I have had a ghastly time for the past few weeks

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Oh no! Whinging! Yep I agree dont read this. That was the picture of my Aunts and Uncles taken on Monday at Aunt Nina's funeral. Nine reduced to seven. Friday morning after letting William down a little with the football.... the horrible news that Dora (the oldest) had suffered horrific burns FROM A HEATER? and the family gathers yet again. The photos of the siblings are always taken from oldest to youngest. The handsome (but strangely grey) man second from the right is my father. (My aunts names are Dora Nina Ilma Nita and Lola - my grandmother must of had a terrible sense of humour dont you think? I tried to do the four letters end in a thing too but lost with Jane because her father was so adamant he wanted that name.) It always shocks me to see him as a grey haired man. Odd huh? To me he is still a redhaired man who will race me to anything and leap fences!

I have been so slack. Raising these kids of mine I have... always drawn from what I learnt from my family but at the same time I have neglected being part of my own family. I am just too busy? And I don't do an awful lot? I cook and I clean and I pay bills and I figure out .. things and I.... works sometimes and... well I am an expert taxi driver...IMAGINE if I did actually have a career?

I RUN to be home at 3.10 pm for my son who starts calling for me when he gets to the end of the street. I get shitty with Anna for making me wait in the drop and pick up zone at high school for too long. She does what I did and ignores me COMPLETELY. If I get real mad and get out of the car she does come though. I wonder how career women find time to make soup and birthday cakes. I wonder why my house gets so filthy with countless children and the dogs when really I have plenty of time to clean up after them.

This picture is of my generation... ie; the kids of the aunts and uncles picture who attended Nina's ceremony.I keep pouring over the photos and remembering wonderful things... and sad things.. and .. just things.

I have stayed away for so long... but.. the photos mean the world to me. These people taught me so very much. I bet they dont even know what they taught me. (The bitch in me has to say there IS one I dont care for and think deserves a cunt award.)Ahh maybe I am being cruel. There is so much I dont know. Have to say I think the women in our family dress so nicely. Nina would of loved that. My lovely cousins.

Oh wait I have to post the picture of our generations offspring and then I will have to take that back! Hahahaa... Anna tells me that the boots I found horrid are actually very expensive and very cool. She had her "Oh mum you are just so archaic" face on when I commented on the clothes.

Hmm.. blogger wont let me upload the picture? Have to try again later I guess. But I have spent way more tears and time wasting reminiscing this last few weeks. Earnt a few more grey hairs, wrinkles and wasted a few more brain cells. Revisited smells and emotions and laughter and sadness. Remembered and ... found once again just how gorgeous my kids are and how ... my life partner deserves a medal to put up with me. (I am very lucky.. the only way he knows how to communicate with me is to .. satisfy/amuse me sexually... isnt that ghastly? my world disingegrates and I just... enjoy sex .. a lot... I read some sad persons comment on a wonderful blog today who said their sex life had .. became dull after only 18 months. And I did think... oh you poor fool. Isnt that terribly mean of me?)