Ok - I just read this over at LittleMissy's.
And it reminded me of a story.
So let's set the scenerio. I was 27 - MOTH was 22. I had four kids, a defacto partner who lived 400kms away at that time due to (mostly) the fact I had one sick child; I had two mortgages, two businesses (racehorses and the guest house) and a hell of a lot going on in my head. MOTH's biggest worry was where the next party was on. Defacto partner (aka the sperm donor)'s biggest worry was no one was cooking his meals and cleaning his clothes.
I had started a hmmm... no.. cant find any nice ways to say it.. sexual liason with MOTH. Or he had - who cares. I am going with the fact my head was way too overloaded to really consider the consequences of what was meant to be.. just sex. (Bloody good sex I might add)
Yep - I feel it. I was an adulteress without any doubt. I used to throw MOTH out the window at 5am as soon as I heard my children waking. Out the window actually. It was actually the highlight of my days watching this gorgeous naked man flee out my window. I find things like that wonderfully amusing! And I would throw him his clothes after he jumped. Years later I found out my dear friends did see that... and just stayed quiet. I was sure my "dirty" little secret was indeed .. secret. I have always been dreadful at secrets.
Anyway... one day he found it amusing to let himself into my house when he knew the kids were at daycare and I was at home. And I was in the shower. He wore the hazards outfit from his workplace - complete with gasmask and orange overalls. He stupidly entered the bathroom... and opened the shower door quickly..... thinking this was a funny joke. My reaction was to start hitting and hitting him.... I was SO SCARED...
I had been a single mother (well kinda - so I was meant to go home - I have trouble with agenda's etc) for about a year... and this was honestly MY WORST NIGHTMARE. I beat him and beat him... and my fury and horror - I was just so scared....
Anyways... MOTH learnt lesson number one. Never ever fook with me in the shower. I guess had he been a real murder/rapist he would of hit me back and probably killed me. I was afterall about 47 kilos and 168 cms tall.
But trust me.. you don't stop to think... why isnt the attacker attacking?
And when it was over - and I realised who it was and that he had been a stupid ass.. I refused to speak to him for a few weeks.
11 comments:
Excellent story! Is this the same MOTH that is still around?
Yep - same MOTH. If he enters the shower now when I am in it he makes plenty of noise so I know its him.
He IS! Isn't he Cazzie?! He has PLENTY of reasons to be happy hey! Haha!
Lol lishy he has learnt the hard way what I find sexy and what I dont hasnt he?
Ya'll are into some strange sexual acts in Australia... :)
Wow, what a scary story. I totally feel that you just should beat the crap out of that unexpected visitor - especially one wearing special masks and clothing...ouh.
I would have done the same, I suppose :)
My husband used to do similar things: but finally he learned that I am more frightened than having fun....
re: all the friends having seen a man jumping out of the window, but pretending the opposit: hilarious.
Or very sad.
I can't decide whether it's the irony and humour OR the dishonesty I feel more dominant in their behaviour.
i hope you unerstand my confused words.
It's me again.
Thanks for adding me on your list of some of the things you enjoy.
I added you a bit of time ago to mine - under 'Constant Summer', if you don't mind the 'address'.
I would've beaten him too!! You must have been scared to death. I am glad that my only intruder was the dog. I hope he learned his lesson (MOTH) ;0) (Thank you for the mention too!!)
I appreciate discretion (the friends seeing MOTH exiting the window and not breathing a word), which is a quality I'm sure a lot of neighbors and friends don't have. I like people allowing others to have their own business, or at least letting them think they do!
I'd have smacked the living daylights out of MOTH too, Melly! No scary shit in the shower, please.
OMG! I would have killed him! That has got to be one of my greatest fears. He is so lucky you still keep his a$$ around!
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