Tom

At 6.14am Monday 27th October my oldest daughter Sara and her partner Chris welcomed Thomas Raymond into the world. It was Chris's birthday on the 26th so he had to endure the long labour after a day out golfing enjoying a drink. I was thousands of kilometres away and amazed that Sara kept texting me until just after midnight to keep me informed. I had a sleepless night just waiting and worrying. I was ridiculously sober.

I wasted my two days off work and did buggar all really. I considered having the full week off - but after wasting the two days I figured best I get back. No more wasting my days off for my kids.

Here is my grandson Jay with his new brother Tom. Jay looks dreadfully serious doesn't he?
According to Sara Jay is besotted by his brother.
They are Manly fans - but we don't hold football against them of course.
She is probably going to want to kill me for posting pictures of her hours after giving birth on the Internet. It is OK - I have done heaps worse.
Sara has big boobs hey? She has to be pleased about THAT!
The happy (and the gappy?) family.

My colleague and friend welcomed her granddaughter the exact same day - but we were first so therefore - we won. Today she bought her tiny granddaughter - Charlotte Louise into my work to show her off... and I burst into tears. I wont get to see Sara,Tom and Jay until the December Kylie Minogue trip .....

For added bullshit drama Jane chose Monday to cut her wrists again. So - her father has rescued her from the tent and she... well... I don't know. She is safe in a house with people that love her again. People that cannot understand and feel utterly useless.... and I can't describe this properly. It is - for one second we were all happy and celebrating and the next we were all appalled and feeling useless and... well... I really can't describe this properly. I don't really know what happened.. I sent Jane the phone photo of the baby and Tuesday morning my second daughter rings to tell me Jane has been in hospital and has stitches and bandages.... and her father had to go and get her. I have to give my children's father that - in a crisis we work together. Occasionally we snip and snap at each other. But.. he comes through when he is needed. I don't know if Sara knows anything about that - and am a little worried about her reaction to that. Maybe she knows more than me. The kids dad and I always feel we know everything last.

Then - just to top the week off... I have been looking for MONTHS for a suitable new car. MOTH (man of the house aka Christian) tells me it is my car. But he definately has opinions. Our ford falcon has almost 700,000 kms on the odometer. The car is a bloody legend. But now - it has had it. The registration runs out on the 1st December. I find a well priced 2 year old ford falcon that will suit our needs. We need to tow - and we have had good luck with fords. But I didnt wait for MOTH to go and secure the car at the dealership. So he reacted by firstly arriving at the dealership and yelling at me and secondly when I get home and my girlfriend Meg is waiting for nibblies and has wine... another family train wreck occurs in company. Oh... heck it has been a week.

Anyway - we bought the car. I needed him as a co signature on the loan because I only clear $500 a week and I didn't wan't to owe money for more than 3 years. I pick it up tommorrow. But this week has just been... incredible. It probably wasn't a good idea writing about it except to serve once again as my sometimes diary.

Anyway -as I clean up after the train wreck that simply was another week, and hide the blushing and trembling from you that is my embarrassment... It will all be fine really.

Oh - and I hate working without my regular coworker. I hate bullshit workplace politics. But - I just took on a car loan so I can't quit now until I pay for it. I am going to save my holidays for a week there are no dramas and do the things I like best.

Dear Friends and Family,

Sara has had a show and is at Windsor Hospital with contractions at 6.5 minutes apart... resting, watching TV and not laughing at any of her mother's extremely funny jokes. So baby should be with us soon enough. I am taking a few days off work to celebrate... (or because good excuses are hard to find and I put in for these days when we first found out about her pregnancy ages ago).

I rang Dad - he had completely forgotten Sara was pregnant. I told him about the wonderful pictures of Uncle Bill and Jane and the Priddles at the departure of the Coral Princess - and he told me to print them all out and bring them when we get there in December.

Peter - he told me that you guys return from Sparky's (the dog) showing in Sydney. Please let us know how he went.

Jokes about how old I am - you can all fuck off stuff off with. I am a young, fun Grandmother.

I think they are going to call the baby Thomas Raymond (yes the hideous complications with THAT... maybe they are just joking on that too. Bad taste funny jokes seem to be absolutely rampant within my girls at the moment.)

I have a bottle of bubbles on standby as I wait impatiently unable to concentrate on much. I really should make my self concentrate on the pictures I promised for the baby's room.

Any of the Stevens' family reading this... don't forget to tell me EVERYTHING.

Jay is being babysat by Sara's step father-in-law. I hope he gets a few days off too.

Love Nanny Mel.

P.S. Jill - tell your daughter to hurry up. We could fit in lunch and some baby shopping if she would just be a little thoughtful and do it at the same time!

Long time - no post

I have no real excuses. Nothing all that interesting happened that I felt the need to write about it. Heaps of things happened. I wasn't all that productive on the home front - I still have projects unfinished and lists all over the place. I haven't been fishing or boating as much as I would of liked. I just went to work, came home, smelt the roses whilst watering the garden and admired the mad lorikeets, galahs, crested pigeons and finches that expect me to feed them.

My son and partner have had fishing adventures. Mostly on weekends I just do housework, fiddle with assignments and prepare food for friends and family. Drink wine and enjoy their company.



William is sorting freshly caught prawns in this photo - the medium size ones we ate and the smaller ones they used for bait. The normal adventures with mudcrabs that escaped in the boat and had to be caught.

Heaps of adventures with my daughters - especially the teenagers. Right now - Jane IS living in a tent at a caravan park charging her ipod and phone in the communal bathroom. She came home last week claiming her father was impossible but she was willing to live under our rules because she understood she had no choice until she was comfortable financially. That lasted two nights - on the second when I said "No" to her sleeping at her friends house that had that day been to court and is facing juvenile detention ... everything flew out the window. Well - no - actually this time nothing was thrown.. barely even words if you don't count... "Fuck you all I will live in my tent." I was a bit amazed because I didn't think Jane could actually assemble a tent - but hey wonders never cease! Hopefully this wont last too long. I will go there on Saturday morning and see if I can find the right words JUST once for this girl. I stupidly got her a babysitting job that allowed her to have the money to catch the train back to Rockhampton. I will feel a bit stupid when that parent asks me for Jane to babysit again and have to explain Jane is no longer available... sitting in her tent at some caravan park so she can work at her beloved MacDonald's. She has lost heaps of weight and seems a little over confident - but she is still taciturn and it makes her suffer more than she should. I KNOW she is suffering with no money at the park but until she rings I will not do anything.

Gawd - enough of that - its making me dizzy.

Anna owes more money than many 30 year olds, however her most important concern is the Year 12 formal and whether or not I chose a nice photograph for her schoolies passport. I fixed her computer and had it here for three weeks with her brother and his mates happily using it and when I delivered it to her... within one week it had a virus that had her crying on the phone. That is pretty incredible when you consider she isn't on line at her fathers.The teenage girls plug their stuff into Anna's pc... oh who knows. Anyway that is another job for Saturday. The irony lay in that her father DID get her the Internet... and the PC is not working. Oh - and because Anna is the opposite of taciturn (word web says voluble... and I have never heard that word said!) SOMEHOW when I am talking to this little lady who keeps borrowing money she cannot repay I am somehow considering buying the accessories for her formal ..... ARGHHHHHH.

Sara (my oldest daughter) is now heavily pregnant and due in the next two weeks. Finally - someone told me the sex of the baby (apparently I can't keep a secret so I wasn't to be told) and......... I bloody told Anna - and when Sara rang her.... Anna said "Oh and Mum said the baby is a boy." Brilliant ... just brilliant.

My girls and me. Good grief. I am guessing you can see why I haven't posted.

BUT - Sara stuffed up too. She rang Jane (Jane..at her tent in the caravan park after recharging her mobile phone in the communal bathroom) - and Jane said "Don't worry Sara - I will give you the $150 for the Kylie Minogue tickets for our girls trip in December" and Sara said "Oh - don't give it to me Mum paid for them all on my birthday". Brilliant Sara. I will NEVER GET EITHER DAUGHTER TO PAY FOR THEM NOW.....

And then all of that idea seems to be stuffed up too... because I didn't book time off at work and three people have already beaten me to the dates of the concert. Actually I haven't even booked our airfares for that trip yet. I think if Sara is not too mad at me for not going to see her and the baby.... that I should just gift it to her and she should do with it as she pleases. I would love to see my family at Cootamundra. But the amazing thing about them is that they will understand .... I am a little furious with my mother when I told her about my daughters antics.. she was so... oh all my Bowral friends children are so successful and perfect. And sadly my reaction was.... well my daughters happen to be pretty... so fuck your successful, perfect and sensible kids..... ARGHHHHHHHHHHH

Ohhhh... and I was demented over that afternoons conversation. I remembered every single thing I felt my mother didn't do for me. And I cried when I realised that's how Jane feels... Jane thinks we just sent her away to boarding school and that the others were preferred. I never even had the chance to do ANYTHING for Sara... her family had all the keys there. I don't feel comfortable intruding there. I didn't want to be the intruder. But I am.

And just when work was looking and acting perfect.... it has became horrendous. And I don't think it would be prudent for me to post about my misery with that here. Suffice to say - this world can be a pretty cruel place. It is unlikely I will quit. I have no debts - so I can if I want. My girls have few expectations of me. I know two of them love me and I love my times with them. My son wont mind one bit if I say we are off to live on a houseboat. MOTH (Christian my partner) seems to just tolerate anything I do. I adore the kids I work with. There are about 18 staff at my work. Two I find intolerable, unprofessional, mean and occasionally stupid. I don't know what to do. I will just do my best at remaining tolerable, professional, kind and using my brains. Parenthood isnt easy.

Lots of things in life are wonderful. But lots .. just are not. But I am fine. I may have to find committees and stuff to join again soon. Oh well.