For the poor unlucky sods who saw my huge whinge over the unfairness of junior cricket for my son William - my apologies.
Duly deleted and archived into the "Mel goes crazy box".
In a nutshell - I signed William up for cricket - the Yaralla junior cricket club coach and registrar said he had to play for 2-3 years younger age group (William has no experience and basically sucked at first training) - William was upset - I said I would fix it - registrar of said club woman made me angry by referring to how short William was at least three times and by saying "How will William feel when he lets his team down" - I lost the plot .. could of behaved myself better with my telephone manners - I ranted and raved to not only my dear friend immediately but too any dear friend unlucky enough to run into me yesterday.....
Problem was solved. We put him into a team that apparantly is completely used to losing and doesnt have height restrictions nor worries about experienced 12 year olds (no one told me when I signed him up for the Yaralla team that they do pride themselves on being winners - found out that today over a glass of wine with friends)
And now - I look forward to a summer of William playing with the kind of people I would rather he play with ANYWAY. William is happy - in his own age group - LOVES the bright yellow shirt he gets to wear and (so long as Mummy doesnt harp on) he can live down the shame now of being told to play with the little kids.
But - I was very upset at the time.
Whilst I would always believe in nurturing the talented players in any sport - I also am a firm believer in encouraging all children to play sport - any sport - even if they do "suck".*
I am proud of my sons devotion, tenacity, perseverance and sensitivity. That is what matters most.
And just incase anyone reads this damn thing best I remove the pages of me bitching. So it is gone! Adieu!
*William's words to me - when he explained he sucked at bowling, he really sucked at catching and when he put the "cup" to protect his genitals in and it fell out of his underpant-less pants - he learnt a very important lesson in humility. I doubt he will ever not wear underpants to cricket again. I think its best I buy him his own cup.
Not the cup like on Cazzie's site. My beloved son has had enough humiliation for the week.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Wanna hire a ute?
Christian took this photo on the way home from Theodore the other week. It is around Benaraby - and some larrikin has... indeed made it more noticeable.Wonder if larrikinism will be part of the "values test" for our incoming migrants?
You have to like Ms Fits' idea - instead we could make Friday night games a more viewable show - really test them buggas! Best yet - make them compete against all our competent fellows in the Immigration Department!
I so wish I had of said what Steph said "Tis a shame the original inhabitants of this land didn't have similar "tests" before they allowed entry.
Can you picture it.
"oi whitefella, if ya can chuck that boomerang and catch that there roo, you can stay. Otherwise get back in ya boat and fuck off"."
Last night on the tv
Remember the dickhead Yeppoon bait and tackle shop owner who complained about migrants COMING INTO HIS SHOP and not speaking English. He just didnt get it did he? COMING INTO HIS SHOP. Odd thing that - people from other countries are just as likely as us to want to go fishing and they could require tackle.
I loved working at Tafe with the wonderful hard working students in the English a Second Language department. Years ago I had a dear neighbour and friend who I spent hours with and watched her progress and frustration and her diligence! Nah - that starts three hundred stories.
But I do want to know whose fooking values are we going to use here? Dickheads come in all cultures. In that we are hardly unique.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
An ulcer on my EYE!
After the last post, I did retire to the sofa for more really corny tv. During the post and after I attempted to take my contact lenses out. Well the right one - the left one came out quickly with no problems.
When I was getting ready to go to dinner and putting them in I noticed I had a very small sty.. stye.. sti? wait I have to look that up dammit. Sty ok. Same as pig pen. That HARDLY seems right. Anyway.
Anyway - I figured we wont be out long anyway and it is only tiny. By the time I lay on the sofa small sty had became huge sty - and contact lense just wouldnt come out. I did consider waking Anna or Christian to help me... but both of them started work early Saturday morning and I decided a little nap and I would be able to do it myself. Well - that was one of my many STUPID DUMBASS MOMENTS. During the "nap" I must of dug at the thing so badly I scratched the eyeball and by 4 pm Saturday I was very miserable in heaps of pain at the Gladstone Hospital Emergency (Medical Centre GP said best I go up there as he didnt have the real equipment.)
I guess I was rather lucky because a lovely grey haired and bearded GP saw me very quickly - I probably waited ten minutes and was only so antsy because I was in incredible pain. He put a local anesthetic in my eye - and hey presto! Pain Gone. I said "Thanks" and made to clear out. He chuckled and made me sit back down, put some dye in my eye and then looked at it in the... thingo with all the knobs and chinrest for looking into eyes. I said - "But I feel fine now.. thanks heaps" and he said "You wont in a couple of hours". As he prescribed the drops and goey disgusting ointment that makes your eyes all stick together reminiscent of the milkshed cats in your childhood that all had to be put down even though you vowed you would clean all 40 pairs of eyes at both Bellvue and Grandma Metcalfes' house every single day for the rest of your life.....and as the ten year old sobbed in bed at night also vowed to pay for any cat with conjunctavitis as soon as you could earn money! Wow - I so haven't kept some childhood vows huh?
Waffled again. Where was I?
Right - well lucky for me you cant take the boy out of Woodridge but you cannot take the Woodridge out of the boy. And Christian noticed that he had only used a few drops of the local anesthetic and so he quietly told me to pocket the rest safetly into my handbag. Thank Heavens he did. Later that night the agony was back and we just used one drop at a time. By Sunday it was still painful but not the cry out load painful of Saturday and Saturday night. But oh - when that GP put that magic stuff in my eyes I was so so in awe of his genius! He told me to come back Sunday and that he thought it wasnt deep just big and would cure quickly.
We had the soccer break up Sunday and I figured I would be a dutiful Mother and make an appearance. William is on the right in red t-shirt and he FINALLY got a kid in his team shorter than him! He was so pleased.. or I was? One of the two) When I realised M and K were imbibing I thought a little self medication couldnt hurt me under the circumstances and all. So - next thing I have stayed to the end of the show, presentation, rides and AGM (I hid - I wasnt drunk enough to want to figure out how to coordinate a rooster)and we are all back at my house with the 9 children, only Christian could drive and Jane had to be delivered to the train station back to boarding school.
William got "Most improved player" and was so excited with his three trophies. Junk food dinner was a perfect ending, so.............
We fed the kids cheerios and dim sims for dinner (healthy huh? gawd) and we munched on cheese and crackers and continued to get louder and more funny. Well we thought we were.
My eye is healing but today has been the first day I can look at the computer (and I am wearing sunglasses inside) - I can't watch tv, I can't read, I am bored to death - I dont think it is safe for me to drive so I am not. I look hideous - and not hideous funny - just hideous. Yesterday I just spent the whole day either in bed or on the sofa miserable. Christian is working away at Moura so I cant nag him to amuse me.
I cut out (very badly) some emails and posted some pictures into a scrap book today for my kids in the future. I have kept letters, pictures and cards in some drawers for some time. I tried to make it all neat and somehow in order - from both my deceased Aunts and my living ones. I will have to make a few... because my parents divorce was hmm acrimonious and even 30 years later putting the two families stuff in the same album just feels WRONG. I dont have a problem putting our stuff in the same album - the kids, their two fathers and one step father just never were allowed to fight too much.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be 100% better, and the glasses can come off. A good nights sleep is what I need - and I am surprised at how much I miss checking my favourite blogs.
When I was getting ready to go to dinner and putting them in I noticed I had a very small sty.. stye.. sti? wait I have to look that up dammit. Sty ok. Same as pig pen. That HARDLY seems right. Anyway.
Anyway - I figured we wont be out long anyway and it is only tiny. By the time I lay on the sofa small sty had became huge sty - and contact lense just wouldnt come out. I did consider waking Anna or Christian to help me... but both of them started work early Saturday morning and I decided a little nap and I would be able to do it myself. Well - that was one of my many STUPID DUMBASS MOMENTS. During the "nap" I must of dug at the thing so badly I scratched the eyeball and by 4 pm Saturday I was very miserable in heaps of pain at the Gladstone Hospital Emergency (Medical Centre GP said best I go up there as he didnt have the real equipment.)
I guess I was rather lucky because a lovely grey haired and bearded GP saw me very quickly - I probably waited ten minutes and was only so antsy because I was in incredible pain. He put a local anesthetic in my eye - and hey presto! Pain Gone. I said "Thanks" and made to clear out. He chuckled and made me sit back down, put some dye in my eye and then looked at it in the... thingo with all the knobs and chinrest for looking into eyes. I said - "But I feel fine now.. thanks heaps" and he said "You wont in a couple of hours". As he prescribed the drops and goey disgusting ointment that makes your eyes all stick together reminiscent of the milkshed cats in your childhood that all had to be put down even though you vowed you would clean all 40 pairs of eyes at both Bellvue and Grandma Metcalfes' house every single day for the rest of your life.....and as the ten year old sobbed in bed at night also vowed to pay for any cat with conjunctavitis as soon as you could earn money! Wow - I so haven't kept some childhood vows huh?
Waffled again. Where was I?
Right - well lucky for me you cant take the boy out of Woodridge but you cannot take the Woodridge out of the boy. And Christian noticed that he had only used a few drops of the local anesthetic and so he quietly told me to pocket the rest safetly into my handbag. Thank Heavens he did. Later that night the agony was back and we just used one drop at a time. By Sunday it was still painful but not the cry out load painful of Saturday and Saturday night. But oh - when that GP put that magic stuff in my eyes I was so so in awe of his genius! He told me to come back Sunday and that he thought it wasnt deep just big and would cure quickly.
We had the soccer break up Sunday and I figured I would be a dutiful Mother and make an appearance. William is on the right in red t-shirt and he FINALLY got a kid in his team shorter than him! He was so pleased.. or I was? One of the two) When I realised M and K were imbibing I thought a little self medication couldnt hurt me under the circumstances and all. So - next thing I have stayed to the end of the show, presentation, rides and AGM (I hid - I wasnt drunk enough to want to figure out how to coordinate a rooster)and we are all back at my house with the 9 children, only Christian could drive and Jane had to be delivered to the train station back to boarding school.
William got "Most improved player" and was so excited with his three trophies. Junk food dinner was a perfect ending, so.............We fed the kids cheerios and dim sims for dinner (healthy huh? gawd) and we munched on cheese and crackers and continued to get louder and more funny. Well we thought we were.
My eye is healing but today has been the first day I can look at the computer (and I am wearing sunglasses inside) - I can't watch tv, I can't read, I am bored to death - I dont think it is safe for me to drive so I am not. I look hideous - and not hideous funny - just hideous. Yesterday I just spent the whole day either in bed or on the sofa miserable. Christian is working away at Moura so I cant nag him to amuse me.
I cut out (very badly) some emails and posted some pictures into a scrap book today for my kids in the future. I have kept letters, pictures and cards in some drawers for some time. I tried to make it all neat and somehow in order - from both my deceased Aunts and my living ones. I will have to make a few... because my parents divorce was hmm acrimonious and even 30 years later putting the two families stuff in the same album just feels WRONG. I dont have a problem putting our stuff in the same album - the kids, their two fathers and one step father just never were allowed to fight too much.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be 100% better, and the glasses can come off. A good nights sleep is what I need - and I am surprised at how much I miss checking my favourite blogs.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Social Butterfly me! What an insane week.
I adore friends and family. But generally I HATE going out. I hate being stuck somewhere I dont want to be. I am nervous about meeting new people. Yeah I know that is a really dodgy editing attempt! Haha - tough it is after 10 pm and I have already drank too many wines. I am protecting the innocent. And I never told them I could use the photos later here. Gorgeous women - but look behind them. Yep - that was the Hen's night with the theme of cowgirls and cocktails.
Yep - Give us a hat, pigtails or plaits and straw in our hair - and we are in costume. I didn't mention karaoke. Oh Lordy! Who ever thought this party up was on a roll. And trust me it was not me who decided to make orgasms and then straight after make harvey wallbangers and grasshoppers. I was having SUCH A LOVELY TIME.I actually said to Christian.. the party starts at four .. so I should be ready to go home at 7.30 - pick me up then.
At 7.15pm (the party was 15 minutes drive from home) I rang and said "Make it 8.30" and ditto at 8.15! Anna came home from work and then dragged me home then when Christian informed her I was drinking cocktails and singing karaoke with her school teachers. Haha.The next morning I woke up so hungry and still drunk, I actually ate Macdonalds because I got too confused in front of the fridge. I wanted Christian to drive me to Agnus Waters because I know there is a restuarant there that does a FABULOUS breakfast... but he knew me better than I know myself and knew I wouldnt last the hour and a half drive and fed me the dreaded chew and spew telling me it was for my own good. Family was very smug and enjoyed my demise as my stomach told me there are reasons I do not go out. Hooray for panadol rapid.
Ok - I know this photo is almost sad! But it is funny - so pfftttt.. That is simply what happens after a bucket of margarita's and a stack of cocktails that do not go with each other. Natty said "Girls look sexy" - I puckered up and Hope fell asleep on my shoulder. Daughter's that still have stamina for parties......... are very beautiful but... a sad sad reminder. You can see right up my nose in that picture. Hey - actually it looks like I am just about to puke. But I didnt! Yay! I had a really good time.There are a dozen tales to tell from that night but I want to remember the entire week so we have to move on.
Ok so Sunday I just recovered very quietly. Very very quietly. And Monday was my closest friend (ie the one I see the most often- I can't bear to rate my friends)birthday celebration and I wanted it to be perfect. And wait Sunday ended up not so quiet - because she arrived and commented on how there was no way my painting the house would be finished by Monday. And Anna had told many people "Mum is always starting things and never finishing them" (that is called "artistic license" she just is young that is all)So I painted all afternoon. And it killed me but I painted anyway because they said I wouldn't. Pathetic huh.
I had the last of the second coat finished by 2.45 Monday with no time to spare before M and K's 6 kids arrived for dry time. And then I had to cater for all of us. It all went fine and both M and K said I had ................. oh lol wait.
My friend M seems to have nasty days. I reckon we all have nasty days. Even the sweetest people I know can have nasty moments. But M can have ... more than some. "Careless comments" or "Gatsby moments?" No Gatsby wouldnt be a correct reference. Hmm - well anyway in the same conversation that she said I wouldnt have the house painted in time for her birthday do.. she told how she wrapped many of her engagement etc presents and regave them if she didnt like them.
Christian and I spent four hours - I kid you not - shopping for hers' on Saturday. It was horrible. I love beautiful things too but Christian is the ultimate bower bird. If it is sparkly and pretty he loves it. (Poor sod huh? with me?) I hate shopping. Christian loves shopping. And he is a careless spender. We are shopping for M - not for me and not for him. She has different tastes to me. In the end we chose a gorgeous vase.....golds and browns from a local art gallery.
Well - M said the "if I dont like a present I just rewrap it and give it to the next person I need a gift for!". And I guess I must of done ... nutso melly - because I said ffs dont! Just give it back and I will give you the bloody cash..." Then M noticed a present in the corner of the room and she said.. "did you forget one of Janes' presents?" (Oh crap I meant to blog that too - did I?) And I said "No that one is yours."
Borrowing Ms Fits..... Beat..... Beat....
I suspect I am really advertising why it is not a good idea to be a friend of mine?
Anyway I was happy with the food and the table setting and everything Monday night EXCEPT M and K laughed at my insecurities about such matters.......... so I felt like a right twit... and right now after... hmm forgot count... wines I dont really care.
Tonight we went out AGAIN! Can you believe it? With lovely friends who I suspect made a very big effort to converse with Christian (who could really be interested in new subdivisions- I mean I only pretend to listen for the sake of harmony)but he enjoyed himself.... and so did I...Was another K's birthday this week - gorgeous woman who doesnt seem to know how gorgeous...Christian fell asleep on the sofa and only woke to say "what..what" when I moved my next project from under him... I have some fantastic ideas for christmas decorations I want to start soon.
I really want work to call me in so I can stop messing with things that dont want to be messed with.
And Peter Brock is dead. What an amazing week. Steve, Colin, Don Chipp and Peter Brock.
I just smashed the absolute last glass of any set I own. I reckon that means its time for me to get to bed or at least do something on the sofa where I cannot knock over anything important.
Cheerio!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Steve Irwin - an unqualified view
I was just reading a few posts about the tragic and untimely death of Steve Irwin. (Jam the GG arguements or any similar - 44 is about as fucking untimely as you can get)
A few hours after we found out Steve was dead (via text message if you please? We were texted with "Did you know Steve Irwin is dead". Every word was spelt wrong - it came via Anna's (15 years)phone.)We were at the fish market picking up supplies for a special supper for my girlfriends birthday. The whole shop started talking about it.
I can confess to being a "knocker" of Steve's. That is simply because he was alive and whilst alive in Australia it is perfectly acceptable and very often appropriate for moments of humour, wit and our comfortable bad taste. Especially if you are in the spotlight - the tall poppy syndrome. It is simply part of our culture. Also he once said Little Johnny was the greatest leader in Australia and then REALLY got carried away and said the world. (Buggared if I can find the link to that now but it was truly vomit stuff) I will probably knock you if I hear you support Little Johnny just because I can.
When we had cable tv, "The Crocodile Hunter" was played rather persistantly. One blog I read mentioned that here in Australia we didnt see all that much - that lovely person probably didnt have small children to amuse. I went through a brief (manic) time of insisting my children only watch "Discovery Channel" "National Geographic" "The History Channel" etc.... mostly because had I let my wee ones they would of watched cartoons all day every day, and the very first time one of my kids told me to "eat my shorts" led to a short obsession with censorship that I invariably lost control of.
Anyhoo - (I can waffle hey?) My personal experience of that was that ole Stevie boy showed my kids how to milk cane toads on tv. How to gently squeeze the thingo's (I should of been watch the show too hey?) glands on the top of their head and the white stuff that came out was the poison. I had long stopped being afraid of cane toads, because I have seen my girls dress them in dolls clothes and place them in the cabbage patch clothes dolls pram (said cabbage patch doll turfed out face down in the lawn) and drag them around. Said cane toads would not mind this .. interaction for a while and then the bastards would escape and I would have teary girls who had lost their "babies". The cat and dog dried food attracted the damn toads. It is also very funny when you are six to throw a cane toad near your mother and ask her to kiss the "baby". Sadly I was the mother. But even I had engaging moments where you realise the toad is enjoying being stroked. We used a hell of a lot of dettol those days - but in the same sentence we also had to wash all the dettol of because it really made the toads suffer.
And my Jane... took to said "milking" task with great gusto - and until I asked her older sister why she had asked me for a jar I had NO IDEA WHAT SHE WAS BLOODY DOING!
Same year Jane also downloaded instructions for building home made bombs and printed them and I knew nothing about that until the school rang me to come in. Actually same year of what Jane did would take a novel. But she was right into anything ... hmmm experimental? It usually called for me having to apologise to other parents, teachers and children.
So I would knock him.. in the ocker way. No malice just "what a bastard!". Germaine Geers' horrible diatribe doesn't (to me) qualify under that kind of thing. I found this comment so very distasteful. "You can just imagine Irwin yelling: "Just look at these beauties! Crikey! With those barbs a stingray can kill a horse!" (Yes, Steve, but a stingray doesn't want to kill a horse. It eats crustaceans, for God's sake.)"
She mentions when a bird tore at his nose and the bird having more brains than a croc. Heavens - we all roared laughing when the bearded dragon bit his nose. And when the croc came very close to his genitals. We do the same when other Aussie adventurers have similar misadventures. Hell - I do it when my own kids get bitten by a lizard, cricket (I kid you not) or a fish. My finicky daughter the day a leech attached itself to her hand. Now - it was FUNNY!You know they had a small amount of pain and that isnt what you are laughing at but it is damn funny to see this stuff. Read Jellyfishes blog about the kid with the leech in his mouth. It simply is FUNNY.
"Just hold the critter there while Mummy gets the camera and do that again!" (They rarely oblige sadly)
I cant help myself I watch Malcolm Douglas because aside from any of the beautiful views, lovely animals I am waiting for him to bog himself hopelessly, or his dog to pinch the beautiful fish he just caught and yes I am waiting for him to hook himself on his home made lures. And - because part of their job is showman... he does! Hooray!
It is just astounding how venomous people can be.
I always try not to visit Tim Blair's blog. It is like a curiousity of something ghastly. A train wreck? Follow the link to the comments. But I did when I read Pavlov's Cat. I wish I didnt. (Not read her blog I mean - I love that - I mean follow the links) It then becomes like a stoning from "The Holy Grail".
Steve's death shocked me profoundly because I really never imagined a sting ray would kill you. Never. Maybe a small child or an elderly person. We often see sting rays and marvel in their incredible beauty. I have stood and watched them swim past me as I wait for my rod to tug and see them swim past me so close. And never did I feel scared. When we are fishing in the shallows in the boat and they swim past and are interested in our bait or what is struggling in the water that we have caught. And how close they are to me and how I have put my hand in the water to be closer and watch them watch me.
Once - only once did I have fear and that was when Maggie our Kelpie fishing mad dog went insane because Christian had one on the fishing line and she was being an absolute lunatic at the wonderful big hunting catch we had. I begged Christian to cut the line... and the line broke itself... and we fetched Maggie out of the water..... everyone safe. I almost stood on one accidently whiting fishing at Caloundra and Christian knocked me over backwards. I got up to abuse him - I had a fish and was stepping forward to get it and had almost stood on a very large one just sitting in his/her sand hole. I had to apologise then.. standing on one wouldnt be wise. But being near them never worried me. As a matter of fact their presence was always one of the most wonderful things for me and with the water.
I think Germaine Greers comment he "As a Melbourne boy, Irwin should have had a healthy respect for stingrays, which are actually commoner, and bigger, in southern waters than they are near Port Douglas," were a little bit lost. Dementia? He left Melbourne as a 6 year old and attended Caloundra High School? How are you a "Melbourne Boy" when the majority of your life was spent somewhere completely different? Ask your teenager of their memories under 6. I wonder why GG would assume he would assimilate himself as a "Melbourne boy"? Maybe she just has better booze and drugs than the rest of us! (Notwithstanding I really didnt like the horrible bully banter of Tim Blair's followers.)
My partner works 10 hour days in heat - never cold just heat. Even our winters are a lovely 24 C during the day but down a hole its a hell of a lot hotter. When he comes home he does an odd thing - he yells at the tv and the current affairs programs. It sometimes alarms me and the kids. He doesnt think he is yelling. He wears ear plugs all day - and he thinks he is just talking. It isnt a characteristic just of his - the children and I notice their father does the exact same thing. For some odd reason if something annoys them on the tv they yell some absolute rubbish and we all flee... because we think they must be cranky.
They are not - they just do this odd thing. And the first thing Christian heard was the reaction to GG. I said to him "She is actually a smart and witty woman who has certainly contributed to modern society BUT the way she makes money is she stirs up shit - and that is how she gets paid" or in similar words but with more swearing because he was yelling very loud and none of the kids, dogs or me like it if anyone yells. He wisely told me in a quiet voice - "when I have to stir up shit" (he means literally as in a sewer line problem) "all you do is yell at me."
Point taken he was quite right. I do.
My mother emailed me on how sad Steve Irwins passing was. And a Canadian chat friend asked me if I could post him the Australian news articles on the incident - which of course I can. Within hours of his death.
I loved what Pavlov's Cat did with Colin Theile, Don Chipp and Steve. I so seriously should pay attention to the news. I cried at Colin's death and I only read about it at PC's and then went and searched it. I still feed pelicans and fuck anyone who says I cant. THEY at least have always scared the shit out of me if I didnt. I know to respect them because aside from loving "Storm Boy" I know a 6 foot wing span squarking at me will make me let them have whatever they want. Eh - see here.. Colin allowed me to survive motherhood. I know what to be scared of! Kids were easy going - just hard work.
I honestly never knew sting rays kill you. I figured they are just pleasant creatures who get mighty cranky if you catch them and seeing we fish on light line almost always break free. I have eaten them once that I know of. And bloody nice too.
I read all the stuff about calling them slimy to touch. I didnt find them slimy to touch just smooth? And as to the "Dr Meridith... knowing Steve?" you can know anybody and not say what they did minutes before they died?
Steve said and did many things I disagreed with. But he did a hell of a lot more that I so approved of. And he wasnt some half assed twit that just did the minimum ... he stuck his head out. Dont trust your governments to buy land to save animals. It is your wealthy that will do it. To the twits that say there should be no private santuarys... may Harriet bite your ass in your sleep.
Above all - he loved his family and his animals. It is impossible for me to hate any man who can do that.
A few hours after we found out Steve was dead (via text message if you please? We were texted with "Did you know Steve Irwin is dead". Every word was spelt wrong - it came via Anna's (15 years)phone.)We were at the fish market picking up supplies for a special supper for my girlfriends birthday. The whole shop started talking about it.
I can confess to being a "knocker" of Steve's. That is simply because he was alive and whilst alive in Australia it is perfectly acceptable and very often appropriate for moments of humour, wit and our comfortable bad taste. Especially if you are in the spotlight - the tall poppy syndrome. It is simply part of our culture. Also he once said Little Johnny was the greatest leader in Australia and then REALLY got carried away and said the world. (Buggared if I can find the link to that now but it was truly vomit stuff) I will probably knock you if I hear you support Little Johnny just because I can.
When we had cable tv, "The Crocodile Hunter" was played rather persistantly. One blog I read mentioned that here in Australia we didnt see all that much - that lovely person probably didnt have small children to amuse. I went through a brief (manic) time of insisting my children only watch "Discovery Channel" "National Geographic" "The History Channel" etc.... mostly because had I let my wee ones they would of watched cartoons all day every day, and the very first time one of my kids told me to "eat my shorts" led to a short obsession with censorship that I invariably lost control of.
Anyhoo - (I can waffle hey?) My personal experience of that was that ole Stevie boy showed my kids how to milk cane toads on tv. How to gently squeeze the thingo's (I should of been watch the show too hey?) glands on the top of their head and the white stuff that came out was the poison. I had long stopped being afraid of cane toads, because I have seen my girls dress them in dolls clothes and place them in the cabbage patch clothes dolls pram (said cabbage patch doll turfed out face down in the lawn) and drag them around. Said cane toads would not mind this .. interaction for a while and then the bastards would escape and I would have teary girls who had lost their "babies". The cat and dog dried food attracted the damn toads. It is also very funny when you are six to throw a cane toad near your mother and ask her to kiss the "baby". Sadly I was the mother. But even I had engaging moments where you realise the toad is enjoying being stroked. We used a hell of a lot of dettol those days - but in the same sentence we also had to wash all the dettol of because it really made the toads suffer.
And my Jane... took to said "milking" task with great gusto - and until I asked her older sister why she had asked me for a jar I had NO IDEA WHAT SHE WAS BLOODY DOING!
Same year Jane also downloaded instructions for building home made bombs and printed them and I knew nothing about that until the school rang me to come in. Actually same year of what Jane did would take a novel. But she was right into anything ... hmmm experimental? It usually called for me having to apologise to other parents, teachers and children.
So I would knock him.. in the ocker way. No malice just "what a bastard!". Germaine Geers' horrible diatribe doesn't (to me) qualify under that kind of thing. I found this comment so very distasteful. "You can just imagine Irwin yelling: "Just look at these beauties! Crikey! With those barbs a stingray can kill a horse!" (Yes, Steve, but a stingray doesn't want to kill a horse. It eats crustaceans, for God's sake.)"
She mentions when a bird tore at his nose and the bird having more brains than a croc. Heavens - we all roared laughing when the bearded dragon bit his nose. And when the croc came very close to his genitals. We do the same when other Aussie adventurers have similar misadventures. Hell - I do it when my own kids get bitten by a lizard, cricket (I kid you not) or a fish. My finicky daughter the day a leech attached itself to her hand. Now - it was FUNNY!You know they had a small amount of pain and that isnt what you are laughing at but it is damn funny to see this stuff. Read Jellyfishes blog about the kid with the leech in his mouth. It simply is FUNNY.
"Just hold the critter there while Mummy gets the camera and do that again!" (They rarely oblige sadly)
I cant help myself I watch Malcolm Douglas because aside from any of the beautiful views, lovely animals I am waiting for him to bog himself hopelessly, or his dog to pinch the beautiful fish he just caught and yes I am waiting for him to hook himself on his home made lures. And - because part of their job is showman... he does! Hooray!
It is just astounding how venomous people can be.
I always try not to visit Tim Blair's blog. It is like a curiousity of something ghastly. A train wreck? Follow the link to the comments. But I did when I read Pavlov's Cat. I wish I didnt. (Not read her blog I mean - I love that - I mean follow the links) It then becomes like a stoning from "The Holy Grail".
Steve's death shocked me profoundly because I really never imagined a sting ray would kill you. Never. Maybe a small child or an elderly person. We often see sting rays and marvel in their incredible beauty. I have stood and watched them swim past me as I wait for my rod to tug and see them swim past me so close. And never did I feel scared. When we are fishing in the shallows in the boat and they swim past and are interested in our bait or what is struggling in the water that we have caught. And how close they are to me and how I have put my hand in the water to be closer and watch them watch me.
Once - only once did I have fear and that was when Maggie our Kelpie fishing mad dog went insane because Christian had one on the fishing line and she was being an absolute lunatic at the wonderful big hunting catch we had. I begged Christian to cut the line... and the line broke itself... and we fetched Maggie out of the water..... everyone safe. I almost stood on one accidently whiting fishing at Caloundra and Christian knocked me over backwards. I got up to abuse him - I had a fish and was stepping forward to get it and had almost stood on a very large one just sitting in his/her sand hole. I had to apologise then.. standing on one wouldnt be wise. But being near them never worried me. As a matter of fact their presence was always one of the most wonderful things for me and with the water.
I think Germaine Greers comment he "As a Melbourne boy, Irwin should have had a healthy respect for stingrays, which are actually commoner, and bigger, in southern waters than they are near Port Douglas," were a little bit lost. Dementia? He left Melbourne as a 6 year old and attended Caloundra High School? How are you a "Melbourne Boy" when the majority of your life was spent somewhere completely different? Ask your teenager of their memories under 6. I wonder why GG would assume he would assimilate himself as a "Melbourne boy"? Maybe she just has better booze and drugs than the rest of us! (Notwithstanding I really didnt like the horrible bully banter of Tim Blair's followers.)
My partner works 10 hour days in heat - never cold just heat. Even our winters are a lovely 24 C during the day but down a hole its a hell of a lot hotter. When he comes home he does an odd thing - he yells at the tv and the current affairs programs. It sometimes alarms me and the kids. He doesnt think he is yelling. He wears ear plugs all day - and he thinks he is just talking. It isnt a characteristic just of his - the children and I notice their father does the exact same thing. For some odd reason if something annoys them on the tv they yell some absolute rubbish and we all flee... because we think they must be cranky.
They are not - they just do this odd thing. And the first thing Christian heard was the reaction to GG. I said to him "She is actually a smart and witty woman who has certainly contributed to modern society BUT the way she makes money is she stirs up shit - and that is how she gets paid" or in similar words but with more swearing because he was yelling very loud and none of the kids, dogs or me like it if anyone yells. He wisely told me in a quiet voice - "when I have to stir up shit" (he means literally as in a sewer line problem) "all you do is yell at me."
Point taken he was quite right. I do.
My mother emailed me on how sad Steve Irwins passing was. And a Canadian chat friend asked me if I could post him the Australian news articles on the incident - which of course I can. Within hours of his death.
I loved what Pavlov's Cat did with Colin Theile, Don Chipp and Steve. I so seriously should pay attention to the news. I cried at Colin's death and I only read about it at PC's and then went and searched it. I still feed pelicans and fuck anyone who says I cant. THEY at least have always scared the shit out of me if I didnt. I know to respect them because aside from loving "Storm Boy" I know a 6 foot wing span squarking at me will make me let them have whatever they want. Eh - see here.. Colin allowed me to survive motherhood. I know what to be scared of! Kids were easy going - just hard work.
I honestly never knew sting rays kill you. I figured they are just pleasant creatures who get mighty cranky if you catch them and seeing we fish on light line almost always break free. I have eaten them once that I know of. And bloody nice too.
I read all the stuff about calling them slimy to touch. I didnt find them slimy to touch just smooth? And as to the "Dr Meridith... knowing Steve?" you can know anybody and not say what they did minutes before they died?
Steve said and did many things I disagreed with. But he did a hell of a lot more that I so approved of. And he wasnt some half assed twit that just did the minimum ... he stuck his head out. Dont trust your governments to buy land to save animals. It is your wealthy that will do it. To the twits that say there should be no private santuarys... may Harriet bite your ass in your sleep.
Above all - he loved his family and his animals. It is impossible for me to hate any man who can do that.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Can you ROSTER a ROOSTER - we need you!
Ok - we have already established it doesn't take a terrible lot to amuse me. This really tickled me but. It is like the person who typed this up has used her naughty draft instead of the real one! The trouble Word auto correct can make!
The fundraising person has to CO-ORDININATE A ROOSTER. Line up the hens maybe? Make sure his feathers are in place and matching? Wake him up in the mornings so he can cock-a-doodle-doo on time? Tell him which hens are failing to make the egg grade? Mind boggles!(One of my Aunts collects Roosters - I think she was born in the year of a Rooster - she should put her hand up hey!)
I particularly like "going on a rooster"? Should we call the RSPCA? How many people exactly would fit on this Rooster?
Do we bring our own Rooster food? Warning - this stuff is just me bitching. Scroll to the next one.
Their maths also amused me. One hundred and sixteen players forfeiting the $600 canteen duty fine... costs $20 per player? And I berated myself for my dreadful maths! Last year I was secretary to the secretary - and I thought that was very funny! But I do always hate the tone of these damn letters. IF they needed my help why didn't anyone ASK? I am not going to go out of my way to find extra stuff to do - but if they ask they already know I never say no. (OK - so I have hidden behind cars before when I realise they want help in the canteen - but mannnnnnnnnn you should see how horrible that is. It can take a full five minutes for some ladies to add up what you have bought - and by that time the hot stuff is cold and the cold stuff has melted. Or worse - when they hand you your drink and their fingers are on the INSIDE of the cup. I take my own. Sigh.)
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Preparing for Father's Day
This Sunday is Father's Day. So today I selected the presents for my youngest child William to present to his step father and father on the weekend. It is also my youngest daughter Janes birthday on Friday - but her father has got in first and she is spending the weekend with him. (I had hoped to deliver some magnificent cake creation to boarding school and delight her with her gifts there or at the beach - somehow I COMPLETELY forgot all about fathers day until I got an earful via said father.)
I let William wrap them as he saw fit. I probably should of known better. As you can see - spelling is not his strongpoint. I was tempted to stick an extra "R" & "T" in his sperm donor father's one..... and then remembered that would only antagonise.... and even if I do antagonise him with something witty and funny it takes him way too long to get over it... so best I dont. Oh yeah - trust me ole sperm donor has never had to brave three different shopping expeditions with the kids to find the "perfect" present for me. Anyhoo - so the plan now is I drive to his dark and abysmal home* an hour and a bit away - all of us have to smile and be sweet and us females are expected to eat like ladies.........No sucking the chocolate off the licorice and putting it back on the plate in front of him.. no sireee... It can be funny - one of the girls swear or answer me back and he jumps right on them. The most shocked one is usually me. He will make the girls wash up - I better be careful with the planning of the cake incase he insists one of them vacuums too.
He will insist the gift recipient expresses the correct and proper thankfulness (Oh - too good - tomorrow I will wrap up some tea towels - that should be funny) and share any bounties like chocolates. Poor buggar - he has no idea why they avoid him.
Anna has bought him a garbage bin and some decent pillows (cause the house has none) and I will ring Jane tomorrow to find out what she wants me to get him.
I said William could stay the weekend - forgetting of course that soccer season is almost over and its.. not semi finals the one before that this Saturday. So Jane is stuck there for the weekend by herself. Anna has work and she got out of this weekend by saying she would take the weekend of his birthday off. It will just be the opening of the gifts, mutilation of the cake and the drive back home.
My Dad is owed a million letters and pictures and tomorrow I will delay the painting to put all that together and post it. Christian's Dad I will have to buy something and throw in the post too.
That sounds dreadfully flippant doesnt it? The fact is all the fathers in our life... yep sperm donor included have done a heck of a lot and have our eternal respect. It just seems kinda sad that we have to send them a crummy box of $10 chocolates and pay $12 to post it with a crummy card...And my oldest baby doesnt even have that option this year (her father died recently)and I wonder what she will do.
Righto - I better start sorting out what to send my Dad from two pc's and heaven knows how many bloody cds. He will love the blokes yard at Theodore with all the dead tractors. Sigh.
*This house is a gorgeous old Queenslander but as a single man he has simply outfitted it with the bare necessities and other than badly or unframed pictures of the kids no decorating at all.
Two (Really three) interesting blogs today
Ok - this one is somewhat disturbing and .. hmmm... scarey. HMHB's blog is very interesting itself. But hey! SEVEN HUNDRED Al Qaeda sympathisers released from prison after being "corrected" in Saudi Arabia.
The mind can boggle I tell ya. It is my fault - I just finished reading Colleen McCullough's Caeser. Now HE had some interesting methods of "correcting"! It can be better if I simply don't think some days.
Ok - and then over at Pavlov's Cat we find the objectionalmoronic, stupid argument that the new Cervical cancer vaccine "Gardasil" (today available for Australians who have the $400 spare for their daughters! I will be saving!)- and out come the lunatics who have to say dumbass stuff like... the drug will encourage teenagers to be promiscuous. (Oops and as Tigtog says - for the boys too of course!)
Hey - Saudia Arabia has 700 spare prison places for idiot "Christian value" parents who would forgo a vaccine that could spare their daughters cervical cancer incase their daughters interpret that as to go forth and have sex with as many men as possible! Don't mention the sex word - the children might hear! Blah - cant the world be stupid?
P.S Scroll down in Tigtog's blog - I love the 6 year old saying the word "penis" and her father who declares her as "traumatised". Sigh. I thought EVERY parent knows not to react when a child says "fuck" or "dick" but penis? Yep - that poor poor 6 year old.
The mind can boggle I tell ya. It is my fault - I just finished reading Colleen McCullough's Caeser. Now HE had some interesting methods of "correcting"! It can be better if I simply don't think some days.
Ok - and then over at Pavlov's Cat we find the objectional
Hey - Saudia Arabia has 700 spare prison places for idiot "Christian value" parents who would forgo a vaccine that could spare their daughters cervical cancer incase their daughters interpret that as to go forth and have sex with as many men as possible! Don't mention the sex word - the children might hear! Blah - cant the world be stupid?
P.S Scroll down in Tigtog's blog - I love the 6 year old saying the word "penis" and her father who declares her as "traumatised". Sigh. I thought EVERY parent knows not to react when a child says "fuck" or "dick" but penis? Yep - that poor poor 6 year old.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Painting a RENTED house
About a month ago I rang our landlord/lady to ask if I could cut down two trees out the front to make for easier access to the yard with the two boats, three trailers and two car stuff. (I despise being parked in.. it is a terrible and stupid fear as I have no reason whatsoever to be so fussy about this.. but I really hate to find my car is parked in. I don't even like driving! It really isnt the most rational thing about me. But it really will upset me if I feel my car is parked in a way I cannot access it when I want? Actually I can completely not want nor be capable of driving and will still get upset if my car is parked in.)
Anyway - I got the him - not the her. And his answer to my request was "Mel - you CAN DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE" which, ya know in hindsight he is probably going to regret saying. Especially when I tell his wife the reason I did it was because he said I could. It was like the cartoon lightbulb as I placed the phone back into its hook. "Mel - you CAN DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE" It - well I just wish I could hear those words more than I do.
So I interpreted it rather broadly and decided to paint the interior of the house bright yellow. It has always pissed me off that the bad paint job and terrible patch up of the previous tenants holes seem to attract the attention of my guests and friends. (Oh - the hole in William's wall was Lancelot, Christian and William being boys and the hole in the built-in wardrobe was Jane being impatient with the door/her sister and the perfect iron burn mark in the carpet in Anna's room was - according to Anna - always there even if no one saw it for a year and it is the perfect fit for our iron.)
And it is looking really nice. But I forgot that painting is so slow and boring. I shake all the time (just the degree varies ..from very mild to absolutely out of control usually only if I have drunk too much or am completly nervous and agitated and havent eaten) and so I need to hold my painting arm to get the perfect line cut in. I am pretty fussy too.. if I am going to do a job it has to be perfect.
And it is painfully obvious I am not used to hard work. My whole body is in agony and the climbing and balancing is not as easy as I remembered it ten years ago. But it looks lovely and is bright and cheery.
Maybe, in hindsight bright, yellow wasnt a good idea. It seems to be attracting bugs. Wonderful. It is also terribly clean looking which makes the blue and red sofa's look very dirty. Alright, they are dirty. Britex time. After painting etc.
To me - it is also a conclusion. An admission that I am not just camping here and am living here. That is a good thing. Perpetually feeling like you are just camping isnt a good way to be. From grey with terrible mismatches to bright happy yellow of daisy style.
Anyway - I got the him - not the her. And his answer to my request was "Mel - you CAN DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE" which, ya know in hindsight he is probably going to regret saying. Especially when I tell his wife the reason I did it was because he said I could. It was like the cartoon lightbulb as I placed the phone back into its hook. "Mel - you CAN DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE" It - well I just wish I could hear those words more than I do.
So I interpreted it rather broadly and decided to paint the interior of the house bright yellow. It has always pissed me off that the bad paint job and terrible patch up of the previous tenants holes seem to attract the attention of my guests and friends. (Oh - the hole in William's wall was Lancelot, Christian and William being boys and the hole in the built-in wardrobe was Jane being impatient with the door/her sister and the perfect iron burn mark in the carpet in Anna's room was - according to Anna - always there even if no one saw it for a year and it is the perfect fit for our iron.)
And it is looking really nice. But I forgot that painting is so slow and boring. I shake all the time (just the degree varies ..from very mild to absolutely out of control usually only if I have drunk too much or am completly nervous and agitated and havent eaten) and so I need to hold my painting arm to get the perfect line cut in. I am pretty fussy too.. if I am going to do a job it has to be perfect.
And it is painfully obvious I am not used to hard work. My whole body is in agony and the climbing and balancing is not as easy as I remembered it ten years ago. But it looks lovely and is bright and cheery.
Maybe, in hindsight bright, yellow wasnt a good idea. It seems to be attracting bugs. Wonderful. It is also terribly clean looking which makes the blue and red sofa's look very dirty. Alright, they are dirty. Britex time. After painting etc.
To me - it is also a conclusion. An admission that I am not just camping here and am living here. That is a good thing. Perpetually feeling like you are just camping isnt a good way to be. From grey with terrible mismatches to bright happy yellow of daisy style.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Interesting Katrina aftermath blog
Found this blog whilst checking out Elsewhere's travelling blog - both are very interesting. I think it is very sensible to try blog whilst travelling - all those times we have travelled around Queensland and I can no longer remember names of places? It isn't just that for a while I thought I would have to wait three weeks for pictures and stories. Honestly.
I will have to look later and see if there are any interesting ones about Larry? (And I wonder why Robyn removed hers?)
I will have to look later and see if there are any interesting ones about Larry? (And I wonder why Robyn removed hers?)
Thursday, August 24, 2006
No stripping at funerals!
There you go!
A pleasant change maybe from drunk-off-her-tits Aunt Mabel stripping whilst Uncle Bill falls after his beer into the grave? Funerals are funerals no matter where you are!
It sounds pretty familiar to me. Except I guess all the ones I attended no one could afford to pay strippers so we just supplied them ourselves. Or someone keeps supplying more booze.
A pleasant change maybe from drunk-off-her-tits Aunt Mabel stripping whilst Uncle Bill falls after his beer into the grave? Funerals are funerals no matter where you are!
It sounds pretty familiar to me. Except I guess all the ones I attended no one could afford to pay strippers so we just supplied them ourselves. Or someone keeps supplying more booze.
Theodore
Christian went to Theodore this week for three days with work. I agree with Big Mama - it sucks when your partner is away!
Apparantly These pictures are Theodore. They went there to work on a new sub division. I should listen to what they actually do - but alas I dont listen very well sometimes.
This is partly because as I look at the photos he took - it alarms me that he finds the yard with all the dead tractors as fascinating. He would do that to our yard if I allowed him to. Actually - he is always trying to achieve this look - but thankfully we have Listers - who will remove anything on wheels for free.(The picture of IGA was for Anna - IGA's are EVERYWHERE!) 
Anyhoo - I had a plan of all these things I wanted to finish/achieve while he was away and I - achieved NONE. I haven't finished the shellaking; I havent re-sorted the kitchen cuboards and sidetable out; I havent put together and posted all the stuff I have been meaning to send my family; I didnt work on the kids cooking/scrap book;etc etc. Could ramble on for ages there!Really - other than taxi, cook and make half hearted starts at stuff I did NOTHING.
Rocky the wonderdog was very miserable. To commiserate he chose to sleep on Christian's pillows. William also decided to sleep with me. (I was not previously aware of how loudly he snores)If it wasn't for me hearing all the odd noises of the night - I didnt have to listen hard - Rocky chose to bark his head off at every noise from the safety of my bed.
Before Christian left - I lost his debit card. Two weeks earlier HE lost the card. DREADFUL MEL berated Christian with words like "irresponsible; careless; absolutely impossible and stupid". Such words were not used when I lost the damn card.
Anyway - the card has been found and he has to pick it up from the bank tomorrow (Friday is the only day the bank is actually open when he isnt at work) Kinda like forced savings! He shall have his new boat motor very soon.
BUT - doesn't absence make the heart grow fonder! My churlish behaviour when he is under my feet, eating everything in sight (especially when I have visitors coming and he is eating the stuff I am preparing for them),sitting on furniture when he is filthy dirty straight home from work, the rotten habit of scraping his boots of mud at the front door, taking over my art/decorating projects - oh the list goes on!
STUPID MEL decided the way to handle the mouse in the trap situation in Christian's absence was to hoik it out the back door - trap and wee pretty dead thing (Yes - I find mice very pretty and that is why I hate them dead)...... was in hindsight a very stupid thing to do. Of course, the dogs found it and played with it for a day and bought it back inside. Naturally the dogs waited until I had a visitor before bringing the thing inside. Of course.
SO - our partners certainly have their uses aside from sex when you want it and to carry heavy things. Best we get him the new boat motor soon.
Christian thought I would like a picture of the bouganvillia. And of course he is right - it does look splendid. I didn't even mention that he could of moved the sticks and orange plastic first. Bravo to the nice Mel!
Friday, August 18, 2006
New Fridge and freezer
Kids love the cardboard boxes from whitegoods. William is not too old for them - I had thought of giving them to younger kids whom I thought would enjoy it. Twelve is not too old to still love to play with boxes. When Will heard my idea to give away the prized boxes he was disgusted with me.
Last weekend he and his mate A painted the fridge box into their version of the tardis. It is completely nothing like I would of made - but hey it is Will's box. He has been SLEEPING in the freezer box. Yes - I agree there is something wrong with practising to be a homeless person.
And YES his room normally is as messy as that. The tardis idea comes from the times my girlfriends and I have wine and nibblies - or coffee - whatever and they are amazed at how many kids come in and out of Will's room when no one ever seems to know exactly how many are in there. Especially me. Will has great mates and somehow they all fit in the room. I can hear boys playing soccer outside so I am sometimes surprised to find "extras" in his room playing Xbox, gameboy or board games. I have just learnt never to assume I am alone in the house. My friends find it amusing that it doesnt worry me.
Last weekend he and his mate A painted the fridge box into their version of the tardis. It is completely nothing like I would of made - but hey it is Will's box. He has been SLEEPING in the freezer box. Yes - I agree there is something wrong with practising to be a homeless person.
And YES his room normally is as messy as that. The tardis idea comes from the times my girlfriends and I have wine and nibblies - or coffee - whatever and they are amazed at how many kids come in and out of Will's room when no one ever seems to know exactly how many are in there. Especially me. Will has great mates and somehow they all fit in the room. I can hear boys playing soccer outside so I am sometimes surprised to find "extras" in his room playing Xbox, gameboy or board games. I have just learnt never to assume I am alone in the house. My friends find it amusing that it doesnt worry me.
Birthday partys and pleasant walks
Today was J's birthday party (another lovely local kid who frequents our home and heart)- sensibly held at the Marina. All parents know the horror of hosting them in our own homes. I offered to make the cake. Well - actually I have made J's cakes for the past couple of years (barring last year) and he doesn't let me forget when his cake is due.
That cake is meant to be a dinasaur. You just have to use your imagination. Sometimes things dont end up looking as wonderful as I originally planned them. J didn't seem disappointed at all though.
While the party was being held Christian, Anna, myself and Dotti the wonderdog (who you may recall is completely deaf and somewhat...... difficult to train) decided to walk from the first set of swings around the entire marina to Spinniker park and enjoy the sights.
It is not easy to walk Dotti. Really not easy. This photo of Anna and Dotti is kinda how the whole walk goes. She doesnt know whether she wants to a) walk b)run (she is very strong) or c) attack the lead. She desperately wants to say hello to every other dog and will crouch down and pull so hard to get to them. 
The marina makes for a lovely pleasant walk. We strolled and spent a few minutes in a new store that sells jetski's. I managed to drag Christian out with only a small glint in his eye. The store owner was actually very congenial, full of very interesting information - something I find rarely here. A pleasant experience.
By the time we got back to the first set of swings at the marina the party was ready to be packed up and the last of the kids waiting to be picked up.
That cake is meant to be a dinasaur. You just have to use your imagination. Sometimes things dont end up looking as wonderful as I originally planned them. J didn't seem disappointed at all though.
While the party was being held Christian, Anna, myself and Dotti the wonderdog (who you may recall is completely deaf and somewhat...... difficult to train) decided to walk from the first set of swings around the entire marina to Spinniker park and enjoy the sights.
It is not easy to walk Dotti. Really not easy. This photo of Anna and Dotti is kinda how the whole walk goes. She doesnt know whether she wants to a) walk b)run (she is very strong) or c) attack the lead. She desperately wants to say hello to every other dog and will crouch down and pull so hard to get to them. 
The marina makes for a lovely pleasant walk. We strolled and spent a few minutes in a new store that sells jetski's. I managed to drag Christian out with only a small glint in his eye. The store owner was actually very congenial, full of very interesting information - something I find rarely here. A pleasant experience.By the time we got back to the first set of swings at the marina the party was ready to be packed up and the last of the kids waiting to be picked up.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Wednesday 16th August News
Is it just me? Or was today's news more....... revolting than usual? Or did they run out of real news? Or is this the reason I rarely bother to read the news and just rely on television.
There was the horrid story of the 60 puppies dying in a truck fire in the USA. Luckily I read that alone at home and so didn't have to stiffle my sobs or worry about getting teary.
Then there was Warrick Capper now stripping with his new girlfriends male stripper group. The Capper antics in the 80's were gross enough - but this......... oh man... is just plain disgusting.That picture with the mullet was in the 80's for heavens sake. Some people just don't understand the getting older thing. They seem to believe it will earn money. The saddest thing is it probably will. Gross Gross Gross.
Ian Turpie's lying about his sexual impotence to promote a NASAL SPRAY to remedy it. Oh Gawd. I tell ya - it is just plain scarey and WRONG!
Day two of the Queensland State Government campaign for the election and non-stop bitching and griping there. That can get funny though. Yesterday our Federal government was in an uproar over the use of the words "drongo" and "pork chop" during debating. Yep - exciting stuff.
And only in Australia? The sentencing magistrate of an attempted rapist describes him as a "fine young man" before chuffing him off to jail for 12 years. Magistrates can afford better booze I guess?
I think that is why I prefer to read the blogs I like instead. I found Ann Altman's at Ms Fits' site - now THAT is way more interesting!
There was the horrid story of the 60 puppies dying in a truck fire in the USA. Luckily I read that alone at home and so didn't have to stiffle my sobs or worry about getting teary.
Then there was Warrick Capper now stripping with his new girlfriends male stripper group. The Capper antics in the 80's were gross enough - but this......... oh man... is just plain disgusting.That picture with the mullet was in the 80's for heavens sake. Some people just don't understand the getting older thing. They seem to believe it will earn money. The saddest thing is it probably will. Gross Gross Gross.Ian Turpie's lying about his sexual impotence to promote a NASAL SPRAY to remedy it. Oh Gawd. I tell ya - it is just plain scarey and WRONG!
Day two of the Queensland State Government campaign for the election and non-stop bitching and griping there. That can get funny though. Yesterday our Federal government was in an uproar over the use of the words "drongo" and "pork chop" during debating. Yep - exciting stuff.
And only in Australia? The sentencing magistrate of an attempted rapist describes him as a "fine young man" before chuffing him off to jail for 12 years. Magistrates can afford better booze I guess?
I think that is why I prefer to read the blogs I like instead. I found Ann Altman's at Ms Fits' site - now THAT is way more interesting!
Good bugs
Well - maybe not so good for hibiscus. But hey! Hibiscus are tough plants. We call these Harequim beetles. I don't really know if that is the correct name. This is the first one I have found since we left Brisbane over 4 years ago. They also come in a magnificent peacock blue. If you could have your car, dress or hat in these colours you would. They dont seem to mind when you wear them for a few hours. I don't have a hibiscus in our yard so this one was lost. When I finished playing with it I took it two doors down to a neighbours yard who does have hibiscus. (Neighbours probably don't like me an awful lot? Nevermind)
I thoroughly enjoy finding these beetles.It is similar to feeding the ducks, eels and turtles or sitting and watching dolphins play. Doesn't take a terrible lot to keep me amused.
The One that Got Away!
This cod was found dead in the marina last week. Not a mark on it and it apparantly simply died of old age. Love the size of the mouth? (The bad Mel thinks immediately - my death wont be from marauding sharks - no it would be just my luck to be swallowed hole by the damn thing I AM TRYING TO CATCH.)
It was front page of our local paper "The Observer" last week. Pretty cool huh? That would sink our little tinnies!
I suspect I am being an imposter!
This morning - we all overslept. Anna woke me exactly 15 minutes before I had to be at work. There are positives about living in small cities. There are bad things about dressing in a hurry in a dark room. The shirt I had pulled on's colour had faded and looked like I was wearing a bib or a very large drool mark. Thankfully I was only there till 12.30.
I used my "I am awake" face (that I use when I am asleep) and it served me very well. Occasionally I nodded wisely too. I am very grateful that I will never have to use Autocad beyond making it into a pdf, printing, binding or emailing the sucker. Very very grateful. I am almost positive no one heard me snoring. I decided full on erotic daydreams was perfectly acceptable at the bit about using logarithms in Excel.
I kind of understand maths could excite some people. Twenty years ago when I was doing my HSC I battled logarithms. For the life of me I couldnt understand it until a nice tutor told me I was trying to measure the inside of a snail shell. Any other description from any other tutor, teacher or peer could not and would not let me do those bastards. Stuff about atomic mushrooms etc ring a bell but .. NOPE I understood NOTHING. All I wanted to do was pass Maths.
I knew right then when I finally understood WHAT I was trying to do... that there was absolutely no need EVER for me to have to retain that. Never since nor in the future am I going to want to do that. But if you want to do it - that is all fine and well - I will print the sucker out and dispense with it however you see fit. If you like I will add the company logo, page numbers and make a pretty border for you. I have an admiration for people who can do that shit - but no desire too ever do it myself. (Generally I always stamp on snails nowdays too.)
Yep - in hindsight it is a bloody wonder I passed my HSC at all.
I wonder if the engineers think I do understand? Surely NOT! Or worse - that they think when they catch me looking at the maps and graphs I can understand what they are doing with them - I am not I am just trying to find creeks, canals and sandbanks I havent explored yet. Maybe I should just stop doing that incase anyone clicks that I really haven't even the foggiest.
Nevermind - no one has ever complained about my documents, data entry or binding - YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I used my "I am awake" face (that I use when I am asleep) and it served me very well. Occasionally I nodded wisely too. I am very grateful that I will never have to use Autocad beyond making it into a pdf, printing, binding or emailing the sucker. Very very grateful. I am almost positive no one heard me snoring. I decided full on erotic daydreams was perfectly acceptable at the bit about using logarithms in Excel.
I kind of understand maths could excite some people. Twenty years ago when I was doing my HSC I battled logarithms. For the life of me I couldnt understand it until a nice tutor told me I was trying to measure the inside of a snail shell. Any other description from any other tutor, teacher or peer could not and would not let me do those bastards. Stuff about atomic mushrooms etc ring a bell but .. NOPE I understood NOTHING. All I wanted to do was pass Maths.
I knew right then when I finally understood WHAT I was trying to do... that there was absolutely no need EVER for me to have to retain that. Never since nor in the future am I going to want to do that. But if you want to do it - that is all fine and well - I will print the sucker out and dispense with it however you see fit. If you like I will add the company logo, page numbers and make a pretty border for you. I have an admiration for people who can do that shit - but no desire too ever do it myself. (Generally I always stamp on snails nowdays too.)
Yep - in hindsight it is a bloody wonder I passed my HSC at all.
I wonder if the engineers think I do understand? Surely NOT! Or worse - that they think when they catch me looking at the maps and graphs I can understand what they are doing with them - I am not I am just trying to find creeks, canals and sandbanks I havent explored yet. Maybe I should just stop doing that incase anyone clicks that I really haven't even the foggiest.
Nevermind - no one has ever complained about my documents, data entry or binding - YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
My Second Princess is home again
Anna's priceless phone call home to Mummy was this one.
Anna - Mummy!
Me - Yes Anna? How are you?
Anna - Its FREEZING COLD and Mummy you will never guess WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me - THINKING - Which relative/friend has been off his or her tits drunk and dobbed me in for something stupid I did at her age when I was just as beautiful? (She is smarter than me thankfully)
Me - talking - err.. what darling?
Anna - Today I saw "baby lambs" in the WILD.
Me - snort/snot/laugh/ sniffle/snot hahahahahahahhahahahahaha
Anna - Mum.. stop it
Me - snort/snot/laugh/ sniffle/snot hahahahahahahhahahahaha
Anna - Well I have never seen lambs before in the wild - I only saw them at Daycare*
or at the mall out of the "Old MacDonald's Farm trailers before"!
Me - Hahahaha you mean you saw lambs with their mothers in the paddocks.
Anna - You arent paying attention Mum - it is COLD here.
Me - snort/snot/laugh/ sniffle/snot hahahahahahahhahahahaha
Anna - Stop it Mummy - be sensible
Me - I am being sensible darling .. ok and what else have you seen?
Anna - Everyone here has BEAUTIFUL FIRE PLACES.
Me - No crap Anna - should I not buy the new freezer and get a nice brass fireplace?
Anna- Heck yes Mummy - they are so pretty we have done marshmellows every night!
Ok - Me - I give up we have spoilt this kid letting her live in our wonderful weather. Keep your frost/sleet/snow/fog and wild lambs. I ... like to whinge it is too hot.
(Coopers Plains Day Care Centre was the best ever child care centre... second only to Samford Family daycare and YMCA at Acacia Ridge should rot in hell) and
Anna - Mummy!
Me - Yes Anna? How are you?
Anna - Its FREEZING COLD and Mummy you will never guess WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me - THINKING - Which relative/friend has been off his or her tits drunk and dobbed me in for something stupid I did at her age when I was just as beautiful? (She is smarter than me thankfully)
Me - talking - err.. what darling?
Anna - Today I saw "baby lambs" in the WILD.
Me - snort/snot/laugh/ sniffle/snot hahahahahahahhahahahahaha
Anna - Mum.. stop it
Me - snort/snot/laugh/ sniffle/snot hahahahahahahhahahahaha
Anna - Well I have never seen lambs before in the wild - I only saw them at Daycare*
or at the mall out of the "Old MacDonald's Farm trailers before"!
Me - Hahahaha you mean you saw lambs with their mothers in the paddocks.
Anna - You arent paying attention Mum - it is COLD here.
Me - snort/snot/laugh/ sniffle/snot hahahahahahahhahahahaha
Anna - Stop it Mummy - be sensible
Me - I am being sensible darling .. ok and what else have you seen?
Anna - Everyone here has BEAUTIFUL FIRE PLACES.
Me - No crap Anna - should I not buy the new freezer and get a nice brass fireplace?
Anna- Heck yes Mummy - they are so pretty we have done marshmellows every night!
Ok - Me - I give up we have spoilt this kid letting her live in our wonderful weather. Keep your frost/sleet/snow/fog and wild lambs. I ... like to whinge it is too hot.
(Coopers Plains Day Care Centre was the best ever child care centre... second only to Samford Family daycare and YMCA at Acacia Ridge should rot in hell) and
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Anna does the cold
I sent Anna to her older sisters father's funeral. (Dont correct my apostrophes ffs) It wasnt just the cold. My new job, Anna never being there.. the chance to meet my family (which didnt happen)
Apparantly Sara has a very nice new boyfriend called Chris. The DAY Anna and I were mucking around in Rockhampton ............... Ok... I figure in Rockhampton no one really knows I am a peasant. So i was jumping around at CAPTAIN SNOOZE trying the beds. Anna suffers from old habits die hard. I spent 15 years smacking her and her siblings for jumping on furniture... now she just WILL NOT DO IT. Big ugly salespeople have to lie next to me to see how a bed I cannot afford will feel. Anyway I am mucking around on .. like the worlds greatest most expensive bed while Anna is begging me to stop.. and who is there.... SARA'S BF FROM her brief... (miss a few words here in case she reads them) visit from hell. He is a nice boy and he showed me the budget beds,,, afterwards. He has a new tinney. He was so nice. It was so awful to get busted jumping on furniture again.
Oh oh.. this all makes no sense.
Not a lot makes sense to me.
Oh .. and Cassie and M tell me stories about rapid heart beating. I wrote a heap back.... and lost it all.
Apparantly Sara has a very nice new boyfriend called Chris. The DAY Anna and I were mucking around in Rockhampton ............... Ok... I figure in Rockhampton no one really knows I am a peasant. So i was jumping around at CAPTAIN SNOOZE trying the beds. Anna suffers from old habits die hard. I spent 15 years smacking her and her siblings for jumping on furniture... now she just WILL NOT DO IT. Big ugly salespeople have to lie next to me to see how a bed I cannot afford will feel. Anyway I am mucking around on .. like the worlds greatest most expensive bed while Anna is begging me to stop.. and who is there.... SARA'S BF FROM her brief... (miss a few words here in case she reads them) visit from hell. He is a nice boy and he showed me the budget beds,,, afterwards. He has a new tinney. He was so nice. It was so awful to get busted jumping on furniture again.
Oh oh.. this all makes no sense.
Not a lot makes sense to me.
Oh .. and Cassie and M tell me stories about rapid heart beating. I wrote a heap back.... and lost it all.
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