Ok - I am over it.. next...

Thank you my southern new found friends. (Hmmm funny I feel like that about you hey?)

After the drama on Friday night - Anna (daughter no 2) told me that her father (Tom - an ex) had told her on the telephone that he had absolutely had Jane's (daughter no 3) behaviour - and he was going to send her back to live with me and attend a public school.

Luckily that seems to have been the BEER talking. I was afraid at first. But come Saturday and both sobriety and sanity prevail....and although I DESPISE arguments with Tom - I was ready for it.. and it didnt happen. He can be a sensible man.

I guess tomorrow we will find out the schools response to both Janes' actions and my arguments. After work I will ring the school and discuss the problem again. Or I could simply bury my head in the sand and wait for the danger/ickiness to pass. Mondays can be like that. If she is given her "exit course" as the boarding supervisor told her she would have.... I will quickly print out and mail Tom the information on other boarding schools.

Jane's boarding school is actually cheap. Tom - who neither cooks or cleans for himself REALLY found that sending Jane to school for $250 a week was cheaper than trying to look after her himself. Occasionally he tries to complain to me about how much he has to pay. I immediately go into my own tirade of how.. before this arrangement myself or the stepfather have paid for every morsel of food, roof over head, education requirement, sporting activities, medical expenses and then I can REALLY go on about the amount of work, sleepless nights, property damage, intellectual damage, PHYSICAL DAMAGE and then I venture into the public humiliation stories.

He ALWAYS pours himself a drink when I do this. And (almost always) I win.

Because Tom is self employed he can claim most expenses. His three week holidays with his racehorses... are all tax deductions. USUALLY he doesnt have to pay me child support. He can buy horses worth tens of thousands of dollars, new vehicles to transport them and stay at nice hotels around the country. For two years he had to pay me $10 a fortnight. It took me eighteen months to FIGURE OUT WHY THIS TEN DOLLARS A FORTNIGHT WAS GOING INTO MY ACCOUNT. Child support laws in Australia are just fooked up. Last year he won a considerable amount of prizemoney and got ordered to pay me just under $500 a month.

Christian (step father) is a labourer who earns about $50k and does huge overtime. Sometimes I do paid work and more often than not I dont. I just do housekeeping (yes badly) and often volunteer work. I am always busy believe it or not. Usually I never get all the stuff I am meant to do done. I really never get the time to finish reading the books I want, or to draw or paint, I have heaps of stuff i want to fiddle with on the pc....

Child Support Agency told the ATO and Centrelink that we get an extra $500 a month, so our government allowances where cut. I rang and said.. well I dont actually get this money.... and they said.. either you go with your original (fifteen years ago when I told child support I would collect it myself because the amount was NIL... sigh... IDIOTS) ..SIGH.. either I go with my original Or I hand it over to child support agency who will get the dollars out of him no matter what ..... Oh yeah. Like I am really going to be a part of them taking his stuff of him during lean times to compensate for better times. It is a domestic violence situation waiting to happen. And being realistic... his assets are eventually my kids assets. Shove the money we will manage just fine without it.

Arseholes.

I HAPPEN to like peace. I like to be able to talk to Tom like a normal person and not fight. I like it when we all have dinner, Christmas and birthdays together. I dont mind it when he needs my help with paperwork or similar. I like it when we act like friends. I know we are not - and his resentment of me is always brimming.... I leave when he has had a few beers and I laugh when the girls tell me what he says about me. Oddly enough, I loved this man once. And I almost feel sorry for him that he hasnt had the times with the kids that I have. Well - almost.

I can see why other seperated couples are so bitter and twisted though. When we seperated we had many.. odd times. One time he wouldnt pay the mortgages cause his bush lawyer mates told him I would get the lot. That placed a hell of a stress on me. Three toddlers and a $2k a month mortgage on two properties and thirty stables. The bank was pretty unhappy about the missing payments - and I had rent to pay, two toddler girls and a baby in hospital. Then we had a stage where we decided to continue our original.. subdivide and sell slowly to make money .... then I got sued by a horrid cow that threatened to bankrupt me and Christian... and would of affected my assets with Tom - so I accepted a nominal settlement to protect the NSW interests. When I told Tom - pay me $20 k and I will sign out... he who crys so broke ALL THE TIME... had that money in three days. In the end the horrid cow got fook all.

But I am still glad I protected the other people involved.

Tomorrow will bring another chapter. Or if I am lucky - not. But mannnnnnn am I glad there has been no confrontational phone calls with Tom.