It is painfully obvious that I have been extremely lazy for lengths of time best not thought of too hard.
Changing 12+ children three times a day EXHAUSTS me. Chasing toddlers exhausts me. Hand prints and spilt lunches are killing me. Heck - finger painting is about as easy as it gets. If I could just convince them not to finger paint me.
I am sure it is good for me. And heck - I need and appreciate the money.
It takes me about 5-7 minutes to walk to and from work. Depending entirely on the traffic lights after the bridge. Lunch hour I walk home with the intention of doing the washing up, vacuuming, washing and tidying. We should remember bill paying, attending to the things I promise friends and acquaintance's I will do, quality time with my dogs, the shopping for daily essentials and even lunch with my girlfriend. I needed soccer strips/socks etc ready for tomorrow today - and that took me most of my lunch hour just finding them. Late last night the last thing I was doing was putting Anna's work clothes on the back of furniture to dry. I couldnt disturb anyone finding a coat hanger - and a few months ago I foolishly decided I didnt need my clothes dryer in the house any more.. and banished it to the carport. I wont use it there - too much effort stringing the long cord thingie... and too many things to fall over...It is sunny 360 days a year here.
I want my dryer back inside.
My dogs try to play ball and chase with me during lunch hour and I feel like I am dying. Both of them tell me they are suffering more. I am also trying to inhale a days worth of cigarettes into that 45 minutes. I am rediculously hungry. So while throwing washing into the maching, paying bills on the internet,throwing a ball (or a remnant of one) for Dotti and listening to the microwave beep at me for my lunch...
And insecurity battles me a little always - I worry... I cannot control the children very well - cant yell at them, cant do the "language" - I always give in to the ... socially excitable child; absolutely fall for the children that get beaten up and end up carrying them all day. I was left alone with 12 kids today and the two ... somewhat.. socially excitable children.. promptly beat the other children up... so I had five kids crying and five kids cringing in corners hiding as I tried to seperate the somewhat socially excitable kids from the rest of the group... carrying the smallest child because thats ... just the way its ended up... so of course - the director of the centre comes in. I have a room full of chaos. One kids threatening me with a wooden block. The other wont stay in the corner. The small child is still clambering on my shoulders and back. Four other children are crying from whatever pain inflicted from the two I am trying to isolate. The other five... Are hiding in the other corners. I had completely lost control of the room... and the boss comes in.
In the past I have lost jobs for perfectly good reasons. There was no need for me to call the boss archaic. I could of pulled my head in. I could of agreed to compromise what I believed in for a second. I do it almost everyday anyway.
The humiliation if I cant handle small people.....And of course we cant just exclude the kids that I cant handle. That isnt part of the "village". I believe that more feverantly than anyone. But heck... just take those two outta the room and it would be HEAVEN. Funny, loving, beautiful, smart children. One of the two has... also shown me that I could love her. About a second later she bit me.
And of course.. it is just very hard work. Every glove change for a nappy or a snotty nose... every pat on the back to help them sleep (or stay the hell in the bed) Incredible amounts of forms for EVERYTHING... and parents who really read them... (I think I was a good parent who didnt.. I dont remember challenging anyone that my childs wet or dirty movements in their nappy wasnt recorded anyway....) Then again.. I was made to do the Triple P course because I had a toddler that was.... not socially acceptable. I hated that course. It was rediculous for us.... praise good actions IGNORE bad ones. I never could ignore Jane setting fire to things etc. It just isnt in me. Found it disturbing when she bit too. Four kids all so different. But in some ways the same.
MOTH was somewhat careless in his comments tonight. He is working overtime again now... and said he wasnt taking Will to soccer Sunday morning. I was selfishly mad at him - because it is still me worrying about the registration of our vehicles...and what we need for the week.... and if he has clean work shirts.
We just have to face it - I am dog gone lazy. I do jack shit but it takes up huge amounts of my time. I mean it HUGE. I will check the tides tomorrow. MOTH and I will play a little on the water. And everything will be just fine. Or it wont really matter anyway. I am just hideously tired. And 15 + kilos overweight. This job could help that.
My dogs need a bath.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Gladstone's pride and joy tonight
I don't have to write a post on Kimberley Busteed's success. My friend Joy has already done it. She has linked galore and made it quite wonderful - echoing everyones sentiments - how wonderful for a young girl from Gladstone to make it all that way to Mexico and do all that exciting stuff.
I wrote about it here... and I have certainly heard the excitement of the younger teenage girls in our small city since then.
You don't always need first prize to be a winner.
For the record... my feelings on Miss USA falling over... just sadness and horror for her. Probably because its usually me that does things like that - not at something so big ok - but none-the-less.. whenever I have wanted to make a good impression I usually fook up. Tuck my skirt into my knickers. Forget my knickers. Try to out drink someone and end up falling over. Into the punch or cake. Insult someone accidently. That kind of comedy holds nothing for me. I feel guilty laughing at someone elses demise. I guess mostly because I am usually the fool that fook up. And it gets somewhat tiresome to always be the brunt of everyones jokes. So I feel for that person.
I wrote about it here... and I have certainly heard the excitement of the younger teenage girls in our small city since then.
You don't always need first prize to be a winner.
For the record... my feelings on Miss USA falling over... just sadness and horror for her. Probably because its usually me that does things like that - not at something so big ok - but none-the-less.. whenever I have wanted to make a good impression I usually fook up. Tuck my skirt into my knickers. Forget my knickers. Try to out drink someone and end up falling over. Into the punch or cake. Insult someone accidently. That kind of comedy holds nothing for me. I feel guilty laughing at someone elses demise. I guess mostly because I am usually the fool that fook up. And it gets somewhat tiresome to always be the brunt of everyones jokes. So I feel for that person.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Crabbing stories.
My Sunday was spent dealing with the aftermath of the party. Hundreds of water balloons, a couple of dozen streamer poppers, plates, cups and a house that resembled what I would imagine a war zone or cyclone aftermath. The last of the children didn't leave our house until 5 pm Sunday afternoon. 
MOTH, however, went fishing and crabbing with a nice neighbour up the road. And came home with a bounty of two swimmer crabs, one mud crab, one blue salmon and two whiting.
He was very excited about the new places he was shown - reported heaps of jennys being caught (it is illegal to keep jennys in Queensland)and his excitement can be catchy.
It is Monday and I am already wishing it was weekend. I know what we are doing this weekend! Heading for the Narrows to seek more crabs.
Neighbour also suggested we all go camping June long weekend at another one of his special fishing spots. Sounds good to me!
I have today off - and back to work tomorrow... roll on weekday. I have events and adventures to plan.
MOTH, however, went fishing and crabbing with a nice neighbour up the road. And came home with a bounty of two swimmer crabs, one mud crab, one blue salmon and two whiting.He was very excited about the new places he was shown - reported heaps of jennys being caught (it is illegal to keep jennys in Queensland)and his excitement can be catchy.
It is Monday and I am already wishing it was weekend. I know what we are doing this weekend! Heading for the Narrows to seek more crabs. Neighbour also suggested we all go camping June long weekend at another one of his special fishing spots. Sounds good to me!
I have today off - and back to work tomorrow... roll on weekday. I have events and adventures to plan.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Figuring out the videos
I dont seem to have done what I am meant to to put the video on the blog.
I used dailymotion.com - that I have seen work perfectly on other peoples blogs. I also never read instructions which... could be another fault of mine.
So - HERE is the link to the video of the kids at the demise of the pinata.
I love watching it because I know what happened. And the video was made by Anna's phone... (I will sneak that story in soon) and she is hollaring in the background. That was actually the last hits. The small children went first and Reggie is... taller and more athletic than most of his peers so it was always deemed his turn to be last. The dogs got put inside.. children got ordered to hold their collars - but always they escaped and wouldnt stay out of the action.
The kids never listened to the instructions to wait till an adult said it was ok to run into the area to get the goodies. Christian is aka MOTH. The biggest kid. My girlfreinds and I are in the background .... waiting and hoping no one gets hurt.
No kid missed out on treats. Only paper mache pretend soccer balls were harmed in the making of this story. I know dogs should not eat chocolate - but this was a special occasion. Watching the video reminds me how Blake's brand new shirt got the holes in it. Dotti .... did that. When he was blindfolded with the stick. I wonder if I should tell his mother....
She didnt seem THAT upset when she commented on the holes under his arm on the brand new shirt. And a kid did hold Dotti for the next five hitters....
I used dailymotion.com - that I have seen work perfectly on other peoples blogs. I also never read instructions which... could be another fault of mine.
So - HERE is the link to the video of the kids at the demise of the pinata.
I love watching it because I know what happened. And the video was made by Anna's phone... (I will sneak that story in soon) and she is hollaring in the background. That was actually the last hits. The small children went first and Reggie is... taller and more athletic than most of his peers so it was always deemed his turn to be last. The dogs got put inside.. children got ordered to hold their collars - but always they escaped and wouldnt stay out of the action.
The kids never listened to the instructions to wait till an adult said it was ok to run into the area to get the goodies. Christian is aka MOTH. The biggest kid. My girlfreinds and I are in the background .... waiting and hoping no one gets hurt.
No kid missed out on treats. Only paper mache pretend soccer balls were harmed in the making of this story. I know dogs should not eat chocolate - but this was a special occasion. Watching the video reminds me how Blake's brand new shirt got the holes in it. Dotti .... did that. When he was blindfolded with the stick. I wonder if I should tell his mother....
She didnt seem THAT upset when she commented on the holes under his arm on the brand new shirt. And a kid did hold Dotti for the next five hitters....
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Birthday Party Exhaustion
The party is over.
Update - the promised video.
It is Anna you can hear dictating to the kids what they should do. This is at the very end - all the little kids had had a go and it was Reggie's turn. It was a heck of a lot of fun.
Hone, Bryce, Reggie, Blake, Mitchell T, Josh, Sam, Shane, Dean (and his little sister Jenny), Damien, Jesse, Cael, The Webber kids (Jackie Billy and Jacob) and the McGann kids (Hannah, Mitchell and Morgan) came along with Anna and William to celebrate William's thirteenth birthday.It is 8 pm now and I am left with just Blake, William, Reggie, Bryce, Sam, Hone and Mitchell. The house is much quieter. It is still rocking though. I am almost sure I said only Hone, Mitchell and Blake can sleep over. But I have been mistaken before.
I made a pinata - much fun and laughs. Many potential dangerous moments averted. Dotti the wonderdog took exception to children hitting a ball with a stick with a blindfold and created her own unique drama by trying to attack the sticks midair while the children tryed to hit it. She had to get locked inside. There is a video of it... I will try upload it later maybe.
I cant believe how tired I am! I meant to do more preparation last night after work but I forgot about soccer - and arrived home to a full house anyway of visitors...made food and rushed to soccer... came home and fell in a heap drank wine and fell asleep... to wake in a panic this morning.
Party day. And I need it to be perfect. My girlfriend rang to remind me she had ran into another of our girlfriends and invited them... and she said.. I figured that's fine because you always over cater... I had been avoiding said girlfriend because we broke her ski tube a month ago....
I said that's fine with a handful of flour and stirring batter the entire time on the telephone remembering I had forgotten to buy cream for the layer for the cake... She said - "Do you need anything?" and I said "no no.. its all fine"... I am such a liar.
The kids had a great time. My house is utterly trashed. My dogs look lovely with their glow necklaces. Dotti has chewed up a stick under the table. My dogs love a party.
Now had the Gurtins, Lomaxs, Hills, Mannings and Kovacics been here as well......
Parties are such fun. But I am so tired.
Update - the promised video.
It is Anna you can hear dictating to the kids what they should do. This is at the very end - all the little kids had had a go and it was Reggie's turn. It was a heck of a lot of fun.
Hone, Bryce, Reggie, Blake, Mitchell T, Josh, Sam, Shane, Dean (and his little sister Jenny), Damien, Jesse, Cael, The Webber kids (Jackie Billy and Jacob) and the McGann kids (Hannah, Mitchell and Morgan) came along with Anna and William to celebrate William's thirteenth birthday.It is 8 pm now and I am left with just Blake, William, Reggie, Bryce, Sam, Hone and Mitchell. The house is much quieter. It is still rocking though. I am almost sure I said only Hone, Mitchell and Blake can sleep over. But I have been mistaken before.
I made a pinata - much fun and laughs. Many potential dangerous moments averted. Dotti the wonderdog took exception to children hitting a ball with a stick with a blindfold and created her own unique drama by trying to attack the sticks midair while the children tryed to hit it. She had to get locked inside. There is a video of it... I will try upload it later maybe.
I cant believe how tired I am! I meant to do more preparation last night after work but I forgot about soccer - and arrived home to a full house anyway of visitors...made food and rushed to soccer... came home and fell in a heap drank wine and fell asleep... to wake in a panic this morning.
Party day. And I need it to be perfect. My girlfriend rang to remind me she had ran into another of our girlfriends and invited them... and she said.. I figured that's fine because you always over cater... I had been avoiding said girlfriend because we broke her ski tube a month ago....
I said that's fine with a handful of flour and stirring batter the entire time on the telephone remembering I had forgotten to buy cream for the layer for the cake... She said - "Do you need anything?" and I said "no no.. its all fine"... I am such a liar.
The kids had a great time. My house is utterly trashed. My dogs look lovely with their glow necklaces. Dotti has chewed up a stick under the table. My dogs love a party.
Now had the Gurtins, Lomaxs, Hills, Mannings and Kovacics been here as well......
Parties are such fun. But I am so tired.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
My first week working in childcare - some observations
Things I learnt this week. My first ever stint of employment in the childcare industry.
Never wear a skirt to kindy. Small children just think a skirt is another place to stick their heads into or hide. It can be alarming to suddenly find a three year old in between your legs. I wont be making that mistake twice.
Never decide to ignore a three year old playing with your shoe laces. Took me ages to get that mess undone. Actually I gave up and cut the laces shorter. Finding scissors in a safety conscious childcare centre is a bit of a disaster too. Remind me to buy new laces. Stuff it - I need Velcro.
When you put a glove on and hold a tissue to a toddler’s nose and say “Blow” – they blow AFTER you remove the tissue. (Good grief!)
Never humour a child in the sandpit that you are willing to eat imaginary sand food. Suddenly a dozen small children also want to feed you or put it in your lap. One wrong turn of your head and mouth and sand is gunna get in there. Matter of fact – I endeavour to not return into the sandpit if I can possibly avoid it.
Loving parents (myself included in years gone by) carefully pack beautiful food for their beloved angels. Most of this food ends up on the floor or squished into their neighbours hair during meal times. Simple rules like no feet on the table during meal time can be extremely difficult. One tub of toddler yogurt can spread an incredible long way.
Grapes used as spit missiles are extremely fun for toddlers. Not so hygienic maybe…. But heck their giggles are hard not to smile at as you tell them it is not acceptable.
The children that cause you the greatest grief and headaches are the ones picked up the latest. The dear little ones who follow your instructions and try hard to please you will go home first.
As a parent understand that you WILL forget toddler speak. I don’t understand a word they are trying to tell me.
Beware of the little girl holding the National Geographic magazine at story time. She wants a story about the “rudy nudie man holding the spear and the turtle” no matter how much you try to encourage them to pick “Dorothy the Dinosaur”. It will take seconds before all the kids want the “rudy nudie man” too. I haven’t had a chance to read policy and procedure on that yet.
Cuddles from small children are very nice.
Never wear a skirt to kindy. Small children just think a skirt is another place to stick their heads into or hide. It can be alarming to suddenly find a three year old in between your legs. I wont be making that mistake twice.
Never decide to ignore a three year old playing with your shoe laces. Took me ages to get that mess undone. Actually I gave up and cut the laces shorter. Finding scissors in a safety conscious childcare centre is a bit of a disaster too. Remind me to buy new laces. Stuff it - I need Velcro.
When you put a glove on and hold a tissue to a toddler’s nose and say “Blow” – they blow AFTER you remove the tissue. (Good grief!)
Never humour a child in the sandpit that you are willing to eat imaginary sand food. Suddenly a dozen small children also want to feed you or put it in your lap. One wrong turn of your head and mouth and sand is gunna get in there. Matter of fact – I endeavour to not return into the sandpit if I can possibly avoid it.
Loving parents (myself included in years gone by) carefully pack beautiful food for their beloved angels. Most of this food ends up on the floor or squished into their neighbours hair during meal times. Simple rules like no feet on the table during meal time can be extremely difficult. One tub of toddler yogurt can spread an incredible long way.
Grapes used as spit missiles are extremely fun for toddlers. Not so hygienic maybe…. But heck their giggles are hard not to smile at as you tell them it is not acceptable.
The children that cause you the greatest grief and headaches are the ones picked up the latest. The dear little ones who follow your instructions and try hard to please you will go home first.
As a parent understand that you WILL forget toddler speak. I don’t understand a word they are trying to tell me.
Beware of the little girl holding the National Geographic magazine at story time. She wants a story about the “rudy nudie man holding the spear and the turtle” no matter how much you try to encourage them to pick “Dorothy the Dinosaur”. It will take seconds before all the kids want the “rudy nudie man” too. I haven’t had a chance to read policy and procedure on that yet.
Cuddles from small children are very nice.
Another friend is now Blogging!
It had to happen!
My friend Joy is now blogging.
Let's hope she starts sharing heaps of pictures and stories!
My friend Joy is now blogging.
Let's hope she starts sharing heaps of pictures and stories!
Happy Birthday William
Today was William's 13th Birthday. He is having a party on Saturday afternoon. I didnt finish work until 6.30pm today - so another soccer Mum drove him to his game for school. They won - although Will felt he spent too much time on the bench.
We went to all you can eat Chinese - his choice and he was given the choice of any dreadful takeout he wanted.
There are no major presents this year - the party is it. He knows he can expect a delayed gift and that has happened before. He happily listed to me all the things I have bought him and given him telling him - I should save this and give it to you on your birthday. My children are aware of my inability to keep such a secret.
I dont work tomorrow so I can start preparation for the party - finishing the pinata and the shopping, some of the food preparation and can do the rest Saturday morning. And Friday I finish at 3 pm so I should get the cakes cooked the night before.
And Life goes on...
There never is much time to mull on much ... always - something to attend to, more taxiing and unfolding drama's with mobile phones and the evil laundress who never seems to be on top of strips for soccer...
Thank you for your support when I had my whinge. Rox went and found me web pages with support and... wow! I just needed a cry! Had it.
Jane is back at school now and her telephone calls are back to - attending dance lessons, new phone because the n-gage is broken and can she get work at the childcare centre I have been working at this week next holidays.
She talks excitedly about all her plans and intentions and doesn't discuss the incident. Neither do I.
She talks excitedly about all her plans and intentions and doesn't discuss the incident. Neither do I.
Thank you.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Self harm
Reader skip this one - I will tread (wade slosh whateva) into it in the utter most indulgent waffling. It is my pain, my blog and my life. If I want to... feel it my way.. just indulge me and go look at the pretty pictures I have posted earlier.
Amidst the busy and sometimes hectic (but wonderful) frenzy of long time friends visiting and playtime on the water - critter watching and evenings of talk, wine and laughter.... other stuff occurred.
My local friends still needed to have respite (coffee and or wine), volunteer activities to attend to, endless taxiing of Anna and Will - four soccer games for Will in one week alone. My own insecurities/madnesses/financial worries.. my partners selflessness but yet again his need to indulge a little too... life just goes on... no matter how many times you wish it could just slow to your pace. I so need that rewind button. I am way behind. I have a list of things I have to attend to.
On Mothers Day my youngest daughter Jane "self harmed" for the second time. She did this once before... in Year 8. She, umm.. cut her arms... near her wrists... It was very shallow cuts - but of course boarding school rang me and I went and got her older sister from school... and we drove straight up. Their father came as soon as his work commitments allowed and he was really really worried. It was suggested to me that my... instant reaction to indulge wasnt fantastic. I took Jane home and just... cooked for her and painted her toenails and took her to feed the ducks. Hey - it hurts like crazy. I dont want my babies to hurt. I can do their hurt. I can protect them.
But sometimes I dont have the money. I dont have the answers.
There is always two sides to every story. And sometimes mine isnt the completely correct one. I just think it is because its my tears and my pain. Sperm donor... does care for his kids. He just sucks at ... lol.. ok lets leave it there.... But that first time was freaky enough. Sperm Donor gave me a mouthful because the.. self harm threatening comes from my side of the family (not me - dont worry - I dont know if I am willing to go to that story ever... but.. suffice to say...) he can quite rightly say "This is shit from your side of the family not mine!" and I have to agree with that. I have lived with the implication of self harm or the incidence of self harm for a long long time.
You have to worry about this stuff. My baby cut up her wrists, stomach and ankles. I cant tell you what with. Or why. I REALLY didnt ask her any of that. I simply couldnt. Weeks before Mothers day she told me she couldnt make it home because she had made other commitments. I was somewhat annoyed... but decided to just let it go. This house is tiny - money is always tight and there are a million other things for her to experience... so its all ok. I got annoyed again a few days before when I rang to check she didnt want to come... because our friends had decided to stay longer.. and I thought.. well if Jane's plans have fallen through.. she would love to come see them...... Jane... annoyed me on the phone with new plans about visiting a friend in hospital with depression. I cut the phone call short (some can read that as I hung up) .. didnt check my messages as well as I should of on Mothers day... DID know she sent one .... but missed the after ones.
My baby Jane has told people I dont feed her, dont love her, that I have battered and bashed her, dont cover her school books.......(that one really irks me... I have ALWAYS done the battle with contact times 30 for the little kids and I hate it so much)... and unfortunately for both of us.. she has managed to tell the craziest of people this rubbish. Damage control hasn't been easy. She can never explain to me what made her make the accusations in the first place. My other daughters - can make me understand even the maddest things they do.
I told two family members what happened... that was a bit of a mistake. One reacted well. The other didnt. In saying that... I also acknowledge that that person thought she was doing the "best" thing. Her offer to take our daughter 1700kms away from us.. was in the best of intentions. Complete fucking madness but the best of intentions.
Anyways - I guess I lost. Ultimately - my fight to not have Jane drugged.. didnt win. This time I didnt get the chance to argue. She has both anti depressants and sleeping tablets. An incredible waste of energy and arguments on my side. Just as I never believed Jane had attention deficit disorder - I dont believe she has depression either. But again I am more than happy to be wrong.
Jane has always been a little hard to handle. She managed to get kicked out of day care. I was told by a child care centre.. you attend a parenting class or we wont take your kids. She set fire to one house on two separate occasions. She painted the side of one of our houses with boot polish. She destroyed the upstairs carpet of a friends house with nailpolish and embossing ink once. Her chemistry experiments almost sunk our house. The stink was pretty bad too.
When my kids where toddlers I had a lot to deal with. That is no excuse. None. The two people I loved most and should of helped me ... fought. My son firstly had apneo and then the bone tumours. Jane developed asthma. I was the bad one amongst all of this. Because I just.... did what I had too. Basically I felt if the kids were alive at the end of the day I had done my job.
Jane (Ben) Stand up - hands alone.. the smartest of my four kids. But this week has been awful because I have tried to.. and not managed.. to not be self indulgent. I don't understand why Jane would cut herself. I don't understand half or more of the mad things she and my... network? sometimes friends sometimes down right idiots sometimes complete fuckwits... my family member who said.. just let me take her... ahhh I am wild. Absolutely... same family member couldn't stand up for me and never stood near me... same family member that I love... madly....
I am utterly devastated but haven't really had a chance to cry. Sperm donor is being a dickhead telling the kids that its all my fault. I will take the hereditary stuff. That is true. No one from his family ever threatened self harm... Normally sperm donor and I get on fine. He thinks I chased him for money with this bloody crap from the CSA.....the only reason it came about was because he lodged a tax return that had a huge profit...... I got a bill for it. He doesn't deserve to be treated badly but he reacts badly.
And almost always life doesn't let me react.
I cant react by going and bring Jane home. I want to, but her siblings are better off when she is at school. Sperm donor did the right thing. I understand he never wants to give me money and that is fine.
But when sperm donor said to Anna.. I am not talking to your mother... and i felt like my heart was breaking again, and I can barely have contact....
You cant fix the mistakes of the past. I dont and never will understand why Jane self harms.
I am mad as hell. I am also affected by alcohol.
Amidst the busy and sometimes hectic (but wonderful) frenzy of long time friends visiting and playtime on the water - critter watching and evenings of talk, wine and laughter.... other stuff occurred.
My local friends still needed to have respite (coffee and or wine), volunteer activities to attend to, endless taxiing of Anna and Will - four soccer games for Will in one week alone. My own insecurities/madnesses/financial worries.. my partners selflessness but yet again his need to indulge a little too... life just goes on... no matter how many times you wish it could just slow to your pace. I so need that rewind button. I am way behind. I have a list of things I have to attend to.
On Mothers Day my youngest daughter Jane "self harmed" for the second time. She did this once before... in Year 8. She, umm.. cut her arms... near her wrists... It was very shallow cuts - but of course boarding school rang me and I went and got her older sister from school... and we drove straight up. Their father came as soon as his work commitments allowed and he was really really worried. It was suggested to me that my... instant reaction to indulge wasnt fantastic. I took Jane home and just... cooked for her and painted her toenails and took her to feed the ducks. Hey - it hurts like crazy. I dont want my babies to hurt. I can do their hurt. I can protect them.
But sometimes I dont have the money. I dont have the answers.
There is always two sides to every story. And sometimes mine isnt the completely correct one. I just think it is because its my tears and my pain. Sperm donor... does care for his kids. He just sucks at ... lol.. ok lets leave it there.... But that first time was freaky enough. Sperm Donor gave me a mouthful because the.. self harm threatening comes from my side of the family (not me - dont worry - I dont know if I am willing to go to that story ever... but.. suffice to say...) he can quite rightly say "This is shit from your side of the family not mine!" and I have to agree with that. I have lived with the implication of self harm or the incidence of self harm for a long long time.
You have to worry about this stuff. My baby cut up her wrists, stomach and ankles. I cant tell you what with. Or why. I REALLY didnt ask her any of that. I simply couldnt. Weeks before Mothers day she told me she couldnt make it home because she had made other commitments. I was somewhat annoyed... but decided to just let it go. This house is tiny - money is always tight and there are a million other things for her to experience... so its all ok. I got annoyed again a few days before when I rang to check she didnt want to come... because our friends had decided to stay longer.. and I thought.. well if Jane's plans have fallen through.. she would love to come see them...... Jane... annoyed me on the phone with new plans about visiting a friend in hospital with depression. I cut the phone call short (some can read that as I hung up) .. didnt check my messages as well as I should of on Mothers day... DID know she sent one .... but missed the after ones.
My baby Jane has told people I dont feed her, dont love her, that I have battered and bashed her, dont cover her school books.......(that one really irks me... I have ALWAYS done the battle with contact times 30 for the little kids and I hate it so much)... and unfortunately for both of us.. she has managed to tell the craziest of people this rubbish. Damage control hasn't been easy. She can never explain to me what made her make the accusations in the first place. My other daughters - can make me understand even the maddest things they do.
I told two family members what happened... that was a bit of a mistake. One reacted well. The other didnt. In saying that... I also acknowledge that that person thought she was doing the "best" thing. Her offer to take our daughter 1700kms away from us.. was in the best of intentions. Complete fucking madness but the best of intentions.
Anyways - I guess I lost. Ultimately - my fight to not have Jane drugged.. didnt win. This time I didnt get the chance to argue. She has both anti depressants and sleeping tablets. An incredible waste of energy and arguments on my side. Just as I never believed Jane had attention deficit disorder - I dont believe she has depression either. But again I am more than happy to be wrong.
Jane has always been a little hard to handle. She managed to get kicked out of day care. I was told by a child care centre.. you attend a parenting class or we wont take your kids. She set fire to one house on two separate occasions. She painted the side of one of our houses with boot polish. She destroyed the upstairs carpet of a friends house with nailpolish and embossing ink once. Her chemistry experiments almost sunk our house. The stink was pretty bad too.
When my kids where toddlers I had a lot to deal with. That is no excuse. None. The two people I loved most and should of helped me ... fought. My son firstly had apneo and then the bone tumours. Jane developed asthma. I was the bad one amongst all of this. Because I just.... did what I had too. Basically I felt if the kids were alive at the end of the day I had done my job.
Jane (Ben) Stand up - hands alone.. the smartest of my four kids. But this week has been awful because I have tried to.. and not managed.. to not be self indulgent. I don't understand why Jane would cut herself. I don't understand half or more of the mad things she and my... network? sometimes friends sometimes down right idiots sometimes complete fuckwits... my family member who said.. just let me take her... ahhh I am wild. Absolutely... same family member couldn't stand up for me and never stood near me... same family member that I love... madly....
I am utterly devastated but haven't really had a chance to cry. Sperm donor is being a dickhead telling the kids that its all my fault. I will take the hereditary stuff. That is true. No one from his family ever threatened self harm... Normally sperm donor and I get on fine. He thinks I chased him for money with this bloody crap from the CSA.....the only reason it came about was because he lodged a tax return that had a huge profit...... I got a bill for it. He doesn't deserve to be treated badly but he reacts badly.
And almost always life doesn't let me react.
I cant react by going and bring Jane home. I want to, but her siblings are better off when she is at school. Sperm donor did the right thing. I understand he never wants to give me money and that is fine.
But when sperm donor said to Anna.. I am not talking to your mother... and i felt like my heart was breaking again, and I can barely have contact....
You cant fix the mistakes of the past. I dont and never will understand why Jane self harms.
I am mad as hell. I am also affected by alcohol.
Play time at Awoonga - and the end of Summer
Of course summer ended a while ago - but here ... well it is still warm and lovely. It doesn't feel like autumn because we dont have the trees changing colour or the things I associated with autumn when I lived down south.
Yesterday was the last 'fun' day of my friends visit - again at Awoonga..JPG)
Aaron and William simply amused themselves.
.JPG)
And it was wonderful for all of us. Sad it all comes to an end eventually. But still wonderful that we have those times.
.JPG)
The damaged propeller on the boat meant that ski tubing was out. The motor on the boat is only a 18hp - and to drag the tube around the lake it needs full speed. MOTH was very disappointed but felt the boat wasnt up to it. So Will and Aaron simply amused themselves on the banks fishing and playing.
.JPG)
Yesterday was the last 'fun' day of my friends visit - again at Awoonga.
.JPG)
Aaron and William simply amused themselves..JPG)
And it was wonderful for all of us. Sad it all comes to an end eventually. But still wonderful that we have those times.
.JPG)
The damaged propeller on the boat meant that ski tubing was out. The motor on the boat is only a 18hp - and to drag the tube around the lake it needs full speed. MOTH was very disappointed but felt the boat wasnt up to it. So Will and Aaron simply amused themselves on the banks fishing and playing..JPG)
The birds of Awoonga
I think I have to start with the kookaburra's. They have no shame when you have a BBQ - and beg just as a dog does. They "kill" the meat you throw them by slapping it sharply with their beaks. .JPG)
Of course the pelicans merit mention also. I notice pelicans (although similar) are very different over the world. The pelicans around Brisbane/Tweed heads have pretty pastel colours around their eyes. Joy is going to try get me pictures of that... I do have some somewhere. On the tv - shows with pelicans from other countries look different again. Of course I have no real knowledge of bird species what so ever.. and could be wrong.
And of course Storm Boy is one of my all time favourite books and movie.
Awoonga has an abundant bird population always willing to put on a show for the visitors. The cormorants (Joy calls them Shags - and I had never heard them called that) and the ducks.
Click on any photo to see it larger.
The high rise apartments where the clever birds have found the most appealing views.
And the cheeky birds that visit your BBQ/picnic area to see what you have to offer.
.JPG)
Of course the pelicans merit mention also. I notice pelicans (although similar) are very different over the world. The pelicans around Brisbane/Tweed heads have pretty pastel colours around their eyes. Joy is going to try get me pictures of that... I do have some somewhere. On the tv - shows with pelicans from other countries look different again. Of course I have no real knowledge of bird species what so ever.. and could be wrong.And of course Storm Boy is one of my all time favourite books and movie.
Awoonga has an abundant bird population always willing to put on a show for the visitors. The cormorants (Joy calls them Shags - and I had never heard them called that) and the ducks.
Click on any photo to see it larger.
The high rise apartments where the clever birds have found the most appealing views.
And the cheeky birds that visit your BBQ/picnic area to see what you have to offer.
More from Saturday
After MOTH took me to the harbour for our tour in the boat, he took my friend Joy up river to explore and I took home the four very muddy children and one dog for cleaning and to get ready for Sunday at Awoonga Dam.
Joy took many photos (I no longer have a camera and Anna's camera has to be sent back under warranty for a fault.) We call this hill Mount Larcom - but I think technically it is not a mountain. Australia does that a lot. It is a pleasant climb (if you go without the males in my family) with fantastic views that takes 4-5 hours up and down. Don't go with the males of my family. They think if the recommended climb is 4-5 hours therefore they should try to at least half that time... and make it the most miserable 2 and a half hours of your life.
Joy too took delight in the tenacity of the trees on the banks of the Calliope River.
And the sea eagle posed briefly for them. Remember you can click on the photos to view them larger.
BUT - while they toured the river an accident occurred and the propeller on the boat was damaged. MOTH isn't very happy - but he tried his best at a brave face and fronted up for Sundays play anyway.
Joy took many photos (I no longer have a camera and Anna's camera has to be sent back under warranty for a fault.) We call this hill Mount Larcom - but I think technically it is not a mountain. Australia does that a lot. It is a pleasant climb (if you go without the males in my family) with fantastic views that takes 4-5 hours up and down. Don't go with the males of my family. They think if the recommended climb is 4-5 hours therefore they should try to at least half that time... and make it the most miserable 2 and a half hours of your life.
Joy too took delight in the tenacity of the trees on the banks of the Calliope River.
And the sea eagle posed briefly for them. Remember you can click on the photos to view them larger.
BUT - while they toured the river an accident occurred and the propeller on the boat was damaged. MOTH isn't very happy - but he tried his best at a brave face and fronted up for Sundays play anyway.
Our garden
The first dozen lettuces have all been harvested now. In future I will replant a little sooner! It will be a few weeks before we have more lettuce now. We erected a frame (old tent frames) over the garden and irrigation hose and sprinklers tied to the top.. and whilst Joy was visiting she found us a mosquito net that we will use for pest control. So far we have had minimal pest damage.
The finches are happy with the new arrangement. I have seen Galahs, lorikeets and the occasional cockatoo feeding from the back yard feeder. But the finches seem to have the front yard feeder all to there selves. Doesn't stop them from visiting the back yard one though - they just do it.... with lots of support from their buddies? 
I mentioned Joy bought me a kaffir lime tree - and we cut a damaged water tank in half to plant it. Underneath I have planted corriander, lettuce and some parsley. In the planter stand underneath the banana's I have more pak choi and lettuce coming up. Yes, occasionally the dogs have accidents near the pots. They look suitably sorry when they knock it over. MOTH put tent pegs into the ground on the stand to minimise such accidents.
It has become contagious. The more we plant the more we want. The pak choi has been wonderful in soups and stir frys. It grows so quickly too.
I mentioned Joy bought me a kaffir lime tree - and we cut a damaged water tank in half to plant it. Underneath I have planted corriander, lettuce and some parsley. In the planter stand underneath the banana's I have more pak choi and lettuce coming up. Yes, occasionally the dogs have accidents near the pots. They look suitably sorry when they knock it over. MOTH put tent pegs into the ground on the stand to minimise such accidents.
It has become contagious. The more we plant the more we want. The pak choi has been wonderful in soups and stir frys. It grows so quickly too.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Saturday fishing on the Calliope River
Joy and the kids are still here! The weeks holiday has been extended to a little over three weeks. This makes for - more fun and a complete lack of work ethic from us! The fun of playing in the water, sometimes fishing (most times - no need to bother with such fun company!) and seeing .. what we can see.. is way more fun. Next week our family will endeavour to have a more mature work ethic.
Saturday we originally to go fishing at "No Trespassing" - but the shade had already been taken and the sand flies gave us trouble so we moved to underneath the second bridge. We set up camp - cooked some sausages and admired the view... sea eagles, discarded dead shark etc.
Christian took me out to the mouth of the river with the dogs for a while. That was lovely.
The kids and Joy fished under the bridge in the shade. Here is William covered in mud!
They amused themselves in our absence.
And - here is Aaron's feet.... a special No Tress passing Stiletto effect.... glamorous no?
Heaps more pictures to come of Sunday! It has been lovely!
Saturday we originally to go fishing at "No Trespassing" - but the shade had already been taken and the sand flies gave us trouble so we moved to underneath the second bridge. We set up camp - cooked some sausages and admired the view... sea eagles, discarded dead shark etc.
Christian took me out to the mouth of the river with the dogs for a while. That was lovely.
The kids and Joy fished under the bridge in the shade. Here is William covered in mud!
They amused themselves in our absence.
And - here is Aaron's feet.... a special No Tress passing Stiletto effect.... glamorous no?
Heaps more pictures to come of Sunday! It has been lovely!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Mother's Day
The past two weeks we have been delighted to have our friends Joy, Aaron and Micci join us on our excursions and sleepovers. (So - we forgot the sleep thing - this happens) They have had to visit their other friends and family - so we have only had them maybe 1/3 of the time. I am in the unique situation with Joy .. that it is not necessary for me to hide my jealousy or disappointment when they leave to attend their other obligations. She doesn't mind at all that I say "I don't want you all to leave and hurry up back."
Polite people probably don't say that.
On the weekend we played in the garden and she bought me a beautiful kaffir lime tree. It is my birthday present. MOTH made me a new home for it and some herbs... and I will show you all that later.
Anna's camera has had a glitch - so these photos are all taken with Joy's camera. I gave my camera to my Mama a while ago... and it wont be long before we have Anna's camera back. Fuji film have been brilliant to us on warranties and assistance. That does warrant another post. Maybe later.
So Sunday - we all head out to Awoonga to play. And the critters were happy to oblige for our photos. I had to get Anna to cheer leading practise at 2.30pm so my day was cut short. But MOTH was happy to drive Joy and the kids around the lake in the boat. I was pissed off at the cheer leading practise on Sunday at 2.30pm and so wish the coach would get a life. Why not have it early morning or late afternoon? Why insist on breaking up a perfectly good Sunday - notwithstanding a Mother's day - with a mid-afternoon practise?
But - Joy got these pictures. The pretty faced wallaby watching them - I think he is saying "You are disturbing MY day"... but anyway....
The Pelicans of course....
Saturday night after work Anna left to attend a party full of beans and life....
But come Mother's Day celebrations at Awoonga she mostly kept to the hammock in the picnic shelter....
William and Aaron act like they have not been separated by time and distance for over 3 years and just naturally fall into their patterns... Such wonderful boys. Such wonderful times.
Polite people probably don't say that.
On the weekend we played in the garden and she bought me a beautiful kaffir lime tree. It is my birthday present. MOTH made me a new home for it and some herbs... and I will show you all that later.
Anna's camera has had a glitch - so these photos are all taken with Joy's camera. I gave my camera to my Mama a while ago... and it wont be long before we have Anna's camera back. Fuji film have been brilliant to us on warranties and assistance. That does warrant another post. Maybe later.
So Sunday - we all head out to Awoonga to play. And the critters were happy to oblige for our photos. I had to get Anna to cheer leading practise at 2.30pm so my day was cut short. But MOTH was happy to drive Joy and the kids around the lake in the boat. I was pissed off at the cheer leading practise on Sunday at 2.30pm and so wish the coach would get a life. Why not have it early morning or late afternoon? Why insist on breaking up a perfectly good Sunday - notwithstanding a Mother's day - with a mid-afternoon practise?
But - Joy got these pictures. The pretty faced wallaby watching them - I think he is saying "You are disturbing MY day"... but anyway....
The water dragon who doesn't give a rats ass... anyway......
The Jabiru - who finally THEY see (I still have not seen her/him?)
But who explains the mystery of who lives here... which I have pondered before on previous visits... here.... 
Micci's gorgeous smile.... as she is chauffeured around the lake...
Birds are not stupid in where they choose to live. I too would live on the banks of Awoonga quite happily.
The lillies for all to admire...
The Pelicans of course....
Saturday night after work Anna left to attend a party full of beans and life....
But come Mother's Day celebrations at Awoonga she mostly kept to the hammock in the picnic shelter....
William and Aaron act like they have not been separated by time and distance for over 3 years and just naturally fall into their patterns... Such wonderful boys. Such wonderful times.
Missing the Little things!
One of my favourite blogs appears to have been made private! If you happen to read this.. Please send me an invite at melchri@msn.com.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
I think a spider bit my butt....
Monday night I decided not to bother the MOTH by entering the bedroom and scratching around trying to find my bedclothes (you can read that as.. if i woke him I would be encouraging activities that I was not quite ready for at that time) and instead... go find something from the clothesline.
It must be part of the being a mother stuff the need to dress. You see - our beloved guests had left to go to their next adventure... and so I happily chose to walk bare assed to the clothes line to find the boxer shorts in the dark. Found them - walked inside... and sat next to Rocky the beloved wonderdog on the sofa... when something stung my butt. I slapped it a little.. had a scratch and drank the remainder of my glass of wine and headed to bed.
Comatose or sleep... whateva....
Anyway. Next morning at least 20 bites (Ask Joy and MOTH - I insisted on showing them both. The kids all declined to view. ALL those times I viewed their sore asses? Motherhood can be so damn selfless)
So - it burnt and itched.. and I put some cream on them.... But the sting turned into dull pain... and the swelling grew. Yesterday I had symptoms of both nausea and aching joints. Today it was a little worse. If it is still affecting me tomorrow I will go to the doctors but I guess if it is one of the bad spiders.. I left it too late.
And in future.. aftermidnight I am so not gunna worry about finding bloody boxer shorts.
It must be part of the being a mother stuff the need to dress. You see - our beloved guests had left to go to their next adventure... and so I happily chose to walk bare assed to the clothes line to find the boxer shorts in the dark. Found them - walked inside... and sat next to Rocky the beloved wonderdog on the sofa... when something stung my butt. I slapped it a little.. had a scratch and drank the remainder of my glass of wine and headed to bed.
Comatose or sleep... whateva....
Anyway. Next morning at least 20 bites (Ask Joy and MOTH - I insisted on showing them both. The kids all declined to view. ALL those times I viewed their sore asses? Motherhood can be so damn selfless)
So - it burnt and itched.. and I put some cream on them.... But the sting turned into dull pain... and the swelling grew. Yesterday I had symptoms of both nausea and aching joints. Today it was a little worse. If it is still affecting me tomorrow I will go to the doctors but I guess if it is one of the bad spiders.. I left it too late.
And in future.. aftermidnight I am so not gunna worry about finding bloody boxer shorts.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
I have been tagged
Littlemissy555 was playing a game of Chinese Freeze Tag and invited me to play. The rules are that I must write 10 interesting/strange things about myself or habits that I have. Once I have come up with my 10 things, it is my turn to tag 10 other people to do the same. There are no tag-backs, so if someone has already done this they are "safe" ;0). So, without further ado...*
1. I sleep eat. I sleep walk to the kitchen - prepare food and take it back to the bed. I used to think MOTH was the culprit of the disgusting food in our bed and cursed him mercilessly. It is definitely me who indulges in this..... weird thing. My dear sweet family have taken such lengths as to get photographs as evidence. I can wake up to a lamb chop on my pillow. I have not only made sure its cooked... but dressed it with mint jelly, horseradish cream and seasoned it before I take it back to the bed to half eat it. I will mix cream cheese with corn relish and take it back to bed with carefully cut celery sticks. I will remember nothing.
2. I don't like the dark. The absolute proof of this was back in 1985 when visiting the Mt Isa Mines the tour guide turned off the lights seven kilometres underground. That ten seconds still gives me nightmares and I still need lamps and nightlights. I think the dark freaked me out as a kid when I was told it was bed time and the door was closed. I used to lay afraid and wonder why the heck I couldn't have the light on and read or something until I was ready. Nowdays I annoy my kids with being unable to have the lights out. They are used to me now.. and simply shut my door so my light doesn't bother them.
3. Other peoples problems can sometimes worry me TOO much. I can make myself sick and overtired worrying about friends or family.
4. I like critters. Pretty much all critters. I don't kill spiders - they can live here so long as they obey the head high rule. I indulge lizards. Feed them and water them even. My dogs are spoilt utterly stupid and useless. Although I have learnt to like fishing, I still have my mad moments when I decide they have to live and must go back. It's probably the reason MOTH's mate doesn't invite me to join them fishing. I know most of the dogs names in our neighbourhood. I know few of the humans names.
5. I love to cook for my family and friends. I plan menus in my head all the time. I can be highly critical of friends who feed their kids utter crap. I am also incredibly proud of my friends who have taught their children the pleasure of munching on fresh sugar snap peas... I can be deceitful when I hear a friend say her child does not eat a certain something... and take a lot of effort to disguise that food to prove (only to myself) that the child DOES eat it.... (not an allergy of course.. a dislike.. an allergy I will bend with)
6. I am agnostic. I have had friends of different religions and can admire their faith and be respectful to their beliefs. I would fight for all of their rights to have those beliefs. But silently I suffer the utter bullshit connected to the beliefs...
7. I am completely aware that number 5 and 6 probably denotes me as not a very nice person...
8. Probably still alienating myself from people I like/love/admire and care for... I generally prefer dogs to humans. If I am gone for three hours or three days.. my dogs act like my homecoming is the greatest happening ever. They give me back exactly what I give to them. If the right wing christian stuff is true and animals don't go to heaven? why the hell would we want to go there anyway? I am way more tolerant of dogs than I am of humans.
9. I believe in environment awareness and conservation. I berate myself for my inadequacies - for instance I always forget my enviro bags at the supermarket. I firmly believe in protecting beautiful things for everyone. I think if I spoke my beliefs as often as I feel them... I would probably have no friends at all. Except for the dogs who always seem to learn that chasing roos, digging up the garden or tormenting lizards and birds does annoy me...... Ok - so they don't exactly STOP DOING IT... but they always act like they are ashamed when I catch them.
10. Boy - this is harder than I thought? I am pretty boring really I guess.. easily amused? I believe in the love of family and friends, good food, good (plentiful will do though) wine, surrounding yourself with simple options to make you happy, everyone should have good sex and... ummm.... I really suck at memes?
Ok you are meant to tag someone. I can't possibly. I don't mind being tagged myself. But I loath the thought of me bugging someone when I shouldn't. So - tag yourself and just do it. I found it a bit scary because I worry half the blogs I like to read the writers will all ban me forever for what I have written. Always take what I say with a grain of salt. Nah... fook it pickle me. My butt hurts.
*Melissa tagged me too... and I probably should of plagiarised her huge disclaimer! It was great.
1. I sleep eat. I sleep walk to the kitchen - prepare food and take it back to the bed. I used to think MOTH was the culprit of the disgusting food in our bed and cursed him mercilessly. It is definitely me who indulges in this..... weird thing. My dear sweet family have taken such lengths as to get photographs as evidence. I can wake up to a lamb chop on my pillow. I have not only made sure its cooked... but dressed it with mint jelly, horseradish cream and seasoned it before I take it back to the bed to half eat it. I will mix cream cheese with corn relish and take it back to bed with carefully cut celery sticks. I will remember nothing.
2. I don't like the dark. The absolute proof of this was back in 1985 when visiting the Mt Isa Mines the tour guide turned off the lights seven kilometres underground. That ten seconds still gives me nightmares and I still need lamps and nightlights. I think the dark freaked me out as a kid when I was told it was bed time and the door was closed. I used to lay afraid and wonder why the heck I couldn't have the light on and read or something until I was ready. Nowdays I annoy my kids with being unable to have the lights out. They are used to me now.. and simply shut my door so my light doesn't bother them.
3. Other peoples problems can sometimes worry me TOO much. I can make myself sick and overtired worrying about friends or family.
4. I like critters. Pretty much all critters. I don't kill spiders - they can live here so long as they obey the head high rule. I indulge lizards. Feed them and water them even. My dogs are spoilt utterly stupid and useless. Although I have learnt to like fishing, I still have my mad moments when I decide they have to live and must go back. It's probably the reason MOTH's mate doesn't invite me to join them fishing. I know most of the dogs names in our neighbourhood. I know few of the humans names.
5. I love to cook for my family and friends. I plan menus in my head all the time. I can be highly critical of friends who feed their kids utter crap. I am also incredibly proud of my friends who have taught their children the pleasure of munching on fresh sugar snap peas... I can be deceitful when I hear a friend say her child does not eat a certain something... and take a lot of effort to disguise that food to prove (only to myself) that the child DOES eat it.... (not an allergy of course.. a dislike.. an allergy I will bend with)
6. I am agnostic. I have had friends of different religions and can admire their faith and be respectful to their beliefs. I would fight for all of their rights to have those beliefs. But silently I suffer the utter bullshit connected to the beliefs...
7. I am completely aware that number 5 and 6 probably denotes me as not a very nice person...
8. Probably still alienating myself from people I like/love/admire and care for... I generally prefer dogs to humans. If I am gone for three hours or three days.. my dogs act like my homecoming is the greatest happening ever. They give me back exactly what I give to them. If the right wing christian stuff is true and animals don't go to heaven? why the hell would we want to go there anyway? I am way more tolerant of dogs than I am of humans.
9. I believe in environment awareness and conservation. I berate myself for my inadequacies - for instance I always forget my enviro bags at the supermarket. I firmly believe in protecting beautiful things for everyone. I think if I spoke my beliefs as often as I feel them... I would probably have no friends at all. Except for the dogs who always seem to learn that chasing roos, digging up the garden or tormenting lizards and birds does annoy me...... Ok - so they don't exactly STOP DOING IT... but they always act like they are ashamed when I catch them.
10. Boy - this is harder than I thought? I am pretty boring really I guess.. easily amused? I believe in the love of family and friends, good food, good (plentiful will do though) wine, surrounding yourself with simple options to make you happy, everyone should have good sex and... ummm.... I really suck at memes?
Ok you are meant to tag someone. I can't possibly. I don't mind being tagged myself. But I loath the thought of me bugging someone when I shouldn't. So - tag yourself and just do it. I found it a bit scary because I worry half the blogs I like to read the writers will all ban me forever for what I have written. Always take what I say with a grain of salt. Nah... fook it pickle me. My butt hurts.
*Melissa tagged me too... and I probably should of plagiarised her huge disclaimer! It was great.
Monday, May 07, 2007
A busy but wonderful week
There has been a lot of the usual - such as the football and cheering. The difference has been that Joy, Micci and Aaron have been here to help me hollar.
I have made time to feed the ducks and have a BBQ lunch with dear friends!
Daughter number two (Anna) travelled with her best friend Madison to the Gold Coast to attend the Pink concert... Anna was so lucky this just fell in her lap. I already said - however our dear friend Joy and her daughter Micaela chose to give the tickets to Anna and stay an extra week up here catching up with friends and family. Anna was then lucky again because her best friends parents were willing to take the girls to see the concert.
This picture was the girls morning view of the coast...
And Anna found this shop most amusing... and took a picture of Madison in front of it. Although both girls were curious - and took the photos to prove it... NEITHER HAD THE COURAGE TO ENTER THE SHOP! You just have to love 16 year old girls. They are so funny!
And they LOVED the show and were so excited afterwards that neither Joy or I could understand either girl on the telephone....
We have spent hours and days at Awoonga dam playing on the new ski tube and in the water.
That is Aaron and MOTH about to set off....
And the kookaburra's joined our BBQ's of course. (Click on the photo to see the picture better)
And we threw them sausages - and they "killed" them by bashing them on the tree first before consuming.
The wet walk back up the hill after playing on the water - and friends united again.
And Anna off to cheerleading whilst the adults played at home.
It has been a thoroughly enjoyable but busy week!
I have made time to feed the ducks and have a BBQ lunch with dear friends!
Daughter number two (Anna) travelled with her best friend Madison to the Gold Coast to attend the Pink concert... Anna was so lucky this just fell in her lap. I already said - however our dear friend Joy and her daughter Micaela chose to give the tickets to Anna and stay an extra week up here catching up with friends and family. Anna was then lucky again because her best friends parents were willing to take the girls to see the concert.
This picture was the girls morning view of the coast...
And Anna found this shop most amusing... and took a picture of Madison in front of it. Although both girls were curious - and took the photos to prove it... NEITHER HAD THE COURAGE TO ENTER THE SHOP! You just have to love 16 year old girls. They are so funny!
And they LOVED the show and were so excited afterwards that neither Joy or I could understand either girl on the telephone....
We have spent hours and days at Awoonga dam playing on the new ski tube and in the water.
That is Aaron and MOTH about to set off....
And the kookaburra's joined our BBQ's of course. (Click on the photo to see the picture better)
And we threw them sausages - and they "killed" them by bashing them on the tree first before consuming.
The wet walk back up the hill after playing on the water - and friends united again.
And Anna off to cheerleading whilst the adults played at home.It has been a thoroughly enjoyable but busy week!
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Can't wait for the weekend!
On the weekend we borrowed a ski tube from our friend Kelly. Of course, because we borrowed it... it broke. (It's main use for the summer has been in a chlorinated pool as a pool toy - not the ski tube use) One minute Aiden was flying across the water... next minute he was off... the ski rope pulling the canvas with the handles and the circle middle float bobbing in the water.
Bummer! But - look what Joy bought us!
And we have to wait now till the weekend!
I haven't told Kelly about the demise of her ski tube yet. I figure I will tell her AFTER the weekend and if she is terribly upset she can have ours. I SUSPECT Kelly wont be upset or expect it returned however - I also know that her husband hasn't quite the generosity that his wife has.
Wont matter - we will all play this weekend and if it goes - it goes and I will buy another as soon as possible. Once again note to self - DO NOT BORROW STUFF!
Bummer! But - look what Joy bought us!
And we have to wait now till the weekend!I haven't told Kelly about the demise of her ski tube yet. I figure I will tell her AFTER the weekend and if she is terribly upset she can have ours. I SUSPECT Kelly wont be upset or expect it returned however - I also know that her husband hasn't quite the generosity that his wife has.
Wont matter - we will all play this weekend and if it goes - it goes and I will buy another as soon as possible. Once again note to self - DO NOT BORROW STUFF!
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