I have a kayak

MOTH bought me a kayak on Friday.

I have wanted one for sometime - but generally he would dismiss it as yet another of my not so sensible desires. For example - I have always wanted a hideously expensive lamp. With four kids who always broke everything, always owning errant dogs and now grandchildren to continue the carnage... I still want this lamp. I am the one who throws the ball to the dogs inside. I am accused of being the one who decides to dance with my daughters at midnight to songs from You Tube.

I SUSPECT he bought it for me to prove I wont use it.

That is probably why when I woke up Saturday morning after he had left for work he had tied the bloody thing onto my car. I was very pleased to receive the gift but I didn't mean I wanted to go kayaking NOW. It is Winter still for heavens sake! In my very glamorous winter nightwear I stared at the car and kayak out the window. I know I said I wanted the damn thing - but I have errands to run, and I am not completely sure I can lift or tie this thing back on if I did try to use it.

When Cheree arrived we both stared over it with our cups of tea. We considered driving her car to Barney Point Beach and getting a bucket of sand to tip over the kayak to explain to MOTH that we did try it and would try it again once the warmer weather came back. But I have that dent in the car that isn't fixed and I figured the salt water wouldn't be so good. Or we were too lazy to even try that.

All we could think of was the water would be bloody cold.

MOTH arrived home much earlier than expected and he was keen to take it out. He had first go around Callemondah dam and I declined to have a go.

But this morning he assured me it was not as windy as yesterday afternoon and I did have a go... both at the Callemondah dam and in the Auckland Creek. The water was no colder than I remember it in the warmer months - only the wind made me feel cold where I splashed myself. I get a wet bottom because I am very unco-ordinated in the getting in and out of the kayak.

Next weekend I will attempt to row my little boat from Callemondah to the Yacht club. MOTH didn't know I had the camera.. so only pictures of him playing in it were taken.

But I do love my little kayak.

The volkswagon crash

I was away with Anna and William at the end of June beginning of July. When I returned my beloved brother told me of a terrible incident wherein my father and step mother had a car accident. My father is fond of old cars. Well old machines really. Maybe because we cant afford new? Who knows? But he lovingly restored his VW. And he loved it. They were on their way to a VW rally in Wagga when a large dual cab 4x4 lost control overtaking on a crest and rolled in front of them. Dad took evasive action and... well.... the pictures tell the story...

It could of been much worse. I shudder to think how much worse. My step mother had her arm broken and a plate in it and spent her very first night in hospital. She would of hated it. Joan likes her home and her pretty smells and things. I hate thinking of her having to go to a hospital.

The VW wont be able to be fixed. I can see the misery in my fathers face. My nephew to me just looks like my beautiful little brother.

It was just magnificent though that Dad and Joan didn't get seriously hurt. Horrific that it can take just a second to... destroy something someone worked so hard to preserve.

I can see in some of those photos.. that on the left the t-model ford has been removed from the shed so the VW can go in. That is saying something. My father spent the last 40 years preserving that car... and he moves it to put this broken car in. The car of his youth... that he drove across the Nullabor with his best mate from college. (Not the exact one...)

I was shaken. I am not ready to lose these people. I dont ring or write or visit as much as I should. I just like to know they are there.

They are fine... thank dog.

Climbing Mount Larcom

This morning MOTH, my son William, my workmate and friends Cheree and Tonya and Tonya's son Christian set off to climb Mount Larcom. The photo below is taken from about 3/4 of the way up the walk.

Mount Larcom is only 632 m above sea level but the highest peak in our area. The walk is meant to be EASY... and takes five hours. It took us just over an hour and a half up - we spent an hour at the top and probably just over an hour down. Or else I am delusional because I am so bloody tired. I have attempted this before and failed. I just quit last time. I was grateful to have Cheree and Tonya this time. Because there was no bloody way I was quiting if they didn't.

Our dog Rocky and me at the top. He probably is part dingo. I don't know. He and our other dog Dotti sleep in our beds, hog our sofas and molest all visitors. We like them. Many others do not like them. Dotti can rarely come on outings because she is deaf.

That is V for victory. And proof I crawled up the damn top.
Viewing where our cars where.

My son William didn't seem as pooped as I was. I still smoked anyway.


Cheree is not doing V for victory she is giving me rabbit ears.

All around us gorgeous views. Exhilarating.

Magnificent.

The narrows where we boat and fish and crab.

At work we have a "Biggest Loser" competition wherein whoever loses the most weight wins the weigh in money from the contestants on Fridays weigh in. I like to be competitive. So I made these for us for our return. None of us ate them. I hate their will power.

Quick fill in

Oh! I haven't still been partying!

MOTH has been sick - and naturally because he is male his sickness is far worse than any other sick person has ever suffered. He had a week off work and hogged the sofa and the television (I think I will scream if I have to endure another episode of Deadliest Catch.) He is cranky and not like the MOTH I normally share my life with. My patience is thin, but thankfully I think he is on the mend.

My closest friend was devastated by the actions of her teenage daughter. Common theme, no one to blame - simply teenage girls can be so selfish. I spend 7.5 hours a day with this friend and vicarious traumatisation is very wearying. And pretty fair to say I have already done my share of teenage daughters who break hearts. My own daughters and hers - beautiful, smart, funny and with basically good hearts who want to grow up too soon. And absolutely understanding the desire to be a grown up because we already did the teenage years.

At work there are lovely women who make me proud to be part of their team and happy to be with. There are also a couple that simply make life miserable when life shouldn't be.

I have a couple of challenging children at the moment. One I haven't warmed to and that makes me feel bad. I haven't had a challenging child before that I didn't end up loving like crazy. This child just manages to make me angry and it disturbs me that I have no nice feelings for this child. The other challenging child just captured my heart and makes me roar laughing and she is naughty (we aren't allowed to ever use words like naughty) but she is just such a funny little whirlwind...and it bugs me that the little whirlwind makes me happy and laugh and the other child that has behaviour problems simply makes me angry. A conflict within me. I can fight with the whirlwind all day and not feel any awful emotion. The other child just makes me feel awful emotions. I cannot cuddle her. I cannot sympathise with her. It is a really odd feeling. And I do feel like a monster to not be able to love that child like I love the others. The whirlwind honestly is just as naughty as that child. Maybe naughtier. I certainly feel bad that I cant seem to warm to this child.

All my other kids at work are complete angels. Funny, smart and best of all they like my singing. Brilliant caring parents. I bribe my two year olds with toileting... jelly beans for wees or poos. I do it out of my laziness. I have 12 children I have to change 4 times a day. It is hard work - so I get them to use the toilets as soon as I can. Bribes work. Some kids are smart enough to make one wee worth five jellybeans but I am willing to pay that. I know they haven't finished the toileting. It isd easier for me to watch them on the toilet than it is to take them to the change table. I can do other things standing at the door of the bathroom. I have been so lucky with these kids. They are all (well excluding my battle with the one) just amazing and wonderful.

My father and stepmother had a terrible accident... and the 1955 Volkswagen my father had lovingly restored is a right off. It gave me a bit of a fright too. I like knowing they are there. I don't ever want them not to be there.

I am climbing Mt Larcom tomorrow with some friends from work. I have failed this walk before. I got cranky and gave up and sat by myself. I am not failing tomorrow.