Friday, May 30, 2008

Malicious gossip and tragic incidents

Last week at work a terrible incident occurred. Fifteen minutes before my shift was over one of my supervisors instructed me to toilet my children. I called three of my 2 year olds and left the sandpit area immediately. My mistake was not waiting for the supervisor to send someone else to the sandpit.

She gets paid $8 an hour more than me for being qualified and responsible.My teammates often gripe about this particular supervisors double standards and very rarely does anyone stand up for themselves and say no to her.

Anyway - a small child was hurt by another child whilst the sandpit area was unsupervised. And of course I felt just terrible. I left work saddened and horrified at the horrible incident. I shouldn't of left until someone else had replaced me. Ten minutes before a coworker and myself were playing ball happily with all these kids and the little child that was attacked giggling delightfully sitting on a bike near me. When I was instructed to leave the area I just did as I was told. Ten minutes later the child was scratched and bitten.

The anguished mother decided she wanted to personally tell off the person responsible... so two of my supervisors decided that was me and the following morning I endured a very personal attack by the mother. I wasn't given this as a choice - the supervisors involved on these days led me to believe there was not an option.

I have learnt since that I could of refused.

Anyway, as if that wasn't horrid enough.... about six months ago I came to work with a hangover. I mean it.. a rotten, thumping, pore seeping, wretched hangover. I am telling you - childcare is no place to ever have a hangover. Every maraca shaken, drum thumped, piercing scream, the hokey pokey hurts to the very core. "The wheels on the bus"? That bit where the people on the bus stand up sit down? Man - killer. The woman I work with usually laughed at me... as you should. It is the Australian way - laugh at the sucker because there but for the grace of dog... you could be there. But - being a good supervisor when another staff member mentioned my condition to her she also gave me some cheap perfume and chewing gum.

I have managed to upset a couple of women I work with. Anyway, cutting a long story short...well shorter... I was surprised to see my direct supervisor upset with some staff for gossiping... and as she muttered about their malicious activities I... didn't bother asking what they were gossiping about... Another coworker came down to me and told me to watch my back... and I thought she was referring to the fact my washing machine has been strangely putting fluff on stuff or I could have been used as a nose wipe by one of my children... and I went and checked the back of my shirt. Another coworker was talking to my supervisor about something being finished and she turned to me and said "I am so sorry Melissa" and I thought she meant because she must of thought she was interrupting me.. so I said.. "Don't be silly - nothing to apologise about!"

The malicious gossip was about me. That I was hungover and drank alcohol during my lunch hour which explains why I never eat lunch in the staff room. (I live across the road and come home at lunch time to do the washing up, play with the dogs, check the gardens and enjoy quiet time)

One of the supervisors told a family member who also happens to be one of my best friends and she came immediately to tell me. I rang my direct supervisor (who happens to be my nicest close friend at the moment) and said why the hell didn't you tell me? She said she knew how upset I was over the incident last week and wanted to spare my feelings. She also knew it was bullshit (she is a friend who knows me very well - including the fact I do drink alcohol)

My daughter Anna came home for most of the week this week. It was just nice having her home.
I bought myself some computer stuff that I think is pretty cool before all this crap happened and it arrived yesterday. My 22" monitor is just gorgeous EXCEPT it means everyone can see what I am typing/looking at and they all LOOK!
MOTH is fine as always and just amuses himself. He deals with everything with food and sex. Wish I could do it as easily.
A new friend was surprisingly wonderful and bought me chocolate cake and small gifts that really made me think.. wow sometimes life is wonderful. How thoughtful and lovely?
The majority of my colleagues were wonderful with their support, kind words and defence.
My daughter Jane continues to make her own life more difficult than it should be.
William pointed out some new tumours (he has hereditary multiple exostoses) and today we got yet another referral to a specialist. I took him shopping for new shoes and sports gear today while we waited for the doctors receptionist to type up our letter. William let me send him to the hairdresser for a real haircut - and I suspect he did that just to please me. He doesn't like having his hair cut, and today he let them cut it short and how I like it.
I have the flu and didn't go to work today. I suspect the flu is my own fault because it is policy to wear gloves for wiping kids noses and sometimes I don't bother if I think no one is watching. But the kids sneeze on me and I cuddle them if they cry... germ city and I guess I am rundown because I have been so upset this past week.

Still - was a bit shocking that such lies could be told by a couple of my workmates and for me to be so stupid to not see what was going on. My funny jokes have to stop. My direct supervisor and I do laugh and carry on about some of my activities outside of work. Only Saturday after the incident we went to Rockhampton for her sons football and to catch up with my girls and Sizzlers for lunch... and I did have a terrible hangover and complained all the food tasted like the brandy she gave me that I swear was dodgy. I was the one who passed out first at the work social club function. I do say silly things like "wine makes me clever" before we attend trivia at a local hotel with my workmates.
I enabled the sad women to try to spread such a horrid thing about me. I guess we live and learn.

6 comments:

Ginnie said...

Gossip can be lethal. I try really hard to stay away from it. Easier said than done.

Melissa said...

You didn't enable shit. There will always be some small, petty people spreading gossip, but it sounds like most of your co-workers and friends know you and have your back.

Sorry to hear about the kid who got hurt and I understand how you feel, but it IS the supervisor's job to cover the area if they've just asked you to leave and take care of the other children, isn't it?

William sounds like such a doll. I hope he's doing all right.

Melissa xoxox

Anonymous said...

Time to listen to "Baby it's cold outside" Mum! Maybe feed the ducks - gosh they have been starving since you work all the time!!!!

LuSh said...

Bluddy gossip, no good comes of it unless I'm spreading it course.. not that I'd ever do something as malicious as that. I'm much better at starting random complete bullshit rumours.

And the fact is a biter is a biter they'll find the time and place to psych out the opposition, and it's a hard habit to break.

Love to you and the gaggle of dogs (and humans)

Mal Kiely [Lancelots Pram] said...

Being a victim of malicious gossip myself - I hear the unexpected, unfairly-targeted pain and humiliation you may be feeling.

Please don't stop being yourself. That'll just let them win. you can only be the person you are, and that's yourself.

If that doesn't work, perhaps it's time to go somewhere "where I am appreciated, not just tolerated".

Just my two-cents worth.

Cyalayta
Mal :)

Anonymous said...

Malicious Gossip is so hurtful - I know its being - done to me now. I lost my job over it, but my belief is it was not a job worth keeping if people can believe such petty garbage. Thanks for letting me vent on your blog, just feeling a little sore in spirit now. Loved your comments the way you all say things cheered me up.