The OTHER secret

Because I have a damn big mouth when it comes to secrets (I cant even be trusted to buy presents for any occasion more than the day before - ask anyone who knows me... it is true - I have given my kids bikes a month before their birthday/Christmas just because I cannot keep a secret like that).... I was just damned lucky Anna had her big/little drama last week with Shawn.

To my beautiful Anna... anything that affects her is at least as big as Chernobyl.. she is however MARVELLOUSLY my daughter.

The REAL SECRET WAS.... (INSERT DRUM ROLL HERE) SARA IS PREGNANT!

Yep - my calculations have the due date as 7th November. I get to be a Nanny again - and this time I am not 33 years old with a 9, 8 and 7 year old of my own! This time she is with a man who loves her. A man who works. A man who has been a wonderful stepfather of 2+ years. (Gawd when I write it we so look trashy? Oh -- buggar we are!)



I chose this photo only because it is the only one that seems to give a tiny paunch to Sara's tummy. It was taken last November. I have my hand on Sara's shoulder.. MOTH next to me, Sara's Aunt (beloved family member to all of us) Lola, my other daughter's Jane holding the lollipop and Anna trying to stand far away from us.. My son William the slightly taller one than my grandson Jay holding the plastic bat. The second last day we were all together actually. We are at Jay's school after attending his concert. He wore black tights and danced to "shake your tail feather".

Anyway - it was a fortnight of worry and sleepless nights. Sara seemed excited in her initial call to me and I reacted overly happy. She then had to fret that I would.. judge? or condone her actions because she was frightened the timing was so wrong. She and her partner have been taking actions to save money and enable a future without to many worries - and a baby now is simply bad timing. I had to try carefully backtrack my happiness and excitement and let her know no matter what she decided was ok with me. And of course it is and was and always will be.

I normally communicate frequently with my daughters but this got to the stage where I was fretting she would think I was stalking her. I just felt her pain, confusion and fear so much! That is the shitty thing about being a parent! That never seems to stop!

I was really pleased though that Sara had told me it was a secret... and I rang her sister Anna later... and Anna knew I knew and we both giggled that Sara had been so funny as to tell both of us a secret. As if we keep that stuff? We had to keep it from Jane though - because had Sara chosen to not go through with it we knew Jane... wouldn't deal with that well. I couldn't tell loads of people I wanted to because I had to chose which people would .. understand the considerations. For me it was gorgeous that Anna and I cant keep secrets from each other.

Seventeen years of having someone around... oh you miss them when they are gone. We have been texting each other with our plans for bubs birth. We should probably consult Sara about them at some stage.

I am going to take Jay to the zoo again and probably the theme park thing.. so he doesn't think his sibling is getting all the attention. Anna and I will stay in a nearby motel and be horrid baby stalker type relatives. I wont have a day off work till the event so that I have plenty of days to sniff baby and dress baby and feed mother.

How exciting!



Sara had to think through so much... Poor girl. Thank dog that is over!