Another whingy post!

My three youngest children have a father who would of made a more useful brick for them to sit on. At least his use would of been regular and needed.

Pre the MOTH (Man of the house aka the stepfather) and when sperm donor and I were together creating these beautiful people... as a husband and father he was ... difficult but I was too lenient to really recognise it. I really never knew our relationship was terrible until I had to move to the city because of my sons health problems.. and realised life was a hell of a lot easier without someone shouting at me to keep the toddlers and baby quiet, clean up the toys and mess and complaining breakfast, lunch and dinner was either not hot enough or delivered late. And - along the way I simply never went back. Life wasn't easy alone.. and we then faced mad financial bullshit too... (bushlawyers at the local pub told him not to pay the mortgage because I would get everything etc) But life without his input was certainly easier. The toddler girls and baby son where quite happy if I mashed banana onto toast or fed it via a spoon. They didn't want a hot breakfast. For the first entire year I did not eat beef at all - their fathers staple diet.I still wont eat it twice in a row.

Anyway - sperm donor is FURIOUS that I have had to tell Child Support Agency I do not and have not collected any money from him. For a few years.. he paid me $10 a fortnight. As we all know that goes a long way to caring for some goldfish.

I am feeling nasty so best I keep it quick.

The reason I have to tell CSA he isn't paying - is because now that our initial property purchases plus the income from the estate of his late mother and the fact his horses actually won some races.... means he earns too much money. And therefore, is meant to provide support for his children. And if I don't collect what the CSA says he is to pay.. it is considered part of MOTH's and my income. MOTH works 10-12 hours a day and has fed/clothed/housed etc 2/3 of these kids for 100% of 11 years and 1/3 of these kids for 8 years. Sperm donor does pay Jane's boarding fees. If I had received the money that he was calculated able to pay.... I could of paid Jane's boarding school fees with that money. And bought a new small car. ETC.

He hasn't lodged a few tax returns. I know he made a miscalculation with the sale of the last house .. and suspect he is up for a large amount of capital gains tax... but aside from that.. there will be a considerable amount of income.

He is furious that he has to pay me money..something he always promised he would never do. When I was threatened with bankruptcy over a dog bite case.. he gave me the $20k i asked for to get my name off those properties so fast it was amazing.

But the reason I am whinging is at the awful time he gives the kids over this.... fact he had to pay me money (that I haven't received and that he apparently has appealed and has a new yearly estimate on his income that he has to pay me $111 a year child support). Anna gets distressed over his phone calls.. where he says what a bitch I am taking all his money. He tells all the kids he knows I am keeping the kids away from him because of the money. This is rubbish... he bores them to death and treats them as unpaid servants.. they prefer to stay home. Jane chooses to have her holidays with us...

It is kinda nice reading blogs to see I am not alone in this rubbish. But the money he has been ordered to pay me... is already spent on money I owe my 16 year old daughter..school and sporting fees for the children, overdue payments I fell behind in meeting the kids fees and there should be $300 left for us to buy new school clothes, soccer gear and I do want a new tower for one of the pc's. That the kids use..

The kids do know better than the garbage he is sprouting. But I still hate the sadness in their eyes as they deal with this.

Whilst we in this household argue about the little things... I was cranky at MOTH yesterday for playing the martyr with working on a cupboard for the kitchen...and then complaining about how I kept him from his pleasures... MOTH and Anna argued over money for the upcoming cheer leading competition and performance at State of Origin in Brisbane that costs a fortune... Jane and Sara (my oldest daughter) seem to be plotting their own plans... I lost my temper at having to cook two separate dinners yesterday.... Sperm donor has the hide to whinge about having to pay money for his kids. $10 a fortnight for three years and suddenly he as to pay $1700.

Jane (at boarding school) cant continue her job because Sperm donor wont do the taxiing. I whinge like all hell about the taxiing - but I do it anyway. He doesn't deal with the illnesses, the hurt feelings, the covering of books, the help with homework, the appointments, the games to watch, the "keeping up appearances" (real for us - we are such comparative peasants to the kids peers),the constant growth spurts, he has "talks" (read directions) to me about William's tumours and how I should do something. Do WHAT. Nope I cant put a question mark there. Because there is no fucking question. If he is so worried.. why cant he drag him there and do the sit and wait while someone takes a saw to him? Blah I know I will have to face this.. and probably sooner than I want to. But I just want to smack him when he tells me I have too. I did the first one.. it was horrible. I dont want to do that again.

I want to write about the funny stuff that happens every day. How the dogs amuse me all the time. Some of my friends are having wonderful times. A couple of them are having terrible times.

I havent had an orgasm in almost a week. That always makes me bad tempered. Maybe thats it.