Daughters' No2 and 3 are at their biological father's place. (When I am feeling nasty I call him the sperm donor.)
Hard to feel nasty about someone going through something as dramatic as this. Saturday morning all registered horse workers were advised that no racehorse could be transported ANYWHERE. Complete quarantine. A dozen horses all wanting to go to their training and racing.... confined to their stables. Rotten luck and timing. A million possibilities and things to be thought about. But definitely nice that the girls chose to be with their father and try to help him.
Rumours are rife - I have done a little fretting. It is a tough industry but... will it raise prices or bring them down? How the heck will Spermdonor survive this if it goes on for too long? How badly will our investments suffer? Could we benefit from it if we be a little cautious now? I am pretty sure his position is safe for some time. Why do I stay in love with such a fickle industry? Why the heck didn't we push the issue of his retirement to a property that allowed greater movement more?
The thing I really LOVE - is his girls stood by him during what would be a terrible worrying time for him. Not that he is concerned about the equine flu... it shouldn't affect him... but the ban on movement stops all racing, training, spelling and will make his life so much harder. A dozen antsy racehorses in their stables wanting to get out. And they cant go anywhere.
OK - so the girls get off a few days school helping dad out. I choose not to believe that is their reasons for helping. It makes me happier.
And William alone is so much easier than his sisters. I can feed him toasted sandwiches and he is happy. I don't seem to have mad amounts of work to do. No one is stressing me about what they want to wear or why I have to play taxi a half dozen times tomorrow.
Shame school is so important. I kinda like the girls looking after their Dad.
The dogs however seem to be annoyed the girls are not home. One of them chewed up Jane's mattress.. so I turned the mattress over and made the bed. It looks fine to me. Both dogs claim they didn't do it. I speak fluent naughty dog as well as toddler.
On the weekend my friend Hope visited unexpectedly. I was meant to visit her on Sunday - but shit happened and I never got there. I should of rang or something - but I didn't. My claim is emotional exhaustion. Too many things happening.
I adore my kids at work. I suspect that seeing this is my first foray into childcare somehow I just received the best kids ever. They are so funny - so loving - a couple so brilliant.... some not so brilliant but... oh I dunno.
Adult People aren't bugging me as badly as they usually do. Things that would normally annoy me... don't seem to be.
I haven't shook this flu. I am still snotty and croaky and I still let the kids cuddle me knowing full well they are sick. I still don't listen to any seasoned worker or colleague that tells me.. don't pick them up or cuddle them or else you will stay sick. I still laugh when little Annie (not her real name) sneezes boogers all over me... and I still pick the coughing kids up and tell them its ok when they look scared.
Maybe this week we should cook chicken soup?
Daughter No1 was a wonderful help last week in planning our holiday that I am getting scared of. I worry the problems with this equine flu will affect us.. I worry that I think our landlady wants to get rid of us... suddenly giving us notices we never had before when I normally breach every single rule...(for instance... dogs are not allowed inside) My dogs complain about the temperature for heavens sake. They tell me turn on the heater and air conditioner. And I do it. I worry I should spend money more wisely... yet i still spend madly on something like a seafood dinner.
But I keep myself happy. Sometimes life is not very nice.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Almost Spring - and the garden still gives us pleasure
At the beginning of this year MOTH and I gave up our decision not to garden. We live in a rented house here... and I didn't like the idea of putting heaps of work into a garden that wasn't entirely ours. We just gave up... it is too nice to garden to go without. 
So - we have been dragging other peoples rubbish home building our gardens.
You are wondering why we erected the hideous corrugated iron fence before the garden shed?
WELL - that is to block out the view of the neighbours over the back. Sounds mean? tough. I LOVE it... and as I sit on my chair sipping my wine and apple & guava juice... I feel completely alone as my babies grow around me.
And we found all that old corrugated iron up the road when someone was replacing their roof. They looked very pleased at the two mad people dragging their bits of iron up the street and returning with a trailer.And yes we dragged home the bits of concrete to make the path when someone replaced their driveway.They also looked at us like we were mad as we hauled the chunks away.
See the pink Marguerite daisy - $2 markdown dead plants at the local supermarket. It has since made itself into 6 new plants.... by me pushing down the branches and covering with dirt .. waiting a little and then digging up with the new roots.
So - we have been dragging other peoples rubbish home building our gardens.You are wondering why we erected the hideous corrugated iron fence before the garden shed?
WELL - that is to block out the view of the neighbours over the back. Sounds mean? tough. I LOVE it... and as I sit on my chair sipping my wine and apple & guava juice... I feel completely alone as my babies grow around me.
And we found all that old corrugated iron up the road when someone was replacing their roof. They looked very pleased at the two mad people dragging their bits of iron up the street and returning with a trailer.And yes we dragged home the bits of concrete to make the path when someone replaced their driveway.They also looked at us like we were mad as we hauled the chunks away.
See the pink Marguerite daisy - $2 markdown dead plants at the local supermarket. It has since made itself into 6 new plants.... by me pushing down the branches and covering with dirt .. waiting a little and then digging up with the new roots.
In the photo above is some rosemary I bought on markdown at the supermarket for 50 cents and shoved in the dirt. It has let me put another branch that did take into another garden already. The dwarf bean has produced about 30 beans. There is capsicum, day lillies. alyssum, nasturtium, a climber I just like that everyone else thinks is a weed and the piece of lattice I found at the recycle shop for $1.
The vegetable patch is still thriving. I planted so much pak choy that we couldn't eat it all! Many went to seed. The red and green salad lettuce we pick daily as we need it and haven't had to buy lettuce for months. Nor have we had to buy capsicum or tomatoes in the past three months.
No one needs this much parsley or coriander. There is more too in the other gardens. In the future one or two seedlings at a time will be sufficient. I got carried away. I only have one workmate who appreciates me bringing her bunches of it. My girlfriend Joy bought me the kaffir lime - and the leaves are great with fish.
My dogs have learnt to stop digging in the gardens.(Err well almost - that is why you can see ugly wires across the gardens sometimes - a deterrent of sorts) They are trying to compensate with the rest of the yard. I can sit on the sides of my garden and pull a weed or two - admire the growth, sip my wine and pretend to listen to MOTH's day. I don't have to bend over or dig madly.
Why are most of our capsicums growing a funny sideways? My son and his soccer ball - that is why. The plants keep supplying the capsicum so I don't whinge too much.
Ornamentals are mixed with herbs, vegetables, lettuce and weeds.
Slowly but surely... it is becoming our "other" sanctuary. Other peoples rubbish, plants propagated and shared from friends... the dogs and the illusion that we are alone out there. And the most money we spent was for the dirt in the vegetable gardens - so under $100. The only plant I paid full price for was the passion fruit vine (forgetting you only need one passion fruit a year for pavlova) and Joy bought me my lime tree.
Maybe this weekend we will get time to build another patch! (Yes - we will mow the lawns because we have daughter no3's and my girlfriend Megs' combined birthday party Saturday) And the boat motor has to go in for a service! So that will be exciting!
And the answer is YES - the dogs have dug heaps up and I often come home from work to dirt all over the ground and torn up plants. The dogs actually appear to be pointing at each other too.
Doesn't take a dreadful lot to keep me amused!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Quick what is happening
I have been sick with the flu and it has made me ill tempered and probably not the person I prefer to be. I think being sick makes me intolerant and probably insensitive.
Anna (daughter No2) had most of last week off school due to the same flu. MOTH had a day off and my son soldiers on mostly because if you have a day off school you also have to forgo any soccer activities as well.
I had two half days off... Thursday only half my kids turned up and a nice coworker suggested I go home... I rang in for Friday off work and the director told me I had to ring at 6 - 6.30 am and not an hour before I was due to work... so I went in? and they sent me home! Sometimes policy and procedure just goes mad. I dont think I will ever have a real sick day because I wouldnt dream of trying to use a telephone at 6 am.
I havent replaced my cell phone... nor have I considered it.
Jane (daughter No3) has a new babysitting job that could become a bit of a handful. She still tries to find "herself" and sometimes does a dismal job. She text messaged her sister from the toilets of the school.... that she preferred to hide there rather than sit and have lunch alone. Her concern with her appearance worries me...But if I get too worried MOTH worries and he...well he just doesnt help matters.....and I hate it when they all fight. My girls are all like little dogs... they may have fear but together they are a nasty little pack that do bite....
I did get a healthier tax return than I was expecting. But I am a little tired of always feeling under financial pressure and so have just put it all away for a while - at least till the holiday to see daughter No1 and my grandson.
Everything will be fine... it always is. In the end.
Anna (daughter No2) had most of last week off school due to the same flu. MOTH had a day off and my son soldiers on mostly because if you have a day off school you also have to forgo any soccer activities as well.
I had two half days off... Thursday only half my kids turned up and a nice coworker suggested I go home... I rang in for Friday off work and the director told me I had to ring at 6 - 6.30 am and not an hour before I was due to work... so I went in? and they sent me home! Sometimes policy and procedure just goes mad. I dont think I will ever have a real sick day because I wouldnt dream of trying to use a telephone at 6 am.
I havent replaced my cell phone... nor have I considered it.
Jane (daughter No3) has a new babysitting job that could become a bit of a handful. She still tries to find "herself" and sometimes does a dismal job. She text messaged her sister from the toilets of the school.... that she preferred to hide there rather than sit and have lunch alone. Her concern with her appearance worries me...But if I get too worried MOTH worries and he...well he just doesnt help matters.....and I hate it when they all fight. My girls are all like little dogs... they may have fear but together they are a nasty little pack that do bite....
I did get a healthier tax return than I was expecting. But I am a little tired of always feeling under financial pressure and so have just put it all away for a while - at least till the holiday to see daughter No1 and my grandson.
Everything will be fine... it always is. In the end.
Rudd and the strip club
Cannot help myself - have to post this.
"Four years ago, Kevin Rudd got drunk and took himself into a strip club," Senator Brown said.
"Four years ago, John Howard, sober, took Australia into the Iraq war. I think the electorate can judge which one did the more harm," he said.
Eloquent huh?
"Four years ago, Kevin Rudd got drunk and took himself into a strip club," Senator Brown said.
"Four years ago, John Howard, sober, took Australia into the Iraq war. I think the electorate can judge which one did the more harm," he said.
Eloquent huh?
The Screenplay - Howard In Iraq
This came in my email last week via my aunt. I just thought it too good not to share. My reading is so not up to scratch lately! Thank heavens for Crikey huh?
Howard in Iraq -- the screenplay
Mungo MacCallum writes:
Scene: A secure office somewhere in Baghdad. Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki is seated behind a desk checking the latest casualty figures. There is a knock at the door...
Maliki: (resignedly) Come in.
(Enter a small, grinning, perspiring, twitching person)
Maliki: And you are …?
Howard (for it is he): John Winston Howard, Prime Minister of Australia. G’day, or Shalom, as I think you people say.
Maliki: No. (pause) Australian, is it? The Australian ambassador told me a joke the other day. He said “John Hunt is a coward.” I did not understand. Perhaps you can explain … no? Then what is your business?
Howard: Well, it’s about all the fighting that’s going on among you lot. I can tell you we’re getting pretty sick of it Down Under.
Maliki: It may surprise you to learn that we don’t like it much either. So …?
Howard: Well, I’m here to tell you that unless you pull up your socks and do something about it, we’ll have to take action. The opinion polls won’t stand for it much longer. We’ll have to consider the position of our soldiers. They might even have to leave.
Maliki: Yes, I suppose that might help. But remind me: you have soldiers here? What exactly do they do?
Howard: Well, some of them guard our Embassy …
Maliki: The Australian Embassy. That’s very helpful.
Howard: … and there are others down South, in the thick if it.
Maliki: Doing what?
Howard: Well, until recently they were looking after the Japanese.
Maliki: Yes, the Japanese ... I believe they have left. So are you too planning to cut and run?
Howard: Oh no no no no no no no. Far from it. It is just that if things don’t improve public support for our presence here may no longer be sustainable.
Maliki: But as I understand it there has never been any public support. Almost from the first day the Australian people have vigorously opposed your sycophantic, token involvement. Why are you now mouthing this empty rhetoric, my little man of steel?
Howard: Well, I have this election coming on …
Maliki: Ah, an election. I understand. Well, good luck to you. And may I give you one piece of advice?
Howard: Oh yes, thank you Caliph or Sultan or whatever it is, please please. I’m a little desperate …
Maliki: Change your name to John Hunt.
(Curtain)
Howard in Iraq -- the screenplay
Mungo MacCallum writes:
Scene: A secure office somewhere in Baghdad. Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki is seated behind a desk checking the latest casualty figures. There is a knock at the door...
Maliki: (resignedly) Come in.
(Enter a small, grinning, perspiring, twitching person)
Maliki: And you are …?
Howard (for it is he): John Winston Howard, Prime Minister of Australia. G’day, or Shalom, as I think you people say.
Maliki: No. (pause) Australian, is it? The Australian ambassador told me a joke the other day. He said “John Hunt is a coward.” I did not understand. Perhaps you can explain … no? Then what is your business?
Howard: Well, it’s about all the fighting that’s going on among you lot. I can tell you we’re getting pretty sick of it Down Under.
Maliki: It may surprise you to learn that we don’t like it much either. So …?
Howard: Well, I’m here to tell you that unless you pull up your socks and do something about it, we’ll have to take action. The opinion polls won’t stand for it much longer. We’ll have to consider the position of our soldiers. They might even have to leave.
Maliki: Yes, I suppose that might help. But remind me: you have soldiers here? What exactly do they do?
Howard: Well, some of them guard our Embassy …
Maliki: The Australian Embassy. That’s very helpful.
Howard: … and there are others down South, in the thick if it.
Maliki: Doing what?
Howard: Well, until recently they were looking after the Japanese.
Maliki: Yes, the Japanese ... I believe they have left. So are you too planning to cut and run?
Howard: Oh no no no no no no no. Far from it. It is just that if things don’t improve public support for our presence here may no longer be sustainable.
Maliki: But as I understand it there has never been any public support. Almost from the first day the Australian people have vigorously opposed your sycophantic, token involvement. Why are you now mouthing this empty rhetoric, my little man of steel?
Howard: Well, I have this election coming on …
Maliki: Ah, an election. I understand. Well, good luck to you. And may I give you one piece of advice?
Howard: Oh yes, thank you Caliph or Sultan or whatever it is, please please. I’m a little desperate …
Maliki: Change your name to John Hunt.
(Curtain)
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Pearls of wisdom.....
Currently I am a very poorly paid assistant at a Childcare centre wherein I take care of 12 two year olds usually with someone who has had formal training in childcare. I love it - the kids are amazing and smart, loving and hideously funny. My usual coworker is a pleasure to work with and has a similar attitude to kids. Some of my kids are so wonderful that I should be paying to play with them. That is no crap - they are that much fun.
Sadly - occasions mean I have to deal with ... other women. People. Adults.
Sharing this weeks "pearls of wisdom" that another worker decided to impart to me. The first one was where on noticing one of our walls is particularly old looking in the decorating she commented that I should "Come in on a weekend and undercoat it so that I could paint it fresh!"
Uhuh. I wont go into how poor the pay is in the childcare industry. Or how I think 99% of us work to have our weekends...
Because I have learnt that if I speak when someone says something stupid to me it almost always gets me in trouble (eventually fired)if I retaliate with the first thing I think of - I just chose not to speak to any adults for the rest of the day.
I love the kids - they completely don't mind if I chose not to talk at all.
But this one was possibly better.
Coworker walks past my room just as I say "Small child, please put the chair back at the table where it belongs." (Obviously child's name is not small child and I don't call them that)
She stops, and tells me, in all seriousness "I studied child psychology for three years and the experts tell you that you should NEVER say please to a toddler...instead you should say "Thank you for putting your chair back where it belongs" to indicate you are in control of the situation. Never say please to a toddler."
I bite tongue. Firstly small child is not, has no intention and probably wont put the damn chair back in any instance because he plans to use it in yet another escape attempt or mission to launch on his playmates. Let ALONE the consequences of saying that you should never use simple manners on a child....
I will ALWAYS say please and thank you to any child I work with because it is simple manners. I don't expect them to say either because honestly - only about five of my kids have a vocabulary that includes that. A couple of my kids don't have ANY vocabulary past "Mummy, uhoh" and "oops". Mummy means anyone they like who they want the attention of.... Uhoh means anything from I bit the kid crying next to me or I opened the door and three of my playmates just escaped... and OOps means when your back was turned I got hold of the paint and it is now all over the floor or somehow I just tipped my entire bowl of spaghetti on my/my neighbouring diners head.
I am always on the alert for both words... uhoh and oops.
I could then go onto why the hell anyone proclaims to have studied child psychology for three years and then works at a childcare centre on less than $20 an hour when this town has an incredible shortage of suitable experts for children with behavioural and learning disabilities....
I think I have a terrible low tolerance for adults. I suspect in this womans heart she thinks she is "helping" me. I am learning how to make sure I look terribly busy when she choses to come visit my room to help me.
The awful thing is I think my coworker will jump ship at her first opportunity. That will most likely make my "educator" my immediate boss. It is a shame the kids and I cant be left alone. Or I could chose who shares the responsibility with me.
Sadly - occasions mean I have to deal with ... other women. People. Adults.
Sharing this weeks "pearls of wisdom" that another worker decided to impart to me. The first one was where on noticing one of our walls is particularly old looking in the decorating she commented that I should "Come in on a weekend and undercoat it so that I could paint it fresh!"
Uhuh. I wont go into how poor the pay is in the childcare industry. Or how I think 99% of us work to have our weekends...
Because I have learnt that if I speak when someone says something stupid to me it almost always gets me in trouble (eventually fired)if I retaliate with the first thing I think of - I just chose not to speak to any adults for the rest of the day.
I love the kids - they completely don't mind if I chose not to talk at all.
But this one was possibly better.
Coworker walks past my room just as I say "Small child, please put the chair back at the table where it belongs." (Obviously child's name is not small child and I don't call them that)
She stops, and tells me, in all seriousness "I studied child psychology for three years and the experts tell you that you should NEVER say please to a toddler...instead you should say "Thank you for putting your chair back where it belongs" to indicate you are in control of the situation. Never say please to a toddler."
I bite tongue. Firstly small child is not, has no intention and probably wont put the damn chair back in any instance because he plans to use it in yet another escape attempt or mission to launch on his playmates. Let ALONE the consequences of saying that you should never use simple manners on a child....
I will ALWAYS say please and thank you to any child I work with because it is simple manners. I don't expect them to say either because honestly - only about five of my kids have a vocabulary that includes that. A couple of my kids don't have ANY vocabulary past "Mummy, uhoh" and "oops". Mummy means anyone they like who they want the attention of.... Uhoh means anything from I bit the kid crying next to me or I opened the door and three of my playmates just escaped... and OOps means when your back was turned I got hold of the paint and it is now all over the floor or somehow I just tipped my entire bowl of spaghetti on my/my neighbouring diners head.
I am always on the alert for both words... uhoh and oops.
I could then go onto why the hell anyone proclaims to have studied child psychology for three years and then works at a childcare centre on less than $20 an hour when this town has an incredible shortage of suitable experts for children with behavioural and learning disabilities....
I think I have a terrible low tolerance for adults. I suspect in this womans heart she thinks she is "helping" me. I am learning how to make sure I look terribly busy when she choses to come visit my room to help me.
The awful thing is I think my coworker will jump ship at her first opportunity. That will most likely make my "educator" my immediate boss. It is a shame the kids and I cant be left alone. Or I could chose who shares the responsibility with me.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Death of the cell phone - Or Mr Nobody strikes again
Last week the kids helped me bring in the groceries and a bag of stuff I had bought home from work to attend to. On the top of this latter bag I had stuck my cell phone, wallet and keys. Considerate kid did heap the bag onto the (already full) drainage rack beside the kitchen sink.
Some minutes later said cell phone was found taking a bath with the dirty dishes.
Nobody put the bag on the drainage rack. Uh-uh - all three confirm it was not them who put the bag ontop of the drainage rack. One day.. Mr Nobody.. one day... I will have my revenge.
Anyway - teenage daughter no 2 tells me that the phone will be fine... BECAUSE... she dropped her very expensive one in the SCHOOL TOILET a week or so back and when it dried out it worked fine. Same phone is in my name and has already been broken once and claimed on what was my perfect insurance record (barring an incident almost 20 years ago when my brother crashed my car)
"YOU didn't tell me that!" says I - in complete horror.
"Well duh, look how excited you get over your crappy phone!" Anna proceeds to take my phone apart to dry it.
"My phone has lasted me over SIX YEARS Anna!" I protest. (Ok so I only learnt my own number within the last year and can only just text message if you give me an hour to find all the keys - I like smspup - it is free and I can type the message on my keyboard)
My phone has not recovered. Sometimes I hear that annoying beep that means I have a message but the screen doesn't work at all.
Hope none of the text messages are important!
The LAST thing I feel like shopping for at the moment is a phone.
And of COURSE... for once my phone actually did have credit on it when the swimming incident occurred.
Some minutes later said cell phone was found taking a bath with the dirty dishes.
Nobody put the bag on the drainage rack. Uh-uh - all three confirm it was not them who put the bag ontop of the drainage rack. One day.. Mr Nobody.. one day... I will have my revenge.
Anyway - teenage daughter no 2 tells me that the phone will be fine... BECAUSE... she dropped her very expensive one in the SCHOOL TOILET a week or so back and when it dried out it worked fine. Same phone is in my name and has already been broken once and claimed on what was my perfect insurance record (barring an incident almost 20 years ago when my brother crashed my car)
"YOU didn't tell me that!" says I - in complete horror.
"Well duh, look how excited you get over your crappy phone!" Anna proceeds to take my phone apart to dry it.
"My phone has lasted me over SIX YEARS Anna!" I protest. (Ok so I only learnt my own number within the last year and can only just text message if you give me an hour to find all the keys - I like smspup - it is free and I can type the message on my keyboard)
My phone has not recovered. Sometimes I hear that annoying beep that means I have a message but the screen doesn't work at all.
Hope none of the text messages are important!
The LAST thing I feel like shopping for at the moment is a phone.
And of COURSE... for once my phone actually did have credit on it when the swimming incident occurred.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Gladstone Multi Cultural Festival 2007
My favourite festival of the year! This town throws some pretty good events - but this one is my absolute favourite (followed very closely by the Seafood festival). The food at this one is so wonderful - the choice perplexing, and a crowd with much jostling ... I don't really like crowds but in certain situations you have to deal with the bad to get the good! Jane and I chose the Indonesian, MOTH the Indian and William went for a little of each and the sweet donut like thing in the last picture that came from the Mexican stand - but I have no idea if that is authentic or not. (Anna was at work today)
I cant wait till I am old though. Way too few tables - one taken up by a solitary senior citizen sitting alone with 6 chairs all taken up with a cardigan whilst mother's try to feed their children sitting on benches next to the garbage bins - and that table is taken for the full time we are there like that. That old bloke seriously needs his own walker. I hope someone buys him one. Even those perched on the tables with no food? Are they oblivious to the people trying to eat standing up?
We gave up trying to balance food on our laps - offering our bench to a woman trying to balance her food on her knees as she lent to assist her child in a pram - and ventured further into the marina parkland finding a lovely shady, grassy area to relax and eat. Just perfect!
Entertainers galore...
Something for everyone.. I especially like the use of recycle bins now days!
Doesn't take a lot to amuse me. I liked the camels second only to the food.
The things MOTH and Will are eating here were so incredibly sweet and came with chocolate or caramel dipping sauce just to make it sweeter!
We all went home full and a little sleepy.We parked a fair way away so as to enjoy the walk and anticipation and avoid the frenzy in the carparks.
We called into the Crazy Prices on the way home for some gardening supplies and camping supplies for Anna's trip to the Oaks tomorrow with the school. MOTH is happily buying camping stuff at them moment as we plan to go camping over at Curtis Island on the 18th of this month. I am just hoping Anna doesn't lose or break anything we are sending with her - she is just brilliant at that. Usually simply lose.
I am looking forward to the weekend away - even if a little apprehensive about how the washing, cleaning, projects etc will fair while we are away. I am still not adjusted to working full time and the state of the house and the pile of things I have to do seem to be so daunting.
I cant wait till I am old though. Way too few tables - one taken up by a solitary senior citizen sitting alone with 6 chairs all taken up with a cardigan whilst mother's try to feed their children sitting on benches next to the garbage bins - and that table is taken for the full time we are there like that. That old bloke seriously needs his own walker. I hope someone buys him one. Even those perched on the tables with no food? Are they oblivious to the people trying to eat standing up?We gave up trying to balance food on our laps - offering our bench to a woman trying to balance her food on her knees as she lent to assist her child in a pram - and ventured further into the marina parkland finding a lovely shady, grassy area to relax and eat. Just perfect!
Entertainers galore...
Something for everyone.. I especially like the use of recycle bins now days!
Doesn't take a lot to amuse me. I liked the camels second only to the food.
The things MOTH and Will are eating here were so incredibly sweet and came with chocolate or caramel dipping sauce just to make it sweeter!
We all went home full and a little sleepy.We parked a fair way away so as to enjoy the walk and anticipation and avoid the frenzy in the carparks.
We called into the Crazy Prices on the way home for some gardening supplies and camping supplies for Anna's trip to the Oaks tomorrow with the school. MOTH is happily buying camping stuff at them moment as we plan to go camping over at Curtis Island on the 18th of this month. I am just hoping Anna doesn't lose or break anything we are sending with her - she is just brilliant at that. Usually simply lose.I am looking forward to the weekend away - even if a little apprehensive about how the washing, cleaning, projects etc will fair while we are away. I am still not adjusted to working full time and the state of the house and the pile of things I have to do seem to be so daunting.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Except that sunrise generally means I have stayed awake too long again...
| You Are Sunrise |
 You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be. |
Monday, July 30, 2007
Harlequin Beetles
This weekend MOTH trimmed a tree out the back to make more sunlight for our garden and collected maybe 30 Harlequin Beetles for me to take to kindy for the kids.
The kids loved the beetles.. the best photos I can't show unfortunately because I am deliberately picking photos that dont identify the children.
The kids tryed so hard not to squish or maim them.. and we first examined them and then released them into the garden outside the fence.... Most of the other staff were quite disgusted at my choice of what to play with this morning... but the kids and I sure had fun!
Some kids were happy to imitate me and hold them or wear them on their clothing. Some where nervous and scared of bugs ... and some overcame that and some did not. All of them tried hard to be gentle...but that is not easy when you are two.
Click on the pictures to see them big.. I could have the wrong name for the beetles.
I wrote about the same beetles here... but that photo shows the orange ones and we had the blue/ green ones today.
The kids loved the beetles.. the best photos I can't show unfortunately because I am deliberately picking photos that dont identify the children.
The kids tryed so hard not to squish or maim them.. and we first examined them and then released them into the garden outside the fence.... Most of the other staff were quite disgusted at my choice of what to play with this morning... but the kids and I sure had fun!
Some kids were happy to imitate me and hold them or wear them on their clothing. Some where nervous and scared of bugs ... and some overcame that and some did not. All of them tried hard to be gentle...but that is not easy when you are two. Click on the pictures to see them big.. I could have the wrong name for the beetles.
I wrote about the same beetles here... but that photo shows the orange ones and we had the blue/ green ones today.
Monday, July 23, 2007
A lovely weekend - but still flu ridden
Well! I have had a wonderful weekend! Endless chatting with Sonya (my cousin - Dad's sisters daughter) - the time flew and I almost forgot about my misery with the flu. I think everyone had a lovely time - Sonya's males (Dave and their German exchange student) and Christian (MOTH) hit it off with long animated and sometimes loud talking that Sonya and I had to try to compete with in our very small house.
It was so lovely to have them visit. Unfortunate Sonya kept insisting on paying for stuff she shouldn't of. But that was the only time I felt slightly uncomfortable. She didn't seem to notice the fact the house was a mess, that I haven't finished the painting; none of them minded my dogs who insist on being part of everything; and we were all considerate of toilet lines and showers!
Due to time constraints or probably more the fact nattering with Sonya was so much fun - we didn't take them many places. And William and Joe didn't show much interest in going boating anyway. This photo of Will (13) and Joe(11) was taken at the school fete - where Anna had a performance on Sunday morning. Sonya and I found lovely bargains at the white elephant stall.
Joe and William mostly hid in Will's room playing their electronic thingos and kicking the soccer ball together.
This weekend was the launch of the 7th Harry Potter book and Anna had planned the weekend so that she did very little else except read the book. Last night she found that Uri (their friend and former exchange student) was very interesting and they stayed up late discussing the differences in their cultures and the common things they liked (music).
Jane, Joe and William went to the movies on Saturday night to see Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix and all got along well.
This morning as they packed and I was at work one of my dogs got out and ran past my work... I rang home and blurted.. "Tell Jane get Dotti - Toolooa street now" and hung up to chase her myself when I noticed Joe and Uri bounding up the street in pursuit. Joe and Uri kindly showed Dotti at the fence to the children at kindy for me - delighting them as well. The poor fellows looked... not too impressed at their sudden chase. Dotti is going to miss having extra people to sleep with.
Too think - in early November I get to play with family again at Jeanette's (another cousin)! How exciting!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
The weekend
MOTH and Jane got a heap of photos of some kind of animal - didn't look like the dolphins because they normally show off. Wonder if it was dugongs or small whales a bit lost?
I have peered at them with the zoom feature for a while but give up. I am sure they had fun watching the critters anyway.
I was attending the Senior First Aid Certificate with workmates on my Saturday with my never ending flu. If you can detect the bitterness in my comment - well done.
Rocky had a great time.
Man and dog etc.
Jane and Dotti made good use of the worlds most ugly and invasive heater. What MOTH was thinking when he bought this thing is beyond me. Even with every light off in the house you still feel like its the police or emergency services shining into your house for some kind of investigation.
Dotti is very partial to it though.
Jane starts school at Toolooa tomorrow. She seems happy and excited.
I didn't get anything done this weekend - yesterday at the course and I am still sick.... heaps of washing and cleaning that had to be done and endless taxiing and loose ends to be finished. Making sure Jane has at least the basics for tomorrow, Anna worked both days and Will spent most of the weekend at a mates place. Mopping floors around Dotti the wonderdog who is both asking me to pay her attention and moping that Rocky is out and she is home. My planned nap and rest never happened.
The first aid course has a 28 page booklet I have to post in the answers to - and I only got to page 21 and started cursing and feeling writers cramp and quit for another try tomorrow. Two friends wanted me to call in today and help them with some stuff... and I honestly didn't have the time or the energy.
Sara sent me a box full of lipsticks - I adore lipstick and fret if I feel I don't have enough. It is a weird thing - I can apply it in my sleep. I just like the feel. I have no other ... feelings towards makeup and wear it far less than I should. But lipstick is different.. I adore it and really cant stand not having it. When the girls pinch my favourite ones I over react. "It is mine and I should be allowed to have SOMETHING of my own.." etc to which they say.... "Woah chill Mum it is just a lipstick." Very nice of my oldest daughter to indulge me when she knows I do fight with the girls over it. Or she is worried about their safety... whateva.
Anna reckons she has quit cheerleading. I think she is being the ultimate martyr and will regret her decision. She loves it. I never have - but acknowledge her love of it and never stopped her from doing it. Usually I indulge her with the lifts etc to it. Sometimes I have said.. "If you want to do it - you walk or ride your bike to it." and I rarely attend it. I get annoyed at mid Sunday afternoon training and treat it as an invasion on my family life.
I guess everyone in my family is reacting to changes. MOTH is annoyed I am not paying him enough attention or playing enough. Jane is happy - over excited even and eager to help, William is just trying to disappear and Anna continues her own little world.
I would love a days rest and another days play. I guess it wont happen for a while.
I have peered at them with the zoom feature for a while but give up. I am sure they had fun watching the critters anyway.
I was attending the Senior First Aid Certificate with workmates on my Saturday with my never ending flu. If you can detect the bitterness in my comment - well done.
Rocky had a great time.
Man and dog etc.
Jane and Dotti made good use of the worlds most ugly and invasive heater. What MOTH was thinking when he bought this thing is beyond me. Even with every light off in the house you still feel like its the police or emergency services shining into your house for some kind of investigation.
Dotti is very partial to it though.
Jane starts school at Toolooa tomorrow. She seems happy and excited.
I didn't get anything done this weekend - yesterday at the course and I am still sick.... heaps of washing and cleaning that had to be done and endless taxiing and loose ends to be finished. Making sure Jane has at least the basics for tomorrow, Anna worked both days and Will spent most of the weekend at a mates place. Mopping floors around Dotti the wonderdog who is both asking me to pay her attention and moping that Rocky is out and she is home. My planned nap and rest never happened.
The first aid course has a 28 page booklet I have to post in the answers to - and I only got to page 21 and started cursing and feeling writers cramp and quit for another try tomorrow. Two friends wanted me to call in today and help them with some stuff... and I honestly didn't have the time or the energy.
Sara sent me a box full of lipsticks - I adore lipstick and fret if I feel I don't have enough. It is a weird thing - I can apply it in my sleep. I just like the feel. I have no other ... feelings towards makeup and wear it far less than I should. But lipstick is different.. I adore it and really cant stand not having it. When the girls pinch my favourite ones I over react. "It is mine and I should be allowed to have SOMETHING of my own.." etc to which they say.... "Woah chill Mum it is just a lipstick." Very nice of my oldest daughter to indulge me when she knows I do fight with the girls over it. Or she is worried about their safety... whateva.
Anna reckons she has quit cheerleading. I think she is being the ultimate martyr and will regret her decision. She loves it. I never have - but acknowledge her love of it and never stopped her from doing it. Usually I indulge her with the lifts etc to it. Sometimes I have said.. "If you want to do it - you walk or ride your bike to it." and I rarely attend it. I get annoyed at mid Sunday afternoon training and treat it as an invasion on my family life.
I guess everyone in my family is reacting to changes. MOTH is annoyed I am not paying him enough attention or playing enough. Jane is happy - over excited even and eager to help, William is just trying to disappear and Anna continues her own little world.
I would love a days rest and another days play. I guess it wont happen for a while.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Gardening in winter
Our days are 20C and so not too unpleasant - just not the weather for swimming and the necessity to keep a cardigan handy is a bit of a nuisance. But it wont be long before the proper weather returns. I should feel sorry for all those people who live in real cold winters - but I cant. I am too busy wishing for proper summer back on me again.
Selfish what?
Anyway here is my tomatoes in the middle of our winter. (Taken with a new Fujifilm A610 we bought today for $149 - the fourth Fujifim camera this family has bought and never been unhappy with - BUT - remember when we bought the first for over $300 and thought that was cheap!)
The same place in summer I grew sunflowers and tomatoes is now dappled sunlight all day - but the smaller capsicum are thriving over there.
This chicken wire ugliness below was formerly a lovely bed of three Marguerite daisies, a red flowered thingo Anna bought me that looked like lantana to me, a dozen or so aloes, a half dozen full grown alyssum plants in beautiful flower and about the same ornamental (but edible) lettuce.... it looked beautiful. For one week.
And then school holidays started and the dogs got bored! and Rocky visited me at Kindy TWICE in one morning (meaning the kids left the gate open and let him out twice) and then they dug up the garden. Shredded the plants. Devastated it. I am hoping some of them will recover. In the meantime the ugly chicken wire is nailed to the sleepers at the top to deter them. My other fear is that they will try get in it.. hurt themselves when they land.. and I will have a vet bill again. Life is never too dull here.
I think the dogs resented the kids camping in front of the television while I was at work - and even though they had resisted misbehaving for months while I was at work - that was just too much neglect for them. I knew my dogs can see me at work - I can see them standing on the front gate watching me when I am in the yard with the children. But to get to me Rocky had to cross the bridge over the train tracks, the traffic lights and then come find the room I work in. The children who were awake when he visited where most impressed and ask me about him every day. I understand perfectly "Wha woof?" (or "where is woof?") and one kid points to any dog and tells me it is "Rocky".
Anyway - it is nice to have a cheap camera that I can take anywhere again. Anna finally sent hers off to be repaired (months that took her until I yelled that soon the warranty would be expired) and MOTH complained that the camera I really want would be not so practical for our boating expeditions and even for my desire to use it at Kindy for photos of the kids for their end of year brag books.
I just cant fault the Fujifim camera's for their reliability, their wonderful prompt repairs if anything does go wrong, extensive warranty and absolute ease of use. And having my daughters and us with the same cameras is just so easy with the accessories. Our digital rechargeable batteries are over three years old now and still going strong. So easy - so cheap.
Selfish what?
Anyway here is my tomatoes in the middle of our winter. (Taken with a new Fujifilm A610 we bought today for $149 - the fourth Fujifim camera this family has bought and never been unhappy with - BUT - remember when we bought the first for over $300 and thought that was cheap!)
The same place in summer I grew sunflowers and tomatoes is now dappled sunlight all day - but the smaller capsicum are thriving over there.
This chicken wire ugliness below was formerly a lovely bed of three Marguerite daisies, a red flowered thingo Anna bought me that looked like lantana to me, a dozen or so aloes, a half dozen full grown alyssum plants in beautiful flower and about the same ornamental (but edible) lettuce.... it looked beautiful. For one week.
And then school holidays started and the dogs got bored! and Rocky visited me at Kindy TWICE in one morning (meaning the kids left the gate open and let him out twice) and then they dug up the garden. Shredded the plants. Devastated it. I am hoping some of them will recover. In the meantime the ugly chicken wire is nailed to the sleepers at the top to deter them. My other fear is that they will try get in it.. hurt themselves when they land.. and I will have a vet bill again. Life is never too dull here.
I think the dogs resented the kids camping in front of the television while I was at work - and even though they had resisted misbehaving for months while I was at work - that was just too much neglect for them. I knew my dogs can see me at work - I can see them standing on the front gate watching me when I am in the yard with the children. But to get to me Rocky had to cross the bridge over the train tracks, the traffic lights and then come find the room I work in. The children who were awake when he visited where most impressed and ask me about him every day. I understand perfectly "Wha woof?" (or "where is woof?") and one kid points to any dog and tells me it is "Rocky".
Anyway - it is nice to have a cheap camera that I can take anywhere again. Anna finally sent hers off to be repaired (months that took her until I yelled that soon the warranty would be expired) and MOTH complained that the camera I really want would be not so practical for our boating expeditions and even for my desire to use it at Kindy for photos of the kids for their end of year brag books.
I just cant fault the Fujifim camera's for their reliability, their wonderful prompt repairs if anything does go wrong, extensive warranty and absolute ease of use. And having my daughters and us with the same cameras is just so easy with the accessories. Our digital rechargeable batteries are over three years old now and still going strong. So easy - so cheap.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
The school holidays are over...
So much has happened I am not sure where to start.
But Jane (my youngest daughter) who was expelled from boarding just prior to the holidays had an altercation with her father - and is now living back here. The local government school would not enroll her until this coming Friday - and so hopefully we can do that in my lunch hour.
The altercation included some rubbish wherein she informed her father that she knows that age 15 she can claim Centrelink (government payments) and live in a government funded housing establishment for troubled teenagers. She is somewhat misinformed there... neither her father or I would ever sign a paper stating she cant live at home. Sadly... this seemed attractive to her. Money for nothing and a cool place to live with other teenagers who think bad behaviour is acceptable. Brilliant. I would swear but the rating thing still bothers me that I am such a potty mouth.
We are still a little unsure who gave her such information... have suspicions and of course hearsay, innuendo and rumour are all evil and I am fighting with myself to not shove hot pokers in the eyes of those I suspect could be responsible.
I warned sperm donor that counsellors for Jane were a bad idea. It isn't like I haven't been there and done that before.
Jane spent the entire holiday here anyway due to the kids sperm donor being sick. I think he said something about a gall bladder or something like that. An operation. Horses in work and way too busy. Jane and William only went to his place for the last weekend.. and whatever fight happened there must of been a good one. William said he heard nothing - and knowing my son ... that would be correct.
But - sperm donor was very congenial and supportive at the delivery of Jane and all her worldly possessions yesterday during my lunch hour. I wish I had more time yesterday because I should of shoved half that junk back into his four wheel drive. Jane seems happy to be home and busily planning her new life here.
The rest of the family? Anna refuses point blank to share a room with her sister. She will share with William - but under no circumstances Jane. William seems to understand (as always) that the easiest way to please especially me is to cause no major waves. A three bedroom house just... doesn't work. Or maybe it can.. I do have a plan...(It's ok - I have ditched the buy a bigger boat and piss off one, join the circus one and although William would like to live in a tent out the back... I acknowledge the dogs could pose a problem there)
I should get time alone soon to write what I want to write and do what I want to do. Post video clips of Anna at the cheerleading competition and her dramas. Our garden and its progress - and what the dogs did do the new ornamental garden. Of friends in need and friends indeed. How four days working with me in my room at work made a coworker have to take two weeks stress leave and I still seem to be secure in my job anyway. (I LOVE two year olds.. it is just the best age! Especially when its not my stuff they are wrecking! And I am so fond of cuddles from small people - it is as nice as cuddles with puppies - except I like puppy breath better.)
And I am the only person (other than Jane) in my house pleased to have Jane home.
Even the dogs seem to be mucking up.
My birthday.
No one in my family is interested in how I feel... my birthday was as close to revolting as it usually is with a few exceptions. Anna and MOTH absolutely took over. Anna returned early from cheerleading at the footyball to surprise me? and MOTH just... wouldn't shush and had to talk over me.... Meg bought me some new wine glasses and seemed to forget I wouldn't want to cook and clean that night. It was lovely that Meg remembered my birthday and I am a complete bitch for even compmlentating complaining. The woman I worked with had a meltdown and is now on stress leave. I think shes an idiot - but I can be ghastly in my appraisals. And occasionally I feel guilty I can say that about her. The kids smelt fear, or sensed it.. played on it and .. behaved in a way that upset her. I was no help because I thought the kids were being wonderfully funny.
There are jolly good reasons I lose jobs. The woman was trained in childcare -I am not. I dont like them to be miserable and I will fight you if you make them miserable. I might not hit you or bite you.. but I will fight you. Dont upset them and I wont upset you. I wont let them climb on furniture or bite or harm anyone,... but if they chose to eat the play dough, spread the paint in hair or not understand your punishment of ten fucking (there goes my rating again) minutes in time out... I am not going to back you with punishing them further. The kids have forgot. They dont remember why your being a lunatic with the "time out" stuff. They just want me to get them out of there. And frankly I thought her hair looked perfectly nice with the paint in it and didnt understand why she was so upset.
The kids at work decorated a dinasaur cake for me and that was fun. I wish I hadnt of laughed when one of the kids made a terrible mess.. maybe that poor so called idiot would feel saner and I would feel.. less guilty. So I cooked and cleaned. Nothing unusual. My children bought me stuffed animals as presents. Uhuh - enough said. My Uncle Dave emailed me.. very special. I received a few cards. That was very nice. Work put in for a bottle of wine, scratchies and chocolates for me. They were correct with the wine.. a lush I will be forever... a gambler never (not scratchies pokies or any of that crap - I would gamble and will gamble if I believe in anything) and chocolates only if I am not smoking. I cant smoke at work ..... generally... so heck my smoking at home is rediculous.
So much has happened.So many loose ends to tie. So many times just shaking my head,, wondering...
MOTH is rightfully mad at me.. sperm donor is such a suck arse he is nice to me... Sometimes we just get pulled too many directions. I am just bouncing. But I am not as much fun as tigger. And my youngest daughter finds it so hard to find her place in life.
But Jane (my youngest daughter) who was expelled from boarding just prior to the holidays had an altercation with her father - and is now living back here. The local government school would not enroll her until this coming Friday - and so hopefully we can do that in my lunch hour.
The altercation included some rubbish wherein she informed her father that she knows that age 15 she can claim Centrelink (government payments) and live in a government funded housing establishment for troubled teenagers. She is somewhat misinformed there... neither her father or I would ever sign a paper stating she cant live at home. Sadly... this seemed attractive to her. Money for nothing and a cool place to live with other teenagers who think bad behaviour is acceptable. Brilliant. I would swear but the rating thing still bothers me that I am such a potty mouth.
We are still a little unsure who gave her such information... have suspicions and of course hearsay, innuendo and rumour are all evil and I am fighting with myself to not shove hot pokers in the eyes of those I suspect could be responsible.
I warned sperm donor that counsellors for Jane were a bad idea. It isn't like I haven't been there and done that before.
Jane spent the entire holiday here anyway due to the kids sperm donor being sick. I think he said something about a gall bladder or something like that. An operation. Horses in work and way too busy. Jane and William only went to his place for the last weekend.. and whatever fight happened there must of been a good one. William said he heard nothing - and knowing my son ... that would be correct.
But - sperm donor was very congenial and supportive at the delivery of Jane and all her worldly possessions yesterday during my lunch hour. I wish I had more time yesterday because I should of shoved half that junk back into his four wheel drive. Jane seems happy to be home and busily planning her new life here.
The rest of the family? Anna refuses point blank to share a room with her sister. She will share with William - but under no circumstances Jane. William seems to understand (as always) that the easiest way to please especially me is to cause no major waves. A three bedroom house just... doesn't work. Or maybe it can.. I do have a plan...(It's ok - I have ditched the buy a bigger boat and piss off one, join the circus one and although William would like to live in a tent out the back... I acknowledge the dogs could pose a problem there)
I should get time alone soon to write what I want to write and do what I want to do. Post video clips of Anna at the cheerleading competition and her dramas. Our garden and its progress - and what the dogs did do the new ornamental garden. Of friends in need and friends indeed. How four days working with me in my room at work made a coworker have to take two weeks stress leave and I still seem to be secure in my job anyway. (I LOVE two year olds.. it is just the best age! Especially when its not my stuff they are wrecking! And I am so fond of cuddles from small people - it is as nice as cuddles with puppies - except I like puppy breath better.)
And I am the only person (other than Jane) in my house pleased to have Jane home.
Even the dogs seem to be mucking up.
My birthday.
No one in my family is interested in how I feel... my birthday was as close to revolting as it usually is with a few exceptions. Anna and MOTH absolutely took over. Anna returned early from cheerleading at the footyball to surprise me? and MOTH just... wouldn't shush and had to talk over me.... Meg bought me some new wine glasses and seemed to forget I wouldn't want to cook and clean that night. It was lovely that Meg remembered my birthday and I am a complete bitch for even compmlentating complaining. The woman I worked with had a meltdown and is now on stress leave. I think shes an idiot - but I can be ghastly in my appraisals. And occasionally I feel guilty I can say that about her. The kids smelt fear, or sensed it.. played on it and .. behaved in a way that upset her. I was no help because I thought the kids were being wonderfully funny.
There are jolly good reasons I lose jobs. The woman was trained in childcare -I am not. I dont like them to be miserable and I will fight you if you make them miserable. I might not hit you or bite you.. but I will fight you. Dont upset them and I wont upset you. I wont let them climb on furniture or bite or harm anyone,... but if they chose to eat the play dough, spread the paint in hair or not understand your punishment of ten fucking (there goes my rating again) minutes in time out... I am not going to back you with punishing them further. The kids have forgot. They dont remember why your being a lunatic with the "time out" stuff. They just want me to get them out of there. And frankly I thought her hair looked perfectly nice with the paint in it and didnt understand why she was so upset.
The kids at work decorated a dinasaur cake for me and that was fun. I wish I hadnt of laughed when one of the kids made a terrible mess.. maybe that poor so called idiot would feel saner and I would feel.. less guilty. So I cooked and cleaned. Nothing unusual. My children bought me stuffed animals as presents. Uhuh - enough said. My Uncle Dave emailed me.. very special. I received a few cards. That was very nice. Work put in for a bottle of wine, scratchies and chocolates for me. They were correct with the wine.. a lush I will be forever... a gambler never (not scratchies pokies or any of that crap - I would gamble and will gamble if I believe in anything) and chocolates only if I am not smoking. I cant smoke at work ..... generally... so heck my smoking at home is rediculous.
So much has happened.So many loose ends to tie. So many times just shaking my head,, wondering...
MOTH is rightfully mad at me.. sperm donor is such a suck arse he is nice to me... Sometimes we just get pulled too many directions. I am just bouncing. But I am not as much fun as tigger. And my youngest daughter finds it so hard to find her place in life.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
The unusual cold seems to have left...
During the unusual cold.. Dotti was particularly miserable. At first a blanket seemed to help..jpg)
But then - she decided she too wanted to wear clothes. After all the rest of us went out and came home with new ones.
.jpg)
She knew this made her "special". If the cold returns I will consider dog clothing instead of fishing out William's old shirts.
Today Rocky visited the daycare centre I work TWICE - once he found it and I called my kids to come and get him and the second time I drove him home. It is school holidays and he has kids at home for him but chose to use the fact they aren't very dog safety aware.... and escape. I knew a few weeks ago that my dogs know where I am. I can see them from one verandah and knew they could see me. Now Rocky has confirmed this is indeed where I am wasting my days... I think we will have to rethink fences, gates and possible baby(dog) sitting arrangements.
Apologies for the poor quality of the photos - Anna has to find me the receipt for her camera so that I can send it off under warranty for whatever... happened to it. These photos were taken with the mobile phone that has caused the past 6 weeks of grief for Anna and me.
All over and we are the best of friends again. To amuse me tonight she sang the "Hokey Pokey" to prove to me she is as cute as the two year olds she doesn't approve of me cuddling by day.
She leaves for the Gold Coast Friday to attend the National Cheerleading competition and perform at the State of Origin football game.
Jane and Will were to catch the train to Rockhampton to spend the holidays with their sperm donor - however he is sick again and they are staying here.
.jpg)
But then - she decided she too wanted to wear clothes. After all the rest of us went out and came home with new ones.
.jpg)
She knew this made her "special". If the cold returns I will consider dog clothing instead of fishing out William's old shirts.Today Rocky visited the daycare centre I work TWICE - once he found it and I called my kids to come and get him and the second time I drove him home. It is school holidays and he has kids at home for him but chose to use the fact they aren't very dog safety aware.... and escape. I knew a few weeks ago that my dogs know where I am. I can see them from one verandah and knew they could see me. Now Rocky has confirmed this is indeed where I am wasting my days... I think we will have to rethink fences, gates and possible baby(dog) sitting arrangements.
Apologies for the poor quality of the photos - Anna has to find me the receipt for her camera so that I can send it off under warranty for whatever... happened to it. These photos were taken with the mobile phone that has caused the past 6 weeks of grief for Anna and me.
All over and we are the best of friends again. To amuse me tonight she sang the "Hokey Pokey" to prove to me she is as cute as the two year olds she doesn't approve of me cuddling by day.
She leaves for the Gold Coast Friday to attend the National Cheerleading competition and perform at the State of Origin football game.
Jane and Will were to catch the train to Rockhampton to spend the holidays with their sperm donor - however he is sick again and they are staying here.
Monday, June 25, 2007
My bad rating!
I found this while browsing through some blogs I have neglected lately.
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
bitch (5x) hurt (4x) fuck (3x) fucking (2x) sex (1x)
I guess I should pay better attention to my dreadful potty mouth sometimes? But honestly - sometimes a "bad" word says it all.
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
bitch (5x) hurt (4x) fuck (3x) fucking (2x) sex (1x)
I guess I should pay better attention to my dreadful potty mouth sometimes? But honestly - sometimes a "bad" word says it all.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Ben will be home tomorrow
Jane arrives home at 5 am tomorrow. Her father is heading to.. somewhere I forget.. for horses... and dropping her off on the way.
I start work at 9 am. I hope she is smart enough to just climb in bed with me and not wake me till after 7 am.
But - oh well!
I start work at 9 am. I hope she is smart enough to just climb in bed with me and not wake me till after 7 am.
But - oh well!
I contemplated quiting
So I got to work this morning and everything was lovely. The director gave me my new uniform. Everyone was congenial and the person who had annoyed me... stayed away from me and seemed to understand that I did not want to participate in conversation with her. I took my cigarette break when I wanted without my previous checking to make sure she was happy with it.
The children provided me with hugs and kisses. The kids work better than a hot water bottle in this awful strange weather and carrying them and dancing with them was lovely and warm.
Two of them have finally ceased calling me Mummy and are calling me a variation of Melissa that works just fine for me.
"MISSALISSA - I WANT MY BOTTLE!" I understand perfectly. And "Missa I can't find my woobie" I understood too. ("woobie" is the name of the soft blankets she fondles) The others just laugh at me when I say "I am not Mummy - I am Melissa!" - and some of them like to argue with me.
I learnt about twenty years ago it is hardly worth arguing with a two year old. Sometimes it's useless to argue with adults too.
The children provided me with hugs and kisses. The kids work better than a hot water bottle in this awful strange weather and carrying them and dancing with them was lovely and warm.
Two of them have finally ceased calling me Mummy and are calling me a variation of Melissa that works just fine for me.
"MISSALISSA - I WANT MY BOTTLE!" I understand perfectly. And "Missa I can't find my woobie" I understood too. ("woobie" is the name of the soft blankets she fondles) The others just laugh at me when I say "I am not Mummy - I am Melissa!" - and some of them like to argue with me.
I learnt about twenty years ago it is hardly worth arguing with a two year old. Sometimes it's useless to argue with adults too.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Another whinging post.
I know my posts are getting more miserable by the week. I sound dreadful - one of those awful whinny women I avoid. Or try hard to avoid but never really manage it. Whateva. I am NOT a miserable person. I seek and crave fun and when life shits me I go feed the ducks, play tricks on my dogs and stand for hours by the water pretending the aim is to catch a fish.
I went permanent full time at a daycare centre that is located right across the road. The pay is crap. But I need the money - and what luck working so close from home - still time to run home at lunch prepare dinner, wash up after breakfast and hang the washing on the line. I have 12 two year olds to care for and they are all wonderful.
Even my wildcat who does bite, is always up to something dreadful and reminds me of my daughter Jane. Her little mind is constantly thinking.. constantly watching her surroundings to find the easiest most fun thing to get into. You know when you have to turn your back on her for another child she is going to find the easiest mischief she can. The trick is to think ahead of her so you can tell her you can see her doing it when you cant. She will blow you kisses when she realises she has been foiled. Sadly.. sometimes she foils me. I think she would be aiming to escape out the door - she chose to tip the paint for the next activity into the book shelf. Even the two that come on Monday and Tuesday that cry constantly almost all day unless I can think of ways to distract them. These kids are all wonderful. The good ones that always do as you ask or direct. The cheeky ones that know that there is an ok to push - and not ok to push.
Ok - I am waffling.
It is bloody cold today. Abnormally cold. The other two rooms have only 6 children in them, and mine has 12+ - some of mine had to go into the other rooms to accommodate the numbers versus carers. I have the smallest room and I share a bathroom with another room. During the course of the day - I have a couple of women who share care duties with me. One - normally I find fine to work with. She is shrill and I find she yells and can be... blah.. lets not carry on.
Just before my lunch hour... I take three children into the bathroom for nappy changing, hands and face wash before nap and after lunch... and she throws two more children into the bathroom and shuts the door... to which one of the children turns on the tap to the water basin and another shoves her finger up the spout.. thus causing incredible cold water over everyone in the bathroom.. whilst I am holding a two year old on a change table with SHIT everywhere... I yelled at HER. I did first shout the name of the child with her finger up the water spout. But it is utterly impossible to expect me to control five (I think six actually - there was another child in the room not belonging to my room) But - yep I yelled for help. I had one hand on the child on the change table so he didn't fall off onto the tiles and crack his head open and the other reaching towards the children with the hand basin that was saturating the tiled bathroom ... I was furious! So was other woman.
She went and told a supervisor (I don't know which) that I had yelled at the children and that I took cigarette breaks. I do. I take one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I wait for when I can see the children are quiet before I piss off for said cigarette break. I also watch other woman take personal phone calls, chat to other workers in nearby rooms, organise milo's and other food breaks for her and her fellow workers, completely piss off for half an hour god knows where when I am left alone for that time with 12 two year olds.....I didnt yell at the kids other than the girl with her finger up the tap when we all got the impromptu shower. I definitely DID yell at the woman for shoving the extra kids in the room. When I got back into the room and she said to me just pat the children until they sleep I just did it. I am new.. I cant argue and I certainly knew saying what I wanted to say in front of twelve 2 year olds wasnt wise. And the children I am happy to pat to sleep. Other woman pissed off up the rooms to once again leave me alone with them A float kindly came past and helped with some of the little things - sheets for children who didnt bring them etc. Eight minutes later was my lunch and the second my relief came in the room I was out the door.
I went home.. considered eating and decided that would probably give me indigestion. I hung out laundry, washed dishes and sorted socks. Counted heaps. Told myself it was an isolated incident and not to worry about it. For heavens sake the woman who had annoyed me steals food from the children, brings her own kids to the centre to wake up our kids and give them germs when her kids are sick, ignores timetables, writes utter rubbish as observations and is so careless with her comments to the children it breaches even what parents are taught via the media on what to say to toddlers. It is hard work - I am not denying that. It's somewhat difficult to not say "you are being disgusting" instead of "your actions are disgusting" as a kid smears snot or shit into something. I am not denying that either. And I am very conscious of the fact carer does have tooth pain, wont fix it because it is too expensive and instead gets bad tempered or seeks pain relief - at the expense of the room.
I got back to work - as other carer leaves for her lunch. She informs me that the children are to stay in their beds until 2.30. Four are already awake.. and its 1 pm. I can see this is so not gunna work.
The senior of our block.. pulled me aside to her room.. (I had aimed to get the list of things "wrong" with our room fixed at this point..) sat me on the chairs for toddlers.. to ask me about the incident. I am seated 20 cms from the ground, in a toddlers room to be interrogated about my actions. I was defensive and at first considered denying there was an incident - but she pushed with you were yelling at the children in the bathroom. (Small town too.. I know her "grown up" son)I said no.. I was yelling at the other carer. Fuck it - I did yell. But I tell ya - the kids that copped the sudden shower and slippery floor were not all that bloody shocked I did yell. I shouldn't have five (I am pretty sure there were six actually) kids in a bathroom.. full of both unhygienic and dangerous things... just because the other carer wanted the kids out of the room while she put the most disruptive kid in our room down first when every other day that kid is put to bed last. As a matter of fact I hadnt even finished making the kids beds when I took the three into the bathroom. Sometimes I can take five into the room - but when I select the kids as to the ones I know are not likely to want to play with the water, soap, flushing the loo's, pressing the hand dryer button and unravelling the toilet paper. They are TWO! They are gunna want to do all that stuff.
They dont want to stay on their beds till 2.30 just because it suits the carer. And fuck you too.. because I dont want to sit on my bed for an hour and a half and do nothing just because you are in a bad mood. If I don't want to do it.. how the hell are they gunna want too? I gave them all books.. and then let the awake ones have textas on the table and when they did colour in the table.. I didn't care. When carer came back and quizzed why they were all out of bed.. the children didn't answer and neither did I. I resisted the urge to also draw on the table.
I can be a petty bitch when it suits me. I also think the other carer would be fine if she had her toothache fixed, a little backbone installed so she didn't find it necessary to tell me stories on how she lies to her husband about smoking and money and elocution lessons wouldn't go astray. Use those vowels baby and it is not necessary to use your nasal drawl when speaking.
Carer then decided the children could all go outside. It was freezing today. Ok .. so freezing still in the + temperatures - but us tropical people don't do cold so good. I wanted to say no. But of course I dared not too. I need the money. So I made my kids run and jump, follow me on the fort and down the slippery slide and put two pairs of socks on the kids that had no shoes and wiped noses like a crazy woman.
I adore the children. I am the new person in the workplace. I should learn my place and let them continue to step all over me and ask me to do three things at once and their duties and not complain when they ask me to cover for them. I should be grateful I have full time permanent when many have been there longer and don't.
But oddly enough - really all it makes me think is... you are such a slacker Melissa. Go back into the real workforce.. do what you do...
I almost typed.. do what you do best.. but that isn't true to me. I adore loving these kids. I love every second that they tell me the colours, the sounds, the numbers and the animals. I love the hugs and kisses and hand holding and just the gentle observations they make. There isn't one kid in that room I wouldn't happily bring home tomorrow. (My wildcat I would have to move a lot of stuff for).
I get tired of other peoples stupidity. I also find my life dreadfully busy when I don't do paid work. I get tired of the good people being trod on and the stupid getting their own way. I am not saying other carer is stupid or any of those things. I just think.. maybe this is just a means to kicking me in the butt to go find a real job. I got annoyed at the sign that said "Saftey" and changed it to "Safety". I alphabetically organised the kids charts. Because I cant find them any other way. I clashed with another carer when one child was upset and she wouldnt let me intervene because it was a challenge of authority.... but in reality the child had a bottle and the carer hadnt given it to her.. of course the child was upset. There is a sign on the wall that is meant to map our day.. I try follow that. But the other carers ... all say the sign on the wall is wrong and therefore the children should remain on their beds for 2 and a half hours.
I am new. I cant tell anyone (even ever so politely) to fuck off. I cant take 5+ children into a bathroom with 5 toilets, four child sized basins and four soap dispensers, one adult sized basin and one moveable soap dispenser and a change table. I simply cant do that. Not safely. And if I cant do it safely I aint doing it.
I had an awful day at work. And - at almost go home time.. a dear little fellow asked me to pick him up - and of course I did. Diarrhoea.... it soaked threw all my clothes. My cardigan my shirt and my shorts. I was meant to go to a committee meeting. I rang and begged that if quorum was reached.. to apologise for me. I was saved by the bell.
Then of course - Anna forgot her jumper for work and MOTH didn't want to go and get dinner even though he had to go out anyway.....and Will had school soccer ....
I dont think I am gunna cut it at the new job. Best I seek something else. Which is a shame really - I thought I was loving it. But after deleting half of what I have written so as to not... be mean to people I do .. have to interact with.... The person who attempted the "disciplinary action" at my two cigarette breaks has more herself for goodness sake.
I will just have to wait for them to fire me. I am not going to go outside in the cold because they say I have to. I might run my kids around the yard twice and go back into the heating. They wont be cold because the other carers think it is easier on the cleaning. I will take my two two minute breaks because I dont have two ten minute breaks like everyone else.
If they annoy me any more I will do it naked.
I went permanent full time at a daycare centre that is located right across the road. The pay is crap. But I need the money - and what luck working so close from home - still time to run home at lunch prepare dinner, wash up after breakfast and hang the washing on the line. I have 12 two year olds to care for and they are all wonderful.
Even my wildcat who does bite, is always up to something dreadful and reminds me of my daughter Jane. Her little mind is constantly thinking.. constantly watching her surroundings to find the easiest most fun thing to get into. You know when you have to turn your back on her for another child she is going to find the easiest mischief she can. The trick is to think ahead of her so you can tell her you can see her doing it when you cant. She will blow you kisses when she realises she has been foiled. Sadly.. sometimes she foils me. I think she would be aiming to escape out the door - she chose to tip the paint for the next activity into the book shelf. Even the two that come on Monday and Tuesday that cry constantly almost all day unless I can think of ways to distract them. These kids are all wonderful. The good ones that always do as you ask or direct. The cheeky ones that know that there is an ok to push - and not ok to push.
Ok - I am waffling.
It is bloody cold today. Abnormally cold. The other two rooms have only 6 children in them, and mine has 12+ - some of mine had to go into the other rooms to accommodate the numbers versus carers. I have the smallest room and I share a bathroom with another room. During the course of the day - I have a couple of women who share care duties with me. One - normally I find fine to work with. She is shrill and I find she yells and can be... blah.. lets not carry on.
Just before my lunch hour... I take three children into the bathroom for nappy changing, hands and face wash before nap and after lunch... and she throws two more children into the bathroom and shuts the door... to which one of the children turns on the tap to the water basin and another shoves her finger up the spout.. thus causing incredible cold water over everyone in the bathroom.. whilst I am holding a two year old on a change table with SHIT everywhere... I yelled at HER. I did first shout the name of the child with her finger up the water spout. But it is utterly impossible to expect me to control five (I think six actually - there was another child in the room not belonging to my room) But - yep I yelled for help. I had one hand on the child on the change table so he didn't fall off onto the tiles and crack his head open and the other reaching towards the children with the hand basin that was saturating the tiled bathroom ... I was furious! So was other woman.
She went and told a supervisor (I don't know which) that I had yelled at the children and that I took cigarette breaks. I do. I take one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I wait for when I can see the children are quiet before I piss off for said cigarette break. I also watch other woman take personal phone calls, chat to other workers in nearby rooms, organise milo's and other food breaks for her and her fellow workers, completely piss off for half an hour god knows where when I am left alone for that time with 12 two year olds.....I didnt yell at the kids other than the girl with her finger up the tap when we all got the impromptu shower. I definitely DID yell at the woman for shoving the extra kids in the room. When I got back into the room and she said to me just pat the children until they sleep I just did it. I am new.. I cant argue and I certainly knew saying what I wanted to say in front of twelve 2 year olds wasnt wise. And the children I am happy to pat to sleep. Other woman pissed off up the rooms to once again leave me alone with them A float kindly came past and helped with some of the little things - sheets for children who didnt bring them etc. Eight minutes later was my lunch and the second my relief came in the room I was out the door.
I went home.. considered eating and decided that would probably give me indigestion. I hung out laundry, washed dishes and sorted socks. Counted heaps. Told myself it was an isolated incident and not to worry about it. For heavens sake the woman who had annoyed me steals food from the children, brings her own kids to the centre to wake up our kids and give them germs when her kids are sick, ignores timetables, writes utter rubbish as observations and is so careless with her comments to the children it breaches even what parents are taught via the media on what to say to toddlers. It is hard work - I am not denying that. It's somewhat difficult to not say "you are being disgusting" instead of "your actions are disgusting" as a kid smears snot or shit into something. I am not denying that either. And I am very conscious of the fact carer does have tooth pain, wont fix it because it is too expensive and instead gets bad tempered or seeks pain relief - at the expense of the room.
I got back to work - as other carer leaves for her lunch. She informs me that the children are to stay in their beds until 2.30. Four are already awake.. and its 1 pm. I can see this is so not gunna work.
The senior of our block.. pulled me aside to her room.. (I had aimed to get the list of things "wrong" with our room fixed at this point..) sat me on the chairs for toddlers.. to ask me about the incident. I am seated 20 cms from the ground, in a toddlers room to be interrogated about my actions. I was defensive and at first considered denying there was an incident - but she pushed with you were yelling at the children in the bathroom. (Small town too.. I know her "grown up" son)I said no.. I was yelling at the other carer. Fuck it - I did yell. But I tell ya - the kids that copped the sudden shower and slippery floor were not all that bloody shocked I did yell. I shouldn't have five (I am pretty sure there were six actually) kids in a bathroom.. full of both unhygienic and dangerous things... just because the other carer wanted the kids out of the room while she put the most disruptive kid in our room down first when every other day that kid is put to bed last. As a matter of fact I hadnt even finished making the kids beds when I took the three into the bathroom. Sometimes I can take five into the room - but when I select the kids as to the ones I know are not likely to want to play with the water, soap, flushing the loo's, pressing the hand dryer button and unravelling the toilet paper. They are TWO! They are gunna want to do all that stuff.
They dont want to stay on their beds till 2.30 just because it suits the carer. And fuck you too.. because I dont want to sit on my bed for an hour and a half and do nothing just because you are in a bad mood. If I don't want to do it.. how the hell are they gunna want too? I gave them all books.. and then let the awake ones have textas on the table and when they did colour in the table.. I didn't care. When carer came back and quizzed why they were all out of bed.. the children didn't answer and neither did I. I resisted the urge to also draw on the table.
I can be a petty bitch when it suits me. I also think the other carer would be fine if she had her toothache fixed, a little backbone installed so she didn't find it necessary to tell me stories on how she lies to her husband about smoking and money and elocution lessons wouldn't go astray. Use those vowels baby and it is not necessary to use your nasal drawl when speaking.
Carer then decided the children could all go outside. It was freezing today. Ok .. so freezing still in the + temperatures - but us tropical people don't do cold so good. I wanted to say no. But of course I dared not too. I need the money. So I made my kids run and jump, follow me on the fort and down the slippery slide and put two pairs of socks on the kids that had no shoes and wiped noses like a crazy woman.
I adore the children. I am the new person in the workplace. I should learn my place and let them continue to step all over me and ask me to do three things at once and their duties and not complain when they ask me to cover for them. I should be grateful I have full time permanent when many have been there longer and don't.
But oddly enough - really all it makes me think is... you are such a slacker Melissa. Go back into the real workforce.. do what you do...
I almost typed.. do what you do best.. but that isn't true to me. I adore loving these kids. I love every second that they tell me the colours, the sounds, the numbers and the animals. I love the hugs and kisses and hand holding and just the gentle observations they make. There isn't one kid in that room I wouldn't happily bring home tomorrow. (My wildcat I would have to move a lot of stuff for).
I get tired of other peoples stupidity. I also find my life dreadfully busy when I don't do paid work. I get tired of the good people being trod on and the stupid getting their own way. I am not saying other carer is stupid or any of those things. I just think.. maybe this is just a means to kicking me in the butt to go find a real job. I got annoyed at the sign that said "Saftey" and changed it to "Safety". I alphabetically organised the kids charts. Because I cant find them any other way. I clashed with another carer when one child was upset and she wouldnt let me intervene because it was a challenge of authority.... but in reality the child had a bottle and the carer hadnt given it to her.. of course the child was upset. There is a sign on the wall that is meant to map our day.. I try follow that. But the other carers ... all say the sign on the wall is wrong and therefore the children should remain on their beds for 2 and a half hours.
I am new. I cant tell anyone (even ever so politely) to fuck off. I cant take 5+ children into a bathroom with 5 toilets, four child sized basins and four soap dispensers, one adult sized basin and one moveable soap dispenser and a change table. I simply cant do that. Not safely. And if I cant do it safely I aint doing it.
I had an awful day at work. And - at almost go home time.. a dear little fellow asked me to pick him up - and of course I did. Diarrhoea.... it soaked threw all my clothes. My cardigan my shirt and my shorts. I was meant to go to a committee meeting. I rang and begged that if quorum was reached.. to apologise for me. I was saved by the bell.
Then of course - Anna forgot her jumper for work and MOTH didn't want to go and get dinner even though he had to go out anyway.....and Will had school soccer ....
I dont think I am gunna cut it at the new job. Best I seek something else. Which is a shame really - I thought I was loving it. But after deleting half of what I have written so as to not... be mean to people I do .. have to interact with.... The person who attempted the "disciplinary action" at my two cigarette breaks has more herself for goodness sake.
I will just have to wait for them to fire me. I am not going to go outside in the cold because they say I have to. I might run my kids around the yard twice and go back into the heating. They wont be cold because the other carers think it is easier on the cleaning. I will take my two two minute breaks because I dont have two ten minute breaks like everyone else.
If they annoy me any more I will do it naked.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Winter shopping
The cold has set in. Our nights fall to around 12-15C and the days are only 21-25C.
In case I have that wrong - here is the link to our daily temperatures.
I don't actually read it. I decide it is cold when I need a cardigan and socks.
Yesterday we did the essential winter shopping for new cardigans, shoes, socks and sleepwear. Anna came happily and William was dragged under protest. Actually - he managed to complain in complete silence so we left him at the video game shop for a few hours alone.
Lunch was nice - baby octopus, prawns, garlic pizza, fetta, olives, sausage and chicken kebabs. We gave William a ham sandwich and he was none the wiser.
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Today - Will rushed off to friends and Anna attended work and then cheerleading at basketball. I taxied. MOTH left at sparrowfart to navigate The Narrows and seek crabs and fish. Jane rang twice to tell me what she planned to do with her.. different holiday arrangements. I did laundry and half cleaned the house, cooked lasagna, roast beef and some stuff for the dogs to save time next week. When MOTH got home he started eating the food I was cooking for the dogs. FOR GOODNESS SAKE ASK! Mind you, of course the food was all originally intended for human consumption it is just not the point. I count the dogs proportions so they don't fight. Actually - I do the same for the humans too.
Oldest daughter Sara sent me two bottles of scotch on Friday night. That was a lovely gesture on her behalf. I don't know quite what motivated her. Probably me bitching I hadn't been paid - but shortly afterwards my pay did come threw. Or the fact Jane wont elaborate what makes her do... what she does to give us the simplest form of ability to understand her motivation...frustrates both Sara and myself. And maybe better - the fact her siblings... misadventures completely highlight the fact I over reacted 7 years ago to Sara's behaviour as a teenager. The oldest probably does always cop the worst.
All my girls are beautiful. Sara has to work too hard and has more responsibilities than I want her to have - nothing can change that. (Well no, she could move here and have a few of them shared with her family but she would rather hell freeze over than do that and I understand) ..Anna is spoilt rotten and cant see past the ME ME ME... but can be compassionate and caring if the event is dramatic enough.... and Jane just treads a path she cant possibly want to tread but will anyway. It is going to be very difficult for Jane and her father to suddenly become a day girl after 3 + years of boarding. He isn't there early in the mornings, and Jane is not the easiest person to motivate to school even if you are there wide awake and holding something designed to threaten. Catching a bus for almost two hours a day isn't going to be enjoyable. Assignments and tests where a drama in the past with the best support... She has bit off heaps this time.
MOTH and I drank one bottle of Sara's scotch last night. We watched the movie "Eight Below" but the combination of the scotch, my weak... whatever it is and the terrible story meant that I started my ridiculous shaking and had to get MOTH to take me to bed before the ending. I was so upset I wasn't sure I could navigate my way down the hallway to bed.
I watched the ending tonight with Anna and we both cried. What where they thinking? That is so not a Disney movie. I love Disney. That was just demented and ridiculously sad and horrid! I noticed other reviewers said it was wonderful and great for children. But I cried and cried!
I put the bubble machine on for Dotti today for ages and watched her play. (Rocky is scared of the bubble machine - Dotti thinks its a million balls and tries to catch them all... always looking a little confused that they taste of washing up liquid and cant be caught)Watching her be an idiot made me happier.
We were going to go and buy new dirt for the new garden MOTH built me - but decided the day had gone too quickly and that we could wait till next week. And after all I had cleaned the floors.
Everything is going to be ok. When Jane was little I used to say.. she will either be a Nobel prize winner or the next uni-bomber. Sara is doing fine.. she just forgets how incredibly gorgeous she is. And impatient with me because she hardly knows me really. Anna - is capable of being a complete bitch but she is just so darn beautiful doing it!? And I forget - this was the deal for Anna - just do your OP (Higher school certificate) and do it as well as you can and you can play all you like. I just forget that when it's very late and I am waiting for her to come home. And Anna knows me probably better than anyone. William is just happy so long as he isn't being dragged clothes shopping and can play. He doesn't want to discuss his health problems and is only unhappy if he thinks we are.
In case I have that wrong - here is the link to our daily temperatures.
I don't actually read it. I decide it is cold when I need a cardigan and socks.
Yesterday we did the essential winter shopping for new cardigans, shoes, socks and sleepwear. Anna came happily and William was dragged under protest. Actually - he managed to complain in complete silence so we left him at the video game shop for a few hours alone.
Lunch was nice - baby octopus, prawns, garlic pizza, fetta, olives, sausage and chicken kebabs. We gave William a ham sandwich and he was none the wiser.
.jpg)
Today - Will rushed off to friends and Anna attended work and then cheerleading at basketball. I taxied. MOTH left at sparrowfart to navigate The Narrows and seek crabs and fish. Jane rang twice to tell me what she planned to do with her.. different holiday arrangements. I did laundry and half cleaned the house, cooked lasagna, roast beef and some stuff for the dogs to save time next week. When MOTH got home he started eating the food I was cooking for the dogs. FOR GOODNESS SAKE ASK! Mind you, of course the food was all originally intended for human consumption it is just not the point. I count the dogs proportions so they don't fight. Actually - I do the same for the humans too.
Oldest daughter Sara sent me two bottles of scotch on Friday night. That was a lovely gesture on her behalf. I don't know quite what motivated her. Probably me bitching I hadn't been paid - but shortly afterwards my pay did come threw. Or the fact Jane wont elaborate what makes her do... what she does to give us the simplest form of ability to understand her motivation...frustrates both Sara and myself. And maybe better - the fact her siblings... misadventures completely highlight the fact I over reacted 7 years ago to Sara's behaviour as a teenager. The oldest probably does always cop the worst.
All my girls are beautiful. Sara has to work too hard and has more responsibilities than I want her to have - nothing can change that. (Well no, she could move here and have a few of them shared with her family but she would rather hell freeze over than do that and I understand) ..Anna is spoilt rotten and cant see past the ME ME ME... but can be compassionate and caring if the event is dramatic enough.... and Jane just treads a path she cant possibly want to tread but will anyway. It is going to be very difficult for Jane and her father to suddenly become a day girl after 3 + years of boarding. He isn't there early in the mornings, and Jane is not the easiest person to motivate to school even if you are there wide awake and holding something designed to threaten. Catching a bus for almost two hours a day isn't going to be enjoyable. Assignments and tests where a drama in the past with the best support... She has bit off heaps this time.
MOTH and I drank one bottle of Sara's scotch last night. We watched the movie "Eight Below" but the combination of the scotch, my weak... whatever it is and the terrible story meant that I started my ridiculous shaking and had to get MOTH to take me to bed before the ending. I was so upset I wasn't sure I could navigate my way down the hallway to bed.
I watched the ending tonight with Anna and we both cried. What where they thinking? That is so not a Disney movie. I love Disney. That was just demented and ridiculously sad and horrid! I noticed other reviewers said it was wonderful and great for children. But I cried and cried!
I put the bubble machine on for Dotti today for ages and watched her play. (Rocky is scared of the bubble machine - Dotti thinks its a million balls and tries to catch them all... always looking a little confused that they taste of washing up liquid and cant be caught)Watching her be an idiot made me happier.
We were going to go and buy new dirt for the new garden MOTH built me - but decided the day had gone too quickly and that we could wait till next week. And after all I had cleaned the floors.
Everything is going to be ok. When Jane was little I used to say.. she will either be a Nobel prize winner or the next uni-bomber. Sara is doing fine.. she just forgets how incredibly gorgeous she is. And impatient with me because she hardly knows me really. Anna - is capable of being a complete bitch but she is just so darn beautiful doing it!? And I forget - this was the deal for Anna - just do your OP (Higher school certificate) and do it as well as you can and you can play all you like. I just forget that when it's very late and I am waiting for her to come home. And Anna knows me probably better than anyone. William is just happy so long as he isn't being dragged clothes shopping and can play. He doesn't want to discuss his health problems and is only unhappy if he thinks we are.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
A hell of a funny post - albiet with some reality to us
Ok - because my last post was so boring.. I ask you all to peek at this...
Because at least it is funny!
Because at least it is funny!
Yet another drama
Jane (daughter no3) "self harmed" again.
When I got home from work Tuesday there was a message from Jane to ring her casual workplace and let them know she was available for the holidays. I am not terribly fond of talking on the telephone - and told Anna (daughter no2) to ring Jane and let her know that she would have to ride her bike, catch the bus or use taxi's to get to work because I am working full time and no longer available at their demand. The phone call went a little "screwy" in that Anna was blunt to her sister... and the call was definitely not a loving call between sisters. MOTH also gave his two cents as Jane argued she was not riding a bike to work - and Anna relayed the information that Jane called him a "dickhead". Jane then hung up on her end after telling Anna she wouldn't come home at all. I was cooking dinner and listening but deciding not to participate in the argument. I guess hindsight's a beautiful thing and I should of taken the phone off Anna and talked to Jane myself. I felt tired and didn't want to argue with anyone.. or disappoint Jane with this information that is fact - when Mummy works - she cant play taxi and be ready to prepare uniforms at five minutes notice. I have no excuse for my apathy. I just.. didn't bother.
I did feel hurt Jane wasn't coming home at all. I felt that was mean - ok I cant do what she wants me to do but punishing me by not coming home at all to me felt mean.
It is a funny adjustment this family has. When I don't work - we have very little spare money. When I do work - the family has extra duties and responsibilities - dinner is late, washing is done at midnight, I leave notes for the kids to do the washing up and lifts to and fro - don't occur. I reckon the world over.. knows this stuff.
So .. I waffled again.
Kids sperm donor rang last night - absolutely blasted Anna on the phone - our telephone conversation had caused Jane to cut her skin again with a blade. Anna was in tears as she relayed what he said ... he had tore into her.. threatening MOTH with bodily harm, blaming us on Jane's misadventure...
I immediately rang the hospital. The nurse at emergency told me Jane had been admitted less than three minutes ago and she would have to call me back. So.. I waited. She called back and told me that the boarding school Jane attends had instructed her that she was only to talk to the father. I was LIVID.
There are no legal constraints - I am on the emergency contact list for boarding school at number 2.
I very impolitely just hung up. The truth is.. I don't trust myself when I am that cranky and will do that on a telephone. If I say what I really think it will get me in further trouble.
I rang a friend who I knew would do her best to find out what had happened. At that stage I didn't know if Jane had really.. harmed herself or if it was just another scratching at herself to... I have no idea why she would cut herself. I just know shes being admitted to emergency and no one will talk to me.
Jane drew blood this time with the scratches. That is still all I know. She is home at her fathers. She has been expelled from boarding and plans to attend as a day girl now. We discussed the possibility of her coming home and attending a local school here. She seems concerned that isn't what the rest of the family wants. She is only going to spend one week this holidays with us. She has to visit specialist doctors (read shrinks) next week.
But here is what happened via email from the dear boarding school. For Jane's sake and no others I am going to erase the names.
I sent this last night when I was told I was not allowed to have information due to the directive of the boarding supervisor.
From: Melissa
Sent: Wednesday, 13 June 2007 9:39 PM
To:
Subject: Jane
The head of boarding tonight informed the Yeppoon hospital not to give me any information on the welfare of my daughter Jane Blank.
Ironic that I must be listed somewhere as in the past it is me who has been rang for other incidents and me who has had to travel to be at Jane's assistance. Heck - boarding has rang ME before to get the money for Jane's travel when her father hasn't paid it.
Jane's father rang her sixteen year old sister to tell her that somehow her telephone conversation with Jane last night is to blame for a serious self harm condition that has resulted in her being hospitalised.
I was present at this end of the conversation with Anna and Jane on the telephone. The conversation was relating to her holiday employment and the unavailability of myself to drive Jane to her workplace during the working hours.
And your school refuses me to even contact my daughter? Or to be told the extent of her injuries?
I hope none of you ever ring a hospital frantic with worry about your daughter and be told we cant give you any information because some stranger from boarding says only tell the father.
Melissa
The reply I got today after work was this.. and I must say it absolutely infuriated me.
From: blank
To: melchri@aapt.net.au
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2007 11:57 AM
Subject: FW: Jane
Dear Ms Collins,
I am in receipt of your email regarding your daughter Jane’s hospitalization last night.
There seems to be a few misunderstandings. We did not instruct Hospital staff not to speak to you. Mrs Blank, our Head of Boarding, was nearby when a nurse took your call. When Mrs Blank was told you had phoned, she simply remarked that we had already contacted Jane’s father because he is the parent with whom we mainly communicate. We felt it was his prerogative to contact other family members.
We know nothing of any family conversations that may have occurred, so I feel it inappropriate for me to comment on these matters.
We have had many anxious moments with Jane and are, indeed, very worried about her welfare. Blank Blank herself spent nearly five hours last night dealing with Jane’s situation.
My staff work very hard in very difficult circumstances at times – and deserve respect and support.
Blankety Blank
Principal
Which infuriated me enough to respond with this.... (I deserve an award.. you should of seen what I first wrote they could stick four dozen horny goats covered in ticks and fleas and where)
What an incredibly insulting and rude reply! I am Jane's MOTHER - I am on the list of emergency contacts. There is absolutely no reason why I should of been treated so rudely last night. I had no idea of the extent of Jane's injuries until 10pm when a family friend was able to contact Jane. Your staff might have stopped to think for a moment that Jane's father happens to be a horse trainer and is asleep early in the evenings.
I do respect the fact Mrs. Blank was present at my daughter's incident and am glad that Jane had someone familiar with her - but you seem to be overlooking the fact Mrs. Blank is paid staff. I am her mother - the only information we had was that Jane had cut herself and was being taken to the emergency room at Yeppoon and a very (understandably) upset reaction from her father to Jane's sister. There was no other information.
I am on the emergency contacts list, have been since she started at the school and the only possible reason for me to not be able to ring my own daughter would be if Jane had of requested that herself.
Hospital staff clearly stated that only the father was able to receive information on the instruction of the school.
I acknowledge that Jane's treatment for her current behavioural episodes would be further detrimented by any animosity I bear for the actions of last night. But I absolutely reiterate the fact I should of been allowed contact with my daughter and the hospital and that the school had no legal reason or right to deny it to me.
Melissa
Right. So yet another episode that thwarts my dreams of happiness for ever and ever with the perfect family.. but hasn't stopped me one second believing it will happen.
I hope you were sensible enough to go read something funny.
I LOVE funny.
When I got home from work Tuesday there was a message from Jane to ring her casual workplace and let them know she was available for the holidays. I am not terribly fond of talking on the telephone - and told Anna (daughter no2) to ring Jane and let her know that she would have to ride her bike, catch the bus or use taxi's to get to work because I am working full time and no longer available at their demand. The phone call went a little "screwy" in that Anna was blunt to her sister... and the call was definitely not a loving call between sisters. MOTH also gave his two cents as Jane argued she was not riding a bike to work - and Anna relayed the information that Jane called him a "dickhead". Jane then hung up on her end after telling Anna she wouldn't come home at all. I was cooking dinner and listening but deciding not to participate in the argument. I guess hindsight's a beautiful thing and I should of taken the phone off Anna and talked to Jane myself. I felt tired and didn't want to argue with anyone.. or disappoint Jane with this information that is fact - when Mummy works - she cant play taxi and be ready to prepare uniforms at five minutes notice. I have no excuse for my apathy. I just.. didn't bother.
I did feel hurt Jane wasn't coming home at all. I felt that was mean - ok I cant do what she wants me to do but punishing me by not coming home at all to me felt mean.
It is a funny adjustment this family has. When I don't work - we have very little spare money. When I do work - the family has extra duties and responsibilities - dinner is late, washing is done at midnight, I leave notes for the kids to do the washing up and lifts to and fro - don't occur. I reckon the world over.. knows this stuff.
So .. I waffled again.
Kids sperm donor rang last night - absolutely blasted Anna on the phone - our telephone conversation had caused Jane to cut her skin again with a blade. Anna was in tears as she relayed what he said ... he had tore into her.. threatening MOTH with bodily harm, blaming us on Jane's misadventure...
I immediately rang the hospital. The nurse at emergency told me Jane had been admitted less than three minutes ago and she would have to call me back. So.. I waited. She called back and told me that the boarding school Jane attends had instructed her that she was only to talk to the father. I was LIVID.
There are no legal constraints - I am on the emergency contact list for boarding school at number 2.
I very impolitely just hung up. The truth is.. I don't trust myself when I am that cranky and will do that on a telephone. If I say what I really think it will get me in further trouble.
I rang a friend who I knew would do her best to find out what had happened. At that stage I didn't know if Jane had really.. harmed herself or if it was just another scratching at herself to... I have no idea why she would cut herself. I just know shes being admitted to emergency and no one will talk to me.
Jane drew blood this time with the scratches. That is still all I know. She is home at her fathers. She has been expelled from boarding and plans to attend as a day girl now. We discussed the possibility of her coming home and attending a local school here. She seems concerned that isn't what the rest of the family wants. She is only going to spend one week this holidays with us. She has to visit specialist doctors (read shrinks) next week.
But here is what happened via email from the dear boarding school. For Jane's sake and no others I am going to erase the names.
I sent this last night when I was told I was not allowed to have information due to the directive of the boarding supervisor.
From: Melissa
Sent: Wednesday, 13 June 2007 9:39 PM
To:
Subject: Jane
The head of boarding tonight informed the Yeppoon hospital not to give me any information on the welfare of my daughter Jane Blank.
Ironic that I must be listed somewhere as in the past it is me who has been rang for other incidents and me who has had to travel to be at Jane's assistance. Heck - boarding has rang ME before to get the money for Jane's travel when her father hasn't paid it.
Jane's father rang her sixteen year old sister to tell her that somehow her telephone conversation with Jane last night is to blame for a serious self harm condition that has resulted in her being hospitalised.
I was present at this end of the conversation with Anna and Jane on the telephone. The conversation was relating to her holiday employment and the unavailability of myself to drive Jane to her workplace during the working hours.
And your school refuses me to even contact my daughter? Or to be told the extent of her injuries?
I hope none of you ever ring a hospital frantic with worry about your daughter and be told we cant give you any information because some stranger from boarding says only tell the father.
Melissa
The reply I got today after work was this.. and I must say it absolutely infuriated me.
From: blank
To: melchri@aapt.net.au
Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2007 11:57 AM
Subject: FW: Jane
Dear Ms Collins,
I am in receipt of your email regarding your daughter Jane’s hospitalization last night.
There seems to be a few misunderstandings. We did not instruct Hospital staff not to speak to you. Mrs Blank, our Head of Boarding, was nearby when a nurse took your call. When Mrs Blank was told you had phoned, she simply remarked that we had already contacted Jane’s father because he is the parent with whom we mainly communicate. We felt it was his prerogative to contact other family members.
We know nothing of any family conversations that may have occurred, so I feel it inappropriate for me to comment on these matters.
We have had many anxious moments with Jane and are, indeed, very worried about her welfare. Blank Blank herself spent nearly five hours last night dealing with Jane’s situation.
My staff work very hard in very difficult circumstances at times – and deserve respect and support.
Blankety Blank
Principal
Which infuriated me enough to respond with this.... (I deserve an award.. you should of seen what I first wrote they could stick four dozen horny goats covered in ticks and fleas and where)
What an incredibly insulting and rude reply! I am Jane's MOTHER - I am on the list of emergency contacts. There is absolutely no reason why I should of been treated so rudely last night. I had no idea of the extent of Jane's injuries until 10pm when a family friend was able to contact Jane. Your staff might have stopped to think for a moment that Jane's father happens to be a horse trainer and is asleep early in the evenings.
I do respect the fact Mrs. Blank was present at my daughter's incident and am glad that Jane had someone familiar with her - but you seem to be overlooking the fact Mrs. Blank is paid staff. I am her mother - the only information we had was that Jane had cut herself and was being taken to the emergency room at Yeppoon and a very (understandably) upset reaction from her father to Jane's sister. There was no other information.
I am on the emergency contacts list, have been since she started at the school and the only possible reason for me to not be able to ring my own daughter would be if Jane had of requested that herself.
Hospital staff clearly stated that only the father was able to receive information on the instruction of the school.
I acknowledge that Jane's treatment for her current behavioural episodes would be further detrimented by any animosity I bear for the actions of last night. But I absolutely reiterate the fact I should of been allowed contact with my daughter and the hospital and that the school had no legal reason or right to deny it to me.
Melissa
Right. So yet another episode that thwarts my dreams of happiness for ever and ever with the perfect family.. but hasn't stopped me one second believing it will happen.
I hope you were sensible enough to go read something funny.
I LOVE funny.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
A Tuesday night
Anna and I spent the night together in her bed... with the heater (we call it the Sun because Dotti the wonderdog treats it as the sun inside) and we both agreed we scared each other on how our emotions and words got so carried away. We cried at Law and Order together and giggled at Sex in the City.
All is good.
When she came to Kindy today to tell me she had found her phone I was cuddling small children. She told me she didnt like that. I understand that. And I feel - content again with my beautiful family.
All is good.
When she came to Kindy today to tell me she had found her phone I was cuddling small children. She told me she didnt like that. I understand that. And I feel - content again with my beautiful family.
The phones been found!
With a dramatic twist ... Anna has her phone back. One of her "friends" stole it. And - somehow the grapevine got hold of that information and Anna has her phone. She has agreed to curtail her party activities for a little while.
I didnt even listen as she rattled off her plans to buy a second phone to take to parties.
I didnt even listen as she rattled off her plans to buy a second phone to take to parties.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Terrible two's are nothing - wait for teenage girls!
Actually - choosing the title for this story isn't easy!
This photo was taken of me and my beautiful baby girls in 1992. Back in the horrid days of film camera where if you messed it up - you just messed it up. You couldn't take 300 of one thing. Sigh.
But I like this photo. Photo's of all the girls are rare in my album. See little Sara - with Anna on her knee? She was like their second mother - clucking and fussing over them. I used to watch in horror really - so much work for her, she so young and me telling her to watch her sisters, hold them, don't let them eat that and she took delight in playing "mother" to her sisters. She lived with her father and grandmother in Jugiong - for many reasons 98% of them considered to be the best move for her at that time. We would fly her up school holidays almost every time. The only times we didn't where when I couldn't find the finances to do it. (My three younger children have a different father to Sara)
So there is fifteen years of water under the bridge now. Some of the water was gorgeous and wonderful, some murky and unclear and some fucking tsunami proportions. Just excuse my terrible language - I feel perfectly okay to sit on the roof and just swear all the most awful words I know randomly. Good thing to me its cold outside today.
Yeah - I know - stop waffling on and tell why I am so wild.
When Sara went to Stella Maris (girls school in Manly) I felt sorry for her in that many girls at that school had money (and her parents where peasants and she attended the school at the good grace of her paternal aunt) - and so I went and got her a mobile phone exactly the same as mine. So this is 8 years ago? About that. I was warned this was a bad idea. But I figured I couldn't do much for her so far away for me and this would help her in the "prestige" stakes. I was after all once a teenager myself and understood that. The plan it was on should not of cost more than $40 a month - however Sara's first bill was $250. I rang her immediately.. cease and desist.. I understood the thrill being too much.. and she assured me it would be... curtailed. I understood too because I had the exact same phone and plan and even mine was a naughty $70. And then Sara's next bill was $250 too. Alarm bells started ringing. Then I would try ring her and a strange boy would answer the phone and hang up on me! When the bill totalled $750 I rang the phone company.. cancelled the contract (ie agreed to pay the $1000 to finalise it) and let it go.
My mobile phone is the exact same mobile phone from that ancient plan.
Daughter no2 has had a mobile phone for the past three years too. Cheapies ran on prepaid credit.. no lock in bills etc. Anna has been... not a great deal of trouble to me usually. We have certainly had "incidents" but generally Anna and I share lots of laughs and secrets. We bitch like friends instead of mother and daughter. We fight and argue like friends (usually) instead of mother and daughter. She can make me understand even her most dreadful actions.
BUT - add dramatic scary music here.
Anna told me that the "best" deals for phones where all on contract... and kept up this argument for quite some time. I explained to her that I had already fallen for the contract deal with her sister.. and that I didn't want to incur a debt that made me feel so bitter again.
Anna persisted in her clever arguments. She argued she had her own income. She argued she was responsible with money. She argued that I could trust her. She argued she wasn't Sara. She argued that it made better $ sense.
And I gave in. And the day before Anna left to the Pink concert - I signed for a phone thingy that had Internet and camera and video etc... for my dear baby No 2. And off she went for her adventure. Home she came as happy as can be.
And then.. suddenly.. with no warning... Anna and I had a terrible terrible fight. I wanted to watch tv in her room. (MOTH likes to watch awful shows so when he does I go watch tv with her) She told me how dreadful I was and how I made her entire life miserable and everything was my fault - and the fight started when she proclaimed she wanted to drop out of school? And that everyone Else's parents had nice cars and didn't turn up daggy anywhere and that feeding children strange and somewhat exotic vegetables (bok choy) could be classed as cruelty. And I had consumed a few wines - so she cleverly added that the wine makes me a complete bitch... and I guess I am so used to being belittled.. I copped my wounds from her words squarely and went to bed very sad and upset. She left for school early Tuesday.. leaving me a note... the mobile phone was broken and I had to ring the company to give them my drivers license as confirmation as to who i was for the insurance claim.
I was so .. flabbergasted? She had led me into a useless fight about nothing that did nothing but bewilder and frighten me. And while I nursed my tear sore eyes and swollen nose... and read her note... she had FUCKING broken the brand new phone... and chose instead to be on the offensive rather than the defensive...
I had wonderful visitors and so had to downplay my hurt a little... and yet I felt so bloody stupid. My girlfriend, Moth and even Sara had warned me this was a stupid move on my part. And eventually two weeks later my insurance claim was processed and a replacement phone came.
So - Ok we move on. More water under the bridge and no time to feed the ducks and admire the lillie's.
Very early Saturday morning Anna arrives home from a party I wasn't all that keen on her going to - covered in a blanket with her clothes all wet wearing someone Else's clothes. And her friend.. is definitely ill.. (Simone) and MOTH's a little irritated... and I calm him down with.. oh for heavens sake you were young once too.. they are home safe.. all is well.
This very Saturday I was invited (three hours before I should add - no one ever remembers me) to a party at one of the few friends I have locally. A bloody Tupperware party. Kelly is one of my most lovely friends.. but a bloody Tupperware party! But I think - heck its an excuse to drink bubbles during the day. And I did break her ski tube.
I don't get many excuses to go out by myself with adults and have a drink during the day like that. And I quickly make some chicken meatballs and wings... and rock on over. To a room full of women I don't know except the host and my long term friend Meg. One or two I have seen before but I don't know. No one introduces me to anyone. But I am feeling brave. I am gunna enjoy myself.
At the first excuse I can see I clear out of the room where the demonstration of plastic crap for the kitchen is going on. (After I ate all the anchovy olives - I love them)Anyway - the women were LOVELY. We giggled and laughed.. swapped stories.. slipped down our glasses of bubbles in a ridiculous fashion.. told jokes... exchanged phone numbers, discussed SUITABLE excuses for parties.. (ie - none) rather than come buy stuff you don't want... I am on A ROLL BABY. I AM LAUGHING AND HAVING FUN... I have already decided Mahli, Kathy and Joy No2 are keepers for friends. They are funny and nice - and have nothing stuck up their backsides to make them mean.
One thing happened that wasnt so nice. I was talking to Mahli about drafting and engineers and boring stuff like pdf-ing maps I guess... and it must of bored my friend Meg. So suddenly.. she said "I just cant picture Mel working in CHILDCARE" and she proceeded to laugh for .. what felt like an abnormally long amount of time. She ended her very long laugh.. with.. "I am sorry I must sound like a real bitch". I said what I could... "Nah - tis ok... I am sure you could say worse".
But - her actions did hurt... but Mahli seemed to miss them other than the quizzical face of hers at Meg's laughter.. so it had to be ok?
And then Anna arrived. She was hungover.. I knew that. But I didnt expect her to be so ungracious and rude as I introduced her to my new found friends. She snarled at me to go home. She barely acknowledged my introductions to the ladies. She kept insisting I had had almost two hours so therefore it was time for me to go home. Nope. I wanted to stay. MOTH took Anna and Meg home. And he came back. And I kept playing till I couldnt play anylonger.
I walked back inside and hollared at Anna.. why the heck was she so rude. And she went back for me.. why the heck cant I just go home I had been told I only had two hours etc. The fight esculated as I said.. no way I am the adult if I want to have fun I can...and it soon got out of hand - utterly out of hand where in we were so mean to each other it was rediculous... and I said.. thats it .. go then - live with your father if I am so awful.. and she said.. I am off to Madisons.
Good then.
She rang at 7 am Sunday morning and said do I come home or stay at Madison's. I said.. "Come home I guess... yes.. for goodness sake come home."
We stayed cool to each other last night. And I really hurt. My beautiful baby was mad at me because I had the hide to want to stay out longer than two hours... and I felt really really bad.
Tonight she told me.. on the Friday night she went out and came home with her vomit ridden clothes that she dumped at the front steps and someone elses blanket and bad temper for me.... she lost the goddamn phone. I dont think I want to do another insurance claim on this phone. Its less than two weeks since we got the replacement. My insurance record is almost perfect.. I have made one claim in 1989 and I wasnt at fault.
For Joy, Moth and Sara who can all tell me "I told you so"... I thank you all so much for not saying it.
Signed... Mel the dumbass.
This photo was taken of me and my beautiful baby girls in 1992. Back in the horrid days of film camera where if you messed it up - you just messed it up. You couldn't take 300 of one thing. Sigh.
But I like this photo. Photo's of all the girls are rare in my album. See little Sara - with Anna on her knee? She was like their second mother - clucking and fussing over them. I used to watch in horror really - so much work for her, she so young and me telling her to watch her sisters, hold them, don't let them eat that and she took delight in playing "mother" to her sisters. She lived with her father and grandmother in Jugiong - for many reasons 98% of them considered to be the best move for her at that time. We would fly her up school holidays almost every time. The only times we didn't where when I couldn't find the finances to do it. (My three younger children have a different father to Sara)
So there is fifteen years of water under the bridge now. Some of the water was gorgeous and wonderful, some murky and unclear and some fucking tsunami proportions. Just excuse my terrible language - I feel perfectly okay to sit on the roof and just swear all the most awful words I know randomly. Good thing to me its cold outside today.
Yeah - I know - stop waffling on and tell why I am so wild.
When Sara went to Stella Maris (girls school in Manly) I felt sorry for her in that many girls at that school had money (and her parents where peasants and she attended the school at the good grace of her paternal aunt) - and so I went and got her a mobile phone exactly the same as mine. So this is 8 years ago? About that. I was warned this was a bad idea. But I figured I couldn't do much for her so far away for me and this would help her in the "prestige" stakes. I was after all once a teenager myself and understood that. The plan it was on should not of cost more than $40 a month - however Sara's first bill was $250. I rang her immediately.. cease and desist.. I understood the thrill being too much.. and she assured me it would be... curtailed. I understood too because I had the exact same phone and plan and even mine was a naughty $70. And then Sara's next bill was $250 too. Alarm bells started ringing. Then I would try ring her and a strange boy would answer the phone and hang up on me! When the bill totalled $750 I rang the phone company.. cancelled the contract (ie agreed to pay the $1000 to finalise it) and let it go.
My mobile phone is the exact same mobile phone from that ancient plan.
Daughter no2 has had a mobile phone for the past three years too. Cheapies ran on prepaid credit.. no lock in bills etc. Anna has been... not a great deal of trouble to me usually. We have certainly had "incidents" but generally Anna and I share lots of laughs and secrets. We bitch like friends instead of mother and daughter. We fight and argue like friends (usually) instead of mother and daughter. She can make me understand even her most dreadful actions.
BUT - add dramatic scary music here.
Anna told me that the "best" deals for phones where all on contract... and kept up this argument for quite some time. I explained to her that I had already fallen for the contract deal with her sister.. and that I didn't want to incur a debt that made me feel so bitter again.
Anna persisted in her clever arguments. She argued she had her own income. She argued she was responsible with money. She argued that I could trust her. She argued she wasn't Sara. She argued that it made better $ sense.
And I gave in. And the day before Anna left to the Pink concert - I signed for a phone thingy that had Internet and camera and video etc... for my dear baby No 2. And off she went for her adventure. Home she came as happy as can be.
And then.. suddenly.. with no warning... Anna and I had a terrible terrible fight. I wanted to watch tv in her room. (MOTH likes to watch awful shows so when he does I go watch tv with her) She told me how dreadful I was and how I made her entire life miserable and everything was my fault - and the fight started when she proclaimed she wanted to drop out of school? And that everyone Else's parents had nice cars and didn't turn up daggy anywhere and that feeding children strange and somewhat exotic vegetables (bok choy) could be classed as cruelty. And I had consumed a few wines - so she cleverly added that the wine makes me a complete bitch... and I guess I am so used to being belittled.. I copped my wounds from her words squarely and went to bed very sad and upset. She left for school early Tuesday.. leaving me a note... the mobile phone was broken and I had to ring the company to give them my drivers license as confirmation as to who i was for the insurance claim.
I was so .. flabbergasted? She had led me into a useless fight about nothing that did nothing but bewilder and frighten me. And while I nursed my tear sore eyes and swollen nose... and read her note... she had FUCKING broken the brand new phone... and chose instead to be on the offensive rather than the defensive...
I had wonderful visitors and so had to downplay my hurt a little... and yet I felt so bloody stupid. My girlfriend, Moth and even Sara had warned me this was a stupid move on my part. And eventually two weeks later my insurance claim was processed and a replacement phone came.
So - Ok we move on. More water under the bridge and no time to feed the ducks and admire the lillie's.
Very early Saturday morning Anna arrives home from a party I wasn't all that keen on her going to - covered in a blanket with her clothes all wet wearing someone Else's clothes. And her friend.. is definitely ill.. (Simone) and MOTH's a little irritated... and I calm him down with.. oh for heavens sake you were young once too.. they are home safe.. all is well.
This very Saturday I was invited (three hours before I should add - no one ever remembers me) to a party at one of the few friends I have locally. A bloody Tupperware party. Kelly is one of my most lovely friends.. but a bloody Tupperware party! But I think - heck its an excuse to drink bubbles during the day. And I did break her ski tube.
I don't get many excuses to go out by myself with adults and have a drink during the day like that. And I quickly make some chicken meatballs and wings... and rock on over. To a room full of women I don't know except the host and my long term friend Meg. One or two I have seen before but I don't know. No one introduces me to anyone. But I am feeling brave. I am gunna enjoy myself.
At the first excuse I can see I clear out of the room where the demonstration of plastic crap for the kitchen is going on. (After I ate all the anchovy olives - I love them)Anyway - the women were LOVELY. We giggled and laughed.. swapped stories.. slipped down our glasses of bubbles in a ridiculous fashion.. told jokes... exchanged phone numbers, discussed SUITABLE excuses for parties.. (ie - none) rather than come buy stuff you don't want... I am on A ROLL BABY. I AM LAUGHING AND HAVING FUN... I have already decided Mahli, Kathy and Joy No2 are keepers for friends. They are funny and nice - and have nothing stuck up their backsides to make them mean.
One thing happened that wasnt so nice. I was talking to Mahli about drafting and engineers and boring stuff like pdf-ing maps I guess... and it must of bored my friend Meg. So suddenly.. she said "I just cant picture Mel working in CHILDCARE" and she proceeded to laugh for .. what felt like an abnormally long amount of time. She ended her very long laugh.. with.. "I am sorry I must sound like a real bitch". I said what I could... "Nah - tis ok... I am sure you could say worse".
But - her actions did hurt... but Mahli seemed to miss them other than the quizzical face of hers at Meg's laughter.. so it had to be ok?
And then Anna arrived. She was hungover.. I knew that. But I didnt expect her to be so ungracious and rude as I introduced her to my new found friends. She snarled at me to go home. She barely acknowledged my introductions to the ladies. She kept insisting I had had almost two hours so therefore it was time for me to go home. Nope. I wanted to stay. MOTH took Anna and Meg home. And he came back. And I kept playing till I couldnt play anylonger.
I walked back inside and hollared at Anna.. why the heck was she so rude. And she went back for me.. why the heck cant I just go home I had been told I only had two hours etc. The fight esculated as I said.. no way I am the adult if I want to have fun I can...and it soon got out of hand - utterly out of hand where in we were so mean to each other it was rediculous... and I said.. thats it .. go then - live with your father if I am so awful.. and she said.. I am off to Madisons.
Good then.
She rang at 7 am Sunday morning and said do I come home or stay at Madison's. I said.. "Come home I guess... yes.. for goodness sake come home."
We stayed cool to each other last night. And I really hurt. My beautiful baby was mad at me because I had the hide to want to stay out longer than two hours... and I felt really really bad.
Tonight she told me.. on the Friday night she went out and came home with her vomit ridden clothes that she dumped at the front steps and someone elses blanket and bad temper for me.... she lost the goddamn phone. I dont think I want to do another insurance claim on this phone. Its less than two weeks since we got the replacement. My insurance record is almost perfect.. I have made one claim in 1989 and I wasnt at fault.
For Joy, Moth and Sara who can all tell me "I told you so"... I thank you all so much for not saying it.
Signed... Mel the dumbass.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Full time - permanent
It has been raining every day this week. This week is my third week into the childcare work foray - and rain is a trying time for carers and children.
Today - as I patted one almost sleeping child's back and cuddled another, the director of the centre offered me full time permanent work in the same room I have been for the past two weeks. As the snuggling child twiddled my hair (into a giant bloody knot I should add) while I patted the almost sleeping child... there was no other reply. I couldn't of said no for any reason.
So - there we have it. My bad temper and frustration and lack of cooperation with the job market has ended. I am once again, gainfully employed.
Did I tell you these children like Mozart and we all like to lay near the window and watch the rain? We are made for each other really. And it is a no contest on who it is easier to work for - two year olds or lawyers.
Today - as I patted one almost sleeping child's back and cuddled another, the director of the centre offered me full time permanent work in the same room I have been for the past two weeks. As the snuggling child twiddled my hair (into a giant bloody knot I should add) while I patted the almost sleeping child... there was no other reply. I couldn't of said no for any reason.
So - there we have it. My bad temper and frustration and lack of cooperation with the job market has ended. I am once again, gainfully employed.
Did I tell you these children like Mozart and we all like to lay near the window and watch the rain? We are made for each other really. And it is a no contest on who it is easier to work for - two year olds or lawyers.
Monday, June 04, 2007
We are fans of Ian Wright... however
It rained on the weekend - so our adventures on the water didnt happen. Instead we gardened!(And soccer and endless taxiing and girlfriends and wine and.... nothing out of the ordinary)
But.... MOTH and I have always been fans of Ian Wright. He is just so like able? And MOTH's surname is Wright.. so we get a little kick out of that too. And we were watching him back when we lived in Brisbane when we had cable there too.. so its been a long time thing.
Anyway.. so we are watching his show on Cambodia tonight.. admiring the view and horrified at the... stuff...and MOTH says.. "What a lucky bastard.. he gets paid to do this shit." I agree.
The MOTH says "I hope the bastard doesn't have a wife and family then.. that would be too much!" .. and I went errrr....
I noted to myself it was early and he was still quite sober.
I said to MOTH - "Don't you mean it the other way around and you hope the bastard does have a wife and family?"
He said "NO - the bastard cant have EVERYTHING!"
I found that terribly ... romantic and loving. I suddenly felt very humble and undeserving. I certainly turned over in my head what we will do to look after MOTH when we have sent him completely mad.
When he fell asleep I did Google.. and Ian Wright does have a wife and family! If anyone tells MOTH that.. I swear I will slap you and not worry about the assault charge.
But.... MOTH and I have always been fans of Ian Wright. He is just so like able? And MOTH's surname is Wright.. so we get a little kick out of that too. And we were watching him back when we lived in Brisbane when we had cable there too.. so its been a long time thing.
Anyway.. so we are watching his show on Cambodia tonight.. admiring the view and horrified at the... stuff...and MOTH says.. "What a lucky bastard.. he gets paid to do this shit." I agree.
The MOTH says "I hope the bastard doesn't have a wife and family then.. that would be too much!" .. and I went errrr....
I noted to myself it was early and he was still quite sober.
I said to MOTH - "Don't you mean it the other way around and you hope the bastard does have a wife and family?"
He said "NO - the bastard cant have EVERYTHING!"
I found that terribly ... romantic and loving. I suddenly felt very humble and undeserving. I certainly turned over in my head what we will do to look after MOTH when we have sent him completely mad.
When he fell asleep I did Google.. and Ian Wright does have a wife and family! If anyone tells MOTH that.. I swear I will slap you and not worry about the assault charge.
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