Quick fill in

Oh! I haven't still been partying!

MOTH has been sick - and naturally because he is male his sickness is far worse than any other sick person has ever suffered. He had a week off work and hogged the sofa and the television (I think I will scream if I have to endure another episode of Deadliest Catch.) He is cranky and not like the MOTH I normally share my life with. My patience is thin, but thankfully I think he is on the mend.

My closest friend was devastated by the actions of her teenage daughter. Common theme, no one to blame - simply teenage girls can be so selfish. I spend 7.5 hours a day with this friend and vicarious traumatisation is very wearying. And pretty fair to say I have already done my share of teenage daughters who break hearts. My own daughters and hers - beautiful, smart, funny and with basically good hearts who want to grow up too soon. And absolutely understanding the desire to be a grown up because we already did the teenage years.

At work there are lovely women who make me proud to be part of their team and happy to be with. There are also a couple that simply make life miserable when life shouldn't be.

I have a couple of challenging children at the moment. One I haven't warmed to and that makes me feel bad. I haven't had a challenging child before that I didn't end up loving like crazy. This child just manages to make me angry and it disturbs me that I have no nice feelings for this child. The other challenging child just captured my heart and makes me roar laughing and she is naughty (we aren't allowed to ever use words like naughty) but she is just such a funny little whirlwind...and it bugs me that the little whirlwind makes me happy and laugh and the other child that has behaviour problems simply makes me angry. A conflict within me. I can fight with the whirlwind all day and not feel any awful emotion. The other child just makes me feel awful emotions. I cannot cuddle her. I cannot sympathise with her. It is a really odd feeling. And I do feel like a monster to not be able to love that child like I love the others. The whirlwind honestly is just as naughty as that child. Maybe naughtier. I certainly feel bad that I cant seem to warm to this child.

All my other kids at work are complete angels. Funny, smart and best of all they like my singing. Brilliant caring parents. I bribe my two year olds with toileting... jelly beans for wees or poos. I do it out of my laziness. I have 12 children I have to change 4 times a day. It is hard work - so I get them to use the toilets as soon as I can. Bribes work. Some kids are smart enough to make one wee worth five jellybeans but I am willing to pay that. I know they haven't finished the toileting. It isd easier for me to watch them on the toilet than it is to take them to the change table. I can do other things standing at the door of the bathroom. I have been so lucky with these kids. They are all (well excluding my battle with the one) just amazing and wonderful.

My father and stepmother had a terrible accident... and the 1955 Volkswagen my father had lovingly restored is a right off. It gave me a bit of a fright too. I like knowing they are there. I don't ever want them not to be there.

I am climbing Mt Larcom tomorrow with some friends from work. I have failed this walk before. I got cranky and gave up and sat by myself. I am not failing tomorrow.