult questions. They wonderfully took over my cooking dinner role both Monday and Tuesday to express their condolences to me. (Sadly they didn’t see the cleaning role – but hey!)

I have driven William to soccer with another mate who’s mum had forgotten about Wednesday soccer and I knew she was at work. So I have sent daughter no 2 to tell other mother where her son was.

This afternoon is a girlfriend’s sons birthday – and the cake and jelly is cooling/setting now for that. I am very aware of the kind of mess such a cake is going to make. But it is all for the fun for the kids. And the neighbourhood children will be here by MAGIC… no need to invite them.. somehow they just all KNOW. I love cooking for kids.

Tomorrow is another (this one school) soccer carnival at Benaraby. As of now I am taking two other children. It will probably end up being three. We have to leave here by 7.30 to start the first game at 8.15. And I stay till the last whistle is blown. And then I will have to call in and fax this thing to you. And then I will need to launder all the soccer gear for:-

Saturday morning is again soccer, and taxiing daughter no 2 to cheerleading training. In the afternoon we attend a party for another mate of Williams. I only have to take patty cakes and fairy bread to that one.

Now – times that by 21 years. ALL I have really done is take care of children. I often had to work part time too. Often other people’s children are the ones I have taken care of. I don’t think there has been ONE DAY that I haven’t interacted with someone else’s children. It has been 21 years of nappies, and snotty noses, and bandaids and trying to sneak nutritional food into them. I made pumpkin ice-cream once – it took ages till the neighbourhood kids trusted me again after that one. Of vomit, broken bones, of dead pets, of head lice! We have had neighbourhood delousing with a dozen kids and three tired mothers combing and combing and applying chemicals from the chemist and not getting it in their eyes…. and trying mayonnaise that we found of the internet. (Works too but the kids smell like salad for a bit) I have dealt with SO many issues with children – from fighting with friends/parents/teachers to loss, to not being able to do a cartwheel, or keep your feet on the ground when you throw a ball; to accepting themselves when they have a PIMPLE that they think means is the end of the earth. I have experienced their joys and successes and felt madly proud of children that are not mine but have been part of my life. I have sat in the emergency room with not only my children, but friends and been there for them. Absolute classics like beads up the nose and falling from a tree or JUMPING FROM THE ROOF…. I have caught the neighbourhood children (too late) using another parent’s expensive bathroom turps clean up blue paint to paint the tree house. I have taken babies home with me or for long walks in a pram for a few hours so the new mother could have a few hours sleep. I have had to get out of a car and vomit myself after three kids in the backseat have all suffered car sickness after eating twisties and drinking chocolate milk. And cleaned that mess out.

My interaction with children? It would take me too long to tell you it all. School projects, and spelling tests and revision and research and teaching how to tie shoe laces. Of the joy of neat bookwork, of the hours of reading boring children’s books – and the joy when you realise they too like A.A. Milne. And the commiseration and sorrow at the unhappy child who failed a test or kicked a soccer goal for the wrong side. (Oh ok – the latter one was funny too.. but I stifle my laughter)

Of the kid next door who’s parents fight late at night and how the quiet knock on my front door and the “Go climb in the bunk in William’s bed” and how sometimes things are better left unsaid. Of the heartbreak of the child with a sole parent with problems who tells me “I will never have a car or a job” and my endless tirade of “No, no – never think like that – there is nothing you can’t achieve.” While still being careful to not say anything that would degrade his mother who is doing the best that she can.

Of inappropriate comments and the children – example “Oh don’t you look lovely today!” and a small person tugging my skirt and saying “but mummy you said she looks like she is wearing a tent!”.

Of the two years of lack of sleep with an apnoea baby and at the two year check up finding out he has bone tumours. Of the misery and worry at the operation and the horror of finding the surgeons had shortened his arm. And the worry he would get “picked on” at school, and the beauty that my partner never allowed William to be any different from any kid. Without my partner I probably would of kept him in cotton wool. The taking the fear out of my own eyes as my partner taught him to skateboard and ride bikes and play in the surf.

The frustration and work on the girl’s grammar and spelling as text messaging seems to intrude on their every day writing. Of bedwetting, and sleepwalking and nightmares and sleepovers where at midnight the child would decide they needed their mummy! Of fishing at the beach wherein a flock of children would join us and I would spend all my time untangling dreadful messes. Of talks of colour, and light and how a tree is not brown for the trunk and green for the leaves. Of getting them to look and feel and taste and explore. Of talks on pregnancy and std’s and the necessity to chose friends and make decisions wisely. Of the horror when daughter no 1 didn’t listen and got pregnant anyway! Of the inability to do anything about it – because the authorities said her father allows the boyfriend to live there and you are just the mother – you can’t do anything about it. Goodness – I so must not touch on that one! That one makes me cranky with you guys – the ones I feel like I have to grovel too? I am grovelling to the same department (with changed names) that allowed Daughter no 1 to run away to her father with her drop kick boyfriend and make her life HARD (she has a beautiful baby boy.. but it is still not easy for her) She will be 22 this October with a five year old son and hasn’t completed all of her education and works in a damn bar. Thankfully she has a work ethic. Had you lot let me drag her home I bloody would of. She would be carefree and educated and not worrying about bills. The only drunks she would be worrying about would be her own family.

As far as I was aware – this blue card was introduced so that our children would be free from sexual predators interacting with them. Not for a second did I imagine I would be rejected from one. I guess if my submission is rejected I can stop working with Women’s Health and forget my love of helping the English students. I won’t be able to babysit anymore. I certainly cannot transport kids. I also feel like 21 years of damn hard work and utter devotion has been flushed down the toilet. I have done all the sex talks. I have given my own children information and always listened to them. I am utterly devastated and cranky and humiliated and .. ok embarrassed means the same thing.

I have never advocated the use of dangerous drugs. No wait – the mad woman who dobbed me in…. I think I said to her one day… maybe you should try pot. That woman was 40 years old. I said it half joking and half thinking…. Wow you should calm down. It was a dumb thing for me to say.



Tell me anything else which you think might be relevant.

Sometimes I volunteer – at Women’s Health; I used to volunteer at the Community Advisory Service. I worked there for a while too. I worked at the Senior Citizens Centre and the clients still visit me for help at home. I help the coordinater for the computer class whenever I can. I started the training for tutoring at Tafe in English. To continue that I would need a blue card. We have often volunteered for school yard clean ups – with not only our labour but our equipment. After this “incident” I converted the fine to community service which I performed at St Vinnies in town. I kept going long after I had fulfilled the hours. I was a casual legal secretary for 15 years. My kids HATE IT when I work.. They like me home at 3 pm. Last year I volunteered to help the secretary of the Yaralla Junior Soccer club who couldn’t perform her duties. The family have often volunteered at Clean Up Australia day. I like helping people. (I do shirk tuckshop duties – I really hate that)

It is extremely relevant that I have NEVER advocated the use of illegal drugs. I still lecture any available child’s ear about how stupid smoking cigarettes is! I DO NOT smoke cannabis. As to the cultivation charge – the plants were in my herb and vegetable garden. This is the reason the plants were watered every day. There was no special treatment given, it was just a matter of watering my garden.– the plants were in my herb and vegetable garden.

Wet weekends with kids

On the weekend William's soccer team had a carnival at Rockhampton. We took Reggie with us and all stayed at William's father's house overnight. The soccer was played in the pouring rain and no kid seemed to mind at all. See this picture of William and Reggie - I love it. I had just said to them they all looked like brothers! Only the chimp doesnt look amused!
I drove on to Yeppoon to collect Jane from boarding school - so missed the first game. Sigh - of course William's first goal in a proper game. (Well - for his own team that is -hahahaha...snort...gasp for air... more laughter.... I am SO NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT IN FRONT OF WILLIAM. His actual first goal was last year when he accidently kicked the winning goal for the OTHER team!)
It was very funny - sometimes people have no sence of humour. But he does still get mad at me for laughing about that. Actually I am always laughing at inappropriate moments. The boys won the first three games and had a draw on the fourth game - so they were doing very well.

Jane and I sat in the car with the heater and windscreen wipers on to watch the games. The boys were so wet and muddy.... shame you cant see that on the pictures. After the fourth game it was called off for the day - and we were to hope for Sunday for the games to resume. So we went and did dinner, and got the dvds "Dr Doolittle 3" (maybe that is what it was called?) and "Goal" - which of course the boys (and us girls) loved. If I cry during a movie I like it. That one I cried three times. (But "Good Boy" I cried like eight!) Doesnt say a lot for my artistic commentary on a movie does it... basically if there is a dog in the movie I will like it. BUT there was no dog in "Goal"! So there you go - it is brilliant. Go hire it out.

Sunday morning and the coach rang us just as the boys were pulling on their boots and I was finding the keys... the carnival is postponed till SEPTEMBER. Much disappointment... and I decided to head home. We did pull in at the zoo. Home to Anna and Christian who had spent their time eating ONLY TAKEOUT! In Rocky I had done the mad rush at closing time in Woolworths to select the vegetables and food for aspiring athletes and they got home to find wrappers of takeout.... and were duly pissed off they had missed out! The rain had forced Christian indoors - after he had apparantly used a large unbrella he bought at a discount store in our tin boat... unsuccessfully.... NOW THAT would of been some good pictures!

So now my cupboard is finished except for the buying of new hinges... he had sanded and shellacked and refastened the glass doors. I still have no room for the damn thing. Overcrowded is my life! Blah!

On Friday and Monday we visited with friends and got to play with the baby. The goals friends and I had set - didnt get reached! That could of had something to do with the bubbly and chardonnay. Monday morning my emails informed me that my wonderful Aunt Nina had passed away at 5.50am. That can be another blog later. BUT take a look at these pictures!
Gorgeous she looks huh? And this one is Marley examining a yabbie with mum Natalee looking on (Yes we pulled off it's claw first) Rightio - I am just procrastinating. I have to do a submission for a blue card due to a little "incident" a few years ago.... blah.... (Really I just want to waffle on now about Nina and co... sigh...)Anything really rather than hash that around.

A Minutes bragging about my friends and family!

NATURALLY, I have the world's nicest friends and family. Clever and funny people. All can do tea/coffee and or wine/spirits depending on the occasion. (Now isnt the time I tell about all the BAD decisions I made in choosing friends and family - that can be later!) Nice Robyn graduated last month. (Yep - there is a mad Robyn and a nice Robyn and it is rather important I distinguish between the two!) She dressed accordingly - complete with boa and adorable cherubs. (You have to specially admire your friends who remember the boa or the purple hats?) Yes I know that picture says 2004 - but it is not. Someone has fooked up the batteries and date on the digital camera. I do it all the time too. I cant nick the other pictures off her site yet because it seems down? The blue tarp on the roof is after Cyclone Larry stuff I think... and that is the exact outfit she wore on the all important graduation day. Life is a shit that I could not be with her that day. (Hey and if P could of been there too! mannnnnnn)

Anyway - she finished it all! She stayed beautiful and true to her friends and family and ..... now she has the bit of paper to prove what we all knew.

I am wondering how many of her fellow graduates wore a boa? But I am so pleased that she did! Why I didnt think to get her a purple hat with orange feathers is beyond me. Oh I am feeling all gushy and silly and want to write and post photos of all my clever and beautiful friends. I am especially pleased and proud she can STILL wear high heels. I most certainly cannot. Anyway - I assure you on her behalf - no animals were harmed in the making of that boa/scarf.

So - P - you have to better that. Shall I start collecting feathers?

All my love to all my gorgeous people.

Oh poor Yvette Green! Sometimes things are just wrong

I blogged this story the day I heard about it. I felt so bad for her.

I only caught what happened to her on the news yesterday - and my Google search was .... not much help. But anyway the Magistrate saw fit to have the conviction recorded and give her a $350 fine? Even after this? I hope someone tells her to convert the monetary fine to community service. I had a ball doing mine. I forgot the hours were up and kept going for weeks. Wasn't till someone said.. "Mel - you finished your hours... why are you still here?" and I thought oh no they don't want me! So I stayed away.

But I think it stinks. Yeppers - I have to rediscover my faith in the system. Or possibly... my parents raised me with rediculous ideas and reality... just blows me away.

Pleasant re-welcomings!

Today these wonderful little (oh no they grew so tall) people walked back into my life. Well - no... they romped and stomped and excited the dogs and made the entire house become vibrant and noisy.. and how they had grown! And the tales they chose to tell me.(And how they mended my newly broken heart and don't even know they did it)It has been eleven months since I last saw them.)Look at what the dogs do to under the sofa... i gotta get the britex this week.

And the IRONY.. when I had felt so hurt just Friday .... and these beautiful children...just marched up my steps today and yelled... "Mel!"

I couldnt take pictures because no one would stay still and somehow my dogs knew it was ok to chew on them. At first blood I made the dogs stop. Oh alright second blood. The first blood A and I agreed was his fault. You shouldnt pull your hand quickly out of a dogs mouth. But A has grown so tall... as has K and R... quit school.... I will talk to him more about that later and J was so congenial.

No matter what has happened.... and the story I have doesn't make much sense. The boys are becoming men and are still so lovely. I loved their mum once... but I dont feel worried for her. The kids seem too happy for it to be a bad thing?

Don't mess with eBay - or Bloggers!

There you go! Sometimes there is a rough justice that works?

I for one have always been happy with my eBay transactions. The company/person we bought the hair straightner that worked and then... didn't was just wonderful with us.

But there you go... a new phrase. Doing an Amir. (Thank you The Daddy for that one.

Weekend reading pleasure - March by Geraldine Brooks

While reading through some blogs I like a while ago I came across the recommendation for Geraldine Brooks' "March". Ironically the same day on another blog I came across a fun adult version of book reading for the intoxicated of "Little Women". That sounds like a fantastic thing to do in the winter months. Cosy, intimate,silly and fun stuff. So I emailed a reservation at our local library and waited for a whole bloody month.
I must say it was absolutely worth the wait. It takes about 4 hours to read and is another book wherein it can be dangerous to interupt with rubbish like "Mum when are you going to cook dinner?" I confess I even retaliated with the dramatic - "What do you think I am - Your slave!". Such dramatic effect and indignation in my family goes completely unnoticed. It is difficult to cook and read at the same time so the pea and ham soup has the flavour of..burnt peas. I am acting as if it is meant to taste "smokey camp fire like" and everyone is eating it so it can't be that bad!? Email your library immediately (or for non-cheapskates go and buy it.)I have had to promise myself not to buy any more books because I am NOT building the Great Wall of China all over again and I have a dreadful habit of hoarding.

A BIG thank you to Lishy for adding her site here. What actually happened was I had consumed too many wines to copy and paste in the template - so I told her to fooking do it for me. If you have a look at the time of the post - that speaks heaps. I had made a few attempts to paste it into the template and just kept messing it all up. Anyway - all fixed now!

I have a big story/disappointment/bitch to write but am unsure if it is suitable. I am pretty sure I always get what is suitable/unsuitable wrong so it probably will happen. Can always just delete it if I find it offends anyone?

Righto - taxi,laundress, very bad housekeeper, fishing buddy,helper of friends;animal sitter and cook I must be again! Till someone recommends me another book.

The marauding blogger

OK... so Mel wanted me to post something here... forced me... twisted my arm, the same way she does every time I see her... Hold my nose so I'm forced to drink, talk with me for hours (mostly about nothing or sex stories) until the some comes up. It's terrible I tells ya (the things we do for our friends in time of need...or just coz we damn well feel like it).

So here's the link to the story she so enjoyed (well it's Melly... it's about sexual connotations and people (funny strange ones)

So without further ado... here tis....

LiSh's Blog

P.S. I don't understand why I haven't thought it before, but if Lola and I combined forces surely we could convince her it's no big deal to move the 3000km or so down here to the amazing beaches, brilliant fishing and loads of alcohol we have (shhhh don't remind her it's cold....)

Love LiSh