The school holidays are over...

So much has happened I am not sure where to start.

But Jane (my youngest daughter) who was expelled from boarding just prior to the holidays had an altercation with her father - and is now living back here. The local government school would not enroll her until this coming Friday - and so hopefully we can do that in my lunch hour.

The altercation included some rubbish wherein she informed her father that she knows that age 15 she can claim Centrelink (government payments) and live in a government funded housing establishment for troubled teenagers. She is somewhat misinformed there... neither her father or I would ever sign a paper stating she cant live at home. Sadly... this seemed attractive to her. Money for nothing and a cool place to live with other teenagers who think bad behaviour is acceptable. Brilliant. I would swear but the rating thing still bothers me that I am such a potty mouth.

We are still a little unsure who gave her such information... have suspicions and of course hearsay, innuendo and rumour are all evil and I am fighting with myself to not shove hot pokers in the eyes of those I suspect could be responsible.

I warned sperm donor that counsellors for Jane were a bad idea. It isn't like I haven't been there and done that before.

Jane spent the entire holiday here anyway due to the kids sperm donor being sick. I think he said something about a gall bladder or something like that. An operation. Horses in work and way too busy. Jane and William only went to his place for the last weekend.. and whatever fight happened there must of been a good one. William said he heard nothing - and knowing my son ... that would be correct.

But - sperm donor was very congenial and supportive at the delivery of Jane and all her worldly possessions yesterday during my lunch hour. I wish I had more time yesterday because I should of shoved half that junk back into his four wheel drive. Jane seems happy to be home and busily planning her new life here.

The rest of the family? Anna refuses point blank to share a room with her sister. She will share with William - but under no circumstances Jane. William seems to understand (as always) that the easiest way to please especially me is to cause no major waves. A three bedroom house just... doesn't work. Or maybe it can.. I do have a plan...(It's ok - I have ditched the buy a bigger boat and piss off one, join the circus one and although William would like to live in a tent out the back... I acknowledge the dogs could pose a problem there)

I should get time alone soon to write what I want to write and do what I want to do. Post video clips of Anna at the cheerleading competition and her dramas. Our garden and its progress - and what the dogs did do the new ornamental garden. Of friends in need and friends indeed. How four days working with me in my room at work made a coworker have to take two weeks stress leave and I still seem to be secure in my job anyway. (I LOVE two year olds.. it is just the best age! Especially when its not my stuff they are wrecking! And I am so fond of cuddles from small people - it is as nice as cuddles with puppies - except I like puppy breath better.)

And I am the only person (other than Jane) in my house pleased to have Jane home.

Even the dogs seem to be mucking up.

My birthday.
No one in my family is interested in how I feel... my birthday was as close to revolting as it usually is with a few exceptions. Anna and MOTH absolutely took over. Anna returned early from cheerleading at the footyball to surprise me? and MOTH just... wouldn't shush and had to talk over me.... Meg bought me some new wine glasses and seemed to forget I wouldn't want to cook and clean that night. It was lovely that Meg remembered my birthday and I am a complete bitch for even compmlentating complaining. The woman I worked with had a meltdown and is now on stress leave. I think shes an idiot - but I can be ghastly in my appraisals. And occasionally I feel guilty I can say that about her. The kids smelt fear, or sensed it.. played on it and .. behaved in a way that upset her. I was no help because I thought the kids were being wonderfully funny.

There are jolly good reasons I lose jobs. The woman was trained in childcare -I am not. I dont like them to be miserable and I will fight you if you make them miserable. I might not hit you or bite you.. but I will fight you. Dont upset them and I wont upset you. I wont let them climb on furniture or bite or harm anyone,... but if they chose to eat the play dough, spread the paint in hair or not understand your punishment of ten fucking (there goes my rating again) minutes in time out... I am not going to back you with punishing them further. The kids have forgot. They dont remember why your being a lunatic with the "time out" stuff. They just want me to get them out of there. And frankly I thought her hair looked perfectly nice with the paint in it and didnt understand why she was so upset.

The kids at work decorated a dinasaur cake for me and that was fun. I wish I hadnt of laughed when one of the kids made a terrible mess.. maybe that poor so called idiot would feel saner and I would feel.. less guilty. So I cooked and cleaned. Nothing unusual. My children bought me stuffed animals as presents. Uhuh - enough said. My Uncle Dave emailed me.. very special. I received a few cards. That was very nice. Work put in for a bottle of wine, scratchies and chocolates for me. They were correct with the wine.. a lush I will be forever... a gambler never (not scratchies pokies or any of that crap - I would gamble and will gamble if I believe in anything) and chocolates only if I am not smoking. I cant smoke at work ..... generally... so heck my smoking at home is rediculous.

So much has happened.So many loose ends to tie. So many times just shaking my head,, wondering...

MOTH is rightfully mad at me.. sperm donor is such a suck arse he is nice to me... Sometimes we just get pulled too many directions. I am just bouncing. But I am not as much fun as tigger. And my youngest daughter finds it so hard to find her place in life.